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VOLUME XXVIII. CAPE MAY CITY. NEW JERSEY. SATURDAY. JANUARY 13.1883. WHOLE NUMBER. 1487.

§ilp OAVI MAY CITY. iff. J. C. ■- UiWATJL • I .50 a y«ar in Advance. (farfls. j b. huffman, ITTOinr *ND r»ltTi*KLI/)R AT LAW •oucitoil^UTEM ktanirxk pp y. Douglass, ' attorn et-at-l aw ■a ffsstxs,™*" y^ alter a. barrows, ~ atto r n e y-a t-law tUxm Itou.v, N. j. j)r. j. f. lea ming ft son, den tt 8 t 8 , ii't'lHicw nor<« -Thervlaji'saii bu •om Matiua -FrMiri. james m. e. h1ldreth. attorney-at-law solicitor. Mi*™* xm> rxaminer in •"HANOIST. (Om» at No. m VvUapon Uw. CwUr kkbert w. edmunds, attorney-at-law, SOLICITOR AKD MASTER uf CHANCERT. C*P* MEJCH?. S.J. nll-j luhm tox&t. ■gJNOB R. williams, ARCHITECT and builder. WILL MAKE DRAWING*. AND SIT ERIE'HID OR OONTRACT. B. little, painter ^axd'ql azier, o^ank and sewing mab. f. horner, PIAKOS, OEGAN? & *EWn<G HACDfES Q TO garrison's STATHMT, AKD STOKE VAEIETT rcb oold peim. ansa book*. toilet PATER. POCEET v .ull, SHELL 00008. fuilUlO TA'ELE. CURAT UBRAJUEM. MINIATCR* BOATS MAVUPACTTRKD OR TOE PREMIAES ■EWWO MACHINE NEEDLE- \KD OIL A SPBCIALTT » WASHINGTON STREET. CAPS MAT. R.J 0<iw?A!G.A>5ninioBBKB FELTBOEE. CLOTHING. BOOTS A SHOES. D. P. DIETERICH. New YortBeWag and Packing Company WAREHOUSE- MP CHB*r.vrTfgT-REET. Bnunuiu. pa j^iggs ft brother. AMERICAN WATCHES, m WALXUT, Oar. DOCS STEKlrr. PHILADELPHIA. watches a jkwklrt repaired. j 8. k. hand ft son, - ONLY PRACTICAL JEWELERS CAPE MAY DIAMOND CUTTERS. ! HO. 11 WAAHIROTOR STREET, cm mat cm. ■tsrxnm or Pua JnuT a Stbciaiwt. i 3 i architect and supervisor j oo walnut street, , piui.atiei.phia. MADE. john m. russell, (•oower to BoeIms A RomlU OERERAL BRALRX IN DBT GOODS, GROCERIES, - BOOTS, SHOES AND NOTTOBA FLORH AND FEKD, »w POSE. LARD. HAMS, SEEDS, Ac. ' JOHN M KPSAELL, j COM If-IEJ. IMP HA. On, *. J. c-i-:. - - i

Wrfltal. 1 DARBYS PROPHYLACTIC FLUID. A B.-rhotd Artlclv lor Oalvwael Mil"- ' I Sndicat* , j IsapareAIr ul, jg* mrmd*l?fZr ^ ' Cootoctoo 0— ii 1 1 c ' ^4 BtwMiuqo^mI"KptthBriA | c»i^?riib'A UT!T'~ .. i I Pre rented. J " saS^i$fLSi.t£?r:L; . Isorurmrl TsasuMSsasejiB Ibrtpo iWgttuj. nwc. A. . Amobcaia t • jrsjsf MswrEtg. I StSj-ofr' DUM,<'V-D-1 Wm? ngr Tto rhaC h~ tL. thj^ky u»ud.uj » . SSHSsSiMHJH VAN Rl-RHHS LADIES' TONIC. ; r A Positive Cert for afl Foatlo Complaints. ■ i mrnfymm § : 1 t«M b, Or»tsin,. rw«. si.oo. i ■p^EMEMRER this. £m£ UL for Hop Hitlers ere . mMD rtmtOj to ilwl reeapleaitt. II poo arr weaila* ewaj wsa toy form of tot, ood torn for a tort u. Hup Bnton. | 5?25S!s5Sro!nDiI^SJiT?2p3!o" i Igr^Dloom^fcw^wlllbo paM for a cwa 1 bli^aSe.1 '^liSoMOKm aSS?" ju1?? i SlCKREADACHr rPOSITIIILI CURED BI CAHTERlSj SSIPII^ gsasgSiSSi •

■InallDff For a Krcdpl. - J "Sow. my door." raid Mr. Spoopeo- | dyke, "yoo oeedoT burry. but yuo'd bet. | tor get ready pretty aocai. Train doot ' go far on boar on o bolt ood we'll bare I | plenty of time to eft tliere." ! 'Tm all roodv." chirped Mra. Spoopen- ! I I dyke.' bowling ab mil "U'a boi and we , want to lake ple nty of time." 1 j 'Trankaall porke^qripeogka? Boak- . 1 ' et? Ererrthtap p-.-Oeelr' | "Yea. Indeed t rni lira. Spoopen- 1 ; dyke gleefully, "tti . wmt the trunk oter j 1 by the ezpteraou n. on all you're got to do it to check it at the stalino " "Tbat'a rigbL" aaid Mr. Spopcndykc. 1 kitting bit wile. "Tbat't tbe way to do . ' things. D -I you nail a card on tbe ' trunkr |1 i "No, I , ' i t'Yoa diiln'i! Ilow're we going to find ' it? Expect that trunk's going to walk up ' and recognise ue;;ihink that trunk's going 1 to get up and make a speech, and any It'a Spoopeodyke'a trunk?" "Tbe expressman aaid it didn't need ' any cank. He gate me a receipt for it, , ' I and aaid that w.nid do," tattled Mrs. 1 Hpoopendykc. ' "I don't know hut it will. I reckon he'. 1 right shout that. Where'a the receipt?" | | asknl Mr. Spoopendykc, cheerily. ' "Lot 'a ate." rejoined M rs Spxjpeodyke, 1 putting ber finger to her lips, "I put It ' somewhere. Now. I wooder"— ' "Take your thumb out of your nywith Yon didn't slick it down your I throat, did you? Don't you know where 1 you put ttT' Mrs. Spoopendykc searched hurriedly 1 through bar pocket-book, and then looked I in tbe bureau drawer*. "Don't be impatient dear," she aaid, ' bunting behind tbe clock and rummaging 1 i tag in the rases. "I pot it somewhere. I 1 know?" 1 "What aort of a thing was it, a chock? 1 What did it look- llkcT demanded Mr. Spoopendyke. ' "It wasn't a check. It was long and 1 wide," replied Mrs. Spoopendyke. t "So'a a cow. Did be gire yoy a cow? 1 Did U look like a cow?" What d ye do ' with ur 1 "It was a regular receipt oo a piece of paper," sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke. "I * bad it when I commenced dressing. Now, 1 what did I do with it?" 1 "What d' ye think yoo did with it? ' iiang it op oo a nail? Did you cook it? 1 . What ye standing there for? Why don't ^ ye look for it? S'poae tbe gastod thing's 1 coming to yoo? Did it hate legs? Was 1 j it oo wheels?" 1 Mrs. Spoopendyke bustled around and * searched again Just where she bad L searched before. r "What d' ye want look there fort Why 1 don't you atop and try to think what you did with it? Ain't you got any sense at 1 alL scarcely?" bowled Mr. Spoopendyke. 1 "S'poae tbe meaaly thing crawled into tbe * dock? Got any idea that it climbed orcr the aide of tbe two rases, and bid itself * in both? Why dooT you pul things *' where you can Rod them?'1 * "I generally do," sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke. "Oh! yaa, ybu da Yoa always do, '' don't you? When business gets dull I'm c going to fill you up with Uulc boxes and 1 start deposit with you. Haren't you found it yet? Ilow'm I going to get " it that trunk without a receipt? S'poae * thai dad gaated railroad's going to wait 11 around like a fly on a doughnut while 1 T swear to which is my trunk? Think that's the only trunk they're got one there? T Here, yon gU down here and let me look '' for that thing. You woo't find It any * luore'n a heathen would find cocao- '' 1st ton in tbe Thirty-nine Articles. Sit down there while 1 lake tbe bouse to 0 pieota, ye bear mr!" Mr. Spoopendyke Jumped up and tore around like a green apple in a Suodaytcbool stomach. g "Look bete, said Mrs. Spoopkendykc, pointing to tbe chair ber buadand bad eaca- ' tod. "There it is now. You're been ' sitting on iL" ■ Oirc Him m mcdsl. - « ' From tbe Dtsroa Prss Press. , On a Woodward arenue car yeaterday . ooc of our solid citirena, whose weather I predictions bare nerer been disputed (lnce l ; be was rated worth #50,000, remarked to J an acquaintance that this was unusual [ weather for tbe iaat of December. He had 1 ' spoken when an old man with a I bundle under bis arm bopped .up and re- J ; plW: I "It la, eh? I'll just bet you an eren t dollar that you arc mistaken.'" a "IacT this unutual weathe ?" < i "No, ail! Hi bet you two to one wo . bad Just such a December week three, c j fire and eight years ago. Pul up your - cash." t "Oh, I don't bet oo tbe weather; still. 1 think each soft weather at this lime of > year is singular." I I "Bet you three to one It isn't lingular;" i cried tbe old man. , I "I told you 1 wouldn't bet:" "Thee doo't be deceirlog people with t your weather talk. Bet yau four to ooc j you can't toll what tbe weather was in c September." ( I The solid ciliaen we. bluffed into ailence for a momenttand then be remarked: l "Looks as if wt might bars snow. " t "Bet you fire' to uoe wc doot nee a t flake this wreak> Piped tiw old mtui; "hew n I cao you ci[pet aoow worn the air iant j "Toen it may rain." t ! "No, it went; Bet you six to con you i ! nerer saw rain with tbe wind whnreUi.?" f { "Well, the barometer indicaua a storm . , j of acme aort:* shouted the solid man. ! "1U toke you on that, loo, and bet you ; to one that it doesn't: " f The prophet sonnet! about to haul out 1 toil back in to. teat sad gr:,wied out: * "Maybe my IbrensuBctcr doem't stand at | fifty -four dfgiius shore. " , "No, airi No. sir; IT bet you eight ' I to one. thai you err at leaakTIm^grnea | I out .gibe war: Crane, ntnrt" . But Ibe aoiid matt came not.

A Qocrr Drrsa. . Boston TruscnpL I want totall you. cbil(trm. of Ibe qoeer ; dream I bad last night, f dreamed tlial i things were greatly changed Irom' what 1 bad always been accustomed to are .(than. . , 1 thought, for iiistsDCr. that babttV mouths were no longer made at common . as tbe common ahsrlng mug at the barN ber"s. but that nobody presumed to kit* a . baby until tbe Infant bail urgently rrquea- . ted tbe faror. , 1 I thought that when a 'why's stomach was full to orerfljwlng with food, the 1 homeopathic theory of timilia aimilihue , currantur was not foliowed, and instead . of plying him with more food to reHere him from the distress occasioned by tbe orerplus of food which was dislnaaicg his stomach wgp permitted to psy i exciusire attention to getting rid of ill , And I fancied that tbe young thing was no longer tossed about until bis erery threatened to break, when be waa tired and wished only to be pliowed rest and sleep, nor rocked into dizziness when tbe toaacr bad grown r cry weary of the tossing. 1 thought, loo, that the infant bad oeased swathed io tightly rolled smpa, and was now clothed in loosely fitting garments which allowed him to more Its and limbs with ease and freedom. I dreamed that babies were nerer whippud because their mammas bad lost tbeir and tlial they were nerer made drunk with soothing syrup, that their might attend the lecture, the play or the ball. I thought that grown persona had ceased to ask a child his age, if his bat or dram or Lis shoes were new, or where he gat them, or any of tbe questions which are considered impertinent when addressed to an adulL 1 thought that when a little boy su tired be waa not forced to gire bis oomfortable cbaii to a lady or gentleman who was not tired at all, sod thai when a child bad secured a windowscat in a steam car it was not taken from simply because be was a child. 1 thought it bad became the fashion to "thank you" to a boy -gentleman or miaa-lady, and that "yea, air," and "oo, ma'am," were no longer cxcluatrely uaed larger growth. I dreamed that little boys and girls sometimes allowed to ask questions which their parents srerc not particularly interested, and were answered with the same consideration that would base been accorded them had they been the moat insufferable adult bore* you crer of. I thought that parents nceur attempted deceive their children, but always told tbcm the truth without prevarication or 1 dreamed. that because parents bad forgotten how to whine and scold, children failed to loarn tbe aria of whining and angry articulation. I thought that little girls were taught to run and romp last rod .if bring allowed all ail day. and that keeping tbeir clothing unwilled and tbeir muscles flaccid not tbe whole of tbeir education. 1 thought that mothers cared more to secShwr bey: e"h ruddy cheeks than with clean hands, and that lung* and were considered as worthy, of deI thought that Children were more like pleasant adults became of ail these iransand that adult* far a like rearetained more of the freshness and ingenuousness of childhood. Now, children, wasn't this a most ridiRioble Thought*. Nothing Is so reasonable and cheap as good manners.— Otm QviioU. All who Joy would win most share iL Uappiee** was born a twin.— Byron. As the rolling Hone gathers no moat, tbe roving heart gathers no affections. Mr, Jammm. Little minds are tanned and subdued by misfortune, but great mlnda rise above it. - rjNUqba Jrwing. It la in vain to gather virtues without for the Spirit of God driigbtcst dwell in the beans of tbthumble - uk Tbe bore is usually considered a hanncreature, or of that ciaaa of irrational bipeds who hurt only themselves.— Jfocui a#« *4 The true grandeur of humanity is in moral elevation ■i-.t.i™.*' and decorated by tile intellect of man.— Tbe true urn of civilisation is not ibe census, nor the site of cities, nor tbe crops —no, but the kind ot man the country He who does not respsct confidence will never find happiness in bis path. Tbe in virtue vanishes from his heart, tbe source of nobler action becomes extinct in him.— AMfmhtrg. Til a rule that goes a great way In the government of a tober man's life not to pot anything to hazard that may be secured by Industry, consideration or circumspectioo. —VKttrattfc. It la when our budding hopes are nipped beyond recovery by some rough wind oureelves what flower* they might have if they had flourished —XMsksaa. There are momenta when tbe pale and - modem star, kindled by God in eimplc which men call ososdence, illumour path with truer light thau Ibe flaming comet of genius ,m its magnificent , A Scot's New vear: A canny Soot Lad I got bimarif installed in the eldership of . Uic kirk, and bad tor nome time carried around tbe ladt. for Ibe e-Beclfcmr. He bad accepted tbe offloe of ekW because uwwwig had made bim believe ttaltbe *iT?St,cYZ^a^VT Use time arrived b» claimed bis me*3.hBI was toid ihat it bad beaa botxed "It may ba me with the meal." ha raid.

He Waa clad or it. Almost every night of bis life for the : rr last twenty-three yean a Dctroltcr has >t _ been aroused from bis slumbers by t puke In 'in Uic ribs, and s voice whispering: , * "John' John: do you bear that:?" ' • On such occasions the conversation lata i »' always run in one channel, and about aa . *> follows: . '■ "Wlsuser want?" "Doo't you hear that noier?" , •- "Ltaeu! I tell you some one is raising | a window?" , *> "Ob: bosh.'" | •c "For Heaven's sake, John, get up or " well be murdered in our bods.' I bar "1 some one moving round in the dining'8 "There it is again: If you dooT get T up * will, tor fm all in a chill!" " There was no peace until John got np, . stumbled around the house wlibs rusty ; f old revolver in his grip. He ncvei sx- i T peeled it wsj anything more than the u wind or the frost or tbe cat. but almost , d every night brought a repetition. ( ■ Tbe other night ushered in an entire • >f Change of programme. Just before mid- | night the wife elbowed bis splee, ami , d whispered: ' "Merry on me.' but 1 feel s draught of C cold siri" * "■ "Nonsense:" growled the sleepy bus- *" "And I bear someone walxing around!" v "It's tbe call" "Got out of bed this minnle. or I'll 'r yell mnrder and arouse the neighborJohn obeyed. He felt the cold air on d bit legs as he tramped through the upper , 1 ball, and when be was half war down . * stalls a dark figure skipped out of Uie is npsn float door. When be reached the ; u threshold lie saw a man running across the street, and be called ouU » "Hello: U{ere-bald on!" T "Come back here, yoo burgiai! Dkuc J back and I'll gire yon the run Slhc boose! I've been wailing for and expcctn ing you for over twenty ycare, and now I don't want to be shook in this manner!" , * the man.K° ' ' mCJlC4' , '• "Well, IH leave tbe door open for you, , d and you can enter and burglar aroand for , '' a whole hour if you want to and I woo't | lift a finger. I'm glad you got in— pow. , erful glad, and sorry I drove yon out be- | I fore yon loaded up!" . " He left tbe door open and walked np II stairs and lumped into bed, but bis wife | c threw up a window and whistled for a , « police and railed such a racket that the , ' neighbors were aroused. It was found ■ tlmt the robber bad opeoed tbe door witb , 3 a fain ley. but bad been driven away ( i before he had time to secure any plunder. ' "I've Joat got tired of poking around . for burglars when there arc no burglars," | r- exclaimed the man aa be wived tlic crowd , D oat of tbe bill, "and If tbe chap bad only j C Hopped long enough to fire at me a couple , ot time* If I wouldn't have bought bim a 11 new overcoat!— Detroit Fr4t Pros. i , ir Wanted to Hake Tblsft Llvclz. a At an early hour Tuesday forenoon a t boy about twelve years of age enured a 0 Woodward avenue store, bogging a big ' ° rocking-horse in his asms, and as be ' placed it oo Ibe floor he laid to one of the k clerks: "Got that in my Christmas stocking. 1 J s guess it wis bought bcre." u "Yea, that was sold by us." J "An old woman about 00 years old a bought it, didn't she?" "I think so." ' ~*-ibd of a motherly -looking woman who looked aa though sbc didn't know ' what a boy wanted no more than a pig can fly?" ' J "I didn't notice about tbaL What's ' the matter witb the horse?" "TBe hone Is all right, but toe idea of ' a boy as big aa mc fooling around with a 1 '■ bobby bone! Grandma must bare been ' '- crazy. 1 threw out about a dozen bints, 1 but abe waa bent oo getting tola borse." ' J "And what do want?" ' "Want to trade it, of course." ' "For what?" 11 "Well. I want a (eveodbooter rcvol- ' " vvr. " "Don't keep 'em." "Then 1 want three or four pistols ot 1 >- shoot real bullets." 11 "We bare none." " "Any Bowse-knivca, slung-aboU?" ' "Not one." " "Any ebot-guna?" t "Wul* 1 - "Got any cannons " ' "None." 4 "Haven't yoo got nothing that'll aboot 1 * or —n or blow np or smash things?" 1 "Th# only article* ws have are Uo j « "Then I'll take aboot six swordz and * toe rest in engines. 1 guess I know where L I can trade Ibe swords for a toy pistoLsnd : t- then III be fixed to make things lively. That's just like an old grandma. She'd ie go and pay #4 for a thing like this when o twenty shillings would have bought t pisto! and enough powder and bulieta to pep. r- per every pane of gisss out ot the barn." —Detroit Frm Prtn. d — m d A Doctor's PHenunn. * There is a traditiou of a trial before a Justicr of tbe Pewce In whteh s widower, J who bad lost bis wlfs Dotwithatanding l" toe aaidooui care of Ibe family pbysi- •' cte. conducted his, own defense of toe w baler's suit for bis bUL After toe Doe- " torhad testified, describing that toe defesidI ant bad called bim; that be had bevitalfti ^ j to go lest defendant, whose credit was If rather "sbaky." should refuse to pay; that defendant bad aaeerveratod muss poritireIe ly that be would pay, "kill or cure." and i thai toe IRictar bad then made divers vis- „ 1 Ba. etc, toe defendant oroSFerimioed ly , bimtbuk "Yon swear. Doctor, that 1 aaid I- that 1 would pay, "Ull or cure?' " "YW," ^ • "Now, you vbd wot enre my wife, fflri d, TO"'" "Ka" "Wall, dentor, 4* yoo cc km k-er And to* sapieat JnMkc noo- ' auttod tbe pbyslrian.

| TOE Is SOT rilJJII IS. 4 For Croup, ldministcv a loaspoonful of i 0 f' strong alum wsterr repeat the dole every 1 15 minutes until free vomiting occurs. I'ut 8 tbe feet and limbs in hot water, and tben '' ■ wrap tip In "flannel; place on Ibe chest a * poultice of oren meal sprinkled will: mus- t; UrtL Beware of old draughts. Aa the " attack departs, adminiuer a dose of mag- * I ncsia, rhubarb or castor oil. When the 1 children are liable te croup, always keep 11 toe alum water aolution ready on the 8 r withstand. ' ' Toothache may be tpeedily ended by * - toe application of a small bit of cottro 1 saturated with ammonia to toe defective 1 tooth. 1 l It may be useful to know tost hoarse- ' neal may be relieved by using toe white ' , of an egg thoroughly beaten, mixed with 1 r Juice and sugar. A teaspoon fui ' - taken occasionally is toe dose. 1 E There is scarcely an ache to which chil- 1 I dim are subject so bard to bear and so 1 difficult to cure aa ear-ache. A remedy 1 e which never fails is a pinch of black pi p- ' " gatbend up in a bit ol cotton batting. ' I in tweet oil and inserted in toe car. li 1 will give immediate relief. ' ' Remedy for chilblains— Take a piece of 1 lime toe size of yaur double flat: pul it in 1 - warm water and sunk toe feet in il ne 1 warm aa it can be borne for half an hour. 1 For a scald or bora, apply immediately pulverized charcoal and oil. Lamp oil 1 1 will do, but linseed is bettor. Tbe effect ' - is miraculous. 1 For cfasppod lips, mix two tablespoon- 4 > full of clsrificd honey, with s few drops ' r of lavender wafer, or any other perfume, 4 and anoint toe lips frequently. 4 To remove ware* got a little bullock [ 4 gull, and keep il in a bottle, rub a little < on toe warts, two or three limes a day, 1 and in a abort lime tory will disappear. 1 To remove cold sores, rub toe first fin- * gcr behind tbe esr close to the part which is ' 4 joined to toe head, and then rub toe sorts. 1 4 The secretion removes tbe sore in e short ' - lime if applied every tssraty minute*. I To make good nicking plaster, pot two ' spoonsful of hslssm of- Peru to tlx of is- ' I inglass, melted with very little wstor aod ' strained. Mix these well together in a • small Hone Jar over the fire. Pin out r out some black Persian or sarsenet on a ' ' and dipping a brush Into tbe mix- 1 - pass it over toe allk five or Hx times, t - then bold it to the fire, but not very ncsr, and it will soon become black and shining. ' A good wash to prevent the hair from j 4 falling out is made with one ounce pow. r ' derod borax, half an ounce powdered ■ camphor, one quart' of boiling water. ' When cool, pour into a bottle for use, and a 1 clean tbe bead with iL applying witb t ' flannel or sponge once s week. For dyspepsia pour ooc quart of cold j ' water on two tablrepoooafuPof unslacked lime; let stand a few minutes, bottle and ( 1 cork, and when clear U it ready for use; , ' put three tables pooosful in a Tup of milk, j 4 and drink any tiny, usually before meals ( A good Hory of toe old Arkanaas stage I from Fayeltevllle to Alma, now sup1 planted by toe railroad, il told by a cor- a [ respondent of toe New Orleans Time a- i | DmoeraL lfia fellow. passengers on a s ' certain night were a mild -eyed college o professor and a plain, blunt man in a 1 checkered shirt and trousers to match, o At one point io the road the professor's ii bat blew off aod over toe precipice, but c caught co a bush ten feet below. The i professor was terribly distressed, and offcrod #35 for iu recovery. When the I driver, who let himself down by one of c bis reins, bad returned the bat and re- • rrirod bis reward, toe professor explained 4 ( that bills amounting to #1100 were sewed > under tbe lining. Tbs stage rumbled on c J sod everytoi ng seemed favorable for a ■' quid: trip, wben suddenly a road agent Hepped out from behind a tree. He 1 searched toe passengers, but found so lit- I \ tic to reward him for his trouble that be ' got mad and swore be would take their « clothes and acud tbctn oo naked to the 1 next station. His revolver waa an onan- '• swerablc argument, and they were about 1 to strip, when toe passenger in toe cboak- 1 cred shirt called out: "Look io too lining I , of tost fellow's hat and yon will find some ' mooey." Tbe poor professor's #1100 was ' soon in toe pocket of toe robber, who ' forthwith decamped. Tbe stage went on, c but such was tbe rage of toe driver and ' other passengers ml bis poltroooey that be ' of tbe checkered shirt had to walk. The 1 next day he appeared at toe bote! in Alma, c took the professor aside, aod made him ' t accept #3000, saying that be knew be ap- 1 peared like a dirty scamp, but tbe fact 1 j waa be had (10,000 under false soles io ' bis boots, and mnH inevitably have lost I it if be bad not devised a plan to e^Hpe c being stripped, ne waa a rich broker 1 j and bad douned his rough ooHutnc to avoid trouble in tbe mountain*. " A colored man living oc Indiana street 0 lately bad occasion to ask toe advice of. I - the patrolman in that district aa to bow " be should treat some boys who called bim t names as be passed a certain corner. ■ "I wouldn't mind 'em," waa toe reply. < "Jial what I reckoned on," said toe to treat 'em wid proud disdain. But dar's ' a naybur o' mine who frosra clubs at my r, dog an awM-nry cbireo: VoSH ydh " g also come de proud disdain over bim ?" ' "Yes, I think aa" e "And dar's a while man libin' round de : s- oo'ner who aayi I Hole his ax. I reckon I >- dal prood disdain wfil fix bim if I keep J II up loog enough ?" * "It certainly will" it "Wall, den U am settled dal I doan' v talk back in none o' dese Jesses, hot dari A am one flog I want tm4>rftood right beak a. an' now. lie asx' tone I am injoyin' an' j ebanin' siesta on de door-stepajaiid a six- , pound cabbage biu me oo de middle west111 button dari woo't be no prwd disdain to ," be bad in any groosy fur a mile aroon'.' Interferes wid me am gwine to he reoered "■ Iincoaadnu* for forty eight days!"— DttnUPnm. 1 i

A Tragic Clastic ol Poker. i wsy to New Orleans on a Uiwissippi 1 steamboat. Bill and I set up ■ game in the main saloon. The play used to be kept up pretty much all day, and aousetlmca we would win or lose several ' thousand dollars in a day. The game was when moH of tbe boya were more or less of wioe, and were wimctimcs very , Well, one nlgbt wc were Just j going to sit down to toe tabic, toe lamps 1 were lighted, and two new. docks of cards ' were bnAen, when a little fellow, with a moustache, who aaid lie waa a Kentuckian, asked to join the game, aa lie wanted to learn it. lie showed a big roll of mooey. and we assented, thinking wc bad caught a regular sucker. Wc been playing half an hour when Bill, oo the strange*'* deal, got four kings pat, and started oil by raiiing toe pot #ltM, tbe ante being #50. The pool mounted up to over 45,000 before the draw, and much to bis surprise. Bill simply called ; tbe first bet of #500, auei the hinds were them shown. Tbe stranger bail scarce time to lay down four nee* on the table when Bill raised one of his coat tails io hand, and discharging the revolver through the pockcL 'Hie stranger threw up his hauds, half rose from chair, and with a uioan, fell forward no toe table, knocking over the and tben tumbled back on toe door stona dead. Of course toe excitement waa tremendous; revolvers were drawn, and a general panic ensued. Bill never liia nerve for a second. tSays be : "Gcnllememriust let mc explain Ibis little muter. " TWt man beld four accs, and is toe ooc I discarded from my own band. 1 never raw a deck ol card* with ace* of apades, aod I'll swear that the deck waa ail right when I counted it at toe beginning of toe game, and ao will friend here (meaning me). And if you want any more evidence, look here ;" and with toal be yanked off toe Kentuckian'a false" moustache, and who shoo Id the stranger be but Chipper Jim, a noted skin and desperado. We made np a committee t* chuck toe body overboard. One of Ibe queerest parts of tbe whole stamp* ; tbe half of il Was counterfeit Atheists Incompetent as WltJudgc Briggs, in a comprehensive opin. ion delivered in Philadelphia recently, ruled thai atheists and ail others who do not believe in a Divine being and Divine rewards and punish menu are incompetent a* witnesses. The question was brought up on a motion for a new trial in a suiL the ground for toe motion being that Briggs bad admitted toe testimony of Robert Becker, who said Lhat, although believed in the Creator of the universe aud in a supreme power which would punish bim bcre for false swearing, be did not believe io God as commonly understood by toe people, nor in God as an entity. There was oo other evidence in support of the objection to toe witness. After quoting authorities, he continued : "It follows that toe faith of a w itness should be a religious belief of some kind toe existence of an omniscient being who will reward and punish cither here hereafter for good or evil deeds. A belief in a power as exhibited by tbe forces of nature, and call it supreme and yet ignore lhat that power it toe handiwork of tbe omniscient and omnipotent God, ia totally insufficient to meet toe law's re quiretncuU. Nor it any advance gained asserting lliatTie who violates tbe law of nature will be putrfcbed, fur admittedly such punishment win follow with unercertainty. If one jump overboard In or viulato any law of his natural existence. be would be immediately punitocd JuH in proportion that be violates these natural laws. A belief in tuck a punishment is not a belief in Divine punentertaining il competent to tcHUy under our law. While the wiloeas said he believed in a supreme power that would puuiali him here for false swearing ( he would m* aay that be believed that power was Divine, and be totally denied the personality of God and of God as generally understood by people. With aifrh a belief how can be lie aaid to be in faar of Divine punishment for teHifying falsk- ? HI* belief being defective in Ibis respect, il fails short of oof of the legal requirements which is indispensihle to exist to entitle hiui to be examined aa a witness in the conru of this Bute. It follows that I erred in receiving his testimony aod that a new trial should be ordered." A Good Thing. "Look here," said toe Governor to a high official, "wben are you going to pay mc that #10?" "Upon my honor, Governor, I don't "Why, air, toe other day wben I mentioned tbe fact of your indebtedness you asked me where I would be. next Toctdxj-' "Yea. air." "Well, sraan't tbat a promise that you i would pay me Tuesday ?" "No, air.". "Why, Tben, id you want to know 1 wbore I would be Tuesday ?" "Because 1 wanted to know where i you'd be so I could make arrangements to i somewhere else," Tbe character of toe publican and sinner ia not always practically Incompatible . with lhat of toe modern Pharisee, for toe > majority of us scarcely see more distinc- , ly toe fauiUoeas of oar own argument* or "• toe dullocos of our own Joke*.— Gorge - EUoL e Hard workers are subject to bllloox at-

3lftt' ^drfrti5mrttt. Holiday Goods at Wanamakers. One quarter in the store is peculiarly a Holiday quarter, n gift quarter: a place where just a little use is made die j vehicle for a great deal of luxury. It is lull now; full of wonders; full of pretty things; full of silly things; full of surprises; full of what nobody expects; full of what everybody expects; full, as it has been full near Christinas time before. Beginning at the very centre of the store, next north are two counters, one of them very large, and one half as largfc, filled to overflowing with perfumeries and other toilet articles and implements. We positively must not begin to mention names, nor even classes. The only way to get away from these miraculous things is to break away. v Next northwest is a collection of small things that people used to luxury will recognize under the name small leather articles. About i the biggest thing tliere is a portfolio or writing-case. I'ockctbooks are the commonest But such pocket- . books! J Oh, yes you can get goda substantial pocketbooks there, with not a cent 1 of extravagance in them ; but naturally we are thinking of the brighter ones. Leather isn'tfine enough. They must enamel it paint it aeck it out with silk and shining silver and gold. Every year people get worse and worse. Every year they must have stranger and stranger things. Silk, plush, velvet and hir bags are there, with all their pretty and handy and cunning fastenings. But we must hurry on. Next northwest are writ-ing-papers. Here's RJonir for a treatise. We're not going to stop. But anybody who passes that white-look-ing island of trade in the sea of people, without finding out wjiat Wanamaktr Best means, in or out of Holiday time, is a loser. What a glory has a page of fore paper ! Photograph albums are next on northwest ; and here the circle widens. Is all that long row photograph albums- ? Is it possible that so many people didn't buy albums last year, when we brought over a ship-load almost ? There's a new set of people this year, may be. At least the photographers haven'tgoncoutol business. At tins, end arc velvet frames ; yonder arc boxes of leather and plush. You can nay $6o for a box that a touch will sjioil. Don't suppose that the things put out to show, even under glass, arc the fine ones. Whisper to the saleswoman that your pocket is futl ot money, and - that you are aching to get rid ol it, -Brass and bronze! Oh, see the mob of brasses and bronzes. Open your dictionary. The first word you 1 come to has its image there. Preposterous things ! Have your wits about you. An artist has studied out -every one. The artist is a wag too ; 1 for jokes abound ; little touches of humor and broad farces. So there is pathos; i and beauty everywhere. But shall wc presume to discourse often thousand things in a shop, each of which was , born of Art? , North fttan osntn.aU Ibe «*r So ths outer Everything in Dry Goods, - Wearing Apparel, and 4 Housekeeping Appoint- : ments sent by mail, express J or freight, according to cir- : cu instances-subject to return and refund of money if not satisfactory. Catalogue, with det'Jls, mailed on applica- [ tion. v John Wanamakek.