F zffiW* ' - — J -J "

VOI.tfME XVI.

CAPE MAY, NEW JERSEY, WED1STE8DA.Y, JUISTE 39, 1870.

WHOLE NO. 787.

(teas Wait BMiiea liistiofj. r,KrsciIi*ass.!5^S" yvaJT^maiTraubto by Cunlng Leach * Ware, Farmer* ' Tool*. - Hard wars, etc.. Cape May. Bough A Son*, 10 a Del. At., Phil*. I Hum, Sharpkos A Co., Fertiltaors, jQ> south Del. A*. Phila Enoa R Wiluaeji, Cape Hay. j Jbkk H Towrsend, '• " l Join B Homus, Court Ilouae. { RT Mn.l.Ed, Cape May city. i 8 H Obey, Oamdcn. ' « W Rxkves, cor Oth A Locu*t, Phil. , Geo W Sitmt, 10 Waahlttfon at C • May dty ^ , T 8 clabe, Washington at, Cape May U K Pftimss, Mansions!. M Bearbwood, Dccauir at. " R 1> EuauaDs A8ox, Cold Spring. c S 1J DA VM, 48 Dey at Hew York. w li Kilo AIM, 5 Manalon SL Cape May I. war-H A Witre fire. Maw rllw Cape

Jo* Hoot an, AM Market at, PhUz. 1 H Smith, Decatur at. Cap* May. .1 I* Sloan, Jackson St. Howards ft La-worrit., find ft xarhst au. Phila. Oaal.aa* WW .lo Jn urLLKNoaii, landing. Oho Hiloueth, Jar-iaon at. Cape M. R 6 SotDRB, Oa» May dty Hoffsian ft Wu.Uaxs, " II AND, WARE 4 On, Ware ft Eldred^b, " S C PBICEft Co. Fcrvzst, C*|*i May Jajte H HMTTtl, Court florae. l'HittE A CO., Perry fc Chpc May Maikkt WiLUARVMromawlIle, J H Hxtto, Court IlW — ' l)c J F LXAKlffu, Court House. D>«n»u lira. Mabcy A MacRAT, cor. Washington A Decatar at*. I in* J 8 Kennedy A Sow, Care May We M Wilson, 908 Market at E^t-Ma W. O. Kiioad-s Agl Earth Cloeet to. Leach A' Ware, Cape May-city R I> Edmi ki* A Sow, " Gm> IllLDRETIt, M W ti.Lt A Ma, DennUTtllr. Jab Walton A Co, 418 Walnnt at. P. IViR* Hew, 337 X. 3nd at, Phila I.EACK A Wake, Jirkson at M WtUJAES, Dcimisvllk Leach A Wabh, Jackson »t. ' R Ti Etimttsrw ft row, Johnson A Ucotue*, Jsckaoct at N V Price. Furry at. SI WU.U AEa, llcnnb rills. l.K.tca ft Ware. Osyc May II Keedekicea, Camden. £ K FOETTN EE A SON, " 11.1.1. , MiMaxir'* Hotel, Jackaoo start, .lota MrMakin, proprietor. • -Cottage By the Sea," Jao Femur, | "Ju^NLflooae," Phila. C. Locke. "United State* Hotel," Walnnt aL, : Philafta H.U K P STtTaa, Manaioo SC. Cape May. , 1 H SErnt, Deeatar *1 1 John Xt Lycrtt, General Agant for 1 Ca rn MaTSctcal Fib a, J W LyX avion a a Lite. Rct Jo* Hammilt, Agont for county * X HUOEOOR, A pent CoaUneotal Lift In*. Ore, 8. SeariDr, H. J. Jeer B Schkllehoeh. landing. M WiLUAEa, DonnfariUr. J> A Xbwtor A Co., MBlrille, ^ I)as JS KERR edt ft Sob, Cap* M*y, DrLhJarcy ft Mreray, Waahiogton A 1 lirratur *t«. Dk CLabe, New Yrtk, London Rem- | DE^PotBR. Baltlmorvi Cough Syrup, ■ Cure for llh< Umatilla, etc < D« L»aRT, 388 X jUtrt, Phila, Lift ■ ■UriHuuilE , HiHat Apr- Onrs Mr*. 8 Hawkins, Washington at. • Ma* M A BntDRn. Fhlla.UJ are H Smith, Court Honac ^ lin X* tanki. 10 WaaMngtat «. 8 R Ludlar, Cape May. M Willi AEa, DembriUr Bai-oii ft Horn, PWfcda. DtXOR, Sat atlbS* A ca. Fhilada DM Kkxnrdt^ i*8ol<*0»pe May Dm Marly A xIbceav. ooc WaahJtEtK W LTCRTLOI«R Cape May KBSWAis. niLDERTH A TaTLOB, PtRTT wL DMFoxASox, MOa»rthJth,PhlL , Jow.a S LE?ft oSfrNwhama, P. jsGA«u^"sjra.). J n BESRAErrTBaO, Jackaoo at K V -TrTMAOT,'Bl£fc^:itdll, Cap. R B SWAM, Real XMte A Rent, ronHAETR^AF^RTew, cTlUfrath, B rHoRRRE, Agsftrtoger-E. Fam-

rTte CAPEIAY OCIAI WAY!. . PublUhMl Waakly, at CAPH MAY CITY. N J. I C S. Migralh ft Atron Oarrehon. IK ADVANCE. CA*R EATD FOE ADTBETniBC. HalLTwarty r*»« tirt; lAtt^to. qwatMly wttkeatWUlMsl 'tup. " JOB PRINTING. Obwalan, EUl-IaU., OWi *, X.m, As. Rtally RUHat W Katla., >•' at §»sintsn darts.

