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VOLUME XXVIII. . CAPE MAY CITY. NEW JEBSEY. SATURDAY. SEPTEMBER 30. 1882. * WHOLE .jiUMBER. 1472.

oXre MAT OITT. k. a. ^ 9 1 .50 * year in Advance. yrafrntmul T B. HUFFMAN, attobmft akd OOt:!5SELUlR AT LAW t tOUOTOK. ■ abjra AND EXAHIKEK ■ SL'FKEHl OCX-'KT iXiMttisMOSEK. . S rraua ^ c p^- .y. DOUGLASS, ATTO[BJIBY-AT-LAW I SOLICITOR IN CHAN CENT yy altbb a. barbowb, ' , attobne y-a t-l a w BOUCTTOR IK CHANCEJT,^ ^ -pvR. j, r. LBAMINQ A8QN, dentTsts, ^2StiwSSSsV££ ^ Cars Mar Coc*rBorE»-T*mvl»ri u4 Eatjamps m. e. hildreth, attqrney-at-law BOUCTTOE, MASTER AND BAKWB I» CHANCERY. _OOrcalSo.seWamSlngloce.lre*. Cw*»! lusiwss £»rds. jjs06 r. wit.i.iamh, architect and builder. WILL «»■ DRAWINGS. AND BtrPEEIN.'END UK CONTRACT. ornci-ii el. cst» mat. nj.

b. little. PRACTICAL painter and glazier, 52SSE$lSS!Z organs and sewing ma\J CHIKEK. B. F. HORNER, FUIE, 10 US t SEIBG IMBUES BUDUETON, X. J. RrcocA, « Jeetaea K-. IgM* Na- nij. SP»S> q.0 to garrison's STATHHIffiY, AMD STORE VARIEfY rOR QOLD PENS, BLANK BOOKATMLET ^caJLsridbltA « I pi'* MlKUYUEE^T^MAMTACTlhKli ON BEWXM 1AC1I IN E^X ETCH-IS AND OIL A II WASIBNOTUN STREET. C4PX HAT, X.J.

QRAS.F PERRY, OILS. PAINTS & VARNISHES. PRILAWLPHIA. ■ MAI l Am Q.OODYEAR^s_RL'isbeh feltHOEB. CLOTHING. BOOTS A SHOES 0. P. OIETERICH. New York Brim* *»d PwktagOosnpror "Kit aa* one* v3SSSlJ&i?k5S^IGGSA BROTHER. AMERICAN WITCHES

221 Walnut Cor. Dock St. , WATCHES A JEWELRY REPAIRED. J AS. HAND A SON, CAPE MAY DIAMOND CUTTERS, I ^ »>. U WASH1XOTC.X YT1IEXT. JOHN mTRUSBKLL, DRY GOODS, ; GROCERIES, B80TS. SHOES" A NOTIONS, ^ RWRJFEED^ POBE. LABft EAKK. SEEDS. A*. J. I L RUSSELL, <X>U) nPHINU. i PATENTS «KSJS=^LLHS

Wrdiral. DABBYS PROPHYLACTIC | FLUID. , Ihjilw^t^" r„.™iMjMrM | HEAiivrox Mi«Mrr^>' i nrrpHniBMU i r™ ruzxiorrrD r^SrT TB™»I a a * | pvaf^tSi JJmSZ gj£^|gp= i.piHfr um M . I yv j* V t * 1 ' r. 9 ' Umrbn rbU D KaommiiM bj " iv n£TTtt^i2«5i^ILd.wd ». teMTSftsftEEferass f Dreg* . w wrf WIS, prylwa..

lift Hmuranff. 5 M1LLVILLE ' lOTUiL IARIFI AHD FIB INSURANCE COMPANV, T MILLVILLE N. J. Actual Surplus over all Liabili51 ties, Including Re-in»urance. Fire and Marine, - .921,203.59.

