THY HANDS ARC TV»AIN-

,t lMU-k. willi Mow ou Mow; By onr, with loll, wltli lirrloM uioU, Makv ihou rlykiimi trow! WhtU-ion.iu» n. nf in crlN'ratr; Whllp rm-V- uuUrwn ol work iiwaJt; Our linn 1 lo war luu>t |>lrd$i-; Uu*( ■wiiip, willi our, lIn- urtlsr! riiv knmU arr twain; !•> our, let Kaiu llrap hljsli I by xoMrn Mom Uv our, thru »rlvr, «by Joy may live In li\r» l.rrrn anil |»o<ir: In-l Ho lianil tlurr In 4 Ultwi ly But Unit auotbrr rajtrrlv f'roni roJTrPr bu£r aao U.'rp May Mr» tiotlV luiutins Mirrp! Tbv hamU are twain; by our, wltb pain Solar fast •otnr lofty rraic Uv our, thru rla»p wnnr brutlirr'* cru»|i \Vbo rlx- may downward drag' Thy tiftud* are’twaln for -rlf iu vain! Thy band*' dr*pair ulniU prlp but air If liolb .iarr clutch tbr *ky And Ira' c a brotbrr dir. — L. M. Waterman, lu Sunday School Time*.

latflU J

* ^ Bj T$m f. Morgan. The man from the metropolis visited

tbr Duffy House again the other day.

"I am astounded lo seo you still

alive," be said, to the gentlemanly clerk. "You still invent. I learn, and I feared that by thia time some of your numerous Inventions h»d hurried you into a yawning sarcophagus. There was alsi^a rumor to the effect that the Koelklller had resumed business at the

old stand.”

The clerk made no reply, but cast a look of reproach at his t reducer. The clerk may not be right smar\ as an Inventor, but when it comes to casting looks of reproach at people he Is no arnateur. (Parties having looks of reproach which they desire cast with neatness' and dispatch will do well to call on ths clerk of the Duffy Honae). "Why, oh, why." went on the man from the metropolis, ••will you persist in Inventing when you are well aware, that, in the day you wot not, it Is liable to rise up a£d smite you Into the middle of next week? And It wouldn't surprise me one bit if it caught you some time when you really thought you

were wotting.

"Yea.” he continued, catching his breath, "look not upon the Invention when It Is red, or. ere you wot of It, the razzle-dazzle and plllyweewee will be singing over your grass-grown grave. As an awful warning, let me cite a case where an Immoderate indulgence In inventing very nearly scientifically administered the culinary' operation to the Individual goose of a wellknown scientist. Did you read the account of a shower of flesh out In Urn western part of the state?" The clerk had read It. "Well, that was all that was left of a once pensive row. the property of Pro- | fesaor Socrates Addle, and worth one : month's salary of any man's money." ' The mac from the metropolis girded j up his voice, so to speak, and proceed- I

«$■'

"For a long time Prof. Addle's resi- j denee was overrun with rata They i took unwarranted liberties with the j household shrine*. They entered the ^ rooms without wiping their feet on the 1 mata. held convections in the garret. ; and fought In the parlor. Without regard for the feelings of the owner of the building, they even Invaded thp • professor's private den and there swap- | ped lies and bragged-about what terri- i ble fellows they used to be to bind | wheat. •’Anxious as the scientist was to get ] rid of them, he did not resort to traps 1 or poison. He was too much of. an i inventor for that, and if be couldn't ' . annihilate them by some unique and original method, they could go unanni- j Minted. "For a long time Prof. Addle’s think- ! ing accomplished nothing. But he was ! not discouraged. Addle was as deter- | mined an Inventor as ever blew up j his grandmother, and was a good deal i like the mills of the gods, over at New Harmony. Indiana, which grind exceed- j Ing slow, but get there just the same, j He did not grow Impatient, but wound ( up Ms thinker with renewed energy . ‘The result was his justly-celebrated I Disseminator. It was compounded of powders, which were not only pleasant to the taste, but harmless while dry. But when confined and moistened, say. for sake of argument, when soaked by a copious drink of water, after having been swallowed, the remit was of a curprising and spectacular nature. "After a rat bad partaken of the powder he would meet a friend and be asked out to take a drink. A little later the victim would delect an Intense yearning in his Internal economy. He would cast a reproachful look at bis friend, and remarking. ‘We meet bnt to sever.’ would explode with an elaborateness which showed that, while he might not be much of a rat. In many ways, as an exploder he knew his business. Every now and then there would be a squeak, a small pop with far cn It. and another rat would be gathered to Ms ancestors. "The Disseminator and bowk of water were always at band. and. In the wee small hours of night, the professor would awake to hear the unobtrusive pop of another rodent. It got so that be could almost tell the hours of the Mght by the gentle fulmlnation of the rsds- The leter the hour the more frequently they popped. "So delighted was the Inventor at the successful working of the invention that he resolved to-ex at the Dimeminator's rid the town of euperfli • The fulminate was increased to tea' times Its original strength, and dally placet’, la ronnecUoa with raw meal la sundry handy pieces. "As a dog (z-.i naina:or, the* Disscm-

