2 Cape May Star and Wave, Saturday, Jcdy 2, HHO ™ ^PIBM

m V AV . 'wflVi V ^|. 1 B ^v_ T^ I ■ W'J I I W-m | v TbeKtol Too.Hom OlwaBoorht, ■uJwbM.fliw. J in ow for orer 80 year^^^^boi^^th^B^^^cj)f | o Allow ZSKT. deceive yon in thin- ' All Couaterfelte, Imitations and "Just-as- good" are but Experiments that trifle with and endanger the health of J Tn-ftijrtr f^ Children— Experience again at Experiment. ^ What is CASTORIA ftinl iM la la a harmless substitute for Castor Oil* Pare- { *or*c Drops and Soothing Syrups. It Is Pleasant. It j iiwilalns neither Opium* Morphine nor other Sanotk ) ra bftanrr. Its age Is its guarantee. It destroys Worms t and allays Fererisbness. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind d Oattc. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation r and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the t ■tarns rh and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. r ■v. Children's Panacea— The Mother's Friend. t

OSNUINE CASTORIA ALWAYS j /% Bears the Signature of The End You Hate Always Bought i In Dm For Over 30 Years. 1 . i I

MY SYNDICATE A Financial Scheme that is Going to Beat all the Get-Rich -Quicken to a Frazzle. One Pei.Cent a Day. Double Your Money in Less than a Week Come on with the Cash. Br Roderick Random, Jr. I am going to start a syndicate. T am naturally of a philanthropic dis position, and in addition to that I have long been suturing schemes of finnn.-; which are destined to astonish the world After giving the matter a great deal of thought I have come to the conclusion that the supposed masters of finance know nothing about the subject. They can stand around and greet you with ar8 per cent, smile; they can sit down on a dollar and keep the wind from blowing it away, but when some glorious and magnificent enterprise is. proposed ti them they just sit a little harder on the dollar and mumble something about -o! laterals and indorsements, and the dollar continues to loaf around and have an easy time of it. They meet tc gather once in a while and eat terrapin | and roast duck, and to praise esch Other, and lots of people are thus led to believe tbat they know it all; but that doesn't fool me. But now to business, i have organized the Early Bird Investment and Gold j Brick Company, unlimited. It is t» be •bartered under the laws of Alaska witl full powers to loan and borrow money, to dig for gold, to build and sail ships manufacture cheese and iron, to lease and buy brass mines, plant potatoes, conduct ■and banks, faro banks, and other banks, and to engage in any other business wbatever. Its capital is to be 81,000,000 000,000, or as much more as may be deemed necessary, one-half uncommon and tbe other half deferred stock, with the privilege of issuing first mortgage, second mortgage and irredeemable de benture bonds. I have already secured as a part of my staff of assistants ten astrologers, eight trance mediums and one son of a seventh son, who will aid me in the investment department. Now bring along your money. I will pay one per cent, an hour for its use. That means 24 per cent, a day, 188 per eeut. a week, 728 per cent, a month and 8,788 per cent, a year. No Brooklyn syndicate or blind pool ever organized ' in this world or any othei world can equal this. I am determined to offer such unparalled advantages as to de'y competition. Bring your money right

1 here, instead of sending it to the cities, 1 and save postage. I will either borrow 0 it or sell you stocks or bonis, just as 1 s you choose, and in whatever way you in 1 c vest the profits will be immense. You ' see I will sell the stocas and the bonds to pay interest on the deposits, and will < use tbe profits on the deposits to pay the dividends on stocks and the interest on c tbe bonds. In all the history of finance I do not believe that this idea ever oe t curred to any one, either inside or out- • side of the banking business. j 1 When you look at it it is as simple its f rolling off a log, but, easy as jt is, 1 <'c i not expect to convince the bankers and r , money sharks of its feasibility. I would q f advise all my friends to refrain from o .. consulting them about this scheme be- a i fore investing. They will be sure to e discourage it. Tliey will at once see tbat t I I am the most powerful rival that ever 1 , confronted them, and will kuow that t t their business will be ruined in case I |i get a start. I have no doubt they will t i> persuade very many to continue on in f the old way of paying them a bonus for t retaining the custody of other people's p , money; but truth la mighty and will , prevail; therefore, conscious of my own s j integrity and good intentions, I will defy 1 Eventually I am bound, under my e I system, to do all the business. Suppose, C I for instance, you deposit just $10 with a , the Early Bird Company. In four days d and four hours you have doubled your b capital. You leave the profits to accum- 1 ' ulate and draw interest. I always advise n I this, and in the course of a year it will ti double a little more than eighty-sever tl times. Now, if you have ever read tlis I | stroy of the blacksmith who offered ti , to shoe tbe horse for one cent for e the first nail, two cents for the i second, four cents for the third. F ^ and so on, you can readily see that " at the end of the year you will be rick u beyond tbe dreams of avarice, and wherever you go the newspapers will say you "entered a carriage" and were I "driven rapidly" to your destination. J I Some may say you were "driven directly," but you will, always be in the "driven" class, "and when you die there will be "obsequies" instead of E a common funeral. ai You will perhaps ask bow I am going, f< to do all this. That doesn't matter, but p ' I have no objection to a partial explamt- s; tion. There are several hundred millions o: ' of dollars put np every year in tbe stock tl market. I have formed connection* with h tbe Goulds, Vanderbilts and others, by b ' . n

