Herald & Lantern 9 March '83

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BETWEEN MYTH AND MORNING: WOMEN AWAKENING By Elizabeth Janrway (All of the books reviewed in this column are available at the Cape May County Library.) It was Freud. I think, who posed the famous question, “What does a women want?” Since I suspect that there are more than a few puzzled men who still don’t know the answer to that one, I’d like to suggest that they read Elizabeth Janeway's book. Between Myth and Morning: Women Awakening. Mrs. Janeway has written a calm, clear, compelling account of the woman's movement that should be understandable to all but the densest male chauvinist. There is neither bitterness or hatred in her book. Mrs. Janeway — author, critic, wife, and grandmother — has explained exactly what it is that women want. What makes this ibook special is that Mrs. Janeway offers l^er observations and explanations in a compassionate, warm, and wise voice with none of the stridency that one has come to expect from the socalled women s libbers SHE IS optimistic that the recent gains made by women will eventually lead to a saner society for us all in which relations between the sexes will be based on mutual respect and true af fection Mrs Janeway suggests that men have much to gain from the eventual liberation of woman from behind the myths and masks that have caused her to be thought of historically as either angel or devil, siren or saint. Men must perceive the individual woman behind the graven images and

Good Reading by Owen Murphy

Women’s Community Club of Cape May is sponsoring a bus trip to the Philadelphia Flower Show Wednesday, March 9th Bus leaves Acme lot 8:30

'Jews Notes from The Cape Mayi Dolly Stango

react to her honestly. Then, pie, no better and no worse

a m returning from the Civic Center at 4 p m For

Mrs. Janeway feels, more relationships can be founded on real love; and they will be much less likely to degenerate into hypocritical shams exacted by dependence and often hiding secret resentment. All of the following quotations are by the author, Elizabeth

Janeway.

How very hard it is for women to make clear that to the extent that one’s lifp is spent as only a terpbfy necessary aspectydf someone else’s Ufe, one ceases to be a^person in

oneself.

to be & estjnm i [0 worm

Self-esteem is very precious 10 women because it isn’t easy for us to come by. The old mystique not only assures as that we are inferior beings, but that we are properly inferior, sentenced by God and anatomy to subordinate

participation in life.

Women serve as repositories for ideals and life-styles which men feel they cannot themselves take on but which, they suspect, may have some

potential asefulhess

To admit one's equality with women means taking on membership in the second sex among creatures who are not quite human, who are not protected by bonds of fellow feeling, whose alliance with the powerful has been lost and. with it. their protection against use and abuse of all

sorts

If women are simply peo

Health Watch by Dr. Robert G Bcitman

LETTER FROM A PATIENT Dear Dr Beitman. I was surprised to hear from you after all these years. You asked if I would write down my feelings about having had testicular cancer. Since my letter might be in the newspaper. I would appreciate that you not reveal my name. I have several messages for men my age who may be worried about this disease. The biggest problem is fear. When I felt that little lump in my testicle I thought “Oh my God,” what can happen to mc' > “ I knew it was a sign of possi ble cancer. My initial fear was that they might have to cut things off, like my penis. That might sound funny to some people, but at my age sex means an awful lot. Heck. I’d only just started enjoying myself. DO YOl REMEMBER when my wife called to ask about the problem her “friend's husband" had’’ I was sitting right next to her at the time and loved her all the more for asking you those frank questions about parts of the body she doesn't much talk about But I was scared to be found out by a doctor 1 want my wife to know how much it means to me that I can talk a thing like this over with her. When we met, you didn't

get me to undress right away, we jast talked I could tell you were glad I had come right over I know now you were concerned because this kind of cancer can spread through the body quickly if you don't stop it fast Alter the exam you told me we would have to do tests to check if it really was cancer and to see if it had spread. Since we were at a V.A. Hospital you had to transfer me to the special department for students studying this kind of stuff. A lot of the guys on the floor never saw their first doc again, so if I didn't remember to. please accept my thanks for stopping by every so often to talk and check on my progress IT'S BEEN eight years since my operation They removed one of my testicles to stop the cancer It's a funny thing, when they told me that I had cancer, I stopped worrying about sex and started being terrified about dying. I wasn't handling things well and made my wife and family miserable and scared But that was a necessary step forme to go through. I guess, though everybody’s different Do you remember getting the Cancer Society to .;end someone over to talk to me about cancer*’ It was a guy a few years older than me He helped me get my head together when I found out he had had the same thing.

than men, where are men’s dreams to roost? Who will forgive them for their trespasses? Who will acx cept the sins they cannot accept themselves, minister to the needs that shame them, reflect their view of the world back to them unchanged and so make it real, echo their curses and confirm their

creeds?

