With Hamilton at the Turn

A SHORT STORY

By SEWELL FORD

“Oh. I MiT. Torchjr." Bay* Mr. Robert. a» wr'r« windin' up whnt ^a*se* tar a day’ll work «1 the Comiraued. "What about Milton WUde? ’ ■'Nm a peep f am him.” My* I. ' H-m-m-m!" : Jr Robert. regi»tt.1n' deep thouvbi by pollin' his rirht ear. ”We oopht to know between now and tomorrow afternoon. Couldn't yon manage to ran him down Borne where?” “I expect »o." says L ‘‘He's generally on the 6.13 going out. stretch an eye.” It was nothing more'n a little d«al in club politics but that's about the only kind Mr Robert goes in for at all strong. He doesn't seem to get much excited orer which Ohio man gets the lob of runnin' the nation. When it comes to bos*in' the important affairs of the Foarin Rock Country ciob. •bonrh. and appointin' a new ont rtalnmem cx-nmittee, and decidin' whether to put a :tled floor in the billiard room or lay down cork mats, he'* right there with the quick action and the subtle strategy. Uh-hnh. He don't get roused up until the annu.il meotin' is only ten days off, bnt Inf ide of a week he's worked up a plan to put the skids under the old fossils who've b«en boldin' office so long as they seem to think they’re been elected for life. And now he has enough rotes pledged to snow 'em under when the time come- and slip in an entirely new board. The only uncertain detail is whether this Milton will seyre a* a director. Course, he's only a filler . I expect Mr. Robert picked him mostly on account of bis looks. Kind of a dignified, ruposin’ party. Mil‘on; mainly because of his 44 belt measure, his gray hair and the wise look in his wideset o -1 eyes. You know, one uf those guys who get rated a sbeing substantial and Important without erer openin’ their heads. Ill admit that's the way 1 sized him up. too. Just from srt-in' him drift in and out with the other commuters on the way to and from Harbor Hills Not that he'd erer showed up prominent in any of our civic or social affairs, but somehow I always e’-pteted he could if he wanted to. Rut about all he evei di.' was to come u one o; the club's fortnightly dinner dunces now and then, bob around one- or twice in an oldfashioned waif with that slim, blackeyed wife of his. and fade away early. He was never put on any committees and nev<-r seemed to have much to say when stag groups gathered In the smoking room. Yet he was sort of counted as havin' it up bis sleeve. So when Mr Robert organizes this secret boll from the cut and dried lot the old nemmatin’ mmmittee has put oa the official ballot, he slates Milton Wilde as one of the new directors. First off Milton had agreed, sort of hesitatin' to be one of the pirate crew. Then h« d word next day that Led re to think over the proposition before he finally decided, and since then he'd simply been stallin' around. As Mr. Robert had worked me in as secretary of the bolters' committee U was really part of my Job to trsll down any sidesteppers. So instead of campin’ down comfortable with a four-star evenin' edition in the smokin' car i goes scoutin' through the coaches until 1 locates this Mr. Wilde. And not until I'd draped myself confidential oa the seei arm did 1 not' -e that the female party at the window was friend wife. 1 hadn’t quite counted on that complication, t till such t’ mgs are bound to bfaru'iy affairs more or less. So 1 biazc

ahead.

“Excuse me for crashln' In. Mr. Wide.” says I. "but bow about that matter Mr. Robert EUins has put you

down for?”

•■Oh, ye*." says he. blinkin’ at roe. kind of stupid. "Ah--er—yes." • Mcanin' you will.-' says I. "or just indicatin' intelligence' -Why.” says He, "1—1 really haven't quite decid’d." "Time's r-ttin' short, you know.' ys 1. “We've got to have the ticket tuade up by tomorrow noon merely a case of you wUl or you won't. Course, if you're rootin' for the old crowd- that settles 1 -No.” says be. " actiy. I—1 think I change. Decidedly.

t isn’t that e im in favor of But whether 1

against the wall and t going to scuttle thi ierely going to push

change is needed. I've often said as much. So has Mrs. WUde.” "Then we can count you in. eh " says I. "Why," savs he. glancin' hasty over his right shoulder, "I—er—I think perhaps you"— MUton!" snaps In Mrs. WUde. turnin' on him so quick that the long Jet tar danglers she wears jiggle irenan dn'. Yes.” my dear!" he responds pn opt. 'You know you'll do nothing of the sort." says she. "The idea! Just as I've been taken Into th. Wednesday Bridge Club by some of those very ladles whose husbands you propose treat in this shameful way. What do you suppose they would think of So this is what you've been plotting all this week, is It? 1 knew you weer up to somethin* " But really my dear," he protests, have only been considering the matter." Without considering me at all." comes back Mrs. WUde. “And It would take you out evenings, I presume. Just when I needed you as an tort. That’s a man for you!" But—I had intended talking It all over with you. my dear." he apolo-

gizes.

