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Y0UjBE .. CAPE MAY CITY. NEW JEBSEY. SATURDAY. JUNE. 9.1883. " WHOLE NUMBER. 1508.

OA-*»JE MAY CITY. 20. J. S 1 .50 a yar In Advance. VnCfMbnl (Suit. J b huffman, miLlorrniiSj awi-IER * wr***« KOI-RT'oommiiwioksh. ROTARY ruBLUX XST OOTBT Boess. R. J. r. qduglass" attobney-at-la w SOLICITOR IK OB AKCRK Y " ' '«■«« CITY, y^ai.teil a. barrows, attorney-ati. aw •hj'tou in ciiancrhy. Mam n«u.r, ». j,. t)8. j. f. le amino a son, dbntTsts, and (swan JAMES M. E.HILDBBTH, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW ■ORKTTOR. M»*TKR A*n EXAMINKK IS jjerbebt w. edmunds. attorney-at-law, SOLICITOR ABB MASTER IK CHANCERY. , IMP* May Oily. S.J. ,n., ' Al Cafe CSart BOW. TliWtj. ul grids J* ■ T~ja JAMES H. INGRAM, 1 U 1 physician and surgeon, | tiREEN CREEK, S. I. j A ran ssprU «■» rreoa Ann nmaiaatiy on u»r V •*-} '

fjexry m. boyd, attorn?? -at-la w conveyancer, TRI'irr n-SDS^LM-ATK^ON HARD TOR So. a Knrth Il» Hi mm, raitaOeliiaia. Susinrss (tarts . 0nos r. wn.i.iamk, " architect and builder. RIM. WARS PRAWIWOR. ASn"gtTRRlS |P (En OR CONTRACT. ' rril'K •! VTuklKCIoo HI., capo May. KJ. b. little, p ainter anV'gi.azieh, "^15 SAY* iKT. KHL H°°*" W" "ay •» leti si t JoHowBi-. alore qrgans and sewing mab. f. horner, P1AH0S.08GA1IS*™GIA(MES Rearo* M 'MW PL, I»p- Ms/in J aprt-J q. to garrison's STATOMERY. AMD STORE VARETT r-IR QOLD ran. RLAKK BOOR*. TOILET onoiw. r.MiiNu tace'le. CHEAP LIBRARIES. RIKIATt'RK BOAT* MASCPACTCKKB OK THE r REMISE*. *EWIKO MA-Brara^NERnLR* A SB OIL A :» W\*HlM({TOttRTRRET,CATR MAT. S. J. q<»dyrir*^bbep.fei.t "d. p. ojeter7ch! " New Ytsk Belting .ml I "taking Graiipanv CHCTSIT HTRRET. j a matlack, TEHBACOffiDSlIll ffli SEISE RPE ^CEIRRKT TOPB, WISBOI-ABBi APH w O.M U-~< IJ^urnd mm Pipe. re. r "■ K. hand A son! ' ' OSLT PRACTICAL JKWELKR, CAPE MAY DIAMOND CUTTERS *»- II WAMtlRtiTON PTE ETT. 0 l. rick, jilt architect and supervisor . 400 walnut street, rt.»S» ABB it-Warn- ATtOSB CARET! YA Y 1 john M. russell, DRT GOODS. GROCERIES, FLOKH AND rEKD. PURE. LARD. MAMS, HEEDS, Ac.

l 1 Irir aflcfrtisoamw. * STEEI.M AN'S '] COLUMN. DRY GOODS. j Stock increased, and prices reduced We arc selling Muslins at the following prices: Pocassct, - 9 cts; W^msutta, t'a 1-2 cts; Duval, to cts; Utica,4-4. to cts; 3-4. 16 cts.: to-4 35 cts.; Good "4-4 Bleached, 9 cts.; Fruit of the I.oom, 10 cts. We are selling Black Silk at 90 cents beats any Dollar Silk in Mfllvillc, Wc have better grades selling at J 1.- . 15, $1,40, $1.65, S2.o0.and $2.50. Wc have reduced some 'Dress Goods 38 per cent, simply because the colors are not the Latest t Styles. They are very good and very cheap. IN MILLINERY wc as usual lead, having secured the services of a first-class Mil- ' liner, formerly in one of the leading Chestnut Street Establishments. We are Satisfied wc can suit all. and our prices will be as usual telow.all others, as our ; of buying in large lots ' and for cash gives us the very bottom prices in the market. J11 ! Fancy Goods, in Satins, in Hamburgs, in White Goods and in 1 fact everything in this line will be found complete and the prices ' right. Nearly forget to mention 1 mention to- the ladies that wc ' have 2C nieces Nainsook-I selling . have