Out of the relics of thirty thousand years, there is no image of women that we can point to and say: this was made by women alone, apart from the eyes or the direction of men. Put at its simplest, men whose experience has taught them that equality between weak and power ful doesn't exist find it intensely difficult to imagine that admitting women to equality (and what that means is unclear to them) will not somehow jeopardize their own insecure

position

A woman may know very well that she isn’t getting enough out of life, and yet fear to look facts in the face; for if she does look, if she admits her unhappiness, then she is confronted with the next logical step — to change

her life

To a vast majority of men, equality doesn't mean. “A woman is as good as I am," it means. “I'm no better than she is."

It was hard to belietfe that by the operation they could get all the cancer out My tests showed that- it hadn't spread to other parts of my body yet I was so upset over maybe dying, that this good news look a while to sink in The doc tors kept worrying about how I would react to losing my testicle, they didn’t seem to understand that I was more worried about losing my life THE FIRST TIME after the operation that my wife and I were together, it was a disaster. We had no action and I was tense and she was trying so hard. When you and I went out to lunch together, you said she and I should just cuddle each other and let each other know how happy we were to be together and alive and to leave the other part alone for awhile Well, the cuddling got a little heavy and everything worked out just right I’m a volunteer for the Cancer Society now, I realize how lucky I am, because lots of guys don't catch the cancer early, and people really do die — young guys like me I hope this letter helps You can change it around if you think it will make it better Thanks again doc You can bet I'll stop by this summer, we rent a little place in Sea Isle Oh, you'll want to meet Suzy, she’s our baby daughter! Best regards Timothy H Philadelphia, 1983 Dear Tim: You said it all! Your letter gives everyone room for extra courage. Thank you for responding. Dr. Beitman.

reservations, 884-2758. Better late than never: Our grateful thanks to Jerry Inderwies, City of Cape May Base Manager, for getting our streets cleared so quickly when the. terrific snow storm hit us So often we tend to say quickly when something isn't done. Now, we render our thanks to Jerry He listened to so many whe called, all the time he was out on the street with his team getting the work done, starting at 4 a m and all night long That's cooperation by the snow-

load!

GET WELL SOON Cape May's canine officer, Ralph Bakiev, injured in the line of duty, was hospitalized and is now limping on a cane. Our sincere good wishes to you Ida Smith, dedicated Cape May Rescue Sqpat^ Auxiliary member, m(w at Burdette Tomlin Hospital following a heat attack. All our good wishes for a speedy return home. Dot Casino of Village Green, a Mayor's Advisory Committee member who unfortunately fell on the snow recently and is at home with a broken leg Our best wishes to Dot and to her husband. Thomas, who also is at home sick

BETTY AND BILL Walker of Victorian Towers say that the Sun shine Club entertained the Crest Haven patients Mrs Allison, also of the Towers, was the pianist and all en joyed singing together It helped to make their other wise ordinary day into a gay party with refreshments and lots of fun and laughter Women’s Republican Club of Cape May is planning ahead, starting with theit- next meeting, to be a luncheon Dutch-treat affair in the afternoon instead of an evening meeting All agreed this would be a refreshing change Also planned is a bus trip to the new Burlington Mall, which is supposedly a very beautiful place with many new stores Also planned is a Card Party Watch here for all the specific dates and details as they enfold Nancy Joh nston is chairperson for these events and she promises a geat lime IT'S HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIME: to Sister Thaddeus of Our Lady Star of the Sea School, to Mary Thomas, Charlotte Keith, Herman Fohls and John Scherns. Cape May County Art ■n

league's new resident ar list manager is Jude Kurkhauser. The League is headquartered in the Carriage Hoase on the Physick Estate Her new plans for the spring include Ceramics Class/Spinning and Weaving Workshops, Children's Art/Crafts Workshops. Afternoon Study Circle i languages, aesthetics, art history) ... Poets/Writers Co-op (seek ing members) Site Exhibits (chairpcrsor need ed) Mall Clothline Exhibit (chairperson needed) Consignment Crafts Gallery (slides accepted for consideration) League Cookbook Daybook Fundraiser (chairperson need ed). Want to help 7 It's 884-8628 ' March 19, free, at the league. The Messiah Film features Bell Telephone Choir Call the League for details jog your mind^^^ nin to your library 4 »,v«

r The ' mortgage . specialists want to help you become a home owner.

We have the morev And wc- h,ive the exhernsr you can depend on Because Cape May County Savings & loan was originally established to help people like you become home owner*; That s our primary business And we re good at It. So when you re ready to turn into a home owner turd to Cape May County Swings & loan We have the money and we have the expertise

If you've got what it takes, we've got what you need.

Your security Is our security. cape May County Savings A Loan Assooal'O'' Main Office 7 N Mam St Cape May Court House 465 5186 • Drlve-m ?19 N Mam St cape Court House • Branch Offices 217-Jackson st Cape May 884 0900 5501 Atlantic Ave Wildwood 522 2447 • 1899 Bavshore Pd villas 886 2775 • 40'S Snore Pd Marmora, 598-4500 501 AsDury Ave Ocean City 598 7400