opinion

Working Moms The Strain Is Far Too Great

To The Kdilor: I l.i v inn had Ihe opportunity to work as a professional cari-cr woman and now as a full-time mother, I know first hand that Ineffectively perform either position requires a total commitment and just ahoul every spare ounce of energy I ran not imagine the struggle that must lie involved in trying to adequately complete Iwith tasks, so I feel par hctilarly hurdeneil to comment on the plight of the mothers who are working outside of the home They ap |iear to In- the destructive product of humanism and their families have liecnme the unfortunate pawns liiiniaiiism has subtly forced mothers into the work I or re by convincing women Hint an outside career is essential to ac hieving self esteem, by shrewdly undermin ing the high calling of motherhood, and by focusing on | material goods as the measure of happiness and success. , I IOU' HAS TIIE EAMII.V unit fared Mom's working out side of the home'' Satisfying all of Ihe needs of a family is a lull tune responsibility requiring endless energy, in- | gemot y. and creativity ; Af ter an exhaust ing eight hours at Ihe office, how can | we c\|m*cI Morn to cheerfully execute all of the tedious

household duties and then spend eight hours of "quality" time with the children Also realizing that no matter how hard she works outside the home, any failure to accomplish the household duties is still viewed as a negative reflection on an incompetent wife. Furthermore, even the "modern." helpful husband still resents doing "women's work" and the astounding rise in divorce and wife battering is a peculiar way of expressing gratitude for their wives' efforts outside of the home. TIIK CHILDREN of the working mothers do not seem to be doing much better. Psychologists classify the preschool years as the formative years since it is during this precious time that a child's personality, self-esteem, and morality are established. Hut while Mom's out working, someone else is molding children's minds. Mothering involves a total commitment to take an active part in shaping our children into secure, independent individuals. This includes being there to see their first steps, hearing their first words, kissing away their bumps and bruises, and being there to smother them with an endless supply of love, guidance, and encouragement. (Page 55 Please)

We All Do What We Have To

To The Kditor I have lieen following the "Working Mother" controversy with interest While it appears both mothers have some gixxl points. I can't help siding with the working mother Although there is no right or wrong side, we all do what we have to. First. Iiecause I too, am now a working mother. I have to work . it is a very lucky mother Unlay who does not have to work to supplement her husband's income One income today can almost provide food, shelter and clothing for The Child Sacrifices To The Kditor Since I am Ihe one who initiated this whole discussion on day care « July 24. "Day Care Benefits Adult. Not Child" I. I teel coni|M'lied to make a few more statements I truly regret that it lias degenerated into a debate over who is the iH'lter. nicer, healthier, wiser, more productive |Narson the mother working outside the home or the full tune, traditional mother This was not my intention, and it only proves how defensive and ambiguous the women of the "80s have l>een forced to become Oil the one hand, as women and men have strived for equality outside Ihe home, parenthood has Itecome a dishonored profession for either parent Women who have made the conscious decision to remain home with their children are perceived by society as lazy, unintelligent, unmotivated individuals and they get no respect On the other hand, women who would lie the most capable of parents are choosing other priorities not always out of financial necessity, but rather a healthy need tor respect from our society However, in choosing outside careers over full-time parenting, these women suffer the |Nillgs of guilt lor "abandoning their children Itl'T IN MY OltlGINAI. letter. 1 not only denounced day care from Ihe point of view of the child ia child in day i Page 55 Please) (fflttalh -V LaNTERnI r.vvry Wlfcnlo By tin (Wmvav* ChwhIIw POImIN Cu» WwCwb Now, U.J. Ittll Joseph K. Zclnik Editor Bonnie Reina General Manager Gary L. Rudy Advertising I hrcotor John Dunwoodv Special Promotions I hrector Darrcll Kopp Publisher W.o.. Co.p l«t» <U ..»•». .......a All ..gN. '... .MwMo)*., pU*. »• f-r—'' *• s*...... I »P N.i port kp.a*l -u. I«.w.pd4^ DEADLINES News & Photos Thursday Advertising Friday — 3 P.M. Classified Advertising Friday — 3 P.M. 465-5055 For News or Advertising Information Yearly Subscription $40.00 Six Month Subscription $20.00 Call 465-5055 Heralii~ni6patrti NMM Mn *.<■■■ i By TB. >...»■ / PJQ. B- OB H 4. •>»»•

one's family, but today there is so much more needed to keep a family Dental, health care and hospitalization is not considered any of the above But if the working father is not fortunate enough to have this benefit package provided by his employer, the cost of this is substantial Many mothers go to work just to provide health, home, auto and life insurance to protect the family from an unforeseen accident. SECOND. I AGREE with the working mother, because even with two salaries there is very little extra money left at the end of the month to lavish foolish frivolities on our children To be able to live on one salary, only tells me that salary must lie sizable. I think the program Lower Township Schools have initiated is an idea whose time has come Whether we think mothers should work or not is not the problem. The latchkey child is a problem that must be dealt with now. it will not go away, the laiwer Township School is providing a solution, like it or not They are bringing this area into the Wis No mother wants her child left alone, be it two hours or two minutes If this program helps one child who is in need, then it is worth it. We can examine every program in existence and find those who are taking advantage who do not need it Judging by the wage guide in this area I doubt there are too many children in this program who do not fit the criteria the non-working mom has established ( Page 55 Please >

m| *YOL> CAM BUT VOO CAfcjT MlOC !

