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_ VOLUME XXVIII. CAPE HAY CITY. HEW JERSEY. SATURDAY. MARCH 24. 1883. WHOLE NUMBER. 1497.

Ote.*JC MAY CJITTr, *». J. %l.50 a yaar in Advance. Jlfwlmtaul Cards. rJ B. HUFFMAN'" Pf r. DOUG LASS, • ATTOBNEY-AT-LAW . No. «fW»T»TWT!BA!<C,™V «1» O.FX K.T ClVT. tyF ALTER A. BARROWS, A TTOBX E TAT-LAW »** • _ *TT ■OU.'.V. J. i. F. LEAMnrrTi son, DENTISTS, ' jwp* *SnypnSH,— ATYORSfE Y -AT-LAW •oUcttoe, Vj^rn »m examines v nSf? L "ppntBEBT W^EDMUXIIS. ® ATTOhjTE Y-AT-LAW, eoucmm Ann mm rx cBirnnr. <*»> MarOBr.K J. mi:- 7 lasinrts Cards. JJN08 R. WILLIAMS, ABCHITECT AND BUILDER. Fill mil DHAWIJion. *XD IWTTBUK •moi ^ a LITTLE. PAINTER™*}?!)* GLAZIER, Jt~- n-j; IM, HOW. QRGANS AND SEWING MAB. F. HORNER, nuns. DBGiHs s sewihb hachhes Q. TO QABRI9CWS BiHBffll, AND STORE HHETI FCU OOt.U t-EKV Bl.sSE BOOKS, TOILET TlTtA POCKIT t'tUKTi MILL GOOD*. r.MlIMi TACKLE. uwu*. rMtlhil TACKLE. CHEAP UBKAKtEs

HINUTVM BptTB ■ lyincri'l'EP OK THE run IBCS. B8W ISO MAOTg^BUtDtAS AMD OIL A » a .AHncarus stiiecy. , in u4T- B j IJU6K, CLOTHTNt;. HWTv A SHOES. O. P. DIETERICH, New T«k Belling ■SSSraSSKSattSJWS^ j^ISCS A BROTHER. AMERICAN WATCHES, ■i atauur. ox. dock araarr. PHILADELPHIA WAtCBEB A JEWELRY REPAIRED J k MATLACK, wi>rt«.aw«w a.ntum. mromiiiffloiSEWEEnPE, J s. X. HAND A BON, OSLY JTACTTCAL JEWELER? CAM MAY DIAMOND C'LIIBHB. ha ii WAiaixvroH steeet. E1-"* ABCHITECT AND SUPERVISOR 08 WALNUT STREET, fW-ADHLPHU. f— " <° BmEmxAR.n. OENEBA'- THALER IK DBY GOODS. ^KOCERIES, •OCYB. (HUE ASD KotJMR. FLOSB .AND FEED, patext riEOieniKs, roar. item. BAMS, SEEDS, Ac j . ^°*** '*** <«» Co., x. j. P-

glrfflrs!. i DAEBYS PROPHYLACTIC '< fluid. ^ P«— Lj l x."* Por Komrlrt mod : mu, Isssi^E, S^aj£j^£?%?£ i f FITTINO of Small ' SsjpsSj saSSs ! [ Preheated. | ||p£iafiP ■ cx&d»-a.i-j i *- **«bsesv Jgga^j&gS£-L |s»ri* revel SsBSiS 2f3HS£?S3^ — 13. . " . w . . MmAcu^ I *in""ujLPIIU "■A YAH Bl'EEXY LADIES' TONIC.

A Positive C«p« fop all Ferasle Ifi Complaints. 1^*' stl*. ii.se. , Br»l Blllcra Enr Mode. ! TLajmimowpooialol text Uwa.Bail.Budm. "yy *~tr i^^Tiiui* rrr |. ah orlrer helng U. EtiwdBtorf - Partftar, Lw»r KaEmBlM, mmd utr mctf Hwlit BMorbE AfAt go nrtk. No Aliaam or ill mwita caopoodbij MaE^cEW wmmj^irnox^Bib I, "rfJEIXDwrllloomaoMor «,llaxw and lardj of iw bonla or lalornqr orxama. or ate * ortuola ate wmmtauat.' ntem^teXlaaL K oa tel. I L «om Donn no onui joo is akA, tet it yon ooij ' frtHmAor uiw. mil' , w tfnj, ftnmu otra. It W| aan to Bto. Baadtna tea. term omTM by an OMnt. BOO xHIbapmU for a emw •ayarnimoicorrorVly. Dona, am Ear or lot jomr fnnal .oS«. bat oar «■«■■» ««M» «o M Hop ^aw. ^ ^ QPttOBL1' TrTmaBorta^S?. ' Sli ^.-UACte t r??spa_OTiiT^