Bits Uw, . Smalt? Jipstliilt SETTLEMENTS PROMPT AND MANAGEMENT ECONOMICAL. ir-Apnu wameJ sBwMiiixie.JF. REEVES, Pres. R. L UOWEMr. Soc." '' AGENT8 AND 8URVEYOR8: ws Km. Oape NajkXwn Ilauer, re r 8HB-J mm. Cm* h*j otj. - n. W. Hsx.1, DT«r» Crart. J. H-TNCTOA. CoM Bene*. K. r. wmewLB^ini seArujr. ; . ; A 9. (5. JWff's SUnt. "profit ob no profit fob i PAINTS,

i N. CrpRICE. PrmUni Wom Outfr, S7 Pwtj Stnrt. 1 WHOLESALE AND RETAIL STORE. ' G000S and^GROCERlES, . FEED STORE, J Com, Oats, Hay. Bran, Mill Feed , WOODYARD, ' - WOOD COT AXDSILIT. CEDAR POgTB i'K ALL S1EXS. I 1ST "*■ N.L0*?MCE. 6ttl, Waoi, fiar, tit. QOAL AND WOOD, j A OOAL AND WOOD YARD . Et THE IKiKD. • | « PA~BNTM ^ "PREP ABATOR l\ j. nATcsaairnSrK £ee*nfii£L I

DOW X BY THE SKA. I bT "2^^'IL'ti " Com I esU so. I k>*p io wea. m» own! ] loo* una aogU oi >«r rnlrr" I Iprm^iboirmol msowelrsois-^ c The Un«bVeje« Ahoae Ui ward, 1 aaul ' While the mm ttm MM Aboot her Ire. Br the ntutM. tavatot. umnt m. | REVEMCE. Humane Americane hsve hl«»jri been diipoeed lo repinl with horror ihc eogKeelloo thai the Indian! iboold becltermlntted. But crenaodreadfala policy may oome to be preferred to driliXhUoo of ihe red I men, irdeilixallon.il going !o bare ruch reaulu ai are Indietled dn the following paragraph, which we dip from a daily paper | "There U a bran band of fourteen piece* at the Bill tin agency, erery mem- ! her of which b a full -blooded Siour lodian. Thu band baa only been organixed two monlhi, and already it playi -Nancy Lee" and 'Wearing of the Green"' I Thil open! up a pro! peel which can , hardly be coolemplaled without feci- ; ingi of deep emotion. The North Atneri- . can Indian acctni to be preparing lo , take a terrtbla rerenge for ail the wrong! i that hare been heaped up.® lib race for I four hundred year!. In hli aara.ge alate ; bb method! of retaliation bare been rode * and in a Agree inaffectire. He would iwuop in upon a acttlement, manaete a , few people, bum aome at the stake, driTe r lynchpina through aome, collect tufu of hair and go home. Now, be b preparing to organixe aboriginal bran band! rod to , blatfcAnd to thumb "Nancy Lee" into the . ear* of defencden white people. He will hire hitnaelf to arrenadoe and rend the afhlre himaelf aervnaara aoa rcoa roe aif righted air of nlghi with E flat horn! rod

|*a drama The band that Brat brandiabed the tomahawk will wield the trom- [ bone; the rolce that once wal beard lo the war-whoop will acream through a corn-t- ® a-pbton, with a perpetual tendency lo fall ( below pitch; the arm that drew the deadly ; bo waring will now claih the braxea cjmlab. if the deapiaed Indian koowi him- - »elf he b-saing In make ua pay for all the blood and Shra that our prraecution of 1 hint baa coat- We are faoe to face with 1 rclribntioa. The Indian bran band b 1 8 preparing to lei Itaelf kmc upon an un- 1 protected country. But it would be moat unwia; lo imagine t tint the malignant hunger of Ihe aborigl on for rengeance will atop bore. The bran band b but one implement for' the infliction of woe. The hrod-argro b db. . tinetlj within the reach of any enterprialog copperodocetl child of nature; rod aooordcooi are not cxpeniire. Thui the riata of mtaery enlatgea. Suppoae all the Isdiro boys, a! fait al they are dTilind and oome to lire among ua, begin to learn .Ur nnm the flute > What t' CTrTT into In- '■

L dian "girl nrca up enough wampum and " •kunk skin* to buy herself a parlor organ F upon wbldi she can learn to pby wallxes d and Gregorian chant* J Suppoae erery c Indian mother filkd with implacable hatred * r of the pale face, buy! ber papoose a fbh- 0 horn rod a dram ? These consideration! " should hare weight while we are dbena- ■ sing the adriaahility f* the policy of ex- ' termination. Same of U! had hoped that " as the Indian lmprored bb ooodilino hf ' t- would he dasirout lo imitate the rirtues of the whins rather than their rioea; but 1 the human heart baa a natural propenii-.y ' It for eril and baas drama No doubt the Indian bands ultimately will bold bram ' band tournament! St the while offenders 1 do, and will arc Dally compel peaceful 1 Tlllager* to take to the woods till all b ! orer. We are going to hare woe from this business Cannot the Great While Father be persuaded to interfere I Au. tbority from bun to fill a couple of dram! with dynamite jut before an Indian bram — bund starts a rebraraal would probably bare' a discouraging effect upon the red _ man, and it might sare tfre country years lB of grief. Max Adxlxr. considered only an arerage soceeia. It seems that many of thorn are now owned by w/eh. core, nan ira which mar not he rood -companies, which be good

