opinion

Next Time, We May Not Be So Lucky Of The New Jersey Conservation Foundation Gloria came and went in a hurry, and I'm glad she did. I'm also glad she stayed just to the east of this salte we're in. because a hurricane's toughest punch is its right crass, meaning that a direct hit on the coast would have brought us the Irolul intensity of the counterclockwise circulating winds. Most of the Garden State has forgotten Hurricane Gloria by now. but you can bet she will Ik- remembered for a long time in Long Island. Connecticut and Cape Cod. where those winds delivered their major blows And we can thank our lucky stars that high tide was not happening when Gloria went past New Jersey. That would have made our statistics a lot more grim' So there we were, lucky again, despite the unwise continuing damages to the dunes which protect our harrier islands, the defeases of our bay and shorefront communities. Building houses were dunes once were on barrier islands is a practice for which Mother Nature will punish as with another hurricane one of these days. Many folks have an uncontrollable urge to live as close to the sea as possible. Thus'more and more people are living. at least part-time, at lower elevations than ever before Jast try to imagine the result one of these days when a hundred-plus-mile-per-hour hurricane hits at just the right angle, at high tide, with that extra dozen feet of tide caused by wind action, and surmounted by '40-foot waves. Nevertheless we are hearing from advocates of building more seawalls and stronger shorefront protection structures The latest idea seems to be an unbelievably expensive artificial barrier island of stone, just offshore This would predictably make a bay where the surf now is. and would probably soon have its own lieach on the seaward side. But no matter what gels built, the ocean and the hur rieanes will win Some sister of Gloria's will re/.one our barrier islands once and for all. without the nicety of a public hearing If it wouldn't cost so much in lives and money, it would ix> laughable Houses do not Ix-long in a ocean, hut that 's where they will lie someday What to do"' Well, for starters, we can prevent further encroachment on existing dune systems, and we can plan not to rebuild so close to the water when nature practices urban renewal This would also increase the recreational land available to the public, since there is precious little undeveloped shoreline in public ownership now We can also put more teeth in the Hood insurance program. to end the current shore resident's response. So it gets washed away. I'll just rebuild " Rebuild now means using public money which all of us have to fork over lor the food insurance program, although most of as cannot live at the shore laical regulations supposedly prohibit further misase of land Alien flood insurance is offered, but I have not seen much til the way of preventive medicine' Mostly, what I see is the loss of public marina space for mid-rise condominiums, higher and higher density hous ing. closer and closer to the water's edge Shore protect lon'moncy. for which we all also pay. is supposed to result in tough ordinances to keep people away from danger I hope it does, for the continual pour ing of money into the ocean should have some lasting result The stale probablv should have control over small « Page :.1 I Mease" p,.L|f -I * C _ 111 J 1 . . -Joseph R. Zclnik Editor Bonnie Reina General Manager Gary L. Rudy Advertising Director John Dunwoody Special Promotions Director Parrel! Kopp Publisher " DEADLINES r News & Photos ThursdayAdvertising Friday — 3 P.M. Classified Advertising Friday — 3 P.M. • 465-5055 For News or Advertising Information Mail Subscription: Yearly, $40; Six Month. $20 Call 465-5055 For News, Advertising or Subscription Information SCAPE MAY |lf Cape CHy Edition of the Cape Ma> County Herald U W"**' E«wry WVdn»adaV By thm SoapaM Orporplion PO Bo. 4M Cop. *.v Coort How. MJ MtlB M ^sc^— — —

I^HV^ W.% "rue ►Je*T WUA.CXIKJ& Our Readers Write Political Ads Pollute Air, Mean Nothing To The Editor: I am an unofficial spokesman for the thousands of victims of air pollution The pollution I protest is the countless and seemingly endless radio and television plugs for political office seekers. This year we have been inundated with pre-election charges, promises, and groundless statements to such a degree as to render them meaningless As an example of how far this silly practice has gone, we have U.S. Senators and Congressmen endorsing local candidates - leading us to believe that they and the endorsees are intimately acquainted It seems that federal office holders have enough to do without using valuable time learning about the quality of local political hopefuls, who they probably do not know from Adam WILLIAM J LOWE Court House — Letters Welcome -s I he Herald, lantern and Dispatih welcome let lers to the editor on matters ot public interest < Jngmals not copies, are requested. Writers must sign name address and phone" number c . J)