at 1 1 cts. price elsewhere in Millville 16 cts. t, IH CLOTHING DIPAHTMINT _ we have made improvements and j alterations* in order to meet the! demands. Arc .now making a | r specialty in Fine Clothing forj j Men and Boys. This is a new j departure in the business in Mill- 1 vllle; but our people dcmamSit,) j. and they must be accommodated, j also keep in stock complete line I of medium and lower grades. , Good suits for Men $4.50;! l" Youths; >3.50; Boys, $1.50. Here! is ■ chance for everybody; 1000 1 pairs good, strong, working pants I 2 selling at $1. Wc make a spec- i ial effort to suit all in the very j -j latest styles of Hats, Caps and : •Gent's Furnishing Goods, we arc ■ , in fart, headquarters for these , goods. THI SHOE DIPABTMENT. * having been considerably cn- * Urged, is considered by-all to be l the finest South of Camden, and P- our Stock complete. The largest stock in the county, and to be sold below all others, the great j Discount announced by -other ■ dealers to the contrary nptwftlw I standing. Ladies and Gents j cannot fail to be suited. The | business in this department having so increased that we feel , guaranteed in carrying an' im- • 4 mensc line of goods. Children | and infant's shoes of every description. In all our depart1 mcnts we have the largest Stocks. : the I .owes t Prices and polite atI tendants. - Bmtol Mihie DepartKt: | W. 8COTT CALKINS. Manager, j A FULL & COMPLETE STOCK. 1 !. i Pastai.oosisgs — A Specialty. j Coatisoa— The Best in the Mar- ' I ket' 1 r | Suitings — no end to them. | Styles — The very Idlest. - 1 Workmanship — None can excel j ; Pmjce — Governed by your orders, j « | F it You— Ask your Conscience. I ' Better Yet — Give us a trial ■I A- 1 STEELMAN, ; aia 14 5 J6HirhSirc^ 1 MILLVILLE, N. J. j

* DABBYS PROPHYLACTIC FLUID. I Eradicates | Ni. MraalM. And S buickVoiO t' h"«d ' TL( V*,*.1; :, c^e. UthttoO**, priJ 10

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"JHSsS?5SiS i' !i !* f^irn"D*jird ** 1 - v-T«*T.sx:. ! lS' oil r . • 1 TO EVEEY UOEE. j M-mtoamii "* MuSibcLPHIA. *

SickHkdachf T ~ POSITIVELY CURED B1 V J IfiRTERSi jcjBjTHre UTTLE** IJYEB PUIS ^ DWOan, fttllrro ! iLUtmiAiAdcdE. naoMpmenraoiAAa d a^T^EDtaNEfcCO.'T TDT YORK. - HEALTH IS WEALTH! ' ->->•— a**EtSHEB & MENDCLSON, 1 BO »*Q* Btrddl. PMI»g«lpM«. B*. || Iwrfliitfl -jjiEW. " 0ELAWARE HOUSELir,Trrrt Itiiit, Cm Mir Cm. S.J. ! " ' W.ESCSSLLESaKR,mpnrt<!r. ' ,,rTRKM*. rsOM i: TO SII A WEEK. Jlfc ' J -^JILLER OOTMBHt, ■ NO. 4 PERRY STREET. | TEA SSI EN*- AND l-KUMAKKNT (itKSTS I " : ' ! DOOCKATK KATES. •f- . Mis T. E BROOKS. I <E«l, *F0ofi, fPimr, rtr. I lr«4L AND WOOD. ~ ' I ^ . j Bw^»3S»iBSuMv15Sr«S2S i i ; A OOAL AND WOOD YARD | j LRHIGH M,u. RTOYR ARB CBRBTSI T !WMri>«<«iqil,d | j HBR, OAK AM) HICKORY WOOD. j , 1 •"-»«. AARUSeCBEUASOKK !

