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opinion

Herald A Lantern 1 June '83

Fascinated With Secrets II is too delicious In Round One the VY«d German magazine • Stem" scored a smashing Journalist coup by publishing excerpts from the just discovered personal dairies of Adolf Hitler himself Stern had every right to'do this, having paid a reported 13 3 million dollars for th<? documents Hiatorians avidly debated the authenticity of the documents, and the press world was agog But almost before we could catch our breath, the West (ierman government announced that the diaries were fakes and crude ones at that Kditora at • Stern" have resigned, and authorities are now Conducting a criminal

investigation

This sequence of. events raises one of the oldest and deepest philosophical questions known to mankind How could we have been.so stupid’’

the SOVEREIGN STATE of AFFAIRS

DAVID BOYD

1 Hfc CONTROVERSY OVER ! HITLERS DIARIES IS REALLY SOMETHING'

YES HALF THE EXPERTS SAY THEY RE AUTHENTIC AND THE OTHER HALF SAY TFtEY RE A FORGERY

SO • WE CAN T BE SURE ABOUT ANYTHING’ /

ONLY THAT WE'VE GOT HALF AS MANY EXPERTS AS WE THOUGHT

The Peripatetic Peppers They Seemed to Be Smiling

IN KKTKOSPKCT. and even at the time of publication, the Hitler even', bore all the marks of fraud The idea that this Hitler could have spent the time necessary to write voluminous journals yet knpt the process from everyone around him is a little bit suspicious The notion that the real, private Hitler agoru/ed over acts of destruction he had to perform is even more so • ' But )ournalisLs a fid some historians hit We all bit, more or less, which tells sonjethmg about human nature We are all thoroughgoing depioeratsby now. resenting public figures who are tort distant from us. too different, tqo high minded and highfalutin We distrust the com plicated' or unknowable, and believe in down home motives and emotions We suspect that politicians are always plotting to put one over on the populace We are permanently fascinated with what is secret We think that only the secret things tell the true story POLITICIANS have of course figured this out They have gotten busy leaking parts of their so-called private . lives to -the public at large Charles. Krauthammer, writing in "The New .Republic." has'called these leaks "pseudo-private" events "ostensibly private action designed exclusively for public consumption " Yuri Andropov writing a "private" peacclovmg letter to a little girl in Maine, for example Journalists play the game like happy seals, clapping their flippers excitedly "every time they get hold of the latest Pentagon Papers And the public buys it most every time Sometimes we are disabused of ouE dlusion quickly and suffer only the teeniest embarrassment More often we are fooled for the long run. each time becoming j^-st a little less able to deal with untidy reality and left looking once again for some secret revelation to render the final answers and make

everything.clear

— Wad Street Journal

Readers' Forum Sale Real Success

To The Kddor

Our grateful thanks to everyone in the area who helped tb support the Baked Goods Booth at the Burdette Tomlin

Auxiliary Horse Show May 21-22

It took the concerted effort of many people to solicit, hake and collect, to make the wile a real success, in spile

Of the weather.

Thanks for your willingness to help Middle Township Auxiliary reach their goal in this project , SALLY LOWE, (liairman MIRIAM UPDIKE, Chairman (’ape May Court House

' iT • CAPr MfAV COUfVT Y

euMOhnl f trr« Mrrinrtdat Ttir Sraoatr < orporillon ‘ Joseph R. Zelnik

Bonnie Reina Clary L. Rudy John Dunwofkh Darrell Kopp

Hmilin M\ P.O. Kfll cm < apr May Ca«rl Hoaar, N.J (M2in

Editor

General Manager Advertising Director Special Pronwti'inS Director Publisher

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P O Ro* « t House N J 0*210 i

By CLARE CAMPBELL Do you have fun sometimes laughing dver silly things’’ I hope you do We do' When we set our six pepper plants last Spring, we never I ooknY And Listenin', The Wedding Outfit By DOROTHY FKKAS t/ookmg at her, you knew she was an "older citizen" - but you'd never guess her age at hincty-five years Listening to her, you knew that she would never get old As she added years to her age, she had. by her own ad mission increased her awareness of style, color and suitability of clothes for the occasion. However, this fact did not keep her from telling the story of her bridal outfit, and the sequel which added a bigger burst of laughter to her account of this event in her

distant past

At the age of 30. she was planning her wedding. As she had always admired dark brown satin, she asked the dressmaker to make her a suit of this material — to be lined and interfaced, and to be worn on a hot August day. TO MATCH THIS outfit, which she added "felt like « suit of armor on the suffocatingly humid day," she had ordered a big hat, with a turned-up brim held by a large brown satin bow The wedding ceremony concluded, the photographer look pictures — for posterity A few weeks later, our bride of the 1890s, again dressed in her wedding finery, and on her way to a church meeting, met the milliner who had made her hat "Do you. realize that you've put your hat on backwards’’'' she said, starting to laugh "Only then," giggled my triend, "did I learn Uint the turned up brim, with the big flat bow. should have been worn at the ij>aek of my head How my grandchildren laugh at my wedding picture, and the story ” P S. This column also got its hat on backwards — but is now reversing it We can’t have an error pretending to Ik? a fact To correct the May 4 column, let us say that the (’ape May Canal was NOT dug deep enough to accom modate any tankers, only the smaller Navy boats; later, those of the Coast Guard, which still use it The.canal is also popular with pleasure craft — a pretty sight as they pass