inrretmer.U before long, if Sabbaths "are desecrated by running of trains and by mammon. Very few ministers bare attended tome of tbem.thb year, and those who did mutt hare forgotten the conference action of aereral years. Bat aome camps bare no each objectionable features about than." That ii a fair record at far as it goes, but -ft does not go far enough. What people want to know at tbr bands I of Kane competent authority b which of U* camps had the " objectiooa- . bit- feature," and wbicb were free from them. Which of them make money by draeereting the Lord's Day. and which ones ckwe their gates from Saturday night 1 until Monday at sooriac? Wbicb are real and which are for the glory of God and the good of mankind. If somebody who b accurately informed as lo these thing* wiU bare the Uadnem lo answer these qusatiuoathe people who may think of going lo some camp or otbs next suma ma, and who want to be sure that they patronise the right kind will be pkood i A pretty Peoria girl acted aa the Goddess of Liberty In a political procesakm, r j and her sweetheart walked along by the made desparaging remark! That eras rlgtaL Duemt the Coottitulion of the j LCi*lriri2ti*u "** G Lfogfr .Geddres of Ial-rty rimot him on the f s ! We hare not read the «.»y aright if it

WHEN WE WERE TOURO. what uttls b0t« week keallt hade rot 3 Did yoo erer compare Bllle boys' and , girl! antic! about the house? Of course , you bare; and if you are a croity pcraoo- , age, a little gircn to suppers and ease, terse sayings and dyspepsia, you hare rery often, no doubt, giren it as your hooert Opinion that little toys were designed by an erll genius to especially break up rules and post prandial napa Yet for all the hooting, shouting rod sudden sorties from behind doors, tying tin cans lo stray dogs rod slamming of gates, a nobeieas, easy going, mlkheyed boy b a dangerous sod sad anomaly in nature. A sleepy, solemn, Hat-footed boy, who b Incapable apparently of startling deriltry, b an exception which no one takes kindly lo, are perhaps the tanner ciaa of a Sundry 1 School. This.aort of boy b apt to awake - from bil unnftural lethargy rod rirtne a, me morning, end, fairly running orer ' with accumulated mischief, will nine 1 times out of ten inn away to sea. turn 1 pirate or join a ua celling cars ran. One I expects slam. hang lag from a well <*»- f k rooted toy. The boy who woo'i kick out the'tdta of hb new boots against a 1 Bone or tie hb litter'! beau coat taib to- - gelbcr behind the chair back b a speci- - men to be aware of generally. 1 The notoriously .outrageoui liule fellow r who yell! al unseasonable timea and gore * to bod erery night under protest, always 1 planning rillianie! for the next day, b an " open and honorable enemy againtt whom we are wclopme to throw up brraitworki, ° and it b rery refc lo lay we will need r" them. The boy who nerer lelt bb btart * bursting with desire lo shoot a sky-rocket ciowp or an omnibus drirer b ao.uethlng d to Tear as an innoTallon in masculine jurenility. If there b nothing absolutely '* wrong In the make-up of an embryo man, be b popping open with badness If be ,g did not yell and soamble and tear things " be would buret and collapse, or dart away * into space to become blot part of a couicL " His rousdea mutt stretch and lungi exrant Hb knees mutt bulge through through

hi, trousers, and be mutt scream bb sus f pender buttons off. Ho oould not grow j up into a bank president or railway mroa- a get otherwise. The boy who dots not t work off some of bb loose enthusiasm is 0 bound to be orer loaded and "go off" some dsy. Next to a well regulated hornet, a hoy b the huairel thing in the world. , Perhaps tLe rery happiest time in bb life b tbe day be takes cbarga of bb I sister's first little lore aiftir, rod becomes e , the arch demon in some unhappy young t . man's exbteoce. I He am think of more Infernal machines s , during the asking of a bkssing at table < than any cartridge concern could get up j . In a week, and drircs hb marriageable ( . abler to tbe verge of insanity by repeating i queer facu and unreliable pleasantries i happening erery day in tbe first families, I while tbe young man who is bes "steady 1 , company" b waiting to be helped to fowl , c rod jelly. Tbe boy baa not the dirlnlng , 1 sense of a girl, no intuiliee knowledge, j but be can Mumble rough-sbod on more bat be siomwe rougu-soou oo ion