“Wen, I guess you have now,' says I. smotherin' a grin. i could give you a definite answer in the morning." suggests Wilde. 'Don't bother." says L "This is definite enough. Sorry you don't feel like joinin' In. But well put on some body else. So long." And right after dinner that night I has to chase up to the EUins place and report to Mr. Robert. "You can cross off Mr. Henry Peck." says I Who?” says Mr. Robert. "Alias Milton Wilde," says I. “Say, where did you ever get a name like that. Why. he's the tamest Wilde flower in captivity. Grows tamer hour by hour, too. In other words. Mr. Robert. Milton resigns." 'You mean." says Mr. Robert, “that he has positively declined to serve as a director?" "Not at ail," says 1. “But Mrs. Milton Wilde declines to let him.— ! had a talk with her about It. Tha' is. she had a talk with him. And say, when I left 'em he was jumpin' hrough a hoop for her. Would you ihink it?*' 'Oh. well." say* Mr. Robert, "then 'll have to put on Thatcher. Call him up. will you?" So the great conspiracy went hrough. after all. Sure it did. for with Mr Robert pullin' the strings that collection of old-timers was ttemped as swift as If they had been •landing on a trap door. They dropped out of sight so sudden they hardly had time to let out a gaap be: ween

t interestin’ part of 10 me w*» this new ae on MUton WUde. saw him after that.

'em.

But the mo the campaign Une U gave Every time 1

•truttln' around lookin' wise and dignified. I'd have to let out a chuckle. Not thst henpecked husbands was any

more of a novelty In our neck

woods than In most places, but as a

rule it's a little shrimp of

who's being bossed around by a ladv

husk with two or three chins and

eagle beak. Milton, though, looked like he could lay down the law anywhere. or call a vice-president on the carpet and get him chewin’ his tongue.

Here he Is, though, ironin' around

meek after a litt.e 98-pound female whose main offensive is a limber tongue and a paii of snappy black

1 Mostly I saw him around the Country Club, not indulgtn. in golf

billiards or a round of roodlcs in a back room with the other hubbies, but waitin' patient at the car while

Mrs. WUde finished a rubber,

cisln' her in a fox trot. Generally he had something draped on his arm; an evening wrap, or a pink sweater, or maybe he was cartin' a knittine bag. Hi lest, all he needed was a pair of black satin breeches and a gold cord over his shoulder to be a he-mald, only there were no Thursday afternoon* or Sunday nights off f <r him. He'd been loped at the altar and nothing but a decree nisi or something

like that would ever set him free. Meanwhile Mr. WUde. bavins horned

her way Into the Roaring Rock social set. is proceedin' to cu: loose with her executive gifts. We heard rumors of how she is runnin' the Wedneeday

Bridge Club with a high hard,

she'd gone to the house OT-mlttee and insisted on changin' the furnishing ] 1 scheme of the ladies' reception room j all round, and had raised a grand ’ • rumpus until they put her on as one ' of the hostesses for the dinner dances, j ’

way

mUy."

much more active than ever, for she always appears to be driving somewhere or other in her car.” “That don't explain Milton's doings, though.” said 1. "Looks like he'd slipped his leash for gooi He's a Changed Maybe I was more curious than I should have been, but I was seeto' « of Milton than I used to. For thing, he'd taken to ridin back and forth in the smokin' car. Not only that, but he was mirin’ in with a sporty bunch of commuters—the kind that ar* always vertin' up heftin' pools on various events, and lettin' out loud haw-haw* or,-r some story that has to be told in a corner, don't appear to be runnin' on any fixed schedule any luncer. but has occasional dates In town and seems to be get tin' familiar with all the new girt shows. A regiar tired business man cut-up. I expected I'd uncovered the key to the mystery in time anyway, from listenin’ in on the train chat, but as U happens 1 gets iy hunch straight from '.eadquarters. Here the ocher night. Just as we finfshes dinner, there comes a ring at the front door and the maid says how Mrs. MUton WUde is caUln'. "Zooey-ooey!” says I. Off stage for me. She higkt have her dog whip with

her."

But before I has time for a quick exit in she blows, her jet car danglers Jinglin’ and her black eyes snappin vivacious. “My dear Mrs. Ballard." she opens, palin’ Vee friendly on the shoulder. "I'm «*ire you art with us but as long as I'm making a house to house 1 thought 1 would drop In and be sure. You are with us. aren't you " "I—I don't know,” says Vee. "fn

what?”

“You don't mean." demands Mrs. WUde. ‘That you haven't heard of our movement?" “The one to establish a conununlt; bouse In the village?" asks Vee. "Oh. dear no!” says the lady. "Nothing trivial of that son. This is big, votal But rarely you must hare heard of my organization, the Women i'oters' Independent league.” •'I’m sorry." says Vee. "but you setbaby Rlchord has been cutting his molars and”— "Yea. yes." breaks In Mrs. Wilde impatient. "Most children do in time But that Is no reason for neglecting one's duty as a citizen. And here we are in the midst of a campaign which should mean eo much to all of us. Are we to exercise our hard won right of suffrag. IntelHgetuIy, jt are we to be the e«sy dupes of the male politicians who have tricked ind fooled us so long? Here! Road my pamphlet! If there are any points In It which you fail to grasp call me up and I'll come ■ you again. At least, let us enroll you on our list. Come to our meetings too." ‘•Say. Vee. when you going to start In on your whirlwind tour?” "Right now!" says she, chuckin' a sofa pillow -u my head and showin' her cheek dimples. ’ _ "Everywhere the women voters are flockin' to our standard. It's fine, insptniring. I hiring the last month I've motored nearly 8000 mile*, and made more than a heedred speeches. Never eaJoyed anything eo much in my life. ReaUy. my dear!" "I—I've no doubt." says Vee. “So will you, too. when you get into the wort, of It." says Mr*. Wide. "It will get you out of the petty, humdrum round of domestic life. You will realize what the franchise means. We are getting some of the more broadminded men on our side. also. You. young man.” and she turns to me, “I presume you are a voter, too ” "Well, in a small, amateur way.”

1 admits.

"Then I must leave you some of

going to happen ‘c him when , iiteratnre, also." says she. shovin'

home and beating up my fa "Why, Torchy!" say* Vee.

“Anyway. I gotta tr-*t somebody xigb," says I. But th • best I could do was to wort It out m Buddy, the Airedale, who liked nothing better. Somebody ought to tike that MIL i Wilde and feed hfn raw meat for a month." I suggest*, “and then maybe he'd snap back at her some of

these times.”

■Why,” says Vee. Tir «uri I think Mr. Wild- i* a perfect!r nice He's so kind and thoughtful." “And well trained, et "Why. yes." says Vee Td tike to try snapp a' my dnger quick at him." says L ITl bet he'd lie clown and roll orer." ; which Vee giggles. I wonder if Mm. Wilde couldn't b- Induced give lessons In the art >f managing a husband?" says she. ~t n* could ge». up quite a large class rght here in

Harbor Hill* "

"Huh!" says I. She'd five lessons in anything to anybody, tbit wc I'd almost worked op a lot of sympathy for Mil on. i tried •'rare out what it must be like, being dictated to at every step, told where you must

go and when you must

well as what you could eat and probably what you ought to think W^y. even her pet Pekinese bad more independence than that. He would get and roll in the mud occasionally. But Milton hardly dared smoke a cigarette while wlfie was around I've seen him sneakin' a puff or two on the sly in corner of the drb veranda. The poor

prune!

And then here a short time back begins the great revolt. First I knew about it was ore night a. the dub when I discovers Milton etridin' bold into the smokin' room with a big black cigar between his teeth. Not only that but be stand* around with his feet wide apart and his cheat thrown out and pretty soon iio's lippin' Into the general deba'e—I believe It was about which of tbe world series teems had the best strinr ot pitcher*—and- he gives off some cock-sure opinions. Next thing I know he's drifted over to where a little game of quarter ante is going on and is sixin’ up the play

critical.

"I nay," he cuts In. "what about let-

ting me have a suck, eh?"

"Why. sure, old man." says one of the crowd. "Didn't know you were

an addict."

“Oh, l‘m a little rust}-," says Milton, "but perhaps I can brush up. Three

cards, please.”

s such an odd sight, seeing MUWllde actin' like a n-g’lar guy that 1 had to tow Mr. Robert in and point it out to him. "What do you know about that?" says I. "Milton's playing hookey." “The wickid old boy!” says Mr. Robert- "What If hts wife found out?*' "Don't says I. You curdle m>

blood."

All 'hat evenin', too. I was exp* .-tin' anv minute to see her come leadin' him by the ear out to the limousine and lock him in. But nothing like that happens. In fact. 1 didn't get a glimpse of Mrs. Wilde at all. and * hen we left along about 11.46 .■liltou was still sluin' in the game. He'd shed his coat, and his hair was mussed, and there was a reckless look in his eye as be bought a fresh stack and lighted another double Corona. I telling Vee about it as we drives back. "What do you suppose has happened to make him act like tha«?" she aaks. "II can make a better guess

ward

d thins, she pay roll.

ha d '

all z>n thejv

he gets home." says I, "but I wouldn' like to harrow up your feeHn's. Anyaway, he's having a night out and 1 guess it's coming to him. What I'm wonderin' Is, how many years it’ll be

before be gets another!"

But Instead of that being Milton's finish it only seemed *o be his start. Next time I saw him he was all dolled up in tweed knickers and a pivot sleeve coat and is luggin' a golf hag out to where our near Scotch pro. wax waitin’ to give him a golf lesson. "Hub!” thinks I. "That means Saturday afternoon and Sunday mornin' sessions, and maybe a flask on the hip. Tut. tut, Milton! I don't believe you can get away with it-" He seems to, though Anyway, inside ot a mcnth he's chummin' around with other duffers and talkin' loud in the loiket room about how II ht could get his mashie to woritln' he thinks he could make that first nine under 69. "Bet you ten you don't before they 'put us on the winter greens," says

it of his dub fort-some.

"You're on " says Wilde. “And by >xt summer 111 he ploying some of >u sand-eaters dollar Nassau even ». You watch your Uucle Milton." And as 1 tell* Vee: ‘'Something range about ail that, mighty strange, au ain't heard of Mrs. Wilde havin' wn drugged or anything, have yon?" ]

some leaflets at me. "Here!" Thoughts for the Male Voter.’ Read consider, and Join our glorious movement. Thank you both. 1 must but iy on now Jor I am to open a meeting In 10 minuter. There are three scheduled for tonight and goodness knows when I ahall get home- Good-bye.' "Whew!" sayr 1. as she breesee out. “So that’s how Milton can pull all this shore leave stuff, eh? Are husbands people? You bet they areThe Nineteenth amendment has set 'em free. Some of 'em. anyway. 1 throw ti off casual and careless, but. cane to think it over. 1 ain't sure but what 1 elocated a mouthful that litre. Goes i’ll haxe to spring it cm Milton and get his opinion. Eh? Composer Baroni. gallant cuss, says; “Every woman is a song,” which we moved to amend to read: "Every woman is a popular song." New York reports one family with eight casee of ptomaine poisoning. They ought presently to become expert enough to expUin why ’hi "P" 1*

in piomaine.

Autumn Leaves and How to Press Them Who does not lovo the beautiful colon that dot the horizon in the autumn. and who does not love to gather the brightly colored leaves that blow from the tires and carry them home for mother to see? Do you know the different colon of the trees In autumn? The maples are yellow and firey red. The o red and morocco-red. The beeches are nut-brown. The grasses turn straw-yellow and the weeds turn brown: and each kind of a weed has a col jr tor its very own and each plant has Its own color. Surely there is a wealth of color flooding the autumn landscape and it is no wonder that many ot you are tempted to presert* the beautiful leaves that you gather while on your autumn walks. When gathering the leeves always select those that are fully matured. alwayi beat to secure them in small bunches, each bunch to contain several leaves attached to a amall twig Be careful not to hare the twig too long or thick or it will Interfere with the pressing It Is useful when collecting the leaves to place them in small light box with a close BUlnr L It is also wise to put a layer of damp (not wet) moss or grass tn the bottom of the box to keep the leaves from drying and curling up For drying the leaves old smooth newspopera will do Just as well as the most expensive blotting paper. When arranging the leaves between the newspaper* tn to place those of the same mlckness together so that there will be even thickness when the weights are applied. The weights to ptevs the leaves may be anything heavy— big books, old soap boxes filled with stones or sand or earth. The time required for drying the leaves varies with the amount of sap they contain and the dryness of the atmosphere. After the leaves are dry and pressed, remove the weights and the leaves may be prettily mounted so that they may be indefinitely, preserved. Cardboard of he ivy mounting paper Is g iod for this purpose, and warm glue ts the most efficient for sticking qualities. Tops for blotters, or cover for books as well as book markers and fancy cards may be made from the mount* 1 leaves. Try them. They make very inexpensive and seasonable gifts: and the leaves are such fun to collect and press and mount Heros of Past World Series 1903—Cy Young. Red Sox pltchr He vwm tnree out of five games fro. the Pirates. 1905— Billy Gilbert. Giant second baseman. Supposedly a weak hitler, he drove In a majority of his team's runs against the Athletics. 1906— George Robe, -ubstioote infield'—. who played third for the White He won two games from the Cubs with thret'bagger*. 1907— Miner Brown and Ed Tteulbach. Cup pitchers. • 1908—Brown. Roulbach and Orvin Overall, cub pitchers. 1909—Babe Adams, Pirate pitcher. 1910—Eddie Collins. Athletics’ s-cond baseman, and Jack Coombs, Athletics’

pitcher.

1911— Frank Baker, Athletics' third baseman, whose home runs defeated; the Giants 1912— Tns Speaker. Red Sox center Adder, by his batting and Harry Hooper. Red Sox right fielder, by his fielding, featured the victories over the Giants. 1913— Baker by his hitting, and Chief Bender and Eddie Plank. Athletics' pitchers, defeated 'he Giants. 1914— Hruk Gowdy. Braves' catcher, batted his team to victory over thfe Athletics. Dick Rudolph was the star pitcher of the Braves. 1915— Duffy Lewis, Harry Hooper and Tris Speaker, the Red Sox outfield defeated the Phillies by their batting and fielding.

W, a I

-s I to Vee. "A t while I feel like g

"I t

1*16—I^rry GaM-t, tUrfi baseman, w .is , M , n ” tal tn defeating the -

batting.

1917-Eddie Cleott.* ...j

Faber, Wail. So* „iv h J** 1

the games from the <

twirling.

1913—George v

of the minor leag-:.- * no ^ field for the Red Sox. J? chief factor | a def' his batting and fleldira-. 1919—Walter Remt.-r, Rm J by his batting, and Eddie TUm center fielder, by his fiHdu7| big factors in most ol ”

the While Sox. Dp

Sox youngster, pitched he*

(of tu three victories

Too Steady Diet

Fails to |

Bride’s Din

Pi tUburgh—Fried touutonj tmbera may be rellfh-<i p, but aa a steady diet. Mr« v Gaakell could not thriv. o B ught suit for divorce ^ her husband, a promiE-n-of Carmichael. Judr- s. _ Common Pleas ccur. »ho h case, d.-ddtd that Mr* not made out a ease.

la her complain

a divorce were not

granting a decree.

Mrs. Gaakell charged < barbarous tteatnu-r.' TI were married January u lived together only four «■

Hans Peters, arrested on h* di

testimony the aggrieved *ii* cthat the first two weeks i ' ueband were not so bad. b the la: t two week:- were o she could stand. Her moth-to some reason, gave her not but fried tomatoes and Three limes a day the diet * ded out, the young wife dfl plaints that they palled tite fell on deaf ears. iV.ed tn and cucumber* bobbed up »|

each meal ar d s them or starve

She also charged her husbi cruelty, declaring that he had (K cned to kill her. Gaakell m fci fense dented her allegati stated that the food - rvedl mother was well cook d. and in variety. Judge SSvea refusing the decree risr tomatoes and cucumb- r. two weeks was no great t Houest Man Shocks! Cincinnati’s Cincinnati—A week hco a walked Into the police rtaMosl said he was stranded and $10 from City Detect!'- Wiilirt CocfchAL Fellow officer* h*i 1 «t*« his ten good-bye. A (e«i ago the stranger returned the money. McCorklud have made a bit of interest * he bad that the bot.ower

turn.

r weriugj

Epidemic of. Dog Stealing iniBerlfl Berlin—An epidemic f d£ * ing here has been ended b> lhc ** Hans ePteva. arrested ^ ct * confessed that he stole ic *-‘ rate of 30 a day and -Id >-*■ butchers. War Widows Stay Single Short 'W London—A Sooth London mistress sts**a that of sd and 1915 war wloows on b« r only one has remained ‘

In I

Ariflling for a Salary Advance Our clever businnet. manager. Get Watkins, was in Pawnee Tuesdayhe seems HaiUet. Okla. Herald

4'

PER CENT. PER ANNUM ON SAVINGS ACCOUNTS

Open a Savings Account by Mail

Add to it regularly know the satisfactH watching your wealth in i! CAPITAL AND SURPLUS $4,006,000 WEST END TRUST CO-

liroad Sc. and So. Penn Sq.

philadei.ph 1