opinion

' Unconditional Love The Most Wonderful Event

(ED. NOTE Last year at this time. Gail Beitman was expecting her first baby any minute and wrote a column about it This year she writes as the mother of a one year old.) By (*AII. MILGRAM BEITMAN What weighs 20-pounds. screams like a banshee and has teeth like razor blades'' Here s another clue: What smells sweet, gives unconditional love and has seven teeth'' Baby Adam, of course! Perfect Mother Dearest Friend . r (ED. NOTE Bonne y Taylor of Stone Harbor contributes this letter from her great niece to her mother as "good, reading for all mothers as Mother's Day approaches .") Dear Mom' * I have always sought to make you proud, to prove worthy of the faith you kept without faltering I am forever grateful for each failure you shared with me - and forgot m - and each victory you celebrated for me - and remembered - on my way up the hills I always reach the summits because I believe in myself because you have always believed in me. 1 hope your perception softens my defects and rounds my edges because I wish to appear as perfect a daughter to you as you a perfect mother to me. Every year I somehow found and find I'm even closer to you than before You mean more to me than the beautiful mother that yau are. You are also the dearest friend I ever hope to find.^ho listens without judgment and trusts without foundation and supports without payment. You are everything that a true friend is. I hope your faith in me has been and continues to be justified everyday as I absorb what I learn and put more and more hills behind me. Without you. I would never, could never, have grown to be me. I love you ! ' , » Your daughter. BARBARA Our Readers Write Working Together To The Editor: On April 23. the campgrounds in Cape May County were being shut down by a proclamation issued by Commissioner Robert llughey of the New Jersey Department of Environmental Protection due to the drought situation. After a two-hour meeting of our Board of Trustees. Mid-

(More letters on next page) « die Township Mayor Michael V'oll and Section Firewarden . Richard Burnett, we were able to get the campgrounds in Cape May County excluded from the proclamation We applaud Mayor Voll and Burnett for their concern effort and hard work in bringing this about. It is an example of people working together for the good of the community. MARJORIE M OTTO Secretary/Treasurer Cape May County Campground Assn. Ocean View f HSaiV Vjaiira^ Joseph R. Zelnik Editor Bonnie Reina General Manager Gary L. Rudy Advertising Director John Dunwoody Special Promotions Director Darrell Kopp Publisher Co.p_ 1915 Ai r V '.—~l A« p>op*, e, IT iTjfTii II . IU •"•J*"* Seamen Co»p No pan Ko'ooJ me, bo 'op'odocod DEADLINES ** News & Photos Thursday Advertising Friday — 3 P.M. Classified Advertising Friday — 3 P.M. 465-5055 For News or Advertising Information pontripotlop MtMOIUm — lb. p-Ml.Wn lb. HI H 41 II 4NU I 4NTKHN -40 b. rr.pi...lblr bobi. lor obblooM.. ou.pn.i. • p.!T •fc' rt«b4 b. rrf.l ... Irtlar .- fcJfOAPE MAY fU Hfrali-IJispatcfi V £»w» Wiiwiifai Bf Tl» Smmm C mrpmttmm • I :

is Looking back on this first year of motherhood it's amazm ing society lets anyone make decisions, if they haven't r been parents. The revolution in consciousness is amazing. Suddenly you can have a perfectly adequate conversation with someone and at the same time talk to your baby All this time I thought parents were just being rude! Also, now certain things get accomplished that your s own mother couldn't get you to do: Counters are cleared of all objects, clothes and papers get put away, a system of i "everything in its place'' is adopted and the wash gets done once a day. FLEXIBILITY is this year's pass word. Perhaps contortionist is a better way of expressing it. Supermarkets are my favorite place to interact with the public. However, all of a sudden I'm invisible. Perfect strangers come up to talk to the baby, sing songs with him and even tell him his mother doesn't have him seated in the cart properly It wasn't^always this way. Unforgettable is that first trip to the food store after Adam was born He was snuggled against my abdomen in a baby pouch kangaroo style,^ . and decided to have a "milk emergency" at the check ou % line. There I was loading groceries onto the conveyor, trying to keep him hooked onto my breast, swearing "never again" under my breath. Of course the mother behind me immediately launched into the usual littany about how wonderful these young mothers are managing to handle everything these days. You wouldn't think so to hear my mother-in-law. Ours used to be a relationship over which to brag. Buddies together in art. sport and conversation. Becoming a grandparent revolutionized her into a critic. He's dressed too hot? Why don't you have him in shoes? How can you feed him'' We never bathed them that way . AAUGH! How does he survive between visits from her? HERE'S ANOTHER puzzle for you. What looked and smelled like a daycare center but wasn't? The office where I work. For the first six months Adam was in charge of seeing how much work mom would NOT get done During several board meetings, the attendees had to slip into their seats which were strategical^ placed between the crib, swing and highchair. Adam sat in the middle of the board room table one time sucking on an apple, just soaking up everyone's attention. I don't recall us voting on a thing. Picture this: mom is teaching a workshop on leadership skills to 20 women. Baby is in the next room being entertained by a neighborhood teenager All of a sudden screams akin to child abuse flood the environment We ignore it until no one can concentrate at ail. Inspection of the situation reveals a frustrated overwhelmed teenager with a teddy bear on her head, rattles in both hands, and red ball in her mouth She is in a face off with the hysterical baby. No problem, mom picks up baby and the water works stop immediately. Back in the seminar, mom pops baby onto breast, continues lecturing. Audience smiles tolerantly and mom cavalierly tries to ignore the fact she got up every two hours last night to nurse him. Her back is breaking, her concentration broken, she's worried the teenager won't