during a short dsy than any caber thing. There b nothing secretire . generally about the boy. He belicrea indisseminating what be finds out by onceasing search. This b one of the most alarming trails about blm. Little girls may be intimidated and kept in, to to speak fearing to crowd down impreaaioos tboy compress and distort internal organs with .whale-bones, but tbo boy b painstakingly diffused, and will not hide bb light under a bushel. Tbe first day at school be learns erery- , thing reprehensible that any other boy knows, and improrea on all the patents. , While it b tbe constant practice and effort on tbe part of ererybody to driTe back i and crowd" out originality and booesty in ; gtri, tbe stronger play-fellow b pcrniiti ted to grow up pretty much without being , tied lo a stake, and it doesn't always fob , low that the untrelllsed rioe grows crooked. Liule girls mutt not scream, or [ whittle on their flngora io anybody's ears, , consequently much enjoyment Is lost, rod r husbands gel tbe benefit afterwards of j this pent-up steam, which most oome out , a'wner or later. Little girls mutt not tear out of tbe house and leap the fence, yelling like a Comanche Indian all tbe while; consequently their lungs are weaker, and , they do a deal of morbid crying years afterward, as a humanity In them orer- « .«■ take to rrmaatticn. and eet \ Boys lake gymnastics, °

strong logs and full chests, while girts who hare s fair share of life's bard things to bear are totally unfit for it, from a lack ' of muscle and training. Bunes cart, high- 0 heeled shoes and tight being confine or k ^ crush what elasticity they bad oooe, and y \ the demolition of organs and sinews b u 'r How nature crops out in hub creatures * [" before they are fairly oo fa*. . How girts abhor bugs rod. take to doll*. ? crooning ores- rag bauacs blisttully, while q boys build steam engines, and learn to ^ kick and get atooebrubea. ' It b perhaps in ooening down stain the ° boy diatinctly declares himself a boy, and makm eren a doting maternal rebUrt " rather tomm the nocenrily ofmenbciag [ * No right-minded boy can ever bring [ himself te undertake the deaoenl of a t £ staircase in a Christian manner. He lets t J r— "d». crowds all tbe noise he can In . % the execution and folly makes the bwds , ' ache. He takes t Letters twoaia time , and one cannot help being ororjoyod at , the imm'neul prospect of dislocating Lis . , limbs In Ihe scramhlr Nothing b leas ' likdy to happen. He grsa to the bottom - in a lamp, all whole, gatbera himeell up ; and has more Ore in him than a young mustang, aiwaye able to command the un- ^ dirided atteoticc of Yhe neighboehood " ; ; ^ I No wonder boyi sleep like Ihe dead, i while She awed and horrified, mystified h : hub mother turns out those inoompre--, j bseoRde .pockets fun rf the unkwrabk.1

SOME WOM EE'S WAT. At tbe busiest boor lo the afternoon yesterday a woman who would hare bal t tnced 175 pounds of horse feed oo the 1 scale* elbowed three men swsy from tbe ' 1 stamp window at tbe post office and In- I ■ quired: ' "Is there a mall going north to-night f" ' "Yee'm." • " ' l "Is It sure logo f" "Ob, yea." ' 1 "Hare I time lo write a letter?" "Yea, fire hours Ume." 1 "I was thinking of srriling to my bus. ' hand, who b in Saginaw. 1 suppose I 1 ■ oould write s postal card ?" "Do t bey- go just as aalely ?" 5 "Certainly." < waiting and scowling around, but the ' wou.ro clung lo tbe ebdf and continued: c "1 suppose you kerp postal cards bore V "Yesm." ' 'Two for a cent ?" e "No; only one." D "1 didn't know but they were down ' thb fall. 1 presume you can change a k flredollarbUir t "Yes." "It seems too bad to break it for a cent. *■ but i suppose I musL You mey band me a card" A raid was banded out. rod she Ugan » to fee] for ber pur*. Tbe crowd surged is up rod tried to buttle her, but she couldn't -s be hustled. She looked in fourteen differ, a col pieces foe that bill, bat It was not to ® be found. •. "Do you suppoee I could hare Idef it T *1 she suddenly asked. rt "Yee'm." « "Where?" '* "On tbe next corner." ■g "Then Hi go end get 1L Dear me ! «- but I Wiab I bad written a letter." 'J Slic let go and so pushed aside, and it 1. was about ten minutes before she reaper peared and called out: g» "Tbe bill -wasn't on tbe comer, and I belie re I banded It 10 you when I flrtt a- "Oh, ne." «'■ "Well, If I did, and you arc mean IS- MOP,!, In kwn iL-mu'll Dtvcr prosper. enough to keep never u