JtlOI R. WILLIAM*. PRACTICAL ARCHITECT, *"r Caw* MAT Crrw, N. 1. - . AROHITBCr AND BUILDER, Mj Car* .Mat CmLJL J. *. W. IHIO, * * m>**rr-i r-uw axo vorr at awcxm, John B. BiKnan, Attorney ft OeenasCar-at-Iaw, Solicitor. M.aaritm a examireb in charceet,' r eowwr coilEiaainww" atsl.NOTAKl FTJ1LIC. J tapw May Cwtitt II— w. Row lowr. II. T. niLI.KR. ATTORNEY AT-LAW, orrnr,-*t.t cot. feeev a rotmt m, cape tiLAMti, s.i. na E»F*tt*l*MaatM*twa*«*a*tWU*afc ' a. ■« nay. ATTORREFrtr.UW, MATT CM, tOUOTOI, , * cxAHtRca a cRiRCRir, Ftwawwatot eTIAw rtaaa ol Caya Ma* Ccuaty "iu AuHatalaf Pk*t RaltaaAl BaaR. Dr. J. r. lcrbbImc. D**™- OFFICE »AT*I Si CAPR EAT COURT HOltt— Tawt*Ajt aa* g-T— t.M.aaa.ia, 0aa*n»waCaa>-JaM ^yUAlAR M. WILAOR, PACKAGE AXD JOBBING DRUGGIST, NO. aota MAIIKI-.T BTBEESTi PlHLaPRtPHlA. Dr. E. B. riaUII|Mi. nonaonrnic riisicus, OPFtCK AMD EUlDERac-Rw. t» WA1ROFFICE EOORS-7 tat A. M. I ta t A T«a* ISAAC K. STAUFFER, WITCHES & JEWELRY, 148 NORTHtfECO.VD ST., Cor. of Quarry, Philadelphia. trwaa tu raid i THOMAS 8. CLARK'S BOOT ^LND SHOE STORE, OX WHHIX6TOX BTltllT,^ OENTT, LADIES' . cHiLnaER'a aottTa. . .. . -niry* taau*i!!l iWiyiliii WORK MADE TO ORKR. REPAIRING NEATLY DONE. D. EdmumdiaSON COLD SI'ltlNO. N. J., " WIW> a hwMtal faiiattalil Fail I ttairl "Winter CSooalaa, OtiilllUH** DRT GOODS, GROCERIES, BOOTS AND SHOES, AM, Tin. Wo.vlea, Earthrs and Hardware, ftc. • uporlor Quality Flour, Furniture TfiuBNirunE. JOSEPH WALTON A CO., OABIMKT MAKERS. Ha. na WALRtrr IT. F»Ua*alp»L. s^55£SgiS5i?S Wa 'aloblwi KTVaraltat., aad aW, SSF» , tJUIE arctlRD DTAERT FUliamWE STORE. _ laSW^X' VwaSrtlM'^an'a'ila'tJl

L ^klect forar. J la raaar UtUw wklrta; A aklrer naaa alow* U. traok, I la aylaad, talw, ot ylala ; ! Dal*1a*'*rey. ot rata. | niikkkwUlitmilkltiiM. Tit ,»rj wwalbtr UU, lot .luck. Flow yoatar lara o rooat* t ylrtl itiJSS'.'muJTm la tw™ • W" «ro~. j' Aad, o, w« mils aaow tb* a»oU < Aad Ull* La wkalUty U) i1 Original <£■ Selected. '

A. BLACK RIBBON. The gentlemen of Core Iloues aat ' upon the plana, anoking aad looking at the tea aa It tumbled In, whan the evening yA iiypn with piled-op baggag* and rawmgsri, oomc muling down the tnrepikr, and made the - sweep which led to the hold. This, in lUcif, waa matter cnoagh br attention from the amy of somewhat dullhumored maaculinaa; hut when, in the " wake of the yellow old conch, Ju*t he- 1 rood its clouds of dust, a glittering 1 [• little pony-tnrriage idling swiftly on. a dozen pair of laiy eye* grew Interottoa au expcctanL "Whoa!"' tuTlod the drlrer. Tho ] coach drew uji with a aekuUOc dour- ' iah, and tho '..-eating hic«» atood \ i, painting with the tug through tb . heavy ton 1, while Urn driver Imp! ' . down, and with ranch tumbling and : crashing of enormous trunks and c ndL kaa screaming of diacootcnled tmwelcra from the body ef the rehlcfc, the ' , old atage waa unladen. Meanwhile, the pony carriage, holding two girls, - rolled smoothly up to a aide-door, and 1 three waller* were Instantly in attend- ' 1 once upon them. i The ladies alighted. One wa* a 1 brilliant bloode, with a round, exquia- , it* pink face, a banner of curia, that ' \ glittered like gold, falling from beneath a little jockey-cap, and a foot that brought out a brace of cys-g lasses from the plana, She Inapt Ugbtly^ujnn j companion, who followed gracefully, ' and the two dtappeared at the private 1 door of the Core House, while the per- 1 fret little turnout was taken around to ° tho atabica. " Who are they?" aaked Paul Han- 1 over, withdrawing his cigar from his ^ t eye* on the friend at his elbow . ' Fane King, who was looking 1 thoughtfully out at sea, replied, quiet- ' ly, that he did not know. "IPs Miss Psyson, of New Yodc," ' | said Win McKcczlc, who knew everybody. "At any rate that's her turn- 1 " Which onef" "The blende, 1 tuppoac. I never ' met her, but ahe waa at Cape May with 1 my slater bat season. Nice, ain't ahef" " Who la the etbor otwl" ' "I don't know. IVir cousin. 1 1 presume. Good abonldcra, but bar 1 tat-strlng* were so broed, I couldn't ' an her face ray well. It don't mat- 1 ter; the *ther one la trump*. Two 1 J gentleman In the coach, ao tossy about the luggage. 1 Hooover and King rekpred to their < ' cigars; the stage Tolled out of sight, . and the sounding quiet of the seashore ' reigned again. But everybody was ' ^ thinking, mare or loo, of Misa Pay- ' The ladles appeared at rapper.— 1 There were only five ef their party— 1 the cdfl gentleman, the twu young la- ■ A tea, ami an Invalid child of thirteen, 1 ' with her nunc. It waa soon remarked that they appeared auBcient for I thcmarlv 1 ami neither sought nor re- , edred ar-pialniancee. The thee of th - i blonde girl was as jotit without the | joekey-ha: sa with It, but Uw profile •fber companion wa* oiily lobe eren. i A brood Uack ribboa, bound around < It-'H- ■— A nearly mnraaling a wealth I ' of rich brown hair, revcaWI only the ; aide- view of asetof regnbr fcotorca, i l and ooe smooth, freah cheek. " What can be tho matter qucatton- J ixl the ladiea, ear °f the other. ' "A birth-mark." " Perhaps a eaaoer." i "Oh,hortor»■', < " Poor girl! I wouldn't be so afflict- i J ed for a fortune.'' 1 "So, without tb* boot poaaibte to- | s formation on Use subject, Alice Fay ■ ion was decided to bo on objdoLof mis- i - offrrad the other ouc. I esoMot say that either appear:. 1 much aflketod by the regard of thorn around . then. They drove 1 their carriage, rode the rellhfting Bttle ^ pooim under the raddW-, bathed to • thKBSalxa, and Miss Msmd Poysoo - Hqth aMiinl the old gentienian '■ ! "unrie, " and be hod been heoro by l «peak of them at Ms nieces. Indeed, ; ifjt lad not beret for the hotel hooka. ;g=£S5 1 :