" First Sergeant, Company B." . Tbe mrwoirrfi bad let! whb my teuer j descriptive of Uie day'* doing! al rbe I Wen Poiol Academy, aad dinner bring : tmxaicatnf^be hotel which bad been act ; •part for tbe ute of the Board of YUilorv , It wuiB the man lb of Jan., 1SK8. Grant I ; was then Geaeral of tbe Army, and peo- ' tie were already beginning to talk about , Im as tbe next President He had come j - jto.lbe Academy on a risit, and a Trry ' ; plcasaOl one U must bare been for him ; ; 1 f * |I so bappeneil that General Pitcher. , 1 the t'-nnmanderot the Post, and Professor ■ Uowie, ot Pennsylvania, had been cadets I J at the Academy with Grant, and General j r W. B. Franklin and Professor Peck, of 1 « Columbia College, members of tbe Board. | bad n<A only been cadets in Grant's Ume. but bad been with Grant members of l be 1 Tbe Board of Visitors were holding an informal *we when I entered tbe room. • Grant, in undrraa uniform, was seated at ; the round table wiUi the others, enjoying i bis cigar, and listening to General Frank1 lin telling of bis escape from I be rebel* i ' shortly afier bis captures! Magnolia, Mil., , . by a band of gncrillas. The gentlemen were all in a talkative nioo.1, and all Uinae I wbo had graduated si Ibc •» Point," Gen. I Grant excepted, bad sonic story to tell lOgHber. "Grant miilnTgrini jy vrb«MUe rent laugbed. as something " particularly" | good was recalled of ibc escapades of tbe , cadets in biaaimes : but 1 remember well bow be laid down liis cigar antflabghed outright, loudly and heartily, when uue of I be gentlemen present recited some of ■ his bluer experiences as a "plcbe. 'and made him sutler tbr most w as Winfield S. Hancock, Pennsylvania. not -luring In- cadet doej^TVgrim ] soldi, r sliook Ins liead, Jnitfrti vigruously at bis cigar, ant! said he couldn't recall i ( i anvil, ing that was worth tbe telling. But i , j General Franklin was determined to draw | j "Weren't you an officer of cadets in j ! j your time. Grant? " Franklin 'queried. j , G't 'ne sec." mid Grant, looking up . j al the ceiling. Ins eves follow'ing tlie iltrec. J lion of lb.- smoke that curle-l up from ids . agar. " Well, yes; I was." " Wan t there somethioc peculiar : about your being made an officer f" perJ sisted Fianklin. ' j ■j Grant Idoked at F'ranklin in a purried | lbs hour being late; but Franklin would I ! not take no for an answer. After much j , pressing, the Genera] of the Army settled j , himself down in bis anncbalr and told his - little Wory. and anybody who imagines j J gained afier he became President, that he j . can't talk, should have beard him tell tins i cadet incident of bis career. " I lemereber very well," said he. "just . . as thougb it was yesterday that it all look I , place. When tbe drums beat for evening When beat :