go borne and get a cool and comeback and boy a card, but I do think that under the circumstances you might let me write both sides of iL" DEATH'S HARVEST. £ Free Prvsa. k Another member of the Lime-Kiln Club Q joined tbe sileni procession whkdi is Q ever marching with noiseless step upon the broad highway from earth lo eternity. ^ oommunicalioo from Wilmington, DcL, §, signed by a Jostioc of tbe peace end three . oonsublee. gare tbe information that As- g phaltom Syl retter, an honorary member 7 of the dob, had been found dead in a ¥ field As noon as the reading wu finished B i Col. Pendulum Jooea arose and began: t "Mlsaer Cba'rman — De tear " leaps un- p ■ to my eye at de sad informasbun j 1 datanodder good man has passed from t I sirth swsy. Braddtr Bylrotter was t man t , widoul a single fault. He waa op—" (. • "Brodder Jooe* will plea* sot down , --onioaer jouct win -a* — - v

r 'while I furnish a leetle more ioformashun p s on distubjeek,'1 interrupted Brother Gard- ^ • ner. "Now, den, I knew de deceased fur p - many long y'ara. He waselmply a cnl- p I oeed man, same as de rest of ua He , s wasn't any mo' truly good dan any odder ,, J pusaon. Fact am, he was pow'ful mean 0 » 'Unit a great many fings, an' none too h * good io any. He wu foun' dead in a - field. Keep your ere* on daL He war s foun' dead In a field, an' jes' behind him i was a bag of watormeions, an' jes' io treat •- o' him wss a spring-gun. Dot's bow be. y was foon' dead in a field 1 Iagreedatno V l mu should speak UI of de dead, but dis 1 -l club am no puflio' machine to klrer up ' k dead men's rascalities. Bich kind o' work I n is looked fur in Congress, ro' am taken ' t- fur what's U's wuth. Let It be under- ' ig stood, now an' fureber, dat any member I I- of this club who file io front of a spring t- gun in a melon patch, or drops down io ' ■r froot of a smoke-house doab, am net ' >, gwlne to be eologiand beab aa a hero who ' d lent bis life while tryio' to tow a burnin' ' Of steamboat ashore. As men lib to may ' Jl men speak of dem.ar THE GLEE CLTB. I - i iSSStklm Or wen rt a big roasting acme day.

EH£n^__ ; That la a rery curious story whkb come* from a Lulberu Church la Danpb- ( In county. A bell Was wanted and at ( was no moner lo pay for it aome had be raised. Tbe brethren were alow to subscribe and none of tbe ladle, were ready V. engage in holding a church fair or an Ice cream featiraL Tbe derice . which waa adopted was certainly a nore! j one. In each of the t* Terns end teloeot in the Tidnlty of tbe church they put up 'a little eafe, with jn opening to receire coins rod marked "For the church Bell;" but they knew that this atooe offend no great Inducement, hot only the opportunity to (Ire. 8o they offend that tbe proprietor of the saloon in who* safe the largest amount of money should be collected at Ihe end of a gins period should be presented with "three do«en eoLgtaes beer goUeta, with his nan* cot on them." ws* a marked saccre*. The young and old flocked Into the riral saloons, drank beer to the delight of the propriepraised tbe Lntheean Church and ' west borne with all tbey could bold. 1 When the banks were opened It was found ; that »106.M bad been eoUected^.nd tbe ' the three dcixee cut-glass beer goblets, with " the proprietor's name cut oo them and was 1 announced tolbeooogregatkaca Sunday. 1 : Tbe heh will oome in due lime and erery ■ God and good beer. Thae plan of mosiey 1 , raising is not likely to he generally "j adapted among the cburcbe* of Ode coon, •'try.