thought we’d be amused by them all winter and or. into this Spring All we expected was to grow some nice, big, sweet "bell" peppers to fry with tomatoes or use in salads or stuff and freeze till needed Ha' They weren’t sweet peppers, though one couldn't tell from the looks of the little guys we put in our garden Also, the nurseryman swore they were sweet ones Well, after their dainty, white flowers gave way to the fruit, we began to be suspicious They w-ere round O K. So he’d sold us the little globular sweet ones by mistake, good, but not for stuffing THEY GREW' FATTER and rounder and turned red Fine—beautiful! But I twisted one free and cautiously tasted it. It was as hot as the hinges' Still O K We'd pickle them and enjoy them as a "side dish" when eating our dried "limers" on cold days. So I carefully snipped them all off, washed them (though they appeared to be pristine >. and tucked them in to glass jars Then !• poured in the properly proportioned elixir and sealed them. Beautiful! They were as red as Teaberries and seemed to be smiling. Every time we opened that cupboard, we gloried at the sight of them BUT I’M A GEMINI. So I though I was so very enthuastic as we grew and preserved them, somehow, I. unaccountably, lost interest in them (Every Gemini will relate to that, and possibly my Editor will, too.) Anyway, along in February I said to myself: "This is silly! You grew these little hot peppers, you reveled in canning them, so why don’t you eat them)” I didn’t have a legitimate reply, though I'm convinced my birthday, June 5, is the answer. So I opened a jar I dipped in and brought forth a gleam ing, ruby jewel and sank my teeth in it Pop! Like a little firecracker it responded, and it was as hot as one. too I swallowed the tiny piece ar]d, yes, it burned me "all the way doWn and half the way back" — as we natives say Anyway. I buttered a biscuit and ate the whole little hot devil along with it I PUT THE LID back on and set the jar on the shelf on our refrigerator door There it remains; that is, a part of the time You see that’s the shelf we keep our juices on: apple, cranberry, prune, grapefruit and orange, so unless there’s a vacancy, my peppers have to come out and repose on the counter I often urge the family to try one They always say. "No, thanks " And we all laugh At present my pretty peppers are in the refrigerator because we're monentarily out of orange juice. Clare Campbell of Ocean View is a free lance writer and poet

Harness Little Kids a Croissants or a Mercedes?

By JOE ZELNIK My father wants to know why my column isn’t funny anymore That’s a low blow. He owns a grocery store Do I ask him why his large eggs are so small’’ It's tough trying to be funny without being dirty And it’s difficult for a newcomer to lx? coherent, let alone comical, when he’s suffering from Cape May County cultural shock. One minute it's empty, the next, throngs Where’d all those people come from last weekend? And why’’ THERE MUST BE something useful we can do with the tourists. I noted on Cape May beaches Saturday what appeared to be a national convention of the LKWOP (Little Kids With Orange Pails) What I wouldn't give to have made just two cents on every orange plastic pail sold in the county last weekend Each LKWOP spent the entire Saturday either scooping sand and throwing it in the ocean, or hauling water back to the sand Think what a powerful force they’d represent, if harnessed V ' . Why not add to the beach regulations a requirement that all kids/rom 6 months to six years report to the beach at 7 each morning and work for two hours hauling orange plastic pails of sand to wherever they’re needed’’ Put Fred Coldren in charge Beach erosion could be conquered THAT REMINDS ME; I haven’t had a contest in this column for weeks This week's query: Why <ioes Cape May. with a beach 08 percent the size of Stone Harbor collect a beach tag fee 50 percent higher than Stone Harbor’’

Send me your answer, but remember that the judges reserve the right to award no prize if there is no good answer Along with the tourists came an insidious, infectious disease affecting a portion of the local population and for which there is no inoculation, and against which Lou Lamanna's county Health Department, even with its peak seasonal staff, is powerless: greed. General symptoms: nervous tremors, sweaty hands, and high prices. Suddenly, for example, a skimpy breakfast that wouldn't hold a ballerina until 10 a m. costs $4.50. That can be really tough on people who like to eat out. FOB EXAMPLE, one can spend six bucks for four croissants. I figured it out and, if you have a family of six and each eats two croissants (one plain, one raspberry) a day, you can save enough money to lease a Mercedes Benz simply by giving up croissants. Think about U. I hope that won’t be taken negatively. I understand some people have to make in three months enough to live on for 12 months. Maybe there could be e local resident’s discount the same way some places have a senior citizen’s discount? I’m willing to do my share For my friends who, after ignoring me all winter, plan to visit this summer, I’ll serve a small orange juice for 30 cents, a toasted English muffin for a quarter, and a cup of coffee for 20 cents. (I’m still working on the dinner menu). And it’s only $3 a day to park in my driveway, which is a lot less than Cape May's meters. Why can't everybody be unselfish like me?