which I will be kept informed of all important qjovea, and besides , t&s I will have the assistance of my stsff of astrologers and other kppwers of flie unknowable in ascertaining in whet Is filing to take place in the future. Ignorance of the future has always been tbe fruitful cause of failure in financial transactions, but in that respect I have a cinch. Putting it conservatively, the Early Bird Cbmpanv I ought to take about 8100,000,000 a day I out of the stock and grain markets, which in itself is s very fair profit Be aides that I have s system for breaking the bank at Monte Carlo, and I know plenty of good poker and fako players hirable at a reasonable salary who w'll get for tbe company a good portion of the money that is daily risked ingamb ling games, all of which, deducting tie necessary expenses, will be merged in t'.e general receipts of the company. Then have an option on a monopoly of the dye business in tbe Philippine 1? and 1 have a patent on an r pie crust for use in railroad restaurants, both of which I w ill over to the company. Moreover, have secured a contract to furnish all the watch keys used by the government for five years. You can-readily see from this that the scheme is air tight. Bring on your money. A WOMAN'S WAY A prominent banker in Philadelphia was talking of the foibles of some of hit feminine depositors. "Women are queer creatures when it comes to business, " he said. "For on, thing, no woman can understand why w« won't send her unlimited amounts of money if she asks for it over the tele' phone. "But the funniest incident I've knows happened the other day. We sent word to one of our woman depositors tha« account was overdrawn. We ex pected her to be angry. They usually are. But she wasn't. "No indeed. She sat down and wrot, a gracious and lovely letter on crested paper, thanking us for letting h«r know that her account was overdrawn. " 'I am so glad to oblige you by rem edying the defect at once," she wrote. "And she inclosed a check for 87o0 drawn on our own bank.

A Poor Weak Woman A As the is tanned, will endure bravely end patiently V . ■Ronies which a strong man would giva way under A The fact U women are more patient than they ough to be under aacfa troubles. Every wriman ought to know tbat she may obtain the most cxpwiaaocd medical advioe frtt af chary# end la sliihtr naftdimn and privacy by writing to S lbs World's Dispensary Medical Association, E. V. , Pim. M. D., President, Baffslo, N. Y. Dr. Pierce | has been chief Illag physician eg tbe Invalids' ^^^ArM Hotel and Surgical Institute , of Bnfcln, N. Y„ for AAJHAB BAmany years end baa bed s wider practical experience ia tbe treatment at women's diseases than any other physician at tbh ceontry. His miflriam ere wtirid lamnm ler thrir tin 111 Iff iliinj.^ 1W K Beads ut nm.d) ever dashed far monk Ai dt» ••Sewn is Dr. Hnw'e Ha.tMs »1 i ilqUs . FT MASKS WUUt WOMEN STRONG. Tb* "nay and varied symptoms el weaaant paeulisr silmsnti are fnDy oat '■'lb in Flai, PegliA in the Peseta's Msdlaal Adviser (1006 pages), a newly Mils ad and np ta dam Bditien ef which, Math hcond. will be mailed fym ea seeelpt of 31 ne, rrat staasps te pay seat of mafling snfr. Address as ehsn.