GIRLS SOLD AT A0CT10M. Up al Clear Lake the churchca became tired of the old stereotyped plans of rata- r money and a new scheme was enrol- c i red from the Inner cootciouaeere of some s . bright ge®luv The treasury of tbe Coo- I gregalionaiitt Church|became rather bare ' ' and so 11 fc young folks got together and i determined to fill U to orerflow. After a J long discussion it was decided to bring s about the desired cod by putting ail the t girls of tbd church up at auction to be j disposed of to tbe bigbett bidder. i Tbe lime came around, and erery young I [ mu in that part of Iowa in er near Clear • Lake who bad any mooey or oould potaibly I borrow toy waa promptly on band, eager i to bid to tbe fullest cxieoL But iherc < were some girls on whom U would here Q been impossible lo obtain the bid of as e old-fashioned copper cent, while there I. were other, for whom the lore-sick swains - would willingly hare bid their last dollar, and. In the spirit of Artemus Ward, the last dollar of any of their relatire*. So lo gire all the boys an equal chance, tbe n girls were wrapped up in sheets, so as lo be completely unrecognisable. Each young mu wu positive that beneath the snowy folds of Ihe sheet he oould discern the outline of a girl who be doted on, rod, when ,e from fifteen to twenty of the young fellows singled out one particular sheeted m Object oo which to tteke their fortune, .q excitement ran high and money ran out of it pocket-books like water running down a r. slanting roof. 10 After all the lair ones were disposed of tbe order wu giren to "haul up the y sheets," rod then ensued a indescribable scene of mingled happiness and disappointment. Maidens who had been purchased for a mere aoag,owiog"lo a lack of bidders turned out lo be the best-looking 8. girls lo the town, wWle beings who* svlph-like appearance under a sheet exriu B ed lhe greatest admiration and drew bard,p. earned mooey from unwilling pocket-books were found to be the most common-place I creatures indeed. But all made tbe best of it rod the disappointed ones bore themKlres brarrly, FOOLING HIS COWORBOATIOH.

Tbe reoerable clergymen ro* slowly In [ pulpit, and glancing around on the t thinly scattered congregation, said in an l emphatic tone, in which there wu more J of sorrow than of anger : "My betored brethren, I am in hopes there will be more present next 'Sunday, u I will then ban- 1 occasion to cereal a scandal which has oppressed my heart. It concerns the ' members of this church rery deeply .and no 1 who has a regard for eternal happinero " should be ab*nl." When the benediction | pronounced tbe handful Of people slowly disappeared, but behold how mucB" good seed a few can scalier! Tbe next Sunday tbe sacred edlfloe wu packed.— was, indeed, hardly breathing room when the white-haired sage once more bta bead shore tbe pulpR cusjilooa, and a silence u of death fell upon the expectant throng. He stood for a moment looking upon the onwooled scene; and then bis roiee in Misery cadences broke tbe bush of anticipation. ' 'Dear friends,'' uid, "the scandal which I would rereal to you is this— you will gather in this real to is this— win gainer to inn

place in crowds to hear mischicrous gosbut you will not oome to listen to explanations of the inspired word. Now, my children, I offer my resignation. I going to Europe for six months, and I shall pay my own expenaea" But no one of that ran assemblage took tbe lesson to hiin*U, be applied it lo bis neighbor. HO THEE TO TELL A UE. Jes* C. had the reputation of being the "biggtol liar" in Georgia, and wu nerer , to come out behind. One bot day I H, ut oo tbe shady aide of bil bam. , After dinner be aw Jo* riding in great : toward town! Bill balled bim rod i went SO thegate. Jess taksd bim wbst be . wanted. "Stopand tell us a big lie," uid r "No time for lying now," uid Jess. . "Your node Sol. died suddenly ro hour 1 and I am going for a coroner and I a coffin. " AndonbewcoL Bill ran to , tbe bou* and told hi* wife. . She gathered • up the children. He hitched tbe borae lo , tbe wagon, loaded in bit family, and potted off four mile* through heal and dust to Uncle Sol's On arriring be found s the family and two neighbors in the large kitchen, Uncle Sol, buried to the eyre in half a big watermelon. Tbe surprise wu moloal, rod explanations followed. "Well," uid BUI, "I aaked Jess for a big lie. rod not oolTEoe It, but wu fool goe wu