The fenaaa woe followed by a frantic i ay. 1 " Alice! O, Alice! she is drowning t ■ Soto ha! save her! save her!" A chorus of shouts and crimand ex- 1 clamattona aruec. Everybody saw c Alice 1 'ay son in the water, off some t etoep rocks, whose the depth waa thir- a ly fret Loog before it waa answered, Fane a King was seen striking out boldly for b IhcspoL T' > But bo had some forty rods to swim c and It was probable tliat Alice Psyson I had sunk for the second time, while b the strong tide swelled high against '■ the rocks. It was prohoblo thgt slm would he dashed to death before he o could reach her. Hearts beat, cheeks si grew pale, ami sister* clasped each other In sympathy, and ottered sobs a |as that pel*,' toening tux appeared again for tb* third time. g J "Swim, man, swlml" mhouUvl the old uncle upon the, beach. .1 j "Save her, oh, for God's sake!' ' cried h j Maud, wringing ha hands. w But Within a few strokes of Fane ; King's outstroMfaad anas Alice disa;- h There wa* already death upon tor u|

- i closed eye* and pallid forehead. Ho thought it wa* a corpoe he cl*p*ed as ^ he dropped bemth the surface and * It was with difficulty he aroro to tho surface. Thrice the great bifiuwa rolled ' over bis head before be appeared — Then he could not swim, lit could only hold himself sod hi* burden off I the cruel recks. Already his arm was laormfod with Ddr sharp teeth. They had put out a beat, and it at , last come to their relief. As they lift- ' , I ed the scnselcas girl Into the wherry, they saw that the black ribbon had [ been tore from her face, and a large. j dull. wA. A-wAsbI ushk A|7*«i*l — j , ; it thowed more plainly in uk ouivr- ! wise deadly pallor of her sw<ct fee-, j . for awest It was, and pure as u child .... . , They covered face and flgure revcr- j cmly thinking her quite dea/l, and | ! rowed bock whiki Fane ftund li'u way up the rocks to have his" hand wrung speechlessly by the agonized old man. Maud could not speak for her overwhelming sobs. "1 don't think shots dead, Mr. Pay- . son," said Fane remembering, with a thrill, the silky hair which had washed against his lips. "She cannot be dead!" he murmured unbelievingly. She Wa* not dead. In three day* she appeared amongst them again, { fairer, gentler, sweeter than ever, and franldy grateful for the interest every- | body betrayed in ha. And then it came out that there had been a in lame ti was auto wuo was .iiu tunicas, aad Maud the poor coos in, though I 'as beautiful, as radiant hud perfect as ' Ilgbe. ' "lVfiat a pity!'' some still murmured, secretly. "She will ho married for mooey. poor thing, for no one could fm her with that dreadful disfigurement. She scans so good and . pallsnll I suppose it Is on account of . affliction. Well, one can't hare everything." Miss Alice Payson (with tlw black ribbon replaced) tried to thank Fane King on the fint day of her ro-oppear-but her hrown eye* filled, and the only said: "You ore young; life la sweet to you; . it was noble in yon to risk yours for , Mr. King." Fane's heart swelled so, that he hardly knew what was the matter with He tried to persuade himself that bo, a pnor artist, was not in . love . with an hcireaa, But somobow, the clasp of Alice Payson 'a light hand, and the gam of her tweet Ops, , affected him as no hand or eye* had era affected him before. The ice once broken, a bevy of gentlemen strove fbr Use attention of the . cousins. Paul Hanover was foremost. He was very land some. Coir, bril- ] graceful.— He was not poor, , cither. Fan* remembered that bltter- . aa be aaw him strolling with Alice on tho f-vci. or driving for bq the . pony-carriage. ■ Ills own peace . and comfort seemed suddenly gone. . Mtre Payrao** gentte fthwlilma* only , made him wone. lie wu startled one day, as If (hot, : Hanover remarking: "If you're not altogether gono with - the blue*, Fane, I'd Uke you to con- ■ gr-ilulatc a fdlew." Fane looked up at the assured smile and sparkling eye*, and'a Uttlo pallor I encircled hh, lip* under th* dark muti toefa*, but l*HUtH«rod, caielcssij : "Have you- woo your bet on the , trotting match!" "Pshaw! hong trotting matched . be stupid. Fane. Haven't I riding with Mb* Payran!" "Well!" "Well it is," prouetling around the and Rapping hi* finger* Uke castanets. "Dm the fond betrothed - of a lovely girl, after tho latest novel . AW, what have you to aay, my re*- ■ portable, snoping friend!" Fan* triad hard to command hhn- . self, and not betray his secret. "AUee Pfiyaon I* too good for you, ! l'anl,"bean*wrnd. with an attempt at being sage and composed, in which he I succeeded but tolerably, f "I dare say, but it Iran her. Fane." : '"Taint Aer!"— looking electrified, i "Osrtainly not. The money'* rery » well, but that defect of hert-ittadel- > lent* sobjsct, hot I really eraMa'f mar- - ry a girl with a disfigurement Uke ■ thai" "Yoo mean that you are engaged to . Maud!" sskod Fane lrnrtly bellerlng | snbuiwi and buriy b* wur, but a ■■■