Tbr Xllrraakrc Ran Boy -Mia Pa play, J ola em. i "Smr. do fna tbiok m little prmcticml I i Joke dorm moy hotg," maked the had hoy I j of Ybe rnieefY aao. m> he emme In elih \ bit Samdmy toil aa. mod m boaqaet in bit ! I ml lam holm, mad pried "fl m campM of ftpi ; from m oemr box thml hmd hrmn Jan open- . K ! "No. Mr." aid the grocery man. at be ; . licked off Ijie ayrup that dHnped from ■ I quart mrmrare. from which he bad been I ' filling a Jog. "I bold ibal a man I hat 1 gnu mad ml a prmcticml Jokr, that !a one ; tliat d iea not injure blm ii m fool, mod be | ouitbt lo be mbimoed by all decent people, i ' Thmt'a a mire honquet you bare in your | wnell of it." and Ibe grocery man bent I ; mrer in front of the boy to take a whiff at i the bouquet. At be did no a Bream of water abot out of bia ioooeeut looking . ■ (roquet mail at rock biro full in Ibe facr, and run down orer fail ahirt, and Ibe gro- ; eery man yelled msrder. and fell orer a . j bnrrel of axe bclrea and tcythe maths, . i and then rmped around for a towel to I wipe bis face. I "You coodum ikunk." amid the gtooery man In the boy. ar be look up an air bdre mod started for kltn. 'what kind of a gol-blaated squirt con you got I here. I will maul you by thomdar." and he roiled . up his shirt aleeree. •Tbare, keep your temper. 1 look a leet rote of you no Ibe anbjact of practical Jokes, before the machine began to i play upon Iba cncffafratino that Is rag- i I tic on your whisky noae. mod you (aid a ' man Ihat would get mad ml a Joke was a i fool, and now I know it Hrre. let me i show It lo you. There la a rubber boar una from the bouquet. Inside my coat lo i my pasta pocket, and liter* is > bulb of i rubber lhal holds about half a pint, and I when a feller smebaof the pnry. I aqoerae i the bulb, and you see the result. Ii'a fun I where you don't squirt tl on a person thai I gets mad.': The grocery man said be would gire , Ibe boy half a pound of flga if be Would ' ' lend the bouquet to blm for half an hour | lo play It oo a customer, and Ibe boy Bird i It no Ibe grocery man, and he lurued the I nozile ao It would squirt rleht hack loto i ibe grocery man's fsee. He tried it oo I the first customer that come In. and got t II right in bia own facr. and .then Ibe t bulb in his pants pocket got to leaking ■ and Ibe rest of the Water roo down the < grocery man's Uuoser'a lag. mod he gare t It np in disgust, and handed It back to I the boy. "How was It that your pa had < to he'rarrtrd home from the sociable In a ( back Ibe other night.'- asked the grocery a msn as he stood cUmt in ibe stow so his a perns' legkjwould dty, "He has out got to c drink log again, has he?" "O, no," aakl I the . boy. m he filled the hulb with wine t gar. lo practice on bia chum. "It aras Ibis I I roquet 'bat gW pa InU, ibe tmuhle. 1 You ace I got pa lo smell of ll, and 1 Josl r filled bimebnek (nil of water. 11- got t mad and called me all Elods of n antes. « and aald 1 was oo good on earth, and said i 1 would fetch un in stale's priwn. mod f ■ be gnelshlc. He said he would tiarc j more fon than you could shake a stick al. t and I asked him if be didn't think be <j would fetch up In the stale's priano, and 0 lie said ll was different with a man. He

said when a man played a Joke there was ^ a certain dignity about it that was iscking £ in a bov. Sol let blm have It, ao we £ all went lo the sociable lo the basement - of the church. I ne'er sac pa more kit- " tony than be wis that night. He filled . the bulb with ice water, sod the first ooe • ka got to smell of Ms buttou-bole banquet » . was an old maid wbo thinks pa is s beatbH en. bet she likes to be made something of "• by anybody thai wears pants, and wbeo ; pa sidled opto ber and began talking Z about what a great wtxh the christian wlmtnen of the lend were doing in edu- ._ rating the bcaibea, she lit teal good, and id hen she noticed pa's posy in bis button bole and ibe tnoebed It, sod tbeu reached «*• near ber baaa in amril of it .ft be sqweeacd the bulb, aad about ball, bw- | al cap fall of water struck ber right in ibe nd nosf, and some of il went loto ber strangle " place. Mtd 0. mi. didn't aba ysIL Ttw tl" riders gathered eroood her. and Ibey aald — , ber (ace wad all prcapbatioo, and the paint was coming off. and they look her w in ibe kHcbt n, and sl« told ibcm pa bad ^ Happed ber with a dlab of loe cream, and the wlmarn lold the minister, and the ra- dsarrws. and Ibey went to pa for an ex. SL plana! inn. aad pa tokl than it spa not so. aad the minister got hitemsted and got near pa. and pa let the water go at Wm. aad bit Wm oo Use eye, and tbeu a deacon 5t pxx-fit* Btfi-pk -Bngbed. a6rib5i_ibi " rainbtrr wbo used lo go in oollege and be m a baser, and box. be gw'tnsd and sqiarcd m off aad bh pa three times rigbl liy Ibe eye, end ooe of the decousbe kicked pa, and A pn gut mad and raid he could cl-tn ,«1 ■* the whoie abehug, and began P. pull off ^ Lis cost, wbeo they bundled bim out doors, and aa got nwd to fee pa abuacd, - and abe left the sociable, and I bad lostay and eat ice cream aad things fur the whole family, ft says that aeulea it with him. • He says Ibey ha rent got any more obtisI tian charity in that church than lbcsjps • in a tannery. His eyes was just grlTing "»er bring black from the sparring les. won, aad now bo has got to go through ins effster aad beef Aleak core again. He •ys il is all owing lo me " b "Wrih what has all this gat w do wilh F yuwr punlag op signs in (rout of my tear* "RittmEggs" and Trowty Bnttrr a wweiaki,' arid (be grncrry nut. he look ihetmy byttsecm aadpoled blm I around. "Y'ow hare gro sn uHwyou are , smart, and 1 want you to kqapaway from c bet*. Tbr ant time I catch you in » '^"jfF'gte.UMiJte'e yol-J » pulled. ■Swwgtt l" L Tb" <*f ftebed bisear ha<4 at tlx: » wdr.-f Mtiemt wbero it kntogrd. to ,k . » out t rtj«.-u* aad » It. ssMalterpumnr „ smoke in the face of the gr.**. r cat thai 1 rt -as sheping on -the corer to the mzu , . barrel, be said, "If 1 was aprurjsitmpL ' i « ^ ^|o^r« wad hte what ' Mi • iriiwbtore, wl» cheated in weights , aad mcunroawto toe** *4, MWj|