4

Inator was a howling eucqsaa. A terrible cplden-'i seemed prevailing among the ranine*. Somebody's pet 'purp.' upon returning from s scouting or courting expedition, would take a drink, sit down In the psrlar In the midst of those who lo.ed Mm. and suddenly explode wltb a pop that spilt Mr %lde from here to youu.r. "At Ml hours end in all sorts-of places, sudden 'puffs!' would be heard and another dog would be rent from extremity to circumference, and on the dallying breeze would flo&t a yell and hberj of disconcerted dog-hair. "Had this state of affairs continued. Addle would soon have fatally disseminated all the, rats and dogs In town. ” 'The best-laid plans of mice and men oft-'Umej bite .Lite a serpent and sting like a gad-snapper." to quote the stirring words of one of ths slickest poets yiai ever scratched his head with a two-cent pencil. (That quotation seems a trifle tangled, but like the 'mills of the gods.' to which serious reference has been .made, H will get there alLtbe came.) "Prof. Addle was the possessor of s bos—a'bovlne^-that was In hts eyes, all that a cow should be.'and be loped, bet accordingly. He fed apd attended her hlmtelf. It was Ms own hands that wooed forth the ^cceal stream, and when the kicked In her open-hearted, unreserved say. Addle did his owe jumping out of the way. “One afternoon, the cow manifested strange symptoms. She Matted In a low. soulful key, rolled her eyes appealingly upward, and seemed ss if about to have a fit or compote an Ode to the Cowslip. Addle was alarmed and. ruslilng hastily Into Ms den. be jgan a frantic search for one of Mi earlier Inventions—a condition pow der.or health compeller. "In uis haste be got bold of the wrong box. and proceeded to give the cod «n enormous dose of the Superer ogatory Can Is Disseminator. Then, the cow being inclined to wet her whistle, she was permitted to imbibe a full bucket of water. After which there occurred a complication of sur prises that nearly curdled the red corpuscles In the reins of Prof. Soc rater

Addle.

"The cow gave a sudden start of affright as tfx experienced a novel InternaV sensation, and. the next moment Addle found himself kicked clean through the barb wire fence w-hlle the row went out of thi yard In the opposite direction, wlthodl waiting for the gate to be opened, and dasaed down the street like aa airy wMri-

wind.

"As the Disseminator began to get in IU work the cow began to swell and by thn time she got down town, wav fully twice her ordinary slxe and still spelling. "A large crowd had gathered around a street auctioneer, and Into IU very midst bounced the now horribly Moat td cow. bellowing like a blown-out boiler at dusk. Within the circle she forced her way. and casting a re praachful glance about her. like Soc rate? with the poUcfti bowl In 'Ms bands, proceeded to throw her whole soul into exploding. "The Inventor, hurrying down the road, heard a heavy 'kerbunk'—saw n wild scattering of the crowd—beheld r. chunk of Cesh with a piece of twinlc ling tall to it soaring aloft, and the ancuoner sailing, after It with a long word sticking cut of his mouth. " There came a burst of awful sound, The oow. oh. where was she?* 'The areount of the shpwer of flesh in that locality tells of her whereabohts." And the man from" the metropolis gathered unto himself his gripsack and hied himself in the direction of the midnight train. Fact': bnt the Invidious clerk has already covered one whole side of the Duffy House with figures, trying to clpUer out whether, or not the man froiu the metropolis lied.—Good liter

ature.