enoagb to bellere iL I wouldn't beliere him" again if I knew be wu dying." « ■"So you uw my joo V said ro old gen- ' tlomaD to a ma# who bad just resumed ' from Texas ui 1 "Yea ; uw bim a few weeks ago." « "How ia be getting along ?" "First rate." "1 am rery glad to bear iL When be ' left Little Rock I wu afraid be wop id ■ 1 nerer amount to anything." ,. 1 "He's settled down to work now." 1 "Is that an ? Hr wu always an idle e boy, and I wu afraid that be would nerer u " do any work, llu be got a steady aitus- J ' lion r I. "Oh, JM ; he's got I cootracL" ? " "It dues me good to talk to you, air, ' and I'd tike for yon to take dinner with " me. What kind of work is be doing r "I "-i"k he's the carpenter's I trade." "I thought yon uid that be bad a coo- ' - »" "Then how can he be learning a trade-" * Because be's in the Penitentiary. A Artanm* 71 asaflir. J * A countryman upon coming to see the j id sights wu taken by a town friend to a lb thoatre. When the lights wree down and « the play bod commenced, be wu offered y. -.house of anopera-gUu Examining it ry u clouir u the darkneu of the plare xl would permit, he placed it to htt mouth I«dt».rtwd it unward. Finding that oo I? liquid wu coming out of it, he banded it ; "y teek in despair, sayi*ffi "Rh j 10. John : there's no' a angle drop int. — jr. r. iNsnfi'M '

COLORED JUSTICE. Se rural days ago a white man wu or- i raigoed before a colored Jurtioe. down the country, oo charges of killing a mas and stealing a mule. "Wall," said the Justice, "de facu in dis case shell be weighed wld kerefuloesA, an' if I hang* yer taint fanlt ob mint" "Judge, you hare no only lo examine me." "Dat sortor work 'kings ler de rail alar Justice ; yer ut I'« been put oo u a special A special hex de right ter make a mouf at Court ef he chaw ter." "Do the beat you can for me. Judge." ^ "Dot's what I'* gwine ter da I'* got two nh law in dia Coort — de Arkanmw an' de Texas law. I geoerally gins a man dc right ter cboo* .for hlsR'f. Now, what law dore yer want, de Tcxu or de I Alkanuw V "I beliere I'll take the Ar- : kansaa." "Wall, den, I'll diamlu yer fur • ttealln' de mule"— "Thank you. Judge.'' "And hang yer fur killin' de roan"— "I ; beliere. Judge, that IH take the Texas" i "Wall, den, 111 dism'iu yer fur killin' de ■ man" "Yon bare a good heart, > Judge." "An' hang yer fur atealin' de ; mult I'll Jla lake de 'cuion heah ter rer mark dat de ooly difference 'tween dc t two laws ia de way yer Mate de coat* - DANGEROUS, j At Old Orchard Beach, a farorite summer resort oo the coast of Maine, a cooit sen lion was held of religious people at which there were aome rather Krange doings A physician, who was also as tr,f dent Christian, expressed his belief that |C tbe sick could be made whole by prayer. le The Idea waa promptly acted upon, and , many hundreds of sick and ailing people r. were collected lo be prayed orer that they ,f might be made well. Tkc-c were great ,g crowds in attendance, and no liule exciteK ment was manifested. Very many of tbe l.' invalids really thought their conditionj. was lmprored after the ceremonies were u orer. There has been much discussion x about this matter in tbe journals of the ,t day, and judicious people in and out of q. the churches question the wisdom of tbe principal trlorvlnlhit movement. In all ages religious xealoU hare invoked supernatural aid in curing the sick ; but the ex- ! -f -...LImI I- ft, ritaS madL perieocc of is that i' I

cine, and right living are more efficacious thro pilgrimages,— Dcswrett's JfvntUf for October. AN ACCIDENT TO JO COOK. Joseph Cook met with a painful accident oo hi* way to Japan. During the prolonged continuanoe of most vehement meteorological disturbance* sod electrical , discharges rod phenomena, accompaniod . by irregular and violent undulations and f movements of tbe saline*) us be was sb- ; niplly impelled from his insecurely' cs- . lablitbcd rooting on the superior deck, lo , s recumbent position on the deck snbja- . cent; the boardnres of the deck, aggravated by the nailnea of Ihe splkre, diamem- . bered the cart ilaginousnesa of the enribbed , aides. . Tbe injury caused by the fallness 1 fall were skilfully eosurged by the chlrarc geon, and .in the rear. To be, Ihe ecrocbI. asmilaled rolicham resultant from the* . ailinc-aquatic porpbyritlc blending! will . in the fysu-m of the sufferer, wbo will re- I