* m» f Wi Tkfoi | GAIL AND ADAM BEITMAN consent to sit again, and there's not a shadow of a (phew) doubt baby needs changing. ANOTHER GREAT MOMENT in nursing was at a men's clothes outlet in Connecticut. The milk emergency alarm sounded and so I popped myself down in the midst of a rack of clothes to nurse him in peace. All of a sudden a tall stranger parted the clothes, astonishing both of us and backed away exclaiming that he "came here to get away from this sort of thing." Many mothers worry about their babies growing enough hair It's become apparent that this may be a displacement of anxieties about their own hair loss. Being impatient, baby seems to instinctively know to puli mine out by the roots. 1 believe he's sedretely contracted for a toupe. I think the housekeeper suspects I'm a nudist. It used to be I'd dress for work after his 5:30 a.m. feeding, sleep sitting up so as not to^et wrinkled, and then go down and feed him pablum at 7:30. Adam and mom would leave for work redecorated with yogurt sleeves, orange juice front and Cheerios down the bra. The winning strategy has" turned out to be everyone eating naked, hosing down and then dressing for work. Imitafion may be the sincerest form of flattery, but it can be taken too far This kid sees me typing all the time and loves to sit and peck at my typewriter! My mom bought him a super plastic imitation, but no. his had to be authentic. Finally he inherited my typewriter and I got a computer. Not a bad deal. The best moments are the times we hang out together and explore. Suddenly the living room looms above us in a jungle of chair legs and wonderful drapies for playing hide and go seek. Stuffed animals take on personalities and boxes are morefun than the most expensive toys. THESE DAYS he doesn't just absorb attention — he gives it. I remember his puncturing the wall of my nose when we were exploring the parts of the body I'll never ( Page 63 Please s

-The Girl That Married Dear Old Dad

Go Ahead , Speak to Your Mother

By JOE ZELNIK ( Reprinted from last year) I like Mother's Day But ^never have much to do Mine died when I was 1 ] . Don't feel bad It was a long time ago and I hardly remember her You can't mourn what you don't remember In fact, when I was getting divorced, my youngest daughter was it and my biggest worry was that she wouldn't remember me. Silly. This is not going to be a melancholy column. My father was both father and mother and it worked out just fitie I feel a lot sadder hearing "Daddy's Little Girl" than "I Want a Girl Just Like the Girl That Married Dear Old Ddd." Maybe that's because the latter is a joke There's nobody around like the girl that married dear old dad. THERE ARE TWO theories about men and mothers Either a man wants a woman just like his mother, or he wants a woman just the opposite. Or he wants both That 's three, isn't it? I've known a number of people - all women, actually - who at one time or another didn't like their mothers Not having one for very long. I've never been able to understand that. At this very minute. I know a couple of ladies who aren't speaking to their mothers. I hope they reconsider. My mother was born in DuBoi^ Pa . to Yugoslav immigrants who took her back to Slovenia when she was 4 She returned at the age of 19. worked ^ongside the men in the glue factory, and married my-dad five years later I was born at home five years after that, with my dad sprinkling the anesthesia. v 1 DOUBT MY MOTHER'S picture was ever in a newspaper, so I asked my editor. Joseph R. Zelnik (no relation) if 1 could run one and he said. "What the hell do I cape? J lie's a little gruff. especiStljron Monday, which is his deadline. He s nol so bad on Tuesday. Wednesday, Thurs- . y°" can't find him.

If you did tind him. he'd probably be gruff - because he doesn t want to be found IN 1970 I WENT to Podturn. Yugoslavia, to the house where my mother lived as a child and where relatives still ive. We sat around a kitchen table and an aunt who looked like my mother dug out some letters. My interpreter a college student from Ljubljana, read one in which my mother wrote that she was lonely and wished she could come home (to Slovenia) where the young men sang at Then there w-as a letter written shortly after I was born. It said I already had two teeth and she wasn't lonely any more. My interpreter wept. So {lid I. Happy Mother's Day. A..' 'tla - ...