a figs and decayed codfish, wbo got bis hothie Cider from e eiuegsr factory, and bis sugar from a glucose factory, I would not r Insult tbr son of one of Ibe first families h Why. sir, 1 could go out oo the comer. , 1 sr. J when t Saw customers -rooting beib I , ' could tell a story that would turn their , ■ ttomaeha and send them lo the groo-ey on Ibe next earner, fieppase 1 should , 1- tell them tbtl the cat sls. pt in Ibe drinl , I apt ,le box. and rats run through the rah- ; ■ ink and that you or tor wash y.nir band,. ; ' except on Decoration day and Christ ma, , , 5 that you wipe your nose on your shirt. - tlecrea, and that you bare the itch. d > , • you Uiink your bosinesa would be im- | r prored • Suppose I should tell the custo- , r mrrs that you buy sour kraut of a wood- , I en sboe Polacker, wbo makes it out of | 1 pieces of cabbage thai be gets by gather- , ' !ng swill, aod you sell that stuff to set spectai, le people, could you pay yppr -, , mil? If I should led them that you pol t - loreuerrs in Ibe colled loo plate al church. , 1 ; and charge the minister forty cents a , . pound for oleomargarine, you would hate ; and now apologise for pulling my cmr." ( The grocery men tamed pale daring | ' 'he recital, and finally aald Ibe bad boy , ' waa ooe of Ibe beat little fellow, in this ( town, and Ibe boy went out aod bung up c 1 a sign iu front, "Girl 'wanted to cook.' ( Hsnk o 4 Rngland Wonder,. 1 A woey teHer. sriabiog to excite aalon- ' ) iahmenl by the elaggeratiou of bis stale- ^ i Irsnsscted sn Lice a boaiscw that in or- ^ i dor lo ecooomixe tbey ordered their clerks , • not lo cross their t's nor dot their i's, - which malted In the seeing of Ink alone C ' in one year of $5,000. Prepwtrrous as ' tliis stiwy seems, tt is almost equalled " I some of Vbe items ssbieb show tht: J - magnitule of some of the transactions ol i the Bank of England. In tbe courte ot f fire years that famous Institution liisfwid >' 77.7*3,00 notes, ail oeet £100, and ripne reaching, ot course, millio^_o!^piund« f I Tlx* uoutd OU IS. *00 boxes, which il placed ride by aide would occupy two 1 an-1 aoe-thlrd miles. If placed in a pile J these notes would be fire aod two tbirdt I Uilles high, aad if Joined end to end would 1 form a r.bbou 1S.M5 miles loug. At tlx: ' cod of esery flee years ibe nmes are £ thrown Into a famine and burned. Il it ; curious fact that so firm is tbe texture ^ of a Bank of England note that rren burnlng nan hardly destroy II Tbeauttmitics hare In e gtexod IrsraeYbe remnants of entXe which wis In Use great fire of GMgjriteasd though completely charred ■hrfijljPA. the paper still holds together and tbegMMSug i. stifflciently legible to ^ eslabiisb IU gaouineoest and warrant lit cashed. It It a point of bono: of Ibii great institution to cash ererj gen- ^ uinc note, no tnauct tow disfigured. ( long under water and frdncad sl; most to sn Indistinguishable pulp bare . duly butsond. Even lost notes are , aorm-timte paid, and in ooe case' £30. 000 ^ was paid orer to a gentleman wbo testithat be bad destroyed or untnlentlun- * ally mislaid a note for that amount. Many _ year*- after bit death the missing note . turned up, aod at it called for immme- n payment, the tu.uey waa banded (| orer and tbe bank lost tbe amoont.— From DnoorrrLa ifonUIa for A rrril le DmomU IfimlMlg/or April

