JWM I II J The House Painter. Th© painter resemble* the plumber in hia deep-rooted unwillingness to keep hie agreements. One of hie chief object* in life i* to put Jff the hour of painting until the hone# owner's paiicuco ie completely ex haunted, and hie consequent indiguatiou deprive* him of that mental equanimity necessary for a successful content with the pointer's wilee. There wm, probably, never au instance of a painter who painted the houee oil the day when he had promised to paint it. lie never make* lee* than three poetponemente. Jfi* excuee for the fir*t of theao i* that he ia out of white lead or turpentine and ha© been unable to procure them. The second postponement i* made because the painter professes to foresee a coining shower of ruin — which refuse* to coine with a* much obstinacy a* if it had been prophesiod by Prof. ' Venuor — and for the painter's third failure to appear on the promised day he plead* either an attack of illues* or Iho failure of his assistant to provide him with Udders. By this time the house owner has bo come so indignant that, when the paint er actually urrivos, the latter find* it , comparatively easy to overthrow the argumeut* of the former in favo/ of any particular color: It is a point of honor j with the painters never to let a mun ! have his own choice as to the color with ! which his house shall bo painted. The house owner and his wife may have given much time to the selection of o *'^u*c - - ^"Hable ,

« |fr> Jt tllv • •• *), them colors won't do at all, sir." In ygin doe* the unhappy man insist that he likes them, and that, therefore, they will and must "do }" the painter bends a pitying glance upon him and asserts that be has no idea how the tints in question will look when laid on the house. In most cases his obstinacy overrules the house owner, and the latter is compelled to consent to having his house painted with the colors which he privately thinks dotcatahle. Sometimes, however, the painter pretends to acquiesce in his victim's views, and the latter flutter* himself that he has gained a victor)'. Ho soon finds out when it is too late, that no painter ever yet consented to adopt color* which he himself had not selected. The hOUse owner may have supposed that his house was to be painted a delicate cream color, but he will find that it has been painted Indian red, and that the puinter insists that he bns strictly followed his instructions, although, K WW preremu*, it is just [jowroit? tn«u the tints have been mixed a trifle too warm. What can the helpless man whoso house has thus been unlawfully painted red do with the wretch who camly insists that Indian red is really a delicate cream color, rendered a trifle too warm in mixing? Ho may kill the painter, but the uigust laws of tho country will punish him, or ho may at vast expense hire another painter, and have his house repainted, with results as unsatisfactory as those which attended his first effort. If he is a wise man, h® simply submits to the inevitable and recognises the fact that no man $*n have his house painted to suit himself. There is a worthy gentleman residing in a New Jersey suburb town who for twenty years has been trying to have his house painted a particular shade of brown. During that time lie has ein ployed four different painters, and he ha* had his house painted successively yellow, red, green ami orange, but never once has he been able by threats or entreaties to induce a painter to use the brown paint for which he sighs. — X. Y. Timkk. Timely Hints. WHICH SCHOOL TBACIIKRS AND TKCHTBE5 WILL DO WB1.L To IIBBD. The "live teach of" is ever on the alert to discover any method that may" in crease the order, complate discipline and happiness of the school. Among all tho aids to bo found outside her own fitness for the work none is more valuable than t\|C atln^tivcncss of the school-room. Make tho "day homo" of tho boys and girls so pleasant that it is hard to bo absent from it, awaken a pride in their school-room ami its surroundings, and at once the -Double of "managing" fades to a shadow. , Not one hoy of a score will cut or mar a piece of furniture that he knows was really fitted for his use and is placed in ma care, if that piece of furnituro he first cleaned to its whitest, painted to its brightest, or varnished to its glossiest ; not one of a score will ' flirt" ink from his pen over a clean floor that is kept so, or Against a wall that is freshly whiten cd, tinted or painted j not one of a score will heedlessly tramp over a gen crous sixed innnilla or husk mat to the , white floor beyond and carry with hint hoot-loads of mud ; not on© of a score will bring disorder into' a room where ©vary book and article on the teacher's desk, chair, lwttla, bell nnd bench has its appointed plnco and is sure to be found exactly there. Very few soiled fares and hands and rumpled head* Will he found where water, soap, towels and glass arc in full view of th© hat hooks. Very few na

i turci can wholly resist the sweet, strange influence of flowers, pictures and the many inexpensive decorations that may be contrived by loving inge nuity ; these, with the kindly face and the regular, exact tick, tick, of a good siaed, alow moving clock on its simple shelf, exert a for^ scarcely to he estimated. And more, not one boy or girl in fifty j can willfully pain the teacher who, be- | sides displaying a constant interest in | tho regular school work, makes it a j part of her wilting duty to thus minister to the clean lines*, comfort and Aesthetic pleasuro of her pupils. All this is little trouble to one whose I own habits tend in the directiou of exactness and good taste. The noeded change* in th© sui rounding* should be made very quietly and without much help from the pupils. Never -ask their assistance at first ; ho sure they will offer aid as soon as their interest is arou* i-d by their own observation, and when I obtained in this wuy their whole heart* work through the hands. .Some will j fall in with tho spirit of the movement j at once, others, of course, move slowly, | I Hit sooner or later its influence may be I clearly marked in all. The groat value of carrying out the ' ideas briefly hinted at in this article, I both to teachers and pupils, may not be immediately apparent to those who have had no opportunity to watch their development and effects, hut we can as sure school officers that the poorest possible economy L the saving of soap, jand y * )r tlifr

■ jhu msJ M ~ jour i/*n sitting rooms. Help your teacher to this end as far us a little public money may be needed, and encourage, lier perseverance in tho good work. Give your children decent things to take care of ut school and a decent teacher to help them, and be assured they will show j their appreciation by their acts. Already inany of our teachers are laying plans for their fall and winter work, and among these let the beauty, order and neatness of the school-room be very eminent. — Chatham Cockier. Queer Crop Reports . In order to "break in" a college graduate as n reporter, the Boston Transcript sent him among the farmers with orders to prepare a report on agricultural matters. His "copy," when handed in, somewhat startled the editor, for it read as follows : The city corn crop is the solo dependence of the chiropodist. By judicious nruoina Lkc r\ltl.aLr»M« t- . The barber's crops are rather short, owing to tho extreme heat. The clip of the ooirndehaser increases with the dust, and wet weather has no dampening effect upon it. Iron is tho foremost among the staples. Staples are generally made of it. The avenge of tears sown in small boys' trousers has increased wonderfully since the beginning of vacation. Wild oats are sown broadcast. Thenappears 110 fulling off in this branch of , farming. Rye is running down fast. Clover is plentiful at the beaches, where people are living in -it. The young ladies are studying husbandry. The beet yield is fully up to the averago. This has long been looked on as a safe crop. Cnbboge heads will command a g«x»d price at election time. The yield i* inexhaustible. Th© chicken's crop is a full one. Indian corn (or corned Indian) promises well. Several loads of whisky have , boon sent oxer tho frontier. Hair raising on the plains will also he i quite lively. The hop nnd malt crops, in liquid , form, are large, hut fears are expressed j that there will be a famine before election is over. Grain dealers, however, still keep their spirits, and tho fears may he useless, » — — -r- — He opened the door cautiously, and poking his head in, in a suggestive sort of way, as if there was more to follow, inquiredz "Is this th© editorial rinktum?" The what, my friend 7" "Is this the rinktum — siuktnm, sanctum, or some such place, where the editors live 7" , "This is the editorial room ; yes, sir. cotft© hi." "No, l guess 1 won't come in. I wanted to see what a rinktum was like, that's all. Look" liko our garret only wuss. Good day. — New Haven It BO t STB t. German Rural Life. A VILLAOB SCENE — DtSPRM.tXG AMRRICAn ILLCSIOXS. A writer in September Atlantic says : — The village of Y is only one of the thousands with which th© country is literally peppered. It possesses nioMt of the qualities, good, bad, and otherwise, which they share in common, at j len*t in this province. At a distance they are picturesque, hut if one desires to preserve one's illusions one must not . come too near. They do look Veil in pictures,— rnd© cottages, filthy puddle© j and all , but then artist* cannot, and A

, | would not paint th© smells. This pai ticular village consists of a hundred o so Miiajl cottages, built of rough atom • the olu thatched with straw, tho net 1 with tilus. They are not unsightly ii I themselves, ©specially )fc summer, nest ling in orchards, hedges, and garden* hut their surrounding* are abominable Before each door is a huge dung-hil (mil Respect xu-sagen), where hens aiu swine dispute the territory, and evil smelling, groan puddles, a her© gees© duck*, and dirty children whose hair ii bleached white with exposure to tlx sun, paddle together in placid bliss froix morn till dewy eve. Ho for from trying to keep suoh necessary adjuncts of agri cultural life as dung-hills, etc., etc., out of sight, as is our American custom, , and 1 fancy th© family pretensions to : rank are gauged iu accordance with the more or Jess rapid accumulations of these manure heaps. Old men and women, beyond more active service, sit in the doorways and keep th© feathered and itnfeathered biped* within bounds. There faces are brown and wrinkled, like dried pears, their bodies bent And shrivelled, but their tongue* wag vigorously, and they 1 knit inccssently, both sexes, upon I coarse woolen sock*. There is no church at Y , the people attending service at a neighboring village. The dignitary of the place seemed to he th® schoolmaster, whose cottage was distin-. guishable from the rest by an air of «ul»erior neatness and the presence of a pretty garden full of well-carod-for flow- *«• * JU.» * * **> *•• n i )

I is* a tie In i* top, and a well-filled, drear)* old churchyard, which for barrenness would vie with any New England country bury-ing-ground. There are no shops ; not even a bakery, all purchases being made in the distant town. Momentous Questions . THE SBN'RATIONAL EXPLOITS OP THE DAT DlftLTSftKD BY A PHILOSOPHER. Proceeding© of the Detroit Lime- Kiln Club. "A nite or two ago," began the old man as the meeting opened in due form, i "a sartain member of dis club cum softly inter my house an' axed mo if I had any objockshuns to his enterin' into a walk in' match. Yesterday un odder member hinted aroun' about organism' a cull d base hall club to sweep the kentry. To-day a third member serusly proposed do idea of fastin' fur fo'ty days on dc Tanner principle. For two long hours dis afternoon, 1 sot on de .in jiuiiucivu wen n..g«, an' hime-by I got what I believe am de kirect ideah. At sartin seasons of de y'ar dc atmosphere am pregnated wid sum sort of vapor dat create* h desiali on de part of about six men out of ten to make fools of demaelves. Dis vapor am now prcvailin' aroun' dis nayhurhood at hullsalc rates, an' if it affect© de white folks, why shouldn't it have mo' or less influence on de cull'd people 7 In order to disk iver what effect it has had on dis club I now invite nil of you i who am in favor of base hall, fastin' an' walkin' matches to riz up." Not a foot ! moved. The hull was as quiet as a cow in a garden after cabbages. "Waal, den, all who am 'posed will please stvctcli up,', continued the President. Every person in the hall got his feet in j under him as soon as possible and stood I erect for a full minute. "Worry well, 1 gem'len, you kin sot down," remarked the old man a* a smile crept into the corner of each eye. "I guess I am nil right about de vapor, but 1 guess de vn- - |>or sorter slides awav from do cull'd race. Now let me ©ay to one an' all as follers: Two woekft wid a spellin' book will do any of us mo' good dan two y'tir* wid a base hall club. If you want to walk go out an' look for Work. As to .th© question of fastin', dor's a full doxen of you in hooh who'll git all you want of it afore nex' spring, onless you make your brushes fly faster dan you have for n month past . Do man trho builds up I »is frame on an empty stomach will drnp out of sight all of a sudden. It's pleasant to bo a hero, but d© man who aims his dollar a day, pays his debts, Kpeftks do truf, brings up his chil'en in de right way and wins do.resprct of his nay burs am sailin' bis hand-scow 'bout as nigh de true light as ho kin go. We will now attack do Usual order of hitnot©." Current Notes . A coolness has sprung up between night and morning. Vineland grapes are bringing from 4 to 4} cent© por pouud. Oak worms have made their ap. poaranc© in large numbers. A lady sat for lier photograph at Vile©, Ohio, on© day last week, on her 102d birthday. Sine© it has ho© n announced that Tanner will lecture, them has boon a general regret that Ills fast was aucoes*. fill. When a man and a woman are made • me, tho question "Which one 7" is a l)oth©rsom© on© until it is ©©tiled, as it soon 1*. 1