certain pair ef brawn eyre, a white and n melodious voice, kept It alin and unreasonably vigorous. He abut 1 *— i c in hi* -liamber at and listened to the steady voice 1 of lha sea until he was brought to a lit- 1 tlo reason. Bat common aensc wu ' an unwelcome bed-fclkrw. The ladies were itanding upon the ' piazza in the early ijndight, when he 1 approached Alice Ihyson, to say good- ' They were dressed loFMhcir 1 journey, arid the little ponien were * diamping their silver bits, below. ' was talking to Maud, saucy and 1 beautiful in her jockey hot, as l'uno 1 found his w*y to Alice's ride. j ' "Good-bye, Mr. King. You will : ' and m us with your friend?" ' told. There was no ant very near. Ho I "No; I love you, end so 1 must my J I good-bye, for-cvcr, Alice." | » He saw the_ delicate features pale. J 1 thai instant u& Mr. Pay*on cumo " out, followed by a jwrtcr 1 with a largo voire in each hand. h "Ready, girb?" he called. "Come, " hurry, or we'll miss the train. <1 Alloc, with dnrncast tus, galh. rvd j up her gray trailing skirt. He " thought she wis going without a word, f' la

is but suddenly sis looked into his eye*, id "No, ceimc," she said. And then i . in a moment ale was gone, the dainty ie carriage glitteeng down the beach, d A wock latai he waited for her in - the costly spendor of her drawing . d room. She csnc down, giving him ff her soft hand* nor resisting bis em- 1 ^ "1 love you to." he murmured. i it "Do yon, re-sUy— with this disfigtir- I j Nile langhctl then, and slipped off d ) the black ribbsn. anil tlierv was one I '. ! smooth cheek is fair and perfect as the _ oalior. 1 i nan tuistered my ucu lor the toothr, | Hclir. It WOO, nothtnr luting, you ' ■ j M' hen l'a Jfiolsl Hznover his ha;>- = 1 1 piu. -s, ores much of:-. .» can he cx- 1 i prcood in WiuiU. hod oked as if there g was something uus.ud upon his mind, ' u hot when lie beheld Alice under her ' - bridal-rail, be seemed suddenly en- I lightened. ' "If 1 hadn't been alriUd of it black ' • ribbon." he murmured. "Imlphthavu r been fifty thousand dollars rlcluir. 1 a Probope. ' . — fit'-.— M» [ ' A Boston correspondent assures us , that the following, one of tlic many ' funny anecdotes that Portsmouth, , Ecw Hampshire, people tell of Mr. . [, Webster, has not appeared in print: • Dnring Mr./V\'.'s residence in this city, in Iris younger day*, there wbh 1 A fumiturc-d&fel r.ulucil J lulkios doing btninrsa in the town, who was n very well informed as mil as ambitious j r_ man. He wu patronized by Mr. 0 Webster, who often dropped into tho shop to order or superintend the mak- ! ing of some piece of furniture. Thar s opjwrt unities oleravt-rsing with a man ' *o tamed as Mr. W. were U.e delight ] ot Mr. .ludkltu'* life; and on the re1 moral of tlic former to Boston, the ' I payment of m considerable debt due " Mr. J. wu willingly left for future settlement. Attempts were rn*dc at various times to collect the debt— nl ; way* in tain. Finally, Mr. Judkln-s ' dclcrinlnsd to go to Boston anil seeMr. Webster llnuclf. He reached tlo8 city after a tag and litlguing sage- 1 ' ride, and, making a Sunday toilet, | ' proceeded to tho large, houot on the , 0 comer of nigh and Summer streets.— ' 8 ''Is Mr. Webster In!" asked he of the , •errant who answered tho btB. "Yes. • but he can not peftibfy be seen."— , "But I must see him"' "No; be is . entertaining some Washington gentlemen — they are dining." Mr. Judklns 8 had heard of snbtertogea, and helievcd . • not the Berring-mon. "Wen, I will coma In and wait till dinner is over." • The puzzkd servant, needed below i •Utr*, dedd»d to toko the Importunate I 8 stranger's name to hi* muter. Fancy I 8 the surprise of Mr. JudUns at aaeing i 8 Mr. Wet* tfipt- rushing lip stair* and , ' insisting upon the poos-man's joining , f his Triends al iho diniicr-uble! lie I would Inks no denial, and tarried him i ' forcibly almost , Introducing him u i •'my old and dear friend, Mr. Judktas, : ' of I'ortamoutii," aud w-atlng him be- : • tv.-frq a dliluigu.-' .l Itatonian and the Secretary of the Xavy; and, to use : the woFds oil!:* worthy cobtost-maker, , r "1 wu for four mortal bourn just as . Rood u any body; my opinion wu astod on* good many rabjeeU, aad i 0 th«y all seetasd to think I knew a good ; , dial. I wu Invited to visit them, and • to goto Washington, and crery body , asked me to drink wine with there; , and, by George! I made up my rajpd never to ask for aqr bill again. I wu 8 a poor man, and needed my money, ' hat 1 bod bora treated u I never expected to be treated In lUt world, and . ' i wu willing to pay for it."— Edi- ■ toe* DeawEU, In Harper's Hayarias , - _____ Yejles ago Mr. lllaxe wu agent *f , a tbeatre. There wu a formidable t and well-organized opposition to the 0 company, *nd M r. Blue rendered them such signal service in his capacity u " agent that they ware very sorry when . he tendered hi* resignation. "Yon J ore same sixteen hundred dollars hv I- hind In your accounts, Mr. Blaze," said tho chairman: "but in view of v ytrer fldthtol an! rtftdent service* we shall throw off eight hundred dollar* 1 touched b* Uric georeosity. A tear •toed in his eyn, and his bosom throbbed .udibty. "You WlH firo. II etr right hundred dollar*, you will?" he 'cried, at tat, reizmg thr iftalrroan '• a "1 am a icntkman,— 1 am, you bet I iSSaSHT 3B t

i ~~ — Mr. , who doesn't lire more t than a mile from the jiast otBes in Xew , Orleans, rati some northern nwn with . some southern principles, the other , evening, and in extending to them tlic hospitalities of the Crescent City, . visited ao many of ttu- princely saloons . and "Marble Halls", imbibing spiril- . ual consolation u they Journeyed, at . llio midnight hour, br left, decidedly , felt that he had "a brick in his bat.' Xow, he hu a wife, an amiable, oc- ' (omplished and beautiful lady who , love* him devotally, and finds hut one | fault with him. That it his too fro- [ | q lent visits to tho places where xhose | j "brick*" are obtained. I After taring his friend.. Mr. j i paused a moment, took his hearing*, ard having shaped his course on the principle that continuous angles meet, j made sail for home. In due eoithe of | time be arrived there, and wu not very | much astonished, but rather frightened \ to see his worthy lady sitting up for j -She always docs. She smiled when he cane la. This also, she 1 -Hta>«rv you, my dear [ you had been taken sick." ,

"Hie— ain't sick, wife— b- but you , , don't think I'm a little tight?" , r "But very little, perhaps, my dear— j , but that is nothing —you have so . , many friends, as yon say, yon must . [ Join them in mglasi onoo in a whilol" | , , "Wife, you AO! too good— th'-the , . truth is, I'm d— d drank!" ' , "Oh.no, my dear— I 'm sure another 1 1 glass wouldn't hurt you. Xow, sup- . you take a glass of Scotch ale ! t with me. Just as a nightcap, dear!" , know I'm drunk." I , "Oh, no, only a Julep too much, I J ' ' "W. II, ink. a glass of r.lc, :.t nny ' r"*1 ' !'0t, r°U' dr 'r" ' *aU' i The lady hastened to apm ti hot:: . : and a* she placet two tumbli'rt before p ■ on the table ahe put in one a very c , |>owerful emetic. Filling the ghuee. s : husband. , Su.picion came clouded upon his c tuiud. She never Itod been so kind t when be was drunk, lie looked at the gloss, raisrd it to his llp«. then he*- ^ " Certainly, love!" taking a mouth- c low. ^ Ntuplrlou vanished, so did the the t 1 ale, emetic and all, down the ihioat of 1 the satisfied btistuad. -Vfter a {titling 4 out the lasto, tint lady finish, xl her | ' glass, but seemed in no hurry to re- j She fixed a tub of water before au | 1 chair, a* if she intended to lathe a licr bcuutiful tat tliereiii. But small t were thoac feet, there was not enough ( water in llio tub to cover litem. Tlic ' husband begun to feel sleepy and wanted to retire. "Wall only a few minutes, dear," t said his loving spouse; "1 want to t 1 read the ini<cr which cuno this after- a noon." c A few minutes only clasped, and j then, and then— oh ye gods and Dan « O'lztku what a time. The husband ( placed in an easy chair. He be- 7 gau to understand why the uib was ] there; ho soon found what ailed him. a it to say that when lie arose t from tin. rindr tlo. brick hs.t uh bis , lilt. It hasn't been there since. He , nay* he'll never drink another jnlep> t can't bear Scotch ale; but be is . "death ou lemonade!" Iht low* bis 1 wife better than ever. , Reader, this is a truthful story.— ■ Profit by the moral. f IIan ti el was one of the moat hu- ' ' mogous of mortals, and at the same i time one of the most Irritable. His c ■ Jokes were perpetrated frequently ' I during his most violent bursts of pas- ' I slon. Having occasion to bring out ; one of his oratorios in a provincial 1 i ofEnglont!, lie liegan to" look ' i about for aucb material to complete his I orelurstra ami chorus as the plow might , aShyd. One and another was reeomI > lager, agre ot plover, and .ero! ter n whlki "ich a* lie « tatcd were * i gathered together .a a roota, and aftet > preUmitrer.i >, llandcl made his ap- ( • peorancc, puffing, both arms full of ( I manuscripts. "UenUematt," quoth ( I be, "yon all rend manuscripts?" I "Ye*, yes," responded from all ports r ofthcroom. " Wo play in the church," I ■ added an old man behind a viollncdlo. i I "Very well, play diz," sold Handel, I I distributing the parts. This done and < • a few explanations delivered, Handel i - retfrwl to a distant port of the room to i 1 enjoy the effect. The stumbling apd I . blutidcring that ensued is said to be In- i ' describablo. Handel's eensitim ear I and Impetuous spirit conld not brook the insnlt, and clapping his bands to Ills I cars, be ran to the old gentleman of I ' the vSoliocelki. and shaking his ts-t i furiously at the terrified man and the . ' instrument, said, "You l.lay in do i 1 church— for we rend: D* Lord L long i 1 suffering, of groat kindness, forgiving ' 1 Iniquity, transgression in " sal liny In de church, bat you sal not ' blay for mer' and snatching the ' manuscripts, be rushed out of the I 8 room, taring his astoofetad^pe^rm- i r "llosr vory thcmghflR and euoM.fer- . s ate come editor* are to make such . r suggestions iss time, in comfurating . • upoa Use death of a young Vermont • gtri from the effects of Oghk-Udng:— » "Th**o corsets should be done away , with, and IflhegW* cant Uv* without bring aqueaaed, we suppose men j can b* found who would ratbor devote r three hour* a day, without a cent of

rlllV^SSOPIIY OF SR1R1WJ " There Is a philosophy in hand-ihok- 1 * ing. It Is an indication of character. I It gives expression to the degree in j * which you are appreciated or esteemed c by auother. Tlicre Is a variety or ^ tucthfids in shaking hands, according , to the temperament, disposition or oc- ' cusioti. Some seise your hand with ! an earnest grasp — one foot extended— ' anil liuldlng your eye with their ovru. ' j Such is the salutation of the Jolly tar, ' ready to "share tho lost -shot in the ' looker" with the stranger of th* hour. ° l Others again seize your land with as ! * ' much frenzy, and may mean as well 8 1 toward, you but Uwy do not look <U- ] recUy st you. but pass yeur cheek*, " | with eyes steadily set, as if looking for ■ come undefined ghastliness beyond, 8 and act-suing to eraren. with toL ' same. Other* give loo great a show j | of fervency to the salutation, enutlug | ' [ )'"ui finger* to tingle with paiu: you ' ( ! involuntarily- glance nl your injured \ I I hand cx)sx:ting it to he eora;treaard j into wic horrid, brulx-d, rxtendal in- 1 ! I I ilex finger. Other* add to this cxhib- 1 ilion of muscular inner by swinging | " I your haud up and down- a sort of tn- ' I timatMin that they are about to I ' _ , r- I!

"pump" you. A come so close 1 to you that you can feel their breath I y surf are, (rt Iters acem to beezpen- ' I mrntiug on the greatest distance at ! ; -tome daintily uffer_ you^tite li;« of I ' j llicir fingers; it mean* cither that they ' , consider themselves your superior, or j that they are not disponed to be especially gracious. Other*, again, lake ' your whole hand, even endangering i I the immaculate whiteness of your ; j wristbands. The most agreeable shake | j of the hand is that meaning, welcome i ' J grasp, seantt, but not painful m pres- ' siug shake of ltands is wlieu the parly greets you hesitatingly, yet .lightly' i ' as If he felt guilty of boldtims, or was ' net quite sure that he lutd been misled ' a resemblance. It is awakwunl us ' young lover*, the quiet, pleasant that ' soft, lingering restlessness- that fniut 1 1 attempt at withdrawal at propriety's ' 1 suggestion that electrical thrill of! ' eon tart which tire* Use v.-itts, iiuelalat™ the voice, colors the cheeks, add. 1 a lirightneas to the eye aud a tremu ' ' to the lips. How manynu-u. ! prufound In phdosophy, brilliant in ( vliolarsldp, high «h sredal' |Krs'.llnn, ! I'inie off by a llitlitig Imf or tho thrill ' of n lubolink? Who can say that ' they- were not nil tlto better fer H? j ' Cannot tho lion be in lore? ntrrnxu om ice (UtVks. j , The story of Jim Mullcy's frog illus- ' tratesn mania for betting in California 1 tliat maki's the most trilling incidents ' occasions for displaying Itself. Oatlio 1 C.th instant, says a San Francisco pa- 1 there was an ice match at Marys- 1 ville, to lest tho relative virtue* of two ' tjiecimcos of ice, one from Utile Grass 1 tho other Irom tlic SantmlL Both blocks weighing one hundred and thirty-one pounds, were placed In tlic sun, with even chances, the mer- ' "iry making ninety dc-gvw in she 1 shade. "The Summit, chunk," says ■ report, "was broad and rather fiat, ' while tho Gram Volley spocmen was ' longer, and sat on one end." Toward 1 as the match become hot, the ' streams of water trinklcd down the 1 faces of the antagonists; "there was > great excitement among the friends of ' the respective chunk*," and bet* rang- 1 ed Irom two dollar* and filly cent* to 1 hundred dollar*. The Summit chunk began to havo the host of it; 1 Grass Valley showed deep furrows, 1 and "canto up groggy," while Sum- 1 m*SS**h th* mill* eratiy, and eew- I cd confident of victory. About tin: middle of the afternoon the friends *f 1 Gram Volley threw uj^th" ipong--, and ! went to betting ou how long Summit I itooM last. It grew dark bcfiin the 1 -uke was melted, and tlic match against 1 -.ittie Iiad to be continuod by the light . iJIauturn.-. Summit beat Gnu. Valley ! four hour* and fifty -five minutes, about fifteen hundred dollars changed hands 1 ; that result. i OtiTwnTKD.— A sailor from one of 1 the lake licet vessels went into a shop Milwaukee and purchased goods M , the amount of fifty cent*. Throwing I down a bill, he said : " There is a two I dollar bill— give mo the change." A i glance showed the storekeeper that I the UiB waa a "V," and hastily awrcp- ■ it into the drawer, be gave Jock - lite change. After Jack was gone the man went to the drawer and found i that tlic bill was a "V," to be sure, f was a little the worst counterfeit : ever seen. Indignant at the treatment, s Jack was fouud by the storekreper i and threatened, bat Jock wo* ready, ■ and shewed by a comrade that lie re- [ reived hut a dollar and a lialf In change, t so he could not hare gtven the man t the bill. After a little talk the matter i Was allowed to drop by th* atoro- . k so per. who has probably tamed ■ ractmhiag be did not know bribes. PiiUtenen almost in variably requires , ■ gentleman to agree with a lady; "bat , I whoa she spooks of the great beauty . ; of some other tody, U Is always safe ' l fbr the geuitoman to **y there are - othar stylrs of female ^oreline** thai i ' lie admire* much more. i The following conundrum was cooked ; twenty minutes to make it sufBricutly r linri!: What is the dif&rcaro between ' * donkey and the ealy empire in. South 8 America? The one Way, well, thcoth-

j "If you want to make the rain of your child sure, give him liberty after ( ' dark. You cannot do anything is or- j , er to Insure his damnation than to tot j ' him hare liberty to go where be will without restraint. After dark lie will j ' be sure to get Into communication with i |sxipU- that undermine all his good I ' qualities. I do net like to speak to ' parents about their children. Their [ child cannot, will not He. when his ; tongue is like a bended bow; he will , no", drink, when there la a saloon within a mile of his lather's house where ' he is not as well known as one of its decanters; he never does iniquitous ' things, when he is necking itrffltlr.— : Xlnclevn out of every twenty allowed perfect freedom at night will be wounded by iL There Is nothing more itn- ' portani than for a child to be home at ' night; or, Ifhe Is abroad, you should 1 be with him. If lie !. to see any sights take any pleasure there Is nothing j tliat he should not see that you should ' I Rot see with him. It Is not merely 1 that the child should Is: broken down, 1 , but there are thoughts that never ought ' I to find a passage into a man's brain. 1 | A . an cel. If he wiggle across your car- 1 pet, will leave his slime which m> c

brushing can ever efface, so there are _ j thoughts that can never bo rid of, once j (wrmitted to enter; aud there are Indl- - viduals going round with obscene C j books and picture* under the bippeh of their coau that will tare Ideas in 'r the mind of your child that will never Iv dEm-d. There are men who have " heartl a Klncious song, and they will ; never forget iL They will regret hav- ' log heard it to the end of their live*.— ; 1 do not believe In a child's seeing life, -as it is called, with its damnable lust and wickedness, to luve all his imagmntion sot on fire with the flames of but they are burnod. burned burned; and they can't gel rid of seurv" la oil": Liu uagk » thadi-t 1 1 was some- ! [uatihood, and literally go through the ■ . earth seeking whom he may destroy. 1 | We are not altogether sure but there ( quite as milch truth as there was ] ' in this idea, for we occasionally | meet with character* so do*porately | wicked, so tatiili-rably drprarrd, thai , 1 w,i cannot conceive of human r.nture | , recently det»m-d. In April a picture ■ ilealer name! lamge *liip|icd a box on ( ■ i tin- steamer George Washington from ( New York to Xew Orleans, n box on hich he effected tut insurance of sixhundred mid fifty dollars. .Sottio- 1 f thing attracted tlw attention of the ' and ujwn examination ho ' . found th ; box was filled wish vesscis 1 containing lur|«itlue, alcdiol and ' | cxs'ilitie, orrnngisl so as to be firol anil ' j the box. and who were naturally exported to gnaw their way out of the , I quarter in which they were confined. I 1I« expected that when tho ship was , j nut at sea, the mice, would eat their . into the clietnlcala, and cause suffl' ient friction to fire tlic ship — ami he would realize sixteen hundred and flf- , dollar*. Xothing more diaboUcAl can Ik conceived of. Thus were tlie , lives of 83 or 30 iiereons to be lacrific- , ed in order that a wicked man should 1 , gain sixteen huudred dollar*. ' ■■Bolle**Trli>wss." Xotlilng, it weras to us, could b* , consolatory to Mr. Greeley, than , Ik assured, i»i quite credible authority, that after his editorial* in the Trihave had all the mental effect to which their merits entitle them, they afterward made the intrumenl of , working altnosl mlarculous curative , results on the system of the unwell Sti rian. As proof, sre hare the 'followr related by the Rev. Dr. Jesrap, . re toe mod missionary in that country, who s.vys: "A" Hakeem, or itative doctor, one j day came to mo and asked for a few old newspaper*, to which appeai I re- , spoiried by the gift of n few well-worn iifth- X'w York 7 rf us'. A . fi rtnight after, the gratetul recipient f came back to me in wonderful spirits, I and thanked me most heartily for the . gift. Inviting me to go and eat grapes . nuil figs In Ids vineyard, saying, 'I thank you- very much for tluwe old i Journals. There is nothing like thom; i iliey hare worfcod wondcf* for mytpat ticnt*'.' What waa my surprise, on , entering th* house of the quack, to be invited to look Into an earthen Jar. In which throe newspaper* had Iw-n '• soaked to a pulp in water and then in 8 olive oil, quantities of which astound8 ing mixture hod been swallowed by I this fellow's credulous patient* with 8 such amazingly beneficial results! 1 The old Hakeem gravely thought it 1 wa* the msgicil charm of the printed " letter* which did tin) businros." ' Nothing like boiled 7K&«m!— Harper's A great and karncd Mlicljl once B»t t a plain countryman going to ehureh. , He asked him: "Where are you gor Ing?" "I am going to church, Mr," , was the reply. "What tod* th*M?" - "To worship God." "Prajq whether V is your God a great or * little God?" a "He 1* both, rir. He I* so great, sir, r that the htmvoo of heavens cannot cou- - tain Him, aad s» Mrb that he ran I dwell lo my poor heart" The athriit decUrnd that this staple answer oTthe countryman hail men effect upon hit ' mind than *11 the volume* th* learosd 1 doctor* had ever written upon the subI"" ; A. T. Htewabt report* au looaroe 1 of three millionaflre hundred thottsmd Throe figure* are somewtar in e zeros 1 ^ ""bOTdthz"1 the° " mU"1 ^ **" f borinea* a* long at Mr. btcwaruJ Wait a few years, ami if w* don't apX IROximate very ctariy to the mer-