It This claim L made for Stem Carpenter. l_ wbo liree in tbe -Tillage or Granrilk Cor6 nets, Waahlnglon County, N. Y. He ii w now a men orer eighty, aod a Dumber of it Ibe Society of Friends. He is still able 1 t. to outdistance all competitors in feats of ; ,1 physical strength, lie oooe lifted a bux tj filled with iron weighing 1.900 pounds ' g This was done by hoisting tbe bos wiib 1 m Ids bands, and was a leal equal to falsing 8.000 pounds in harness. Al another id lime be lifted s cannon which weighed 1 o 1,400 pounds, aod shouldered it. He has 1 d frequently raised s barrel of while lead 1 e With ease. To guess ibe weight of a huge 1 a. bog be would lift ll by the bristles with ■e tbe fingers of bis ooe baud, and many a ' k potter has be raked ID tht. way weighing 1 r orer 100 pouala Being a man of peace 1 d be rarely got Into troubk with other men. 1 e but uoc day be was Discfakrously tripped 1 T up by ooe of bis workmen. He caught ' d ILc man by tbe shoulder and by tbe scat 1 d of bis pantakros and burled him in Ibe J e air orer a teno-foot fence. Tbe man ' i. came down in a marsh a rod or more from 1 ,t the fence. Il la bettered there k no equal I A lo Mr. Carpenter now bring. He would ' , not be picked out In n crowd to be as of - 0 tunre than arerage strength. Great power ' e sreigbl. Torre La family named Hickey, 1 d in Mason County, III , wbo arerage 877 1 pounds The father weiglia *80 pounds c 1 Ibe mother. 38B, aad Ibe • ideal daughter 1 I 807. Warn nwwrigrs not contracted by * I people themaelm. .but entered into by •' ( the ad rice <4 scro'.UIc pbysicLos, It t I, would he jpntssLle to perpmuaic families e r thai would'be uuint (,w weight, muacuLr 1 t derelopmeat, fixe and peraunal beauty, " . arcunling as tbe physician might select. c y But lore is blind, and pays ou heed to d , heredity. I ! One of tbr roost eotertsining and qieful 0 ■ magarioea that has come to us recently L „ Dtmmttf MonWy Moffariv for April, p ' which does not contain a single article p thai cannot be read with profit and pleas- r ' ure. "Tbe Admiral's Wsrd" L continued, , . and among lbs shot storks are "ARo- , mane* in Purple," "An April Adren- » " Lire," "Jon Baxter. Ranchman," and a . The "Story of tbe Maelstrom." a trans!*- k ' (loo fnxn Ufa NorwegLn. Jennie June b I I gires another chapter of "How We l.lre ' i m New York," itiu Kate Sanborn in an Id amusing sketrfi, entitled "The Cooun- 1 i drum t a the Nineteenth Oentury. " Mrs. t! - ■ t Brine OwnfbrL" Thet with msny other " artxdes of laterret.and •• Current Topica," » ■ sSassaaffTa^sa : maaxiae urns bare yet bad. Special at- i - trotter, L gtrrn to the illm-trattona. and in :.3ssajnraaEg, , inf. and etching erf WalU' oriebraied pic- t ' ^ What of tbe MghtV'jt

t'lrtt service Kcform. 1 Tie ciril senior reform roles adopted of candi-latca for goreromeul posilions. ! peculiar, and tbey are wearing Ibe life ' uulpf the letter oareters of thw telly. Oo* < nl tbe eity papers published a list of qaeitloos that are to be propounded to appllc- ' 1 act A a few days ago. and ibe reading of 1 the queriioos bare -struck terror to the - of some of tbe letter carriers, j 1 s duxen of them were scale- 1 si a ; round table at tbe rooms of tbe Young J XI en's Benerolent Tuorfor-flre-ccnts Association. a few ereaing's since, entertain, un* of tbe Bun's angels unaware,. op. Ooe of tbe letter carriers who been on Ibe force for lea years, aad r.-rrr missed a Idler, mid: "Listen to this, boys: 'The ownership 'of a Teasel was diritled at follow*: A owned 3 81 B Las much as A. C * time, much B. D. 1-8 ai much as C, and E nil tbe rest. What was tbe share of each: Now, that is one of tbe questions we bare gut lo answer before we oau be sc.orpted as kuer arrierx. By jingo, I don't more about a Teasel titan a Hit, duo. I might take a slate ao-1 pencil and till Cheyenne froxe orer. and I couldn't tell bow much waa the thai* of would be for tbe owner* to pLy a game of sercn-op to see who had the whole craft. A school boy that is studying rulgar fraction, might figure il out sod best me out of my position, but what would know shorn tletirering letter* in tbe Norwegian language, with pale ink. You can't fool me on any letter that belong, in my district. I can find carry man, woman and cbitd. and when tbey more nut of the districx-I know where they go. and their tellers get there before tbey get the carims r down, but ibal dividing a schooner up into sixteenths L ahead of my time. 1 Well, if tbey put a eeaacl sharp into my place 1 can lake in washing. " ' "Here, hoys, Uke off your bats and close np together." said a letter car. rier, llie elbow of whose gray panU bad b -en torn out by a West Bide dog, as be you Ihls conundrum: 'A goldsmith melts together 12 onces of gold. 32 karats fine, 03 ounces 'of gold, 20 karats line, and 21 ounres.il karat, floe. He sold it at Ibe rate or fit per ounce of pure gold (2* karat. One). What was its floencas. and what waa tbe amount reoeired?" There's one - that will make you sick. Wtiat bat a tetter arrier got to do with melting gold and mixing it np. 1 don't beliere there's a ■ jeweler In Ibis town that could figure thai out. If tbe question was, 'If a letter carrier roceirn sixty dollars a month, half of it in green backs and half in bobtail < sdrer dollars, and pays three aaseasments ; gray uniform, and u sick a week and is I docked, bow much will ba hare left to boy i aad cod fish? I could figure it down 1 ,Lte and pencil. But this fourteen k»r- I al and twenty-two karat gold business i melted up In atto tipper, knocks the Buff- I out of me, and wbeo the ciril service i reform asks me to wback up on that riddle i can hire a jewelry auctioneer to take 1 my place and get out of door yards ahead i of dors, and 1 will nasi him on where the 1 on

: folks in my district lire, and 1 will get a t job mauling mclea on a Street car. You j bear roe:" i "(I, you fellows haven 1 got sny beads ■ | for ra»i hems lb ica." said a Utile fellow , [ with bis tetter sack thrown over hi, ■ : shoulder. "Those two questions you bare I j read are etey enongb, but let your Intel- t . tea take a side-bold sriib tb'ta Muldoon i that 1 am going to read to yau: "What i , L the value of 800 slueta of copper < , weighing 80 ounces avoirdupois per square ! foot, measuring 48 inches long by 13 • I inches wide, and worth 0150 dollars per t i of 8,9*0 pounds?* Kb! How is that ' (or s tetter carrier to carry In hit sack? la . there s Junk dealer present that can t , wheel hit baud cart with cow beUs on, in- t k this august aasrmbLge, and pick tbe r , meats out of thai? By tbe great bald- ' I Elijah, wbeo iFgrU so an honored • and respected employe of this gorermnent ' I got to figure bit brain sway on old ' boilers, nod sheet line, tod lose t place because be has never bought old ■ , that lets me out, and I will go and teU tbe postmaster be can gel another rag • msn In my place, and I will apply for the e position of bo-chambermaid in a Urerv arable." 1 "Yon boy* are unnsnesasrily alarmed." c said a tall, soldierly letter carrier wbo is f trict, for his gentlemanly behavior and tt- t lestinu to business al all seasons. 'Yon P hire tome school boy to figure out U Ibnse qusstiooa and write tbe answers a down for yon. But here's wbatxtlekt me: tl .'A and B. form a co-partnership. A's original capital waste BaSte to 7. A with1 of Ms- capitalftnd B } of Ma * profits were 83. 030. How should " he divided oo tbe baste of tbe reduced " capital? I tackled Uncle John Smith, down on East Water street, and be said U tbe way to get at It would be to -borrow of Ibe Republican committee and dlrlde it Into equal parts and play freeze out pokor until all were out bat ooe and let him sktp out. Tbe idea that a letter carrier should know anything about partnership or puker. beats me. Now, I tell yoe out new applicants for office. If wt * ksep right doing our business satisfactoriaud deltTer Liter* often sod quiet ufter the mail gets In, we WW hoH right ° along, and we will new be sakr.1 ooe of lOAissifstiillkd qaeartohk. Now let's go so sa to he oo deck to tbe morning. " The ^ boys said they guessed that was about the b sit* of It. and they look sp their sacks ' sod went ta work wttb thsir heads f nil of u I AxswebTxis. — latere a person living i;

i . ./ —-^F Iturjlnx trie Bub*-. d 1 ' remrmber that tbe farxtway rrp-v.i - n I of rifles routed us from steep io the gray , | of dawn, aad as we Braid on oar feet and [t. 1 listened more intently we oonld now and „ . then ratefa lbs aehosa of to infernal s»ar- ^ whoop. .. There were ^wenty of us, miners all, ! ,f and we were in the foothills of tbe Rock. ' t It*, terf more I Iran Imlf a mile from the , j great Overland trail. e i tack aod a butchery," whispered -mr leady it, as we listened ; and without another (. j word sre picked up our traps and headed - ^ j for tbe spot at a half ran. i T wo immigrant families, farmers frurn 0 Indiana, who bad started for tbe Lnd of 1 gold and bad separated from tbe train from whim or accident , had encamped in , a bit of green valley beside ibe trail. 1 There were thirteen souls of them, and , one might wonder if tbe bravest among , £ them did not shudder with fear as tbe ■ nigbt crept down and Ibe howl of tbe : r qolf came from the rocky bills. Tbe men bad seen their danger, nnd i t bulb hnd set out to art as sentinels i i. through tbe loog night. Hour after hour t 1 had passed awsy yRfcout art alarm, and J just as dawn woe breaking tbe merciless i ; savage, creeping along* like snakes, hsd I , found one of the sentinel, ailoep. A thru, c from a knife finished him ao quickly that c be did not even throw up bis arena Per- . baps be uttered a single Cry ot groan and , I slamx-d tbe other, for the second one was i j shot while running toward Ibe wagons. P Then, with both men dad, came the , rush upon the won,™ and children. Only . u fim-te could do such work as was door , u there, and when we atnt to look it il the i C strongest men in the party grew white - and faint. Krerj brad but one was scal- . prd, and no doubt the scalps bad been x taken while the victims lived. Tbe bodies - * ere backed and gaahed, bands and arms i f severed, brains beaten out, children flung t into tbe camp-fire, and the spectacle was i 1 one to live in memory when all else had . baa forgot too. t ] Die fladr bad floLbcd their work of 1 : butchery before we were near enough lo i open fire, and it was poor consolation to s mve tbe wagons. While all tbe bodies i , were yet warm life had departed from | i each and every one. We were mllcetinf c them in a heap, to nuke ready for burial, when a audden wail aiartlwl aycrybody. t L "Ow-ow-ow-ow came tbe found, and ! acb man looked in Utc air above and on . the ground below. I 'That 'ere noise puroeedt from a baby, t or I'm not Ibe father of thirteen children t back In Ohio:" exclaimed Jackaoa, aa ke r made tor tbe nearest wagon. , r He was right; down b aside the chest, , 1 almost smothered under bed -quills wsa s I yraf-old boy baby. But alas when he «u handed out we found that be bad t been family wounded by a bullet. Jack- • son sat down on the gran, and chirped to him and rocked bin, to and fro, while tbr : i rest of us looked on in wonder and doubt : : ■ in a quarter of an boar tbe baby was . t dead. It had gone to sleep tbr night tie. . fore in his mother's arms, a battered old i rattle box dumbed fast io bis tioy band : and l>e never let go of it. There it was in - band aa death stiffened bis fingers I around it. "Well, there was a general breaking . down when we saw Ural the little one »a> i going. He threw up his hands, gasped once or twioe, and then settled back with I i such a smile on hit face aa babies wear when their dreamt are sweet. Old Jacki was crying like a child, and some of : tbe men bid from each other behind tbe | wagons. It was a long time before tbe old man arose, Lid the little body down | the prairie flowers, and huskily whispered : | "We'll bury bUn by bistelf. One trf than bodira out there was bia mother, , aa we can't tell which from which, we'll make oo mistake." , There was one Urge grave for tbe mutilated remains, and when tbe earth bad , pressed down above tbem and rocks rolled down lo prevent tbe work of tbe , wolves we went to tbe centre of the dell, j and there under a lone pine, we hollowed out a rutting place for baby. When all t ready Jackson took the body up In arms, dropped his bat on the grass 0 and looked around and mid: r "Hats off. men! We sre nearer aeein' angels thte morain' than any of.ua will p ever come again 1" Slowly, tenderly, grieving!}- tbe little was Lid away, and It aras Jackson's 0 ooat that came off bis bock to cover ll bethe earth was filled In. Every single _ matt In our band tor* the shovel by turns « to fill in and round up tbe grave ahd protect it, aad before we went esrsy „ was a bead-board to mark the spot. m aod oo tbe board a knife bad engraved tbe single word : "BABY:" -( He bad just crane through from Idaho, k and a suck haver aad grain merchant who- *, happenrij to hear him my n, tamed nnd mid: "IDs tbr winter beet iliarfl one out ^ there?" "WuUip 5ll years." * "Bad oft railroads?" "I should remark!" "How about winter wheat?" "Froxen up solid." "You don't say! And lire stock?" "Froxen as stiff as a crowbar." 71 "And the settler*?" * "Is that porrible! Why, lbs rent seen any such accounts in tbe newspapers. You my everything is froxen up, cb!"' "Well, 1 don't my everything, of course. Coming through Dakota I did ace two or three iiving men, but it was nip and luck with tbeqi. One of tbem had set n 015,000 aasSmilloo fire to arena by, and the other two were roiling a m barrel of froaeo whisky np and down „ half a mile loug. and paying the own- , er two dollars a day lor Ibe privilege. I tell ye aliaatttr. a tnUteu red hot fiat-iroo* w wouldn't thaw oat tbe froxen ear* In my x. Stele alone, saying nothing of beebt and , teas!— Wall Street Jfmos. « ts JYx- dressing tbe hair, aad beautifying ir It tlben gray, nothing L so aa!|«fsctury as a Ptrla't Hah- Balsam /

