Herald - lantern - Dispatch 21 May '86 83

Other Mothers What Would We Do Without Them? By SKIP GLADUE Mothers Day '86 will be remembered for a 36-hour odyssey to the place where I grew up in upstate New York to attend the funeral of my OTHER MOTHER Some things never change like the kathump, kathump sound the car tires make on the New York Thruway There was a lot of time for reflection on the eight-hour journey as I thought about my other mother, Aunt Theresa Warren, and the other mothers of our children, and the important part they have played in our lives. MY OTHER MOTHER was a young woman when she was widowed with two very young children. There was no welfare or ADC back then. She took in laundry, a dignified position for widows in those days. Long after she remarried, she continued to wash and iron for one elderly gentleman who "had no one to do it for him." She knew the formulas for mustard plasters, flax-seed poultices and the like and would mix up a little somthing if someone was feeling poorly. In the 17th century she would have been banned as a witch. And her fingers worked their magic as she raised the most magnificent African violets. In one home she had an entire room in the basement with special lighting devoted to her "friends." "You have to talk to them Gertrude, if you want them to grow," she would tell me over and over as she would give me yet one more plant to nuture, even though I always failed. When my parents went away, or my mother was in the hospital, I packed a little overnight bag and went to stay with my other mother who lived just three blocks away. HER HOME WAS always immaculate, in "ell off the floor condition" as would tell her German heritage, and she was such a good cook. . rich chocolate cake with fudge icing, "comeback sauce" and a special cole slawdressing that has been passed down from generation to generation. I guess what I remember most about her was her love for children, her own two, her nine grandchildren and their children, and all her nieces and nephews. They were there on Mothers Day and the day after to say goodbye to her. She would have liked to have been there for the collation after the funeral. She would have brought the baked beans. I am writing this because next Monday is Memorial Day. . and 1 want to remember the OTHER MOTHERS who are still living. . the Kay Learys, the Loretta Kiernans, the Rita Brunos. the Kay Kunkels, the Doris Langells; you fill in the blank. Where would we be without them? ? r

, , ...< iX. . j Joyride III dk By Libby Demp Forrest \J I (ED. NOTE: Forrest is recuperating from surgery. I This column, one of her favorites, appeared last October. I If she doesn't return to work soon, this valuable space I could be made available to a healthier writer. ) Kids don't come cheap. A while ago I read an article that listed the costs of rais- I ing a kid, starting with how much it costs to have a baby I today. I'm glad I got in under the wire. From what I read, there are monitoring devices that I evaluate a baby long before it is born. When No. 2 was in utero, my own built-in sounding I device told me this kid was going to cost. It was a perfectly wonderful pregnancy without any pro- I blems, but I could tell No. 2 wouldn't be wearing No. l's I hand-me-downs. EVERY BOOK on childbirth that I read at that time I said each subsequent child in a family would be born I larger than the earlier one. Of course. No. 2 broke tradition. No. l's bunting hung all I around him, and I had to go out and get a smaller size I had always read that nursing was the preferred way of I feeding a child, and I rejoiced there would be no getting up I in the middle of the night to warm bottles for No. 2. But the pediatrician thought No. 2 would do better on a I special soybean formula, so right there and then. No. 2 I was costing. NO. i HAD STARTED walking around a year of age, but I No. 2 started stepping out at seven months, thereby I costing money for restraints. No. 2 was a jumper. He wore out one baby carriage after I another, then one stroller after another because he I jumped up and down in them as if they were tumbling I mats. The beautiful hand carved wooden blocks made in Ken- I tucky that No. 1 had played with were no good for No. 2. I No. 1 had liked to build bridges and towers with the blocks. I but No. 2 liked to throw them. The wooden blocks were put I up in the attic, and No. 2 got a set of brightly colored I plastic blocks. More money. NO. l HAD LIKED fairy tales and Mother Goose. No. 2 I did not. He liked how-to books. How to take apart I playpens. How to take apart furniture. How to take apart I tricycles. When No. 2 went off to kindergarten and I handed him I the same little lunchbox No. 1 had carried, he left it behind I at home. It embarrassed him.

Rx

Dear Dr. Beitman: Doctors, family and friends don't take my headaches seriously. Everyone treats me terribly when I am in pain, as though I was doing it to get attention, or because they think I am trying to get out of work. The doctor listens to my complaints and suggests asprin or an asprin substitute. The thing is that these aren't like the occasional headaches I got when I was younger. Those feel like a band of tightness around my head. These are piercing headaches, the pain seems to come from behind my right eye. I become flushed and sweat, my eyes may tear. I am so scared that I might have a brain tumor, what should I do? , «-B.R., Sea Isle

Health Watch by Dr Robert C Beitman

Dear B.R. When headaches get tq the point of affecting your life, as you have described, it's time to ask your physician if a "workup" of your symptoms is in order. This workup might include a very detailed history, a complete physical and neurologic examination, skull X-rays, a brain study called an "electroencephalogram, antf in some cases a CT scan or even some additional special radiologic studies. The most helpful history will include the length of time the headaches have been occurring, their location, intensity, frequency, quality, how long they last.

what time of day they occur, and whether there are others in your family who've had similar headaches. WE WANT to know if there are any associated symptoms, like confusion, blurring of vision, the seeing of colors or hallucinations or "visions". Also report things like the tearing of your eyes and flushing of your face. The doctor needs to get some insight into your personality. family dynamics and work life. Your past medical and surgical history is important. With women a detailed look at their menstrual history can be crucial. EXTRA ATTENTION will be paid during the physical to your head, spine, cranial nerves, sensory and motor functions. Your doctor might ask simple. trivial seeming questions that are actually specially designed to probe for evidence of stroke or tumor. There are several major kinds of headaches and each has very different treatments. There is a lot of research going on about headaches and there are a lot of questions still unanswered. However, we can help many headache suffers, although not all. Thank you for your question. For the next several weeks Health Watch will

focus upon the different I types of headaches. Dr. Beitman is president I of the Cape May County I Unit of the American I Cancer Society, of which I this column is a public I education project. Address I letters to the doctor, to Dr. I Robert Beitman. 108 N. I Main St.. Cape May Court I House. 08210. AF Medal For O'Brien WILDWOOD CREST - Air Forece Senior Master Sgt. Dennis J. O'Brien, son of Frances M. O'Brien of 206 E. Monterey Rd., has been decorated with the Meritorious Service Medal at Mather Air Force Base, Calif. The Meritorious Service Medal is awarded j specifically for outstanding j non-combat meritorious achievement or service to the United States. O'Brien is a defensive serial gunner superintendent with the 320th Bombardment Wing. One Screening CAPE MAY - The last week of May, blood pressure screening will be held*! 12:30 to 2:30 p.m., Tuesday, May 27 only. Regular hours will resume in June.

Our Readers Write Still Fears DYFS To The Editor : \\e've had problems with the state Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS) since October 1976 and it seems to get worse and worse every day. My mother had just- gotten her children back from DYFS, but they still have her youngest daughter She is afraid she will never get her daughter, Dana Marie Hand, 6. DYFS is trying to take her parental rights away from her. 1 am writing for the sake of my family. My mother and I still fear DYFS because they still have Dana Marie Hand. CAROL LYNN TOZER Rio Grande

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