5 Short Lives To The Editor: Brownie is gone. Scarry is gone, the Twins are gone, and Jumpy is gone. In their place is Lost. Brownie was the oldest and bravest of the five squirrels that kept us amused by their antics in our back yard. Their presence required large quantities of striped sunflower seed rushed out to their private table under the maple trees, each squirrel with his own table After numerous attempts, they learned to come to the kitchen door step to be fed. Brownie was the smartest. He learned where the seed was stored and helped himself by chewing a hole in the bag when the garage door was open. Never brash. Brownie was smooth and confident When I was working in the garage and he came in. I would say "Ok let's go" and he would go outside and wait for me, following me over to the table, to get his treat. Several years ago one squirrel became tame enough to sit on my wife's lap and eat out of her hand, but she soon disappeared. Many other squirrels have given us pleasure over the years, but they all seemed to have a short life. While we miss the five squirrels, we still have Lost to watch when he daily works his way through our yard. RONALD L OBERHOLTZER North Cape May — Letters Welcome \ Ihe Herald, I .intern and Dispatch welcome let tors to the editor on matters of public interest Onginals. not copies are requested Writers must sign name address and phone number. —

— 'They'll Flush Anyway So, Rod, Ah, How Yo Doin?

By JOE ZFI.NIK I called Rodney Downs of Rod's Seafood last Thursday to ask him if he sold dirty candy Not dirty candy, hut. you know, obscene candy, you know, chocolate shaped like, you know, things that weren't obscene when Renior painted em Not exactly Watergate, huh0 I know readers think journalists are out there catching crooks and uncovering corruption and all that But I had a letter to the editor from someone attacking not obscene chocolates, not Rodney Downs, but Peggie Bieberbach. who is a laiwer Township Council candidate who last year shared the Democratic ticket for freeholder 1 with Downs IF TIIE LOGIC of that loses you. you ought to read some , of the anti-Rachel Sloan arguments some time Anyway, because the editor feels some responsibility for the factual accuracy of letters, there I was. asking Rodney Downs a rather personal question. Instead of hanging up. Downs chuckled a bit and confessed, yes. he did sell chocolates shaped like certain parts of the anatomy He also volunteered that they were "not near as bad as you see on Showtime or Prism." he keeps them high on the shelf so kids can't see them, they have a real good profit margin, and mostly women buy them After all that, trouble, incidentally, the letter writer changed his mind and took it hack THERE'S NO DENYING this is a bizarre profession The other day 1 picked up a copy ot the New York Daily News because one of my former editors. Gil Spencer, is its editor And I noted that the editorial page editor is Michael Pakenham Pakenham used to In- on the editorial board of the Philadelphia Inquirer An editorial board is a bunch of people who get together once a day and decide what J weighty issues they'll discuss on Ihe editorial page, and then divide the topics among themselves.

Pakenham also wrote a wine column for the Inquirer and probably pulled down about $40,000 a year Now. in New York, he's got to be making $60,000. and maybe a lot more So I looked at the Daily News editorials: one on the Achille l-iuro terrorists, one on Leon Klinghoffer. and the last on saving water WINE EXPERT Michael Pakenham advised New York Daily News readers to take shorter showers and flush toilets less frequently Honest PLEASE DON'T THINK I'm making fun of Michael Pakenham But seeing that "flush toilets less" editorial brought a part of my life back to me I wrote editorials for a living for a dozen years. That doesn't county another half-dozen years when I worked for weekly papers aqd also wrote editorials, hut just as a tiny part of the overall job. A one-man editorial page, which is what I was for most of those dozen years, writes 12-18 editorials a week At a more typical operation, where there could be four to six writers, each might produce one a day I'll concede this is an awful lot easier than shrimping or tree trimming or waiting on tables. But let me assure you. one can get awfully tired of advising people. THERE WILL BE DAY'S when even the best run out of topics about which they feel expert enough, or concerned enough, to counsel everybody else. There will be days when one will rewrite a water conservation news release and urge people to "flush toilets less frequently." The thing is. the editorial writer knows, deep in his heart, that the reader will continue to flush as much as he damn well pleases This newspaper almost never presents editorials, which is one of the nice things about the job We do not have an editorial page "hole" to fill. On the rare occasion when we offer an editorial, it will be because we feel the topic is important and because we feel we have something provocative to say about it. That means I won't have to advise you to flush less. And I'll have more time to stay abreast of important things, like obscene chocolates.