f " ... What Did the apostle I'aut Ms. | CVtelaa at W«i! V~ I - Tbe other evening Rev. Mr. lYtilleeer : r mt down at tbe table with t very tboogbiI ful air. and attended to tbe- wants of tbe d 1 brood in p very abstracted manner. Pre*- j " - enrty b^ knkrd st.btx wlf*, End MM: I "The Apostle Paul—" "Got an awful lump oo the 'saleroom,. ' t - brokr in the paster's eldest son. "pLytog t t ham ball. Bat flew out of striker1! hands I 1 wbeo 1 was umpire, and cracked me right i - Golly!- And tbe Ld abook bis bead in 1 : dismal, hut expressive pantonine, is tie I I tenderly rubbed s lump that looked like s I billiard bail with hair on it. I The pastor gravely paused for tbe in- ' terroption, and resumed: i "Tbe Apostle Paul"— "Saw Mr*. I)asb down at Urernbaumte this afternoon," mid hL eldest daughter, I addressiug her mother. "She bad on tbe 1 : same old everlasting Wsek silk made orer I ' with s vest of green silk, coat-tail basque I ' pattern, over-skirt made with dingoes! ■ folds in front, edged with deep fringe; ' 1 dark felt hat. with block velvet facing • 1 and pale bine flosrerl She's going to t Chicago." I Tbe good minister waited patiently, and t I then in tones wbicb waa just a ahade < louder than before, be returned: ' • The Apostle Paul"— ' "Went In swimmln' list nigbl with J Henry and Ben, and stepped oo s dam « shell," exclaimed his younger son; "and • cut my foot so I can't wear my thoe; nnd i please, may I stay at borne to-morrow?" The pastor informed bL son that be ■ could star away from the river, and again ■ rssayed bit subject of e-io venation. He I - mid: • "The A pottle Paul sajg"— t "Mr teacber-L an awful stoey telter, " i shouted tbe sccood ton; "be myt tbe 1 worid L as round as an orange, nod turns ' around all the time faster than a circus t can ride. I guess he hasn't got I i much sense." I "Tbe mother lifted a warning finger ! toward tbe boy, and mid, "Sh!" and tbe ' father resumed: ' "The Apostle Paul mys"— 1 "Don't bile off twice aa much as you chew," broke out the eideat ton, re- I proving the ssmult of bit Httle sister oo t 1 The pastor's face showed Just a trifle of r annoyine* as he said in a very firm and f decided tone: ■ "The Apostle Paul mys"-- I -'There*! a fly lo (be butter," cried the 1 youngest hopeful of tbe family, and a ■ general Logh followed. 1 When silence bad been restored tbe 1 eldest dangber, wttb an air of curiosity, j "Well, pa, I really would like to know ' what tbe Apostle Paul said." I "Pass tbe mustard mid tbe pester lyAnd tbeu tbe quoslioo L: What did the Apostle really my that Rev. Mr. PbiL > could bare ao curiously construed? Or is It the new version? ' i

Try popcorn for nausea. Try cranberry for malaria. Try a ton bath for rheumatism. Try ginger ale fur stomach cramps. Try dam broth for a weai stomach. Try cranberry poultice for erysipelas. Try gargling lager beer for cure of sore throat. Try swallowing saliva srben troubled with a sour ttomach. Try eating onions rat horseradish to relieve dropsical swellings. Try buttermilk fix- the removal of fro*, lcs. tan and butternut ctaina. Try tbe croup-tippet when a child ia to be troubled iu that way Try hot flannel orer the teat of neuralgic pain aod renew frequently. Try Uking oodllver oil in tomato catif yoo want to make tl palitable. Try aoafflog powdered borax up tbe nottrite for catarrhal "cold In the bead. " Try taking a nap In tbe aflera ooe if you are going lo be out late in the evening. Try bard dder— a wine-glass full three timet a day— for ague and rheumatism. Try breathing the fnmea of turpentine carbolic add lo relieve wbooplngTry a cloth wrong out from oold water put about tbe neck at night for adre Try sn extra pair of stockings outside offsbocs when traveling in cold weather. Try walking with your bauds behind you If you find yourself becoming bent foe. Try t silk handkerchief orer tbe face when Obliged lo go agalnrt a cold, piercing wind. Try jrfsntlng sunflowere in your garden if compelled to fire in a malarial neighbors hood. WS. "Given aotut." A not very old Harvard alumnus live* not very far from Brighton, iDd Is tbe father of a bright aad very promising daughter now rising three yean of age. A few evening* since he had at a guest al tea a college chum. At the tea table oc- . cored the following 'colloquy between the little mint and be* father's friend: Tbe little ooe— Hr. W , I wish you'd drink soroe of the water la yuur gobbteL j , Tbe guese— Why, my dear, ! sekl jm drink when I'm eating. Liltte one— But I want to ace-yoa drink. i Guest— Why, my deal.' • , Little udo— t'anae papa mys you drink like a fish. A New Y'ork correspondent mya: "Tbe 1 most unhappy people in New Y'ork are men wbo bsre Just about a million ' doilsre. We don't pity 'em because it would be w> easy for a millionaire to rebia fortune to fifty thnnsand dollars, and be happy. We always auppoaed, that the mett unhappy people ] that dty were the men wbo bad jott , about ten cents and oo crediL— Sort ! HtroU.

. I HOOT Tlse> «JS> the Mjtno In •1 wa« Luting around Ibe streets last . I night." sud Jim Nelson, one of Ibe oldett . ; < ir leans, ucd as I hsd nothing Io do 1 into a extern and heard a rikk. teaklng Frenchman pLy a piano in aaray • us he sa! down on tlte stisil 1 knew I by the way !.•• lundksJ himself llui be . nnderat'ssl tlx- machine he wu« running. - He Upprsl Ibe keys away up .por end, tt if Ibey were gauges and be wanted tec if 1m had «ti-r enough. Then be up at if be wanted to know how much steam be was carrying, and the moment be putted open the throttle aod sailed out on the main line at if be 'was hall sn hour late. "Y'ou coulil bear ber thunder orer culverts and bridges, and getting faster and faster, until tbe fellow rocked about in thought It ns old -88 pulling a paaaeoteste and getting out of -ibe way of * The fellow worked tbakrya oo tbe middle dl virion like lightning, and then be flew along the north cod of the and 1 got excited. Abaci the time I was fixing to tell biiu to cat ber off a lillie, be kicked tbe dampen under tbe machine wide open, pulled the tbrottel back in tbe tender, and Jeromkm, ! bow be did run. 1 couldn't •'and it any longer, aad yelled to blm that , abe was 'thumping' ou the left Bide, and If be wazot careful he'd tone his ash pan. "Bat be didn't bear. No ooe baud Everything was flying and whirring. Telegraph poiea oo the side of the track like a row of eyli' and trees appeared to br a mad'muk, and all tbe lime tbe exhaust of tbe old machire •oend si like tlx: bum of a bumble bee. tried to yell out, but my toogoe wouldn't He went around curvca Ukc<L slipped an ococotric, blew out bis •oft plug, went down grades fifty feet lo tbe mile, and not a confounded brake set. went by l^e meeting point at a mile and a half a minute, and calling for more steam. My hair ttood qp like a cat's tail I knew the game was up, "Sure enough, dead ahead ot us was the headlight of tbe 'apeeLI.' In a daw heard tbe crash as tbey at ruck, and 1 saw care shivering into atoms, people mashed and mangled and bleeding and gasping water. 1 beard another crash as the French professor struck tlx: deep stray down on (lie lower end of tbe southern division, and tbrn I came to my There be was at a dead standstill, with the door of the fire-box of tbe machine open, wiping the preapiratloo off face, and bowing at the people before him. If I lire to br a thousand yenra old never forget tbe ride that Frenchman gave me on a piano. '—Timts Democral. To-Day ssrsri To-Xforrow. Aubor mil designs of defrauding to-day your lawful creditor* of to-morrow. Be watchful te-dsy and careful to-UKir-

Commou mercies to-day are no proof of special favor to-morrow. Dare not venture in to-day what you Earnestly know Ibe wortt to-day to understand your tool's danger to-morrow. Friends will fail you to-day, enemies will bate you te-morrow. se God's voice to you, oh ! man ia health, L to-day, but tbe devil's voice to you is sd to-moreow. lie wbo L unprepared to-day will lie If your bouse were ou Ure to-day would fc- you quench it to-morrow? Justly meditate 16-day — nol perish for want of thinking te-morrow. Keep abort reckon tegs to-day with lest 1- te-morrow. Live a sweet life today with a bleated it- hope to-morrow. Meditating much to-day lobe comforts - le ble to-morrow. . Near tbe grave lo day nearer eternity n- Our hopes of today may die Uwiuor>e Preserve and clear your accounts of today and witch s gainst those sins of loie morrow. I- Quickly look fur help today Ibal you rosy tec your friends te-morrow. tr Remember the devil tempts today, * your deity of to-morrow. Gel apart enro-' rime te-dsy for ueefule oets to-morrow. Traveling to ds* and retting teouorL I — Van ovsxy ixwulioe-loi today late fully prepared to-morrow. r Vainly ncgleol the doty of te-dsy may g prove very injurious to-morrow. Worldly companions to-day are great a hinrieranrrs of spkiumi company n Mr Experiooq* of loday may be Ibe bler- , rings of to-morrow. You csnnut' carry tbe things of Ibis > world todsy and what of to-morrow. e Zealously lire for God to-day that ycu 1 may walk with trim to-morrow. Last summer two Austin ladies met at the railroad depot. 'One of tbem waa very I thin while lb* otbcT was eicoesftngly fat. f "Where are you gulag?" asked Ibe thin > "To Eureka -springs. ' "What fort" I "Dr. Bradly Usrocs advised mo to go there to gel thin. J un too fit. Where are you going?" "I am going lo Eureka bprioga." "What for?" " v there to gel fat. 1 em too tbiu." When Ultra- relumed to Austin tbe fat | one was fetter than ever and the this one ( waa twice u thin as wbeo abe started. An Old XEabhs teellel. Here used Pastor's Gtapr Toole fur . u.v b-1 rough and beoorvege I bed tweo- ' ty-five years. I foci like another man 1 doer I used tl. Am 66 years put. Be- . It sure in cere younger penont. A. Orocr, Higbspire. Pi