parade, I came mighty Dear being left In ; N breaking. Well, tbe balalhon was uii ; drawn up in line, and tbe adjutant — say, j Franklin said be couldn't remember ; out seeing that Grant was going to conic to a full atop then and there, urgedhlm to goon. •' He was a very guod adjutant, any- ■ bow," continued Grant, " be had a splcnF did voice, and be could roll bis r's so that you could imagine they went -from Hie right to the left of tbe line, and from the left to the right again. I took particular , notice of this because be had occasion orders." The old classmates looked a' a- cot another in a knowing sort of way and a smiled, and Grant himself grinned hroad- ? ly. and then wet* on : " The adjutant • that evening had several orders to read, ? and somehow I paid more attention, heir cause tbe fallow to my rigbt was fidgety, j and kept aaytng tinder his breath that the I shoemaker dowp. at tbe commissary's a would hear from, him before nightfall, -a Well, the adjutant read his orders, and * among other things this kind n' stunned •» "Oedel Grant promoted . first sergeant - Tbe General took a strong pull al his cigar and again rose to go ; but Franklin raawkljig that tbe story wsan'l ended, be I "I tell you what it is," said Gen. Grant, t continuing, "after parade I went right 1 down to the oommiaasry store and saw I the tailor. _lt was after hours 1 knew,J. but J got him, and he pat my gold lace I. ahevn-ns on in no time. I must say I thought something out of the usual bad happened to me." " Proud, you mean," inlerrupted Mr. Franklin. I " Well. I felt good," Grant continued ; ■ " next evening I was ready for parad-- ' very early. No breken Mioe-string in ibe ; way this time. 1 took my place as • First ; Sergeant. Company B.' for I suspected , some of my lady friends were gating up- : on me admiringly, and I braced up like a major. Tbe adjutant read bis ortlcra : amoug other lhir*s be rolled out was thi«: . J " ' First Sergeant Grant. Company B, ■ reduced to tbe ranks.' " Tbe roar of laughter that went up at thiSgfrom Ibe old classmates of tbe General ' of the Army, moat have startled even tbe , fne*u upstairs in tbe dining room, where j a "bop" was going on Finally General Pitcher managed to . eootrol himself sufficiently to ssy : " You I , Grentl -hOM PU<* km*' dl(? J""-; The General -was the only mart In tbe ' room who was one laughing. He quietly , I puled away al his cigar, and as be ruse , I to go be grimly^ remarked, as though »■ S^At lAeg made a mutate - wAew Item made me Bergeant. " How Httia did tbe young cadet thiak '• wbeo he bard ibc adjutant tiul Summer - day- called out " First Sergeant Grant. Company B. reduced to tbe ranks," that ' be would eoe day be at the head of ibc ' armies of the t oiled Stairs, and In com. mand of over 1.000,000 meo.- IF. J. C. • Jteifkn* U IKe lieeammek. Th« Milk in the Cocoanut. I In ooe of the "dry" towns on the Ma- ! ' ™ 1 hit upon an ingenious phut of funiisliing , the people with wh.sk j. He bought a J kit of, coooannu. aod. after emptying the mOk filled Una up wlu. the coveted liquor, forming -Tr't-'-g of a ■ coehanut toddy. The other day tbe min - i - istar of lbs town went -in tbe store and | *anted to buy a cocoanut. The mer- I (Most was in despair, but managed to sell i - the geait of the cloth that the rata were , cnaouod. Tbe minister sresnrd anxious ( ato procure coe, and told the merchant that if r bad milk in Iheu. they were alt rich-. . r Tllih?tmgTTi?' e7"".',crd U ,b^ 1 oorhhut more, and soid Urn cme. hoping that he wnukt get out the scrape in scene . •*y. Is about half an bmiratyi the min- , Hi -he re-reiram vareWro a note , tren hint saying; "Send me six more \ 1 Sgg", — "-! A Lawyer's TaMWruony. j ' row- J. JreaS— ra. I aey.E. T. Cltr. I

T Blsgraph Operators. While a IlrraU reporter sras silting Ik-- ' ; hind tbe raffing of a Urge telegraph office ™ I yreterAy listening to tlM- raraclcf* cUttcC * ! of tbr instruments be ventured to ask .i * i youthful manipular ot lightning If he had « j been long on tire line. The youth then j , j ■"sesteasr: i 1 "Must know all tbe boya on tlie iine j", >; " Yea know etu over the wire, if I j | " dont any ocber way. Lot, of cm I ncrer ' : saw, but when they take hold of the key i y and begin to call I knorj wbo they are. ' ; There is n* more interesting feature of ' t '■ 1 tbe telegraphic service than the abilitv t , * acquired through pradioe, to distinguish , , between tbe different operators on a line t J hy tbe manner df ih- jr rending. A corp. t |! m ^penttore. rach familiar with his fc!. ' i • | low's method of sending, would scarcely ( -• need to waste time to affix their office t signature to their calls, tlie office wrahted t . being able to judge wliat operator was , - ^t^beeoim' m«c thmmr'T'l'"""' '"t |bCl * ; and conversant wit!, th/ti^tT^ir their , ! - wire 'than those at tire tu-sd of the gri-at : - m"« "kO direction front the city.'nTlic t • | manners ot^ sending their different rucn t • opening,* a fltshily-drciscd "suh" Is m * hitii ud fir of dignity Hist would have | s j become a bank cicrk. A moment later i v some office on tire line began calling the | t oiaui office, rerxating the call a doxen ! v : times without signing. ] -j " Answer f-w there," said the operator ; to his assistant. o 1 ^ " But he hasn't signed yit," Ycolured j k " Yea, but'l know hhn," exclaimed tbe L operator, and^ggl then tbe office calling fll coded up with • terse " f-w." ) '' But nan ypu toll all the ojreratots on I it By their method of rnakiug a'w j there are vrrjMrw mes on my ware that 1 t[ Swords. Jmt as -w loams nool her s i ci penmsnshlp we learn each .Kh.v's ruanut ■ ' -1 of sending. Wc have to get accustomed ' p' tore start off with a hop-skip-ru-.d-juiup li gait and keep it up all the way through a a< message of 100 words Another will tt send slowly and steadily, and, should be ar 5,000 words to transmit, he will not | who will rush in a message of six or eight w - words, sum, and dose Ibcir kry before ot anything short of an expert has time to t get down the date. By that way we are I able to dlstingui.li tictwccn them." While the elcctridty Jerker was deliver- J1 : himself o[ tire als.re information, lot J" j rar was keenly fixed on tlx- business ot the £ moment, and said: " Tliat isn't George f"' ; working at M— t " A I "No," said bis youthful assistant. "H.