SI SEA GROVE HOUSE, •.j j CAPE MAY POINT, N. J. a, U3 o "{XJ ' ' X A *C kmding of daily first class steamers from Philadelphia. R. ft. ©tatioti 11 I "T P***ngcr trains, via. W. J, R. R. ©^joining the ground*. The locution i* ^ : dalightful, commanding an excellent view of the Ocean and Delaware lav THE j U* SIGNAL SERVICE reports the air here a, COOLER AND DRIER is Than at any other point along th© coast. The ,Best Located, most Conveniently Ap- * pointed, and most Complete furnished Hotel it ,n co©at. 7b© beach opposite ia Even and Safe, and the Bathing Urjhurpaastad. ' k'o paui© will be spared to make this one of Ibe most Comfortable and Attract0 iv© of Summer Homes. 1 Former Proprietor of the Baker House, Vineland. ma lytl • GREAT INDUCEMENTS ! TO CASH BUYERS. s r-^i WIL.SOJV & CO., ' . T s* Wilson'* Unit fa /✓» *... e a *- " II . I ^LlAilL£ j CLOTHING ! HATS AND CAPS, BOOTS AND SHOES, GENTS' FURNISHING GOODS &c., &c. O

NO GOODS MISREPRESENTED TO * MAKE SALES. Points iu Favor of dealing with WILSON 4 CO. We buy direct from Reliable Manufacturers. We buy no Shoddy Goods. *71 v ure iiruter nv ezxpervse j ur ii^ni ur n xi ere. WE GIVE ALL THESE ADVANTAGES TO OUR CUSTOMERS. WILSON & CO., MILLVILLE, N. J. mch27tf. A LARGE RE WARD, » ill be paid to ail) one in South Jersey who ean find CLOTHING i as cheap as can be bought at A. J. ST EE I. MAN'S, MILLVILLE, N. J. FORTY GOOD UNION CASSIMERE SUITS FOR MEN, - - . $ 5 00 1 EIGHTY GOOD ALL WOOL SUITS. 10 00 NINETY SUITS FOR BOYS, f! 50 to 5 00 THIRTY-NINE CHILDREN'S' SUITS, 75 CIS. to 4 50 j. hTbenezet, Cape May Court House, DEALER IN a % © Hardware, Stoves, Tinware & House Furnishing Goods. i • We keep the largest and best assorted stock in Cape May Co., and at lowest prices. — o — o ' . have on hand 150 Doz. Mason s Fruit Jars . 2 Styles , quarts and pints, at bottom prices. Ann.TJyr. ITJOB PRINTING, in the most approved manner and nt very re si son- : < able rates.

Fa I kf n Q A rl f 1 r L f « C i > t. j t. j q , £ a » i i j |1 j 9 Ladies ©ad Cfitktti, CaM BS BOUGHT FOB CA.HU at Enoch Edwards' w mmmm io W M ■ W4P cheaper than at any other place in the county. E. Edwards. CAPE MAY C. H. nddtoo. Support Tour Own PRINTER ! JOB PRINTINC 1 Of All Kinds, I '' v _ v. . - Experienced Printer, —AT TILE "Gazette" Office, • Cape May C. H.

S. P. MURPHY, atrh Maker | Jr.rlr r. Particular Attention given to Cleaning and Repairing. All order© by Moil wfll receive prompt •uiu vAi nut a«icji HUU . -J S P. MURFHV, •fvSIy. MillriUe, N. J. F. L Multori 1 Co., o^, uwA. VfhoVewkW t\v\ti "RetaA UiuVm "v\\ Harness, Saddles, Bridles, • Collars, Mliips, Robes, Blankets, &c. A FULL LINE OF SHOE MAKERS' STOCK AND FINDINGS a/trays on hand . Main St.. ©ear the Bridge, Millville, N. J. All order© by moil will receive prompt and carefril attention, rachfllyr. THE UNDERSIGNED WISHES TO • INFORM HIS nrfENDS, AND THE PUBLIC IN GENERAL, THAT IIE IS PREPARED Tt> MAKE rr LADTES a>MBlNG8 INTO PUFFS, SWITCHES, ntBBlB, ETC., ETC., AT GREATLY REDUCED RATES, AND AT SHORT NOTICE. George W. Matthew*, Bar her, CADE MAT COURT HOUSE. N, J, tnchlSly,