;. member them ooly by their ever present L Tbe story of tbe princely present of s P check for $100,000 to a Hartford bride re- 1 C calls * some w list similar incident which ' happened a few years ago in San Fran- — Cisco. Tbe pompous father drew bis | check to tbe order of tbe bride for a Jikc amount and placed the prod out document 1 le on tbe table among a display of cream- j rr pitchers and oth«r cadences or esteem. IT All would bare born well bot for tbe un - J ii. timely presence of the cashier of Hie bank at on which tbe. check was drawn. This I id unpleasant wedding guest was observed to ie wink with ooe eye and to turn up his ] id no* in a sarcastic, manner. Oilier wed- . ding guests aaked him why lie thus conducted himself, whereupon ha replied: ar "Why, the old fool hasn't more thro fire id hundred dollars in bank, and nerer has had." It is well for brides alwayi lo get rd Hie* big checks certified if tbey can. The? should also he careful in teoding the proper sort of a boy to bank lo draw the ua mooey. _ If you are subject lo Ague you mutt be ^ ^drisiomOIUoo. For wliro so. jno "111 bt as Ktdnej.Woet. II » Uw b« prercnutlve or si1 sl. malarial Olaesses ^ 7^1 ir^^eeIu new odors there is an rndlrws variety, I

each and erery ooe having iu own diatioct name. DxiETAK, Wis., Sep. 84, 1878. , Gsttb— I liare not taken quite one bottle j or ihe Hop Bturrr I was a 'eroW oMsmn of TS I wril as I 010 al so. Isrrsgre*:msarUtt*»0 ^ In b&glea the latest thing is in brooxe, with curious designs on the sides, sod ail sorts of impossible Ibings dangling thereH you arc nervous e>r dyspeptic try Oar- J YOC WANT IT. i- • X ; "OH EXE.- J ITBLIBHED BVEBT BATt'RDAY , its amwona own---Cmsal- It aa apaes wwetjj Uusarr-Hasur-0 ..ws siaafla Ea^ta. culm attoto a*w*ft. , ir " "| -.!* Wtakmfioa ttrasLCbCaKV " i

^rdtrsl, <ftc. ibl upu l riniiii. of un. iWw ; / lydia e. pinkham'8 YSJSTAELS coHPomn?. h • ■■K.NllMOrprT.emio,rasSmwO«t 8 "Trm'x t*"iurr;i:\irs rrimnu CO is I mm HTH^N^^EDICINE

n IX EITREB Liqt'ID OE DEI TOEH □ TEX'LIYIR, TEX SDWXLS, n in TEX KIBEXTS. ■ WHY ARE WE SICK? : fLyis 1 ■■ I Y JMI ffSTtn i nniiK|9Autt!ull ■ WILL 8URELY CURE . QKIDNEV DI8EA8E8. M LIVER COMPLAIMTS, UriLEs. nssnriTisr, rai*s"T i- M rf.w..r. vimimtcii vg"!*. l- y AXB Siarscs BISSBOEBS. '• Ls way frfjrktvBcd orer SUovIrrtO KUaajsl ' H war ..1>~ er ttra a«4«*.i 11 M Um KID NX V- W OJtToad rc«-o- 1 * *»w»M

Q a* rr or took naroonrr. irucx si.es ■R WELLt.EJCmiBDM)**C*.,riwF^ * cpaWTEl?^ ' IRONFilis * FOR THE BLOOD goiipiisislia Wt rvccsamcod CanerS Irwa Ptnsloersrr ^Atalariy thorn. wbo bare TMa, Tils Upa, KuwBtth or AmtSUoo. Tlwws rffis^qsStt tts trmbbm sMga E«d<b sad Impeo* De myewwm. SOM bysfi^*t^r«w"*StT CAOTER MEDICINE CO., Hew York City.

Tfhrded AGENTA AGEirTH ! AGENTS I Thirty-Three Years Among OUR WILD INDIANS^ Bj Gen. Sherman. [ TO ensuiprm. atr-j 1* Ifta