In , was sent down the line yesterday.' in an office in which he knew he was not y- I working. Ho reached over to the Lev, called np tbe office, and then spoiled out : "Ain't that you, F ?" >c ■' i. 'mi u^'i'ifrf 1—c't "K'n:."*'' m " I kncw it was F ," said tire opera- »' dcrful legends of t heir cm! t and the stories " of their skill and achievements. Ooe told • yesterday is gopd and worth relating. Kit " was during tire late war. when everything was considered suspicious. A Oonfrdcr- ° ate General, accompanied by an expat in J telegraphy, dashed -pun the rliior of a litjj tie office on the Mississippi River, and. . placing a revolver at the operator's head. I1 told him to ask "M— ," twenty miles *• above, if there were any gunboats there . helanging to the Government. -The onerstor was a I'uioo man. He knew if hTre- • ceired a negative response the Confreler- , ates would move upon tbe helpless Union '■ town Of •• M . But there was no al2 terns', ive. Tlie other operator was watch - 0 ing him closely, go he called "M. ami asked previously if there were any 11 gunlmats itv-wighl. There were none within fifty tqj^. bat sometblng in tlie operator s manner of sending led the re- " cedring operator to suspect I betroth. So e lie answered • " Yaa, there are two in the hay, and • from my window I can see the smoke from two others -coming around the r bend." " M " was not molested. The operator's sagacity had saved tbe town. ! An interesting incident in direct line with this subject, occurred daring Uie recent telcplionic experiments between this • city and New York. While one of the instruments was being tried tbe wire be- ; came grounded. Tbe Morse instrument was ait in and tbe words "You area - crank." " Yon are a crank." were heard j over aod over again. Tlie office men were far a long lime undetermined to what ' cause to attribute the breaks Na ao-mi-r would an attempt be made Jo use Uie lele- • photic than tbe same breaks would occur ' "You are a crsolM^ Bylhllramg atiirol lively, old operators concluded that it was J tlie wort nf-snm operator hired by an opposing telegraph company to thwart tbe ; experiments. Those who were unsc- ! q -minted with tbe riremnstenrca held to tbe belief that the sender was a student; : hut the opinion of the operators proved j cocrert. "Tbe "bridge" was put on, ' the break 1- waled and loom! to occur he. . tween stations. It was afterward traced : dawn a* the wntk of aa operator iiald to the workings of tbe telephone then ; tried. Nothing Wicked In Stocks. Ons of the good demnos of which tbe State of MssaacbqgeUA boosts enteral the ; office of a Boston broker a few days ago . and explained : " Yoo a*. Some of the monhrra of our congregation have been dealing in futures ; and st-wks and soon, and part of us regard it as vety wicked and part of us think It no sin. I have been appointed a sort of delegare to come down and investigate, ■ and we wherein the evil lies. Will you • please explain?" "OrtatBly— crrtaiuly. K oppose, now. ! you crei Uwct to deliver 20,000 buafacla of July wheat at #1.15 pa bushel." • ' When the day of delivery comes > | wheat m worth only *1 per bushel. You, t£refo» clear IS cents pa bushel, or - 02000 on the transaction ' ' ' Why, I see no ain to that " | "Of eourse DOC. You take the 03000 aad boy 1 00,000 pounds of cotton at 9 , | cents. On the day of delivery cotton it , worth 12 reals. You, therefore, clear another 03000, pay the mortgage on your "i swan to gracious! Is -that what , they call -wicked?" exclaimed tbe good as be roar up. Wall, now. I wXut lo I leaven as had aa tbr next ooe, , . sar al«[ stab aod torn wMhdnw and join the shouting Metbodyour life doc'i blowout ijn hed 'roonJTS1 i is Dtova, Coi.