tAterest i

An Overworked Woman. I stopped to get a glass of milk tbs other «iay at a Jersey farmhouse, said the commuter, and the female bead of the establishment, who had six child ren playing around, was inclined tc repine at her hard luck in having so mpeh werk to do. “I run this whole farm." she re marked. In a tone In wMch Indicated that she was ready to resign. “How many acres have you?" I in quired. “A hundred and forty.” "Oot any stock?" “Ten head of cattle, two cows, sly hogs and work horses for the place.’ "And you run the whcle business?” I asked. "Indeed. I do; every hide an* hair of it." ske sighed. “Don’t you hire some help?" "Of course, but ’tain’t hired help that takes the load effen one’s body.’ There was some philosophy in that and I paused a minute. "Haven’t you got a husband?’ J then asked, sympathetically. •Yes." *be said -sternly, "but yen soe. I have to run him, too."—New York Mall and Express.

A Clever Swindle. A mean swindling game has been played on ar Indiana fanner who entertained over night a stranger claim ing to be a minister. In ths morning a young couple appeared and asked the way to the minister’s, sayimt Ibev wanted to get marriM. The farmer i bought of the minister who was stay Inc with him. and suggested that the couple-be married r.'ifg* The supposed minister performed the ceremony. The farmer and his wits signed the certlflrste as wltaesses. He cently tlje fanner was ootifled that s note for «1CM was dse. They had signed a nou instead of a marriage llqeas*. The swindlers had discount

eg the note.

Overwork and Worry. To eat a grape a minute for an hour tt a time, and to repeat this performance throe or four times a day. esling very little else meantime but dry bread, may-seem a monotonous way ofspending the time. Tais treatment works wonders for thin, nervous anaemic people whose digestions havt—gol >ut of order from worrying or overwork. Ir is no mere quack prescription. but a form of cure recognized and advised by many well known piyilctens. Grapes are. peruapi. th.'most digestible of any fruit In existence — New York News. Woman Aeronaut* Record. Miss Houlton has just beaten Mine Sauniere's long distance record for women aeronauts. Mme. Bauniere recently floated from St. Cloud to Bayreuth. Bavaria, a dls lance of about 4B0 miles In an air

linn.

Miss Moulton left the Aero club grounds In St. Cloud at S p. m. lost Tuesday, accompanied by Count Gas Ullon de St Victor, and descended at le next day near Breslau. Pros stan Silesia, a distance of 6?5 miles In v straight course. Santos .Dumont,-fresh from enthusl astic reception in Brazil, has promptly taken up Ms old work. He Is parti c-ulariy occupying himself rt present with bis passenger boloon Mo. 10. Captain Von Corvln. Count Heflry de La Vaulx and M. Chardonnel have lust rklted Santos Dumont's aerodrome. Von Corvln. who Is In (-large of the ballooning department of the Austro-Hungarian army, under Archduke Leopold Salvator, was much Impressed wltb the technical features of Santos Dumont's new "Aerooef (airsMp). and rays the archduke wants to be present si the first ascent of No. 10 -Chicago Inter-Ocean. College Girls’ Athletics. President Eliot of Harvard does not btlleve that women can Indulge much In athletics without Injuring themselves. and condemns boating, putting the shot And such violent forms of exirtlon for women. "Women will never compete with nea's^cclieges In athletic^.’’ be said •Aehtiy. "I ree absolutely no possl’bility -of that over taking place. The women do not seek competition, and it would be of no benefit to them. Wcme not ogglnally Intended for ;ucb violent exercise as man. and s*me of the things that tney go into must strain them. For women topur the shot-ls preposterous. “There may be women -living who arc made in such a'strange and unnatural way that it Is not Injurious fer tbem to put the shot, but for (he majority of women It would be earagh to itiri them for life. Boating also Is I '.*ad for .women. -Women's colleges do j not have craws to any great extent, i but the women who do go Into It will not last long In their .alhletic life. Women's athletics are a good tMng In moderation, but for them to try to do all that ihelr brothers do Is s mistake. | They will caly hurt themselves In the attempt.’' When to Shake Hand*. When to shake bands, and when nnly to bow, cither on being Introduced or on first meeting afterward, perplex many people. Anxious to do right, not to be either too familiar or too forward, .they are not qnlte sure of their ground, and often having done the one wls-i on reflection they had done the other. 1 should like to make the why and the wherefore of this matter clear to my readers, as no hard and fast rule of etiquette can be laid own. The ox ceptlon* are so many that ft cannot be said definitely that this or that should always be done. It greatly- depends upon by whom yon are Introduced, and to whom you are Introduced, whether you tow only or shake bands. When Introduced to strangers, or when they are Introduced to you by a friend you should how without extending your band, and they should do the esme. There are many occasion* when It would be quite cut of the question tu offer to shake bands: for Instance, when Introduced to fellow guests at dinner party you should bow only, although, when separating, now and ■gain you may chance to' have become intimate enough to shake hand*. Beauty of Mirth. What a difference to the sonny smile of welcome, which lights up the whole fees, and makes one feel that your coming Is a real pleasure which has been locked forward to! •The plain-featured glM. with a happy genuine smile, U far more attractive and fascinating that the dollfreed girl on wboee pretty face is never reflected a happy spirit and pleasing disposition. Baal beealy U