Lookin' and Listenin' They Hate My Carpet By DOROTHEA F. COOPER That woman on TV who sniffs deeply and says "I love my qarpet!" is probably the only one in her family who does— except her wimpy son who should spend more time making rings on the bath-tub iastead of on the collar. Once, many years ago. we splurged on carpet gloriouslycolored. richly reminiscent of early Turkish and late gothic. its variegation and pattern strategically designed to cover a multitude of sins. And it did! There were the blops of many a libation improperly poured; memories of barfing sma'll children who had been too many times on boardwalk ferris wheel, or - carousel, or roller coaster: a pet cat who for one brief incontinent moment miscalculated the need for outdoors: a visiting dog whose owners, engrossed in conversation and conviviality, disregarded his pleas for the mercies of our backyard: a few places by the sofa worn smooth by television watchers: marks of ball point pens indelibly doing their thing when dropped — often ; the constant passage of time and the human equation, wearing its golden age in tarnished dignity. Years later (many! ) we regretfully decided to send this faithful, gay. friendly floor covering to its retirement. After much consultation and thought, we purchased its replacement— a softly-sculptured, low-key deeply-piled carpet named "Arabian Moonlight". (The choice of color was mine, which I occasionally regret. ) When you come through the front door of our enormoas home and step inside, you are halfway through the living room and on your way to the dinette-kitchen. There is no entrance hallway tastefully decorated with sculptures and exotic plants THIS IS IT! And anything attached to entering feet makes its presence known immediately. But such is the power of riches! In a short time I have developed "WIFE YOUR FEET!" into a nagging litany. On all sides I hear bitter protests: we can't relax any more No eating sandwiches in the living room, crumbs may get on the rug What harm can a partly wet bathing suit do! Why do we have to come in by the back door. And numerous other complaints. A stormy day sets acidic liquids churning* in my stomach. My husband says I have become a pain in the aspidistra (we've had one in a corner of the living room for years. ) We had to buy another vacuum cleaner because the old one just couldn't charge through the new depths and swirls, it is powerful but encourages hernial attacks as it plows on its way with amain. At our back door entrance there is a foot scraper, and inside two small mats as one approaches t^Karpeted steps But does that satisfy the "Craig's WifSR^ me? "WIPE YOUR FEET' " sails through the air t<?lhe disgust of someone who has been working like a beaver in the back yard, trying to encourage reluctant pygmy vegetables to become as large and strong and beautiful as those of our next door neighbor's. With our old trusty carpet you could walk confidently • Page 51 Please"

-SSOBB Will Understand Isolated, Angry, and Bored This will be Short. Bv JOE ZELN1K My body reclines nearly flat. A portable typewriter sits on my stomach. My neck is arched so my eyes can see what my fingers type. I look like an upside-down turtle All this will be understood by a loosely-knit, worldwide fraternity that, in terms of empathy is closer lhan La Cosa Nostra, the Jesuits, or couples who have observed their golden wedding anniversaries This is SSOBB. the Society of Sufferers of Bad Backs

If anyone can think of something funny to say about a bad back, send us your resume. We may be able to offer you a writing job Since neither my telephone nor my television reaches my bedroom. I have been as isolated, and in as good a mood, as one on Death Row. I am as angry with my back for failing me as I would be if my car malfunctioned But my Olds Delta knows better. 1 One miss, one sputter and it knows it would be sold to a used car dealer in Chester. Pa How can I threaten my I back0 VOL' MAY WONDER, as do I. what caused this latest ! flare up Was it dancing the night away with my wife at the Golden Inn (see photo »° Surely it was nothing I lifted since 1 am notorious for refusing to lift anything heavier than a pencil. What have I learned from this? That while you normal people are away from home all I day. working, playing, learning, whatever, the telephone j rings an average of five times and the caller hangs up I after six rings. One becomes brain-sogged and spy -saturated after six J consecutive espionage novels One can lose seven pounds < how much can you eat lying ' down? ' and still have the same spare tire. A person never realizes how boring he is until he's got no one but himself to talk to eight hours a day.

The Zelniks? — Pre-Bad Back Attack