1 Old and Now Cnoo May. COMPARISON* that aex sot ODIOt s— tnx ' I From tt-e Suodsj Truth'. Capx May. May 30 — The visitor of a . decade ago lo Ibis aeaaidr resort would I scarcely recogn'tzc in the stiff, pretentious : hot both attractive >n.l Subsist, titi sub. ' ; stitutc for bis tinner favorite summer | the Cape May of his early fsncr ; It is easy to find reasons for this radical j ^'Mge Injh,. aspea^of^ tlie spot, and one thai the flames have wrought within" | quarter ..f a century appreciates the chari acta of the trnnsfonnstions that liaee oTctcome fair "Cape Island." But few of : these -ild ttai-lents. however, now fsv.ie the Capo with tiieir presence, and such names as those of the Drydcns, the Howell*, the Brolaskys, the Fotrer- | alls, the Uockiuae* and the .Schools arc . rarely lieanl. And it is- not surprising | that three wl... loved the Ume May of the past, when old Congress Hall was the sretw ef brilliant gatherings, embracing distinguished people from all |iarts of the oountry, and especially from the S-iath ; When the umbrageous pirclica of the old ; nited States Hotel, surrounded by the superb elms and willows, were to attraction to the 1-csl of society; when the Man. sion House, the Mount . Vernon Hotel, I and. cntlirr still, the "Blue Pig." Uic I '^lr'' ""I the K-lnunl held forth I irllo n"";lf vkarms to hosts of people, should not find in the new situations .the j wonted pleasure. The onlrolil landmark j that is left standing is the Tontine House. r k 'Y **n In j j-are with its neigh tain and more ymtl seemingly perfect system" ot"un-J«. fSround drainage, which ha. la-en coo- , sifhrably extended -luring -he trot year; I lion like that of The pail; i- ha. boa'd - J well-kept streets, and its new hotels, al- | tjuiiieh lsckinr ll.e walucrjre U .it I ! places thry fill. Tt,ere ha. been t-ut Hule J as well as the loiprorcments^ liordering I striking instance of this cxempfion front j harm is tbe fact that'Denirot's Pii-r lia* Withstood the hla«s of tlie elements with, out the slightest injury. I Among tbe substantia! luiiMing im- * flOy new cottages, most of which have 1-een erected by residents. Tlie new hotel Lafayette, n:i -elegant and substantial [ structure, with a grand ocean vista, the , Aldine Villa, an extension of the Colutn- s II b'ui House which adds seventv-five rooms