All Sorts, f Josh Billing. Iho* speaks of * n,r r agricultural Implement, to .which iht " attention of farmers is -Invited: Jui,„ ' j Roger*' revolving, expanding, mtrerimontous. se!f<u\jiuliiig. aclf-cotrirakt-I ing, •elf-sharprahtc, srtf-greazlng and ' ; self-righteous lie** rake; lx now . id 1 : forever offer.*! to a generous pub!! . _ j ' These ralce* are az easy tu krop in pair tu n hitclung [wst, and will': . :a 1 up a papev or pin* sowed brood ha lit I otcn alter lot of wheat rtuble. T e ■ rakes kan br used in winter for .1 -i nw*t or be sawed op in stove wood lor ' the kitchen fire. No ferroer *v good 1 moral karakter should be srlBtimt this ■ rake, rren Ifhe has to steal one A gentleman of joctsw view* riding . with tome ladle, kt Elizabeth, Xew , Jersey , a few days *mce, was infortoI etl by one of them, as they were *p- , prooehhtg the new hotel, that It snt* , the "Sheridan House," and had Just I opened. "Ah, Indeed!" rewpond- . c«l "old Mustache," " Well, I suppwe tlie next thing in order, and certainly the most natural desire on the put of the proprietor, will be to 'Phil' It Immediately." 1

! In Illinois, at knot, the "man and 5 brother" seems to Itavc an idea of tlw 8 upshot of rccrst Congresaional leglsls " Hon. although the maimer of express - 8 Ing It may be open to criticism. On • election-day at Iterator, Illinois, Dta 1 White, a wcll-knosrn colored gratis- ' man of that place, made the somewhat 1 sarraatic observation: "Dc white folks 1 am mighty polite to us cullud men • since dey passed dc JTftfral* CroroW- [ Not loog ago a fire cwpany in . one of our rural village* paid a frb-ml . f ly visit to a neighboring town. Of cordial reatplbm accordesl the'vtllsge aulhoriliro, lo which tlw band u as | rery properly Invited. Altar dinner I ramc tlie toasts, when a graUeman . ' present gave, "The M— - Flrc tomf ixuiy and tlic P Band; the latter . Urn r», the former pre/ret Tlw fu! lowing e- .ni versa Hon bet wren a colore*! prisoner and a temperum*fecturur who was lit search of foci, to his position and illustrate his snhject, explains himself: "What brought yon to prison , my colored friend? "Two constable*, salt." 1 "Yes, hut 1 mean had Intemperance anything to do Willi It?" "Ye*, rath; i dey wtix boAf 'ov torn drank." A good old Msssachusett* doteon. , recently deceased, wiis onoo calk*! io question u|«m some (uiuts uf fitilh 1. 1 , lo his drnonilttaliuti. U'f.l. « gre at deal of earnestness, hi. re "Don't tell nu- that I ain oi I I know all about Congrcgat , alism, for my son has taken tho ' ; greyolissuf Clrte for year*." Miss Wilkin* wss a beautiful bio 1 nnd sho-vrnnted to crate to CapeMuy —so site told bcr mother— to look for | something particular for Iter dear ' "And what 1* iu pray," adketl her ' moHter, "that yon wish to imtrh lo find for your dear papa?' ' "A soti-In- ' law," was tlto gentle reply of the blushing maiden. . . In cleaning out his well tho other I slay, a Nashua, X. IL, man had ore:, slon to lower an Jrlsbmoh about forty fret into the bowels of tho carlli. When about half waj down, Ute Celt - I became frigliUaed. ami shouted, "I ft , me up 1 let mo up ! or IU cot the . rot»-!" The Only IBvidenii.— The most 1 unprofitable roprserowur We rrorheard ' 'r of vgas the canal which never afforded but ooe dividend, and that wa* coo ' summer when tho director* mowed U.e ; tow-path and divided the hay. A Chicago paper ■potoftteea for rail- . lug a certain Alderman of that dty "a great demagogue," b j saying! "We . Ira* pardon. There is nothing great r about him, unless It be his lltttsareu. " Phltosopho says that shutting the ' eyes make* the sense ef hntring more , «"»«• A wag soggssl. Mm> Dfi. nr- ' rounu for tlie many closed eye* which are seen in our cfaurdtos every 8 Sunday. . I Tho lion and the lamb .ti*y poroiUy il sumtlme lay down tn thl^ werid toi; gethcr for a few utlpipi, hatl wlicti (he - lion kunis to git np, the lamb will he a mtaiog. • "I will preach from dot pertioa of dc Scripture dt* e bating," sold * (reYoral domlole, Svhar dc' PwtJe Paul ° p'int* hi* "Pistlc aide Phrahuu." y A Witty fellow, I r. speaking of a man It of indisputable stupidity, said:. "To if femmo a porta: brute be worsts nulv t ia.Hnct!" ■ 5 Ctoapatrm was married the fita Un* with Grrat Pomp, bat she afterward. iKcaroe a woman of stare. A gentleman's horses, wh-h they i run a«-ay with him,' are "drcumiUne* . i. over which he ho* no itRtlroL" A lady, drocribtog sn illtomj- d ., man, said: "He never smile, hu: ' r -rents ashamed Of IE" " To jtrifie one's felf upon his Mre , ou.ortho^w.w*tT»cta of vTOn-.. J When » man runs fbr uffldo. what klod of a sweetmeat does he become? [ A caadidate. I Time iz like a bir windr-ir wu • don't oat our sails, wc loeraelhat lirtoxe Motto for lawyer*— be brief ta .w»»-l» Wtal, (, A "lsnBe" that foretells sorrow x The ooe yon lake iu a bar-room. ■ ~ Steady work- Walking art the tieht g rajra.