Wit and Humor

Well Named ‘What do you call your baby," she cd the grlnnlnK young mother, ft eather-strips,” replied the parent. Weather-strips," exclaimed the •••What's the idea, Mandy." done named her Weathah pa, cause she kept her papa out the draft."—Exchange.

He Might Have Had

1 heard as how you’ve been ng with Rob Smith? •—Yes. Ho said my sister was -eyed. 1—But you ain't got a sister. I know that. It was the prlnof the thing that upset me.

Fed Up On Tasuranre ould I interest you in accident in- ? today?" asked the agent, as reproached the farmer. should say not,” replied the er. ut 1 can show you the brat acci policy ever written," insisted the don’t care what you can show replied the ilanner. “I want n' more to do with accident in--ce. 1 had an accident insurance y last year and a mule kicked me broke my leg. And the dum. n’s company wouldn’t pay me They said it wasn't an acclbecause the mule kicked me on Cincinnati Enquirer.

Gosh, Who’d A Thought? I know a party across the tracks who’s makln' a pretty good article of cider with a clothes wringer.—Marce!lus Observer. Saw Trouble Ahead The government official of the county district who had charge of that part of the census which decls with farm products, had instructed the old farmer to collect his stock of every description and have them branded. s'pose that’s all right," sighed the farmer dolefully, ’’but, honest, mister, 1 b'Heve Im going to have one hell of a time with them bees."—Exchange.

man’s Valuable Dog a minister delivered a sermon of ten minutes’ duration, a most _ al thing for him. Upon the con ~n of hia remarks he added: regret to inform you. brethren, my dog. who appears to be pecny fond of paper, this morning ate portion of my sennor that 1 have delivered. Let us prav." "er the service the clergyman was at the door by a man who. as a , attended divine service in anr parish. Shaking the good man e hand he s-ld: -tor, I should like to know er that dog of yours has any If so I want to get one to give minister."—Exchange.

Bad Day For Losses smah boy came hurriedly down treet, and halted breathlessly In of a stranger going in the same 'ion. ivo you lost half a crownte with his hand In his pocket. *, yes. 1 believe 1 have!" said the ger feeling in his pockets. “Have ound one?" », no,' said the small boy. ’T to see how many have been lost Yours makes fifty-four."— an Tit-Bits.

ad Something Coming i are charged with selling aduled milk." said the Judge, our Honor, I plead not guilty.” t the testimony shows that It Is r cent water." -en It must be high-grade milk,' ed the plaintiff. "If your Honor look up the word ’milk' in your nary you will find that it confrom 80 to 90 per cent water. I d have sold it for cream."—SueM&gaslne.

Quite Another Man “Who was Nero. Bill?" asked one student of another. "Wasn't he the chap who was always cold?" "No,” said the wise student, "that was Zero—another guy altogether.”— Lehigh Burr.

Method In His Madness Warden— ell. Mr. Filer. I’m pleased to see that you are keeping un your philanthropic work of visiting our notorious housebreaker. Bill Smikes." Mr. Flier—’’Philanthropic nothing! He is giving - lessons on how to get Into the house at night without wak ng my wife.”—Judge.

Practically every industry In Amer-i-jica is affected, some seriously, by the

precedents Immigration figures were cancellation of contracts, according to constantly proclaiming it was a gnat final analysis of the country-wide in disappointment to find th--1911 census vertigation Just completed by the gave a popuUuon of only 7.204.838. | United States Chamber of Commerce. Those who predict 9 000.000 for the Cancellations were particularly no.1921 census ere likely to get a similar ab le in goods of interest to women, shock. We will be lucky to have * So many orders for silks were abio-

gated that manufacturers have organ-

The fact is that Canada may hav toed a bureau which adjudicates all learned to attract population, but l jclalms. Makers of hosiery and underlearacd how to keep it fror wear express a determination to degolng over to the Intted States . An i mand formal contracts with all orders, all governments have persistently coa-jrhey also are organiring a bureau to coaled the facts by giving immigrati m , handle the ailuatlon. Corset dealers figures yearly and monthly, but t . found themselves overstocked and glecting to give emigration figure# iC UHM r credits restricted.

I Dealers In men's clothing. It would

No one expected Canada to mak- appear suddenly became obsess"! with nuch population during the war peritK’ the 'bought that the public would not European immigration was all cm of- buy at prevailing prices, and a rush to Sixty thousand Canadians went <» cancel orders followed, overseas graves, a certain number •. The extraordinary cancellation of of soldiers, former Britishers, remainc 1 orde rs for baby carriages was due to overseas, and since the war there ha a number of conditions, among them been a considerable movement to Eu ,he shortage of domestic help. In a rope to look up friends after th» [number of States the birth rate destorm and perhaps to Invest wa^ uti j '•lined, and there were fewer babies ings. But the Immigration bt-j-art--Me in carriages. During the pet mem’s figures coming out month after |iod of , ow adduction, furniture dealmonth showed, as more than offsetUng org were a iarmed and placed big all these things, a considerable move- jorders. Housing conditions became ment into Canada from the United ! such that retail sales were exceedingstates. Even In 1919. the year of the,, y limited A rush to cancel orders low ebb in immigration, 40,715 persons followed. The Industry contemplated came from the United States to Can-j g(e p 8 to place restrictions on orders And nearly everyone thought land to begin a campaign on edneation

that, even for the war period Canada’s [that will insure more equitable treat-

population increase on the right aide. ^ men t 0 f ,h e manufacturers. The Grain Growers’ Guide, organ of j i n one division of the lumber indus-

tbe Western Agrrarian movement, j tr y a i ot1e cancellations have amounted

No Great Harm Mistress—Mercy, Hilda! You mustn’t clean the plates with your handkerchief! Hilda—Oh. that’s all right, ma’am; It’s only a dirty one.

Quite Necessary

"It's got so these days that a man can hardly wed unless he can show the girl two licenses.’’ “Two licenses?" “Yes, marriage and automobile."

Land All Patched

For Sale—One acre of land In good repair.—Mercerville. la., Banner.

Taking No Chances

’A feller was In my place yesterday.’ related Zeke Yav y. “trying to gt t me to put a water system into my house; have a bath tub and all such." "Well, them that wants bath tubs ere plumb welcome, to have ’em," replied Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge. Ark. "Bui not me! Think of the fix you'd be ketebed In If you was alone on the place, and 'he house was struck by lightning while you was in that there infernal bath tub."—Kansas City Star.

Working A System ■’.—’’I think Ethel will make a wife. 1 have been calling on her "x months now and nearly always found her darning her V titer’s —’’That caught me, too. until out that it was the came sock." >n Tmnscrip. i Good Easy Job n easy Job would suit me, boss,” rked the applicant. r ell, how about winding the clocks week?" might make that do. though I’d r the Job of tearing off the leaves ^ calendars once a month." Ex-

A Game of Perhaps

The other day a lady and her daughter, who live in a service flat in town, -eceived by post two stalls for a theater, an accompanying note running: Perhaps you will guess from whom these come. Hope you wilt have a pleasant evening.” They used the stalls, enjoying the play extremely, am!, returning home, fdiind the' ransacked by burglars. Ai them was another note: “Perh.ips you guess now who sent the tickets."

Lucky? *, It’s Mike that’s the lucky •s tljat?" •. he just took out an insurance for fKLOoO and the very next tell off ~me bridge - and go» J »- the river —American LeMkly.

The Right Time

The new chaplain very much wanted to amuse as well as insiruct his men and. accordingly, on one occasion, arranged for an illustrated lecture on Bible scenes and Incidents. One seaman who possessed a phonograph was detailed to discourse appropriate music between pictures. The first of these represented Adam and Eve In the Garden of Eden. The sailor cudgled his brainy and ran through his list, but he could find no music exactly appropriate to the picture. "Pleas play up." whispered tfie chaplain. Then an Inspiration came to the seaman and. to the consu-reation of the chaplain and the delight ol the audience, the phonograph ground out. “There’s only one girl in this world for me."—Harper’s Magazine.

Canada Keeps Losing Population to U. S.

Toronto—Canada's census figures have always been disappointing Canadians are not an unproUflc race, and when in the decade 1901 to 1911 un-

Rush to Cancel Orders Felt By All Industiies

There was a continuous rainfall during the past month which Improved the condition of all crops but seriously delayed farm work and developed some rot in potatoes, peaches and to-

with figures from Washington to back it up, has been revealing the other side of the shield. Instead of a modest gain the figures for the last five years show that Canada has actually suffered a net loss .o the United States of not less than 333.931 persons. That is to say. immigrants to Canada from the United States between March 31. 1914. and March 31. 1919, numbered 270,135, while the number of persons shown by the United States records as leaving Canail i for permanent residences In the United States between June 30, 1914, and June 30. 1919. totalled

604,605.

Canada's total Immigration from all countries. Including Great Britain and the United Stales, In the five-year period was 405.476. so ttiat the number of persons leaving Canada for the States was 198,585 in excess of the total Immigration. . It l? fairly safe to assume that In addition to Canada's losses in the war this country has lost 250.000 people by the excess of emigration over immigration in the five-year corresponding approximately to the ww and demobilization period. Natural Increase will compensate for this loss. This drag to the United States has always been Canada’s bane. Even In the boom year, when 116,377 personr came from the United States to Canada no less than 94,496 went from Canada to the United States, leaving a net gain to Canada of less than 22.000. Tens of thousands of immigrants grants ha* e come to Canada from Europe and have subsequently moved south, but the great loss to the country has been of the native born Canadians, who find the allurerneuts of rich prizes to be had in the United Slates too strong for their innate love of native land. But immigration to Canada Is revivg. For the year ending March 21, 1920, it reached a total of 120.000. approximately half British and half American. Almost every ship that docks or train that crosses the border is bringing a complement of new citizens that promise to be the vaneguard of a new wave of Immigration greater than an} - that came before.

77,000.000 feet, or over 3,500 cars, since January. They were largely without any r.-ason that would be vali 1

in law.

Automobile manufacturers were the principal offenders in the pressed metal trade. As their products are made special patterns or .designs, contracts provide that the buyer must pa} - damages if he refuses to take ordered goods.

The Retort Discourteous

Years ago Thomas A. Edison used to

try to Instill the rudiments of science Into the head of his young son and never overlooked an opportunity tt use some every-day happening to illu: trste some principle of mechanics. On this particular occasion, chancing

spy a peddler pushing a handcart,

the great inventor cried: "Now there

good example. I don’t suppose can tell me why h.» pushes the

cart instead of pulls It. I don't know whether the man himself could answer. I’ll ask^him." "My good man.’ said the Inventor, turning to the ped dler, "why do you push the cart rather than pull it?" "Cause I alnta da boss, you damma fool.” was the unscientific,

thi Jgh disconcerting answer.

WHY FAY MORE?

Foi Full Neolin Sole* and Rubber Heel*

New Model Shoe Repairing Co. felt bj pi:crt pot. • So.lb rillb Si. 7H1LADELFHIA, PA.

$1.75

Millions in Fertilizer FINE COOPERATIVE PLAN FOR DEALERS Write Today DuBois Fertilizer Works 411 Perry Bid., Philadelphia

Population of United States Estimated at 105.000,000

The population of continental United Slate U estimated at 105.000.000. by J. A. Hill, chief statistician the census bureau. His calculation Is based on the combined populations of 1.406 cities and towns for which statistics have been announced. The increase over 1910 Is placed about 13,000,000, showing the! growth of the country has not kept | pace with the previous decade. A!-, most complete cessaiior ol immigra-1 lion during the war Is the chief reu- j son assigned for the falling off in! growth. Other suggestions were the | two Influenza epidemics, return ol aliens to their native lands and deaths j of soldiers during the war. The aggregate population of the cities and towns on which the < stimate was made is 41.029,354. This is an average gain of 26 per cent compared with 35 per cent in the previous de-, cade.

The Market Outlook i* decidedly encouraging and justifies our opinion that judicious purchaser made ai prevailing market should ultimately show generous profits. WEEKLY LETTER t . . . gives interesting data on 1 BOSTON A MONT, j BIG LFDGE MAGMA COPPER INTERC. RUBBER 1 ELK BASIN MARACAIBO OIL DIVIDE STOCKS We shall be glad to send you a copy, without obligation, i upon request to Desk RP-10. Our Statistical Department will clwfully furnish i;.formation on any listed or unlisted securities you hold or contemplate purchasing. PRICE, GUARD & CO. 430 Widcncr Building Philadelphia. Pa. Locust 5315-7-8-9 Race 5117-8 New York Office—32 Broadway Direct Wires to all Markets

The Furrow News atid Views About the Farm

New Jersey Crop Report Sept. 1, 1920

Corn—The condition on September 1 was 91 per cent of a normal indicating a yield of 42.3 bushels per acre total production of 10.R29.000 bushels an compared with 10.800.000 bushels last year, and 10,603,000 bushels, the average p-odnetion for the

past ten years.

Oats—All oats remaining unharvested suffered considerable loss from wet weather. The condition on September 1 or time of harvest was 90 per cent of a normal, Indicating a yield of 32.4 bushels per acre and a production of 2,495,000 bushels as compared with 2,461,000 bushels last year, and 2.327.000 bushels, the average production for the past ten years. Buckwheat—The condition of the crop on September 1 was 90 per cent of a noma! indicating a yield of 218 bushels per acre and a total production of 216.000 bnshels as compared with 197.000 bushels last year, and a total production of 216,000 bushels as compared with 137.000 bushels last year, and 252,000 bushels, he average pro ductiou for the past ten years. Potatoes—The condition of the crop a Seitember 1 was 94 per cent of a normal indicating a yield of 135.4 bushels per acre and a total product Ion of 14,488,000 bushels as compared with 10.560.000 bushels, last year's final estimate. and 9.903.000 bushels, the average production for the past ten years. Sweet Potatoes—The condition of the crop on September 1 was 95 per cent of a normal indicating a yield of 139.7 bushels per acre and a production of 1.956.000 bushels as < jmpared with 1.750.000 Dushels, last year’s final estimate. and 2,627,000 bushels, the average production for the past ten years. Hay Tame)—The average yield of all tame or cultivated hay this season is estimated at l.i>5 tons per acre and the total production at 557.700 tons, as compared with 487.600 tons last year and 499.000 tons. th<* average production for the past ten years. Timothy: The yield this season is estimated at 1.60 tons as compared with 1.40 tons last year. Alfalfa: The yield this season Is estimated at 2.70 ons as compared with 2.70 tons last year. The quality cf all tame hay this season is 91 per ce:.t of a normal as compared with 86 per cent last year. The quality of all tame hay this season is 91 per cent of a normal as compared with 86 per cent last year, and 90 per cent, the average quality for the past ten years. Wild Hay: The average yield this season Is estimated at 1.40 and a total production of 54.000 as compared with 47,017 tons last year. The quality of this year’s crop 83 per cent of a normal as compared with 83 per cent last year.

Pastur* s—The condition of pastures n September 1 was 101 per cent of normal as compared with 97 per cent last year, and 84 per cent, the average condition for the past five yearn t September 1. Apples—The condition of the total • agricultural crop on September 1 wos 90 per cent of a normal indicating a production of 3.455,000 bushels a* compared with 2,313.000 bushels, last year’s final estimate, and 2.241.000 bushels, the average production for the past ten years. The commercial crop is estimated ot 898,000 barrels as compared with 587.000 barrels, last year's final estimate, anti 524,000 barrels, 1918 estimate. Peaches—The total production of peaches this soon is estimated at 1,056.000 bushels as compared with 1,018.000 bushels, last yew’s final estimate. and 937.000 bushels, the average production for the post ten years. The quality of this year’s crop Is 84 per cent of a normal os compared with 87 per cent, the average quality for the past eight years. The commercial production this year is estimated at 834.000 bushels, the average production lor the past three yeors. Pears—The condition of the total crop on September 1 was 7S p«r cent of a normal indicating a production of 187.000 bushels as compared with 500,000 bushels, last year's final estimate, ond 605 >00 bnshels. the average production for the past ten years. Other Crops—The condition of other crops in New Jersey and the average condition for the past ten years on September 1 • xpressed in percentage of normal are as follows: Field peas. I, 91; field beans. 90,84; tomatoes, 87, 78; cabbage, 95. 82; onions. 96. 84: grapes, 91. 85; watermelons, the per normal yield per acre this season Is estimated at 84 per cent as compared with 68 per cent last yeor and 78 per cent, the average for the past ten years. Cantaloupes. The percent of normal yield per acre this season is estimated at 87 per cent as compered with 75 per cent last year, and 80 per cent, the average for the past ten years. Hogs—The number of hogs for fattening on hand September 1 was estimated at 91 per cent of last year’s

number.

Wool—The total production of wool this season is estimated at 109,000 pounds as compared with 106 pounds

lost ye.

Egg Production—The egg production : on commercial p—lanIs during August is estimated at 34 per cent compared [with 39 per cent for July and 35 per cent for August, 1919. ! Cranberries—Th« crop is somewhat less than that of last year due to unfavorable weather during, and following the blooming period, also continuous raluTall flooded some bogs. The Massachusetts forecast is 300,000 barrels, the Wisconsin crop is estimated at 30.000 barrels.

Never before —possibly never again in your life “The yields en current •fferings (#/ high-grade securities 1 are ivitbtut precedent in mtdern limes." —From New York Times We believe you will do well to keep posted regarding issues on the Stock Exchange, New York Curb and unlisted securities that provide exceptional opportunities for investment. You can do this Ky CUU., 3714 Locust _ Beli or 3381 Race - Keystone One of the most Important factors to consider In the study of a security, either for investment or trading, is the personality, experience and ability of the man or men behind the enterprise. If the security is classed as an Industrial there are several especially important factors In addition to the management to be conslderel, such as: Is there an increasing or decreasing demand for the product wf the company? Are the p'mts well located as to labor supply, transportation facilities, etc Is the company earning money or (If it is a new company) are ''e prospects for profit good? Is the management alert and enterprising? Hew many shores of stock arc to be issued and what other forms of Ind* btedness has the company? Is there a ready market for the securities in case you wish to dlf pose of them? Is the company comparatively young—with all ‘his means for growth?

arefully selected securities, which tue recommend because

tf their liberal yield and attractivenns at present priie

K

OONTZ & ( Va securities'^^.

Members Consolidated Stock Exchange of New York 723-26-28 WIDENER BUILDING. PHILADELPHIA, PA. TELEPHONES—Walnut 4763-4-5 R, ce -?ai-2 J Broadway, New York Direct Private Wires Connecting Office#