perfectly beautiful to people whif understand them, and even more so tc fiose who live with and love .them. Many girls possess the ides that the mirthful laugh and smile are un bococirg. and should be * restrained except when at home. Why they should think ro Is rather hard to un demand, for the mirthful smile Is one cf the prettiest. It be'okens cheerfulness and animation, charac teristics which are far too rare amoay girls of today. What girls should guard against, however. Is the boisterous laugh which Is apt to distort the features and grate on '.he nerves. It generally creates the Impression that It Is tco loud and long to bo genuine Feminine Footwear. Daintiness snd grace nre the tea tuies of the shoes and slippers that mold and matron will wear on "occs sioos" during the gay season. Whether for dancing or simply for afternoon fwa snd receptions the high-heeled very high Indeed, shoes seem to be the thing that shoe makers beguile their fair customers Into wearing. Foi the meet part these are strapped and many cf them have huge rosettes of fluffy mallne or flat ones of panne vel vet just at the tip of the arching in step. Then. too. stiff, quaint rosettes of satin sometimes are perched where the shoe Is tied. Slipper and shoe this year match iho gown in tone, and the hose Is alsc always cf the same hue. In the foot gear s little choice Is permitted tht fair one. for the shoe may be of kid. cllk or satin, one being as fashionable a« the otljer. These rosy be plain or studded with pearls. Jet or steel, ac cording to fancy. A greet favorite with the young woman of today the ••rapped shoe, many wearing those strapped from the instep away down ty (he edge of the toe. The footwear provided Tor the wee ones by fond mammas Is just a* dainty as those made fer the elder people. Great care for an artistic finish Is riven to babies' shoes. White buckskin shoes are especially fashion able for the little tots who do not know the meaning of the word. For the man baljy smooth pale - russet Is considered the thing that adds to hit manikin toilette.—New lork Ameri

Same in Any Age. "When I was young we had a pro pc' respect for our parents," Is an expre* I cion with which we are all familial and If one were In the leoti inclined to taka a gloomy view of things the parental pessimist might seem to be developing at an alarming rale., but 'There's nothing I either good or bad. hot thinking maker ft so." and if girls are being perpetual !y told that freedom Is their rightful position, that they ought not to have more restrictions than their brothers, that mothers want "managing" and •‘training." and all the rest of it, what wonder if they begin to fancy them selves always right and their elder* always wrong; and. again, when moth era and lathers are having it perpet ually dinned In their ears that the present cystem of education makes girls selfish and Insolent., that most girls are unmanageable nowadays, they, too. come to believe a large portion of it. and. seeing through these lenses (he faults that are common to all girls In all ages, imagine the present gen eration to be the worst on record. Doubtless we do err m our present lax system of dealing with young peo pie. who, like young anlfnnla. need discipline, and, when they come to years of discretion, are always grateful for having had It But the spirt 1 of camaraderie which ought to exist between a girl and her mother, the reverent lore which the former should have for the latter, and the unselfish devotion and pardonable pride wMch the mother should show in her daughter. are not to be produced by encouraging girts to air their "grievances" snd parents to blame their children This sort of thing docs not make home life sweet, nor docs It tend lo aid domestic peace.—pittsburg Dispatch. Fashion Notes. Pastel blue is a new and fashionable

color.

Chiffon velvet Is the elegant fabric fer dlneer cowns. When the voice Is shad'-d Into threo tones It is moot fashionable. White cloth is one of the prettiest fabrics for Jhe reception gown, espe Ually If tt Is relieved with embroidery or Insertions of some oontncUng tint Odd shade* of velvet, made up in picturesque style with deep pointed lace cuffs, lace collar, deep-jeweled girdle, on long flowing and graceful lines, nre much favored for house wear this season. The latest sad smsAest staffs for house gowns nre all of the (ran* par-

AIDER AGENTS WANTED Jo each town to take orders for our new High Grade

Guaranteed Bicycles.

New 1903 Modelm

Complete 08.7B

fj" Guaranietd lllcti 3rsde $10.75

-omgwrwmm,” A Beauty $12.75 “Mmudorf.” Road Racer $14.75

no better bicycle at any price.

Any oiler male or model you want at one-third iwual price. Choice of any standard tires and nest equipment on all our bldycles. blronyc.t quo 'unite. Wo SHIP ON APPROVAL C. O. D. to any one without a cent deposit and allow IQ DAYS FREE

taken In trad* by our OMrsso retail m Slljoakas snd Bodrl*. sued as n<-»

~ I0TBUY Ufsi'^i/So'ru.T.'E 's.'s.

* i goods of all kladt. at half n

a world of m " ' ~

’ S3 io $8

WM. S. SO AW, OS ITS JJLXj OOim?,A.CTOI?.

DEALER IN LIKE, BRICKS, SAND, CEMENT • AND BUILDERS MATERIALS. TgleribQliy po- *21 ELMIRA STRBBT. B. S. CURTIS, ^Plumbing, Steam and Gas Fitting.^ ALL ORDERS KECEIVE PROflPT ATTENTION. SHOP—No. 11 Decatur St. CAPE MAY, N. J.

IF YOU ARE A FARMER

AND HAVE OHE CENTffi.

Buy a postal card and send to Ths New York Tribune Fsrtner, New York (Sty, for s free specimen copy. The Tribune Farmer is s National Illustrated Agricultural Weekly for Farmer*and their fsmlika, and slaod* at the bead of the agricultural prefa. The price Is 91.00 per year, but If you like It you can eecnre It with yonr ewo favorite local newspaper, the Cars fasT HutALO, at a bargain. Both p*per* one year only 91-80. Bend ypnr order snd money to the Cars Mat Herald. v < THE'»HI8T0RY»0F»CAl > £°MAY°CDURtY > *w From THE AB0BIGIHAL TIMES To THE PBESEHT DAY Embracing | Ad account of the Aborigine; The Botch in Delaware Bay; The Settlement of the County; The Whaling; The Growth of the Village*; The Revolution and Patriots; The Establishment of the New Government; The War of 1812; J The Progress of the County; and The Soldiers of the Civil War BY LEWIS TOWNSEND STEVENS. 480 PAGES. 48 ILLUSTRATIONS. 31 CHAPTERS. 5 APPEDICES

t kind.

being of la >.c. Liberty

of lace, chiffon. cMf-

Sent PastpaM aa Receipt af 82.00 by LEWIS T- STEVENS, Publisher, 509 Washington Street. CARE MAY. N. X

SAMUEL E. EWING ... General Contractor ... HOUSE MOVING A SPECIALTY; Post Office Adirass, Cap; May Court House, H. J. Paint! Paint! Paint! tWl r - -U' HY DON'T TOO PAINT? Bnt when yuu di. u*e. V VP—IW nothing bnt the best materials. I peinlai—SD ■ J-M-property, apply them thoroughly sad rapidly, snd exercise - _w^pod tsrie In the selection of colors. Guarantee all work, cheerfully •^rernfsb estimates, and promptly attend to oil orders. A compfete line of Paiats, Oil, Stains, Putties, Filler*. Brusbe*, Varnishes, and other Coloring Material* of highest quality. Lafayette Bennett 103 Jackson Street, - Cape May, N. J. PRACTICAL HOUSE. SIGN AND DECORATIVE PAINTER. AGRNT FOR J. E. PATTON'S 80NPH0OF PA1NTB. -y^_^. glT V p * ci * 1 ‘ tl ' tct _ lo ° to k 1 "* coowncts, asd handle esdnrively the products of the PITTSBURG PLATE CLASS CO. They are of finest qnality and an ower i» price thu fhe TOmmcm grader, which give nothing bat dissatisfaction. AS kind* of piste, white, window and colored gloss can led in stock. jsjto Pzoxi73ts J^gcxrx.pxajcsm.

MORPHINE

lor drogs'or tbeirnattual _ _

You See l liis?

Suppose your Advertisement were here?

•O SO THOUSANDS OR OTHSh PEOPLE.