to its commodious quartets, tie- amiplrte ;,S structure being surmounted by a tower B)l ninety feel in height; two small cottages on Columbia avenue, below Ocean street, ; built by William F. Potts; another, c «ting 010.000, Constructed by Christopher ... Gallagher, of Philadelphia, sod turn stores. nd dwellings on Washington street. at. erected by the Knickaborker lev Com- , is pony. To these mast be added an extcosi.m Of the ocean ilrtvc 800 feet, from Madison avenue to Sewcil's Point, at the „ expense, (if Messrs. Sewall, Bullitt. Chan1,1 diet- Harvey and others, t), The East Cape May I And Company, of J„ which John C. Bullitt is Ibc bead and r- tt0"1- "°d the Cape May land Improve - ment Company, which owns- the Mark it. "rvme prop-Tty below the (Va' Bra-re (1 Hotel, and of which George McGnsrao is j the factotum, have done something to. ,4 ward pressing their enterprises forwam, re 'jJJjMfb Bttle budiiing has been done on *_ The hotel. p'roprictora are all looking I. forward to a season of proapaitv. and m tlie note of preparation, has been sounded. The deainica ot the Stockton House will I,, he controlled by J. Frank Cake'tbe old. " time manager of Congress Hall; Ibe Colv umbia House will bare for its governor ' the amiable and estimable Colaod Charles „ Duffy; OoDgreas Hall will continue under , tbe management of the Crumps; the Arc „ tic Ho- sc will have M. A. Root for its director; the Hotel Larayette. Frank Hil- ,, dreth. the Arliogton. J. J. Krotner. and e the New Atlantic, Mrs. Wylie, of Balti,C more. Dm. Pocsdkil 18 A " Clever Trick " of Thirty Years A«°- -- Troy Times. '5 'J*'? i*1"."' °f Bith?P Perk ffC*IU '° •- pense over thirty yean a go -a clever trick it of the unda-graduste boys of Dickinson a College. Carlisle. Pa., perpetrated soon d after his accession to the Presidency of n that institution. Moncure D. Conway, it then a Methodist preacher in prost-rct, r has the traditional credit of being one of •- tbe derisen of the scheme. r In the spring of 1R13 tlie Baltimore !. Methodist Conference held its annual sesi- sion in Staunton, Vs.. the scat «f one of s the three slate lunatic aiyinma. While n President I'eck was on bis way to the e Conference the young rascals lo the college ;- wrote to the superintendent of the Staun0 ton asylum that a lunatic had escaped from confinement in Pennsylvania, a very 1 large man. very baM-btadcd, with great, I. round, staring blue eyes., whose special . form of madness was that he was a MeUii! odist preacher and President of Dickinson 0 College, answering to the name ot Dr. t Peck. Tbe friends of the gentleman would be obliged to the Staunton supcrindent if he would walcb the cars aod quietly take charge of blm. Tbe superintendent was on hand, and singled out his man readily, and courto- „ ousiy addressed him ; 1 "Dr. Peck. I believe?" I " Yea, air." " President of Dickinson College ? " r "Yes, sir." , "1 have a carriage in waiting for yoo.", I " Yon are very kind," said the unsus- , peering stranger, as be took bis seat in t the vehicle, aod was forthwith whirled off lo the lunatic Umbo, where be would have ' been Incarcerated as a dangerous maniac it the preachers of the Conference had. not interfered aod assured i]h incredulous I keeper of Old Dominion cranks that the PalsUffiatLijociof was as pBOai the averr There was a funny scene In ooe of the ! big dry goods hhnsea the otha day. A I lady wearing ooe of those ngly, bat popular, insect ^Jiapcd ornaments upon her ! ' shoulder. while examining some goods. was i l observed by tbe floor walker, who ateppod - ' up with his opeolngxlay smile and new t ' spring bow, to reroaik: "Beg your par- i r dou. marttm, but there s a bug on ynor I shoo Ida," at the same time making ' i a grasp al Uie ostensible -insect, which. I I howeva, did" not move. Tbe lady looked i ' op with astoo ishmeat. whereat be made 1 . an-Aha grab, and this time socoeeded I > In scratching bis flnca with the pin by I 1 which the del nsivc decoration was secured. . - Hastily drawing hack, with the exclama- ! lion that tbe thing bad Bong him, the i iady was given time to Interpose an expla- i nation of the object of hie attack; and 1 I running a gauntlet of tltlas and audible i [ amiiea. the genlternan retreated to bit . i usual pjst ot observation. —Boston J'rt. '

Tha Champion Kisser. Tbe return of Miss Alice Harrison to ! Die city ot San Francises recalls an incident ot her career wbeo £ member cf the 1 fiungus Udifnrnia Company of four or t five yrars ago, which may still provoke a : I smile frran throe who witnessed tbe oe- 1 1 t currencc in question. About tbe time of ' >. Mtv.ll.-a farewell benefit at tliat theatre I .. General Khcrman waS visiting the city, i :r and with his Maff occupied a box at said ' p-Tforniamv Now. whstcva difference I c renown of the General of oaf armies, