CAPE MAY DAILY STAR.

Capo May Oliy SocleUee.

COTTAGE DIBECTOET

'Dally Star” TMe labia,

found it an expensive lesson.

“For the V." “HMD's you ra” “Y'es, yes. Of coarse It

“Didn't yoi “Certainly 1 did." Then why so much scocyV “It's merely an expression at erstlflca-

“\Vhy. yes. of coarse I did." “If yon buy a wagon load of furniture . do you express gratitude to the man who '.mainly not." I would look as though yon expected I • beaten out of It If you rai cd traiuse be turned It orer to you. wouldn’t Ilf" “It might." “You didn't art any Interest on that Y, did you?" “No." I "Then you're no reason to be grateful t me for coming to yon for UP" “Net I can't see that I bare." “Faror was all on your aide?" Then why In thunder do you Intimate that I hare done you a faror in idvlug It back! Why didn't you aay Thank the I»rdP It would be about as compliment ary. I'm a Ut of a stickler on etiquette." “So I are. I’ll bo more careful In the future. I'll are that this doesn't happen again." That's right.” “Safest way Is not to let you bars any

“Hold o

than! Yon misunderstand

“Oh, no. I might be betrayed Into thanking yon when yon'returned them, and then you'd feel Inaultcd." “No, no. Nerer in the world, old man.* “1 wouldn't Insult you fur anything." “Of course not. I understand that perfectly." "Of course you wouldn't say anything about it. but I might make a slip sol lme. and then you'd feel hurt." “No, I wouldn't: boDcst.” “Oh. that's all. right. You're trying e nice and courteous about It ao'a not hurt my feelings, but I know your aru nature. Tbe safest way la the beat If I don't let you hare any mo s’11 be no danger of my making any these frightful blunders. Much obliged you. my boy, for putting sue on." Thai night a young mau walked all tbe way to hia home, Duraiug bia wrath i went, and when ba got In the house be took down a treatise ou “The I’ae of Polite lets" and tore It up and stamped and then threw tbe plecea out of tbe window, and none of tbe phrases be used ing tbe entire time could bare been printed In the book If It were to go through I' United States malls.—Chicago Tribune.

John Black. Ute chimney sweep, made you an offer of marriage? Tbs Plaintiff — Certainly, your bono bare It In black white.—Flirgcndc Blatter.

Ob, but he was a diidrllom swell, ami when he want to call'on a fashionable youug woman on Cass avenue aha was pleased Is-youd expression. At half-past S be started to go. “Must you go mo soon?" aha Inquired. “But t aanuah you. my deab Miss Fwawnera," be entreated, "’it Is quits I'te." “Why, It la only half-past 6 o'clock!" she orged." “Yaaa, Mina Fwawnota. by yoah time, but, don't yon know. It la quite aftab 12 by laiodon time, and weally, I must he going. So aowwy. don't you know, but what cawnt be cashed must he enduahed, don’t you know. Good night, Miaa Fwawncca. You'll be at the tea tomorrow, of coahsf Good ulgfaL''—Detroit Free Press.

Why Jim Was Paialsd. We hare an Incnjiator, also a small colored boy to run errands, wash dishes, etc. Ou the arrival of rite former tbe little darky was very curious to know all about IL 'He examined the article thoroughly. Then asked: “Say, Mim Julie, what fur dst ■ar ting?" That's for batching chickens. James,” I explained. “Fur to belch chickens? Whar you put

, “and tbe lamp underbeat and molstui ' le looked quizzically at It for an Instant, :n asked, “Misa Julie, wbar you put de ben?"—Philadelphia Ilecord.

Family Discipline. Colonel Fizxietop was under tbs painful neceaaily of administering a severe castigation to bis son Johnny. After be bad com pitted bis labors be said sternly to tbe suffering victim: “Now tell me why I punished you?" That's It," sobbed Johnny; “you nearly pound tha life ont of me, and now you doqt even know why you did It"—Texas Siftings

Shoe Dealer—Shoes should not be worn right along, ma'am. They should Iwgiven achance to gel back their shape. Bay two and the other the next Fair Customer—Will shore last longer that way? Dealer (with oooSdenee)—Yea, Indeed, ma'am, twice as long.—New York Weakly.

"Bow beautifully your daughter plays," said Mrs Petarby. The music ceased at that moment Tbe

G(nt—I cant drink this soup. Waiter takes away tbs bowl and fetebre

Welter—Bag your pardon, sir, why not.

THE ARIZONA KICKER.

THE SEW JERSEY Trust and Sale Deposit Co Ldbyetle and Baak Mil, Tape Bay.

Call Him Orr.—If the so mllol Major Skinner, who baa loafed around this town for lha last six months, has any friends who bare his welfare at heart they will him off tbe perch. It aecme the major has bean Uyiug his pipe* for office, sod 'our artidu of two wusks ago. asking where be stole his last oow. has somewhat clouded his prospects Ha now Ucns to shoot os on sight and was at the pus to dice yesterday with a big revolver belonging to lathe Higgins We regret theae little annoyance*, but If they must be met we are not tha man to ahrink from the task. Tomorrow after noon, after our first form goes to press and we work off 300 auction bills, we shall strap on our gun and take a walk. If Major Skinner has departed from Tucson be may live to be a hundred yean old: if be hasn't he will make No. 10 Ih our private graveyard. This la official, and comes right from headquarters Poou Old Maxi—Tbe wheezy, broken backed press owned by our edevmed cotemporary fell to pieces tbe other day as be was getting ready to work his outside form, and as soon as we beard of the accidets we tendered him tbe use of ours He gratefully accepted; but alas! no act of kindness or generosity can change the leopard's spot*: His circulation, while giren as 3.150, is In reallty hadn't the manhood about him to bring along his 390 sheets of white paper and depend ou our honor, but be bins a can and drives up with two whole buDdh*. and then pretends be baa ran short Two men were kept hard at work all day, and bun dreds of sheets of paper were recklessly wasted, that the old hypocrite and falsifier might flatter himself that we were deceived. We don't like such men. We can't believe they are

No Boon.—We understand that several real estate firms In this town have combined to get up a boom and make things Jump. In fact they offered us a half page ad. tor this week, hot ws didn't taka It As so Individual we might cheat a man from Omaha at poker, but as an editor we can't be bleed to help swiudle our subscribers. Id order to offset the machinations of this syndicate we wish to aay: We have got the fag end of one railroad here, and neither want nor will ever he able to gel anything more. Society Is not cultivated. Such a thing as a lootbbrash or a volnme of poems found on a man here would hang him. Tbe land around the town is so poor that It takes nine feet of It orer s dead mule to hold the carcass down. It Is not a trade center. We bare the Digger Indian on three sides of us, and s Urge family of coyotes ou the fourth. Tbs climate wobbles all orer creation. land linen dusters about equal and mighty steady. It is not s sanitarium for Invalids If tbs climate didn’t kill 'em our doctors would. This U about all, but enough to pat oar subscribers on tbeir guard and to clear onr nadenoe If oorodvice Is not taken. Now, ntlemen of the comhinaliuu, go ahead with your boomietl—M. Quadlu New York World. '

The raoooaylUble that beads this chapter was hurled by the Marquis de Bilictte at tbe bead of hla errant son and heir. “Co!" repasts! tbe proud father. “Let me never see your fare again. Never again shall your foot cross this threshold. To think that one of your noble name and lineage s bon Id wed an obscure aalasglrll Get thee benorl As long aa 1 lire these an res teal halls shall never he darkened by

disgrace upon ' re already done.'' 'Y'es, I can, father," said the young man a hard, metallic voice, which barmoed well with tbe steely glitter In hU eye and bis brazen front "Either you forgive me or I go to work. Y’ou shall hare five minutes In which to decide.” In four minutes the haughty noble man had found bia mind and In thirty aecoudj acre bad made it up. “Y'ou have won," said be. “But Utile id I dream of tbe depths of depravity In your nature that you hare today revealed."

A gentleman who was visiting one of tbe public schools In a Texas town asked a bright looking boy: "What profit la there In ancient history!" “About fifty cents. I reckon," was tbe reply. “Whatf “Well, the teacher makes us boy the books, and we bare to pay a dollar. I think be gets them for fifty rents, accord Ing to my calculation."—Texas Siftings

Whitt tar*, one of the latest Inventions or discoveries. It will not become soft coder the sun's rays in any climate, and Is

Nature seems to stand a deal of abuaa before aha finally gives way. One woman lay In bad and took doctors' stuff for aloeteen yean before aha incoeadad In dytn£

Ha Balp Far It Artist—How de you like tbs portrait? Si tier—Well, 1 don't exactly like tk

Beneficial. KrUdoui and exeente Trusts of every Urwriptlou. WHS receipted (or and safely kept without char*.. Deposits of Money will be received payable

a. C. THOMPSON, Agent.

MANAGEMENT. ALEX. *1. CATTKLl.. President F- «'. AY Kit. Vide President. fiDWAMD fi. HALL. Secretary and Trews. DIKECTOKb: ALXX. O. Csrrztx. E.C. Kamirv, K. W.AIXa, l.tOHOX K.TttLOB Gaoaox U. Uaxsa, Cnwsan H. Hatt, e. A. Akarraoso, Lnris BaaL, IsaacH.HaiTB. U.W.Iticxxseaaav kVWABD BrrrLa.

jjT j5>. jj WATSON, Agent and Communor Dealer. 69 Washington 8t. (

Specialty in Hooks. Stall,uiery. Toilet Paper, Fishing Tackle. Pocket Cutlery, Carpet Tartu. Agency lor Eastern Net and Talne Coro pany Me-rial discounts on Early Cash Orders

AMERICAN CATARRH CURE, Has cured hundreds ol cases nbrre NITX'IAI.IKTN FAILED. IT WILL Cl'KK YOI'. Prepared by Hr. W. B. Jours, 1XK t Street. PbllsJelp- ■-

F. Weber & Co., 1125 Chestnut SL,

ToCotSg ers.

For Khoe Repairing, thoroughly and neatly done, bring your work toTHOS. H. TAYLOR, the popular shoemaker, Decatur street second shop from Marcy <k Mrcray'a drug

store. Charges moderate.

MECRAY'S Grocery Store, No. 75 WASHINGTON ST., CAFE HAY CITY. )Vc have introduced. Meats —Lamb, Beef and Veals, into our stock, and can supply allcomers in any quantity. PRICES MODERATE.

CART. FRANKS’ Old Vlrgiala Tobacco & Cigar Store Us. 31 WssMsytsa tb. Caps May. First class Cigars and Chewing Tobacco. Rase Hail Nalerials and Ki.hlng Tackle, sheet

MILLINERY STORE, F1EK AVE_ NBAS WASHINGTON ST. Cape May City. K.J. Fashionable Millinery A Fancy Goods, Embroidery Silks And stamped Linen Goods. Stamping d toe to order. Mias Jennie Waloa. ■ Q. f. SMITH, Importer and Commission Merchant. FANCY GROCERIES. Hole Importer of the well known LATOUR 0L1VE0IL THE FINEST. THE PUREST. THE BEST IN THE MARKET. C. F. SMITH, 102 Walnut St, Phils

WEST END LAUNDRY AD work dope In a test class manner and at Good, called for and delivered. WS.APPLY AT WEST END IlOTEL-ga

WEST JERSEY EXPRESS CO.,

FOBWAIIDLBS o

Moneys, Valuables and Merchandise To all points In the United Statta. Orders loe goods to be forwarded by expreroi will be carried without charges and promptly delivered by our own messengers, so as to insure, as far as practicable, tbe mum of good* on the same day. HORSES AND CARRIAGES Can be sent by express on fast passenger trains WASH HAMPERS Containing clothing to be laundried will be carried between Philadelphia nr Camden, and Cape May at 11.00 for the round trip, and w ill be called for and delivered upon days specified by sb pperu. Caps May office—Comer Washington and Jacksou streets. Philadelphia office—Ferry Building, foot of Market slreeL ROBERT STRETCH, Gen. A go in. Palace Steamer Republic Philadelphia' and Gape May, Stopping both ways at Wilmington daily; at Chester Tuesdays and Saturdays. Grand Special Excursion to the Delaware Breakwater next WEDNESDAY. Fare, 50 cents, including larc over D.B. and C. M.R. R. Train leaves 1.00 P. M.

Fnr* for Round Trip, .... 0I.2S. Nluglf Trip (either way) - 75«'. Horses and Carriages taken. Baggage and Freight Transported. Office at Union Transfer Co., Washington and Jackson Streets. BTI.I.IAH K. RTKNEIX, General Jlanwgcr. Ill CfcMtUl Street, Philadelphia

THE STANDARD COCOA OF EUROPE. Van Houten’S Cocoa

"BEST A GOES FARTHEST.”

Royal Cocoa Factory, Weesp, Holland.

A Delicious Substitute for Tea and Coffee and Much Bet* ter than either for the Stomach A Nerves.

Perfectly Pure. INSTANTLY PREPARED— EASILY DIGESTED.

It nssdt only a tingls trial to con vinca anjrons of tha emyreUritg of thi, •riflmMl, pmer, rmlmUr On* a. ovsr any Othtf brand aithsr foreign or domastio It is put up in 1-8,1-4,1-2 and ons lb. cant, and can bs had of any rwliabU gvuosr In the a S. "0HCE TRIED, USED ALWATS." N. Y. Branch! IOG A 108 Roade St.

DILLON’S, Corner Washington and Jackson Streets. Of which the well-known JOHN J. RATTY is proprietor, is one of the most central and popular resorts on the Island, at which the finest Wines and Liquors and Rochester Beer can always be had, together with superior accommodations for parties. Handsomely appointed parlors for ladies.

ICE! ICE! ICE! "-Knickereocker Jce^o. OF PHILADELPHIA BUFPLncS DOTH IS, RR8TA URAXT8 and COTTA ORfl WITH PURE EASTERN ICE. -Also withcoat: coal: coat: coal BKXT QUALITY CAREFULLY I'KEl'AKKD FOR FAMILY USE, AND . FULL WEIGHT GUAKANTEKD.

Powell’s Hotel and Bestanrant, \o. 8 WaMhlngton Ni„ Cape Mat), X. J. CHOICE WINES AND LIQUORS. BOARDING BY THE DAY OR WEEK. Agent for the Germania Brewing Company. Bottled G.ods a Specialty for Family Use.

■r JOHNSON, Whalitiigton Htreet. near P. O., Cape BarA Large and »>U«»hctrd Stock ol FINE SHOES AND SLIPPERS. A Full Assortment of Wall P**ar eoadanllj on band.

IP. F, ©Ids Mon, Manufacturers of their Celebrated 1 mod 2 H. P. GASOLINE ENGINES. Also a Pull Line of from S toGO H. P, ^Vertical Eijgiijes^ When in need oi Power oi any description, don’t iail to write direct to P. F. OLDS & SON, LANSING, MICH.