IT'S YOUR KIDNEYS Mii'.ikf thf Oaus of Your Trouble- A Cape Ksy Citizen 8hovi Bee to Oars Then Many people never easpect their. kidneys. If suffering from a lame, weak or aching back they think that it is only a muscular weakness; when onntrouble nets in they think It will correct itself. And spit Is with all the othersymptoms of kidney disorders. That Is just where the danger lies. You mutt cure these troubles or they may lead to diabetesorBright's disease. Tbe remedy to use is Doan's Kidney It coree nil ills which are caused weak or diseased kidneys. Cape May people testify to permanent cures. Stanley Benstead, Corgle and Queen streets. Cape May, N. J., says: "For years I suffered from kianey trouble. After doing a hard day's work . my back ached severely and wben I arose In the morning, I felt lame and sore. I became tired easily, was dull aud languid and at times was bothered by a blurring of my sight. kidney secretions contained sediment and I was forced to arise many times during the night on account of their frequency in passage. Doan's Pills relieved me in a short mod the contents of six boxes effected a cure.'* For sale by all dealers Price 50 ceats Co.. Buffalo, New York, sole agenu for the United States Remember tbe name— Doan's — and take no other JUDGE ENDLICH AND THE GOVERNORSHIP Somebody wanted to get President to run tor governor some time Tbe Judge p.llowed them to run him a few days, but being already a j president judge, president of tbe Penn- 1 sylvania Bar Association and president 1 of several other things, he concluded ] be woula not add the governorship to i string, so he applied the emergency I to the boom, and as a result ve ' will venture to say the Judge is much « m venture to say tne uuuge is mucn

happier than any of the numerous gen tlemen who are doing the running. The ; Judge very modestly said that he was : not fitted for the governorship, which | was all very well, perhaps, from his | standpoint, but no member of the Bar' : Association will be willing to admit tbat ' a man who is big enough for its presidency is not big enough to run the Stats The Power of True Oratory When the Roman people had listened j to the diffuse and polished diaoouraee , or Cicero they departed, saying one to < another, "What a "splendid speech our 1 orator has made." But when the ! Athenians heard Demosthenes he so ' filled them with the subject matter of his oration that they quite forgot the orator and left him at the flaiak of Ma , harangue breathing revenge aad ex I claiming, "Let us go and fight against ' Philip."— Qolttm. "<

- v ODE TO THE SEA Written for the Xarr, by A. Bigfee, "Esq. The sea, the sea, the open eea, Plenty of action, but nary a fee, i wander -by thy sounding strand, j But no retainer can I land. Thou art a great and vhet aquarium. But handest me no honorarium. What use is thy gigantic roll. If to the law it brings no toll. Vast riches fill thy awful maw. But not a dollar for the law. I quite approve the poet's taste, . Who called thee "melancholy wa*te." What profit in your boasted fury, That never brings you 'forq a jury. What boots it me your mighty waves. That brings not e'en tbe price of a shave. , Let others call thee, "Mighty Deep," , To me thou seemest mighty cheap. , You're taking toll in every clime, , But never give the law a dime. Origin of "Hobeon't Choice" 1 "It is a case of Hobson's choice" is a > phrase .that ia used by many people , without knowing exactly what it means, I says a writer in the Strand .Magazine. As a matter of fact, this adage has been ' handed down to us from the Seventeenth - Century and had its origin in the eccentricities of one Tobias Hobson. This worthy was a carrier of Cambridge, wh„ died in the year 1830. In addition to i his ordinary business be kept a stable > and let out horses to Jhe students at tbe University. He made it an unalterI able rule, however, that each animal » should have an equal period of wok and t rest, and would never let one out of its f turn. Consequently, instead of being allowed to select tbe steed they mo*t fancied, the customers had to take the i one that stood next to tbe door. If it ? did not ineet with their approval thry « had to do without a ride. TTywct the proverbial expression, "Hobson's Choice," i used to signify a choice without an alternative. * A HO OSIER TRAGEDY ' An Indiana man mixed things up and swallowed radish seeds and planted liver pills. Isn't that the irony of fate! Now he's a vegetarian, but nothing but 5 liver grows in his garden! A Reliable pATiiR&U Remedy 8 HRlftn Ely's Cream Balm I* quickly absorber. Op COVDl • Give* Relief at Ones EA IUjleanses, Mxitlies, F^I-fEVER brane ri-sulUu^-from eSB i Catarrh and drives 8 S.«3'KA77lv£R I Taste and Smell. Fr.ll faz- ets., utDrug- - gie's or by mail. In li-jui . . „-.u, 75 cents. , Ely Broiin i-s. V.iirrei. S- K-— York 1825 THE 1 910 - PENNSYLVANIA FIRE insurance company inooeforat: d 1825. CHARTER TERPETUAL. OFFICE, 508-510 WALNUT ST, 1 PHILADELPHIA. PA. CAPITAL, - - - 3730,000.00 ASSETS, - - - - 37.832,524 10 SURPLUS, - - 32,233,426 48 I | DIRECTORS, i R. Dale Benson, John L. Thomson l J. Tate all Lea, Charles E. Pngh Richard M. Cadwalader, " W. Gardner Crowell,. Effingham B. Morris, Edward T, Stotesbnry Edwin N. Becfo», Jr. R, DALE BENSON, President, iOHN LTHOMSON, Vice President7. GARDNER CROWELL Secretary HAMPTON L. WARNER, Assistant Secro. tary. WM. J. DAWSON, Sec'j- Agency Depart, A. W. HAND B. F. ELDKEDGE HAND AND ELDREDGE LOCAL AGENTS Merchant's National Bank Bldg, or I 816 and 817 Washington Street Cape MsvTn J. R. M. Wentzell's furniture store, 83 Perry street, carries a great stock of furniture and household goods and many purchasers of large and small quantities have found tbat they save considerable eums of money, while goods delivered without damage, as is not the case when purchased anywhere aad shipped by rail. Are you undecided where to have your clothes made? Are you looking for a first class tailor? Are you tired of having to take the suit back for alterations and lose your time as well your temper? Avoid all the unpleasantness connected with clothes and have them made by CHARLES SOHERER, Ladies' and Men's Tailor, Gape May, N. J. Go to Thomas Soulta, Cold Spring, for the things you need for the table, and family, and obtain satisfactory Roods at the smallest cost. Full and SfS-tfc gatoad by an active career «f more PERRY DAVIS' PADS KILLER draws tha pain and inflammation from strings and ineoct bitoa. Soothes and allays the awful feUng of *alto toaa. Me. We artttc bottles. 8-11 4t it tl it ; t 1

Excelaaor fale *»"1 Storage Apartanenti j Secopd ft&d Furniture tj yi Sold ' « Dry Air Stan,. Aputanb M Pronded at reataoruible rate* ■ WkSR'h Call 103y Keystone Phone, Exeelnor BMf W. S. SHAW & SON

Keystone [Telephone 30 A

Brick, Lime and Cement . 5=3 ELMIRA street |

Jewelry and Watchmaking " Wix Establsted 1808 - J " Wl Lar*e stock of carefully selected goods. Clocks at all kUi n Repairing of Watches, Clocks or Jewaby promptly and aklll- !» folly done. ■ BELFORD GARRI80N " OK UJiaUTUOTVlV PT _ . ' l oe Washington st. ' -w" . "'CAFE MAT HJ

e Keystone Phone 4D « x>ooeoooooeooq>oooeoooooooot

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I W. A LOYETTf J ] 1 Cox V aahington and Perry St*. O • J * CAFE TuCALTT CH TT, "iTXTSSr" TEBSEY" JT •" ^ * MANUFACTURER OF ' 'w Y " \ ; HARNESS, COLLARS, SADDLES AND HORSE GOODS g j I Strap work of All Kinds. Blankets, Robes. Sheets and Nets A Upholstering I In all its Branches. Furniture of all kinds. Mattresses made and renovated. Window Shades, Carpets, Mattings, etc. We guaran1 tee satisfaction F«*r nltnre to ti Ire by the day or week. I HOWARD F. OTTER 412 WASHINGTON St ' Keystone Telephone 124M The Excelsior Boarding and LIVERY STABL Is die newest and best equipped building for die care of . horses and carriages in Cape May. It contains many light ) box stalls for the accommodation of private driving horses. The rates are modest, and service will be excellent] The rink has closed down for the Summer, this will insure quiet and comfort for the horse. For terms write C. S. NEWELL, Proprietor. West Perry Street, Cape May. BB Key tone Phone 1-03 Y S VvVWvVVVV/AiVVVVVVVAVW 8 UO blab iaWadDSSl Ett»bll«h*d 1B&1 Gh , | "The Old Reliable Jewelry Store" | h S JOSEPH K. HAND ® J jS 311 WASHINGTON STREET. X flk Watches, Clocks, Jewelry and Silverware. Repairing of all 3k ^ kinds promptly attended to. ■ — * Is your Husband well Dressed? , IF NOT Get Him to talk it over with i (Charles Seherer, 8 LADIES SUITS A SPECIALTY * 25 Decatur St Cape May City, New Jersey. 1 , : GOODYEAR RUBBER GOODS I > Mafhinicol Rubber Good* of En, Kind. j

i LEATHER BELTOIG

| GARDEN HOSE I HOSE REELS I ' I LAWN SHUNKLEftS | -nnoi ^ «*noo^ i j

T9WR 4 BROTHER 1 Of. T U-_ I o. . ... ■ Bkll.a.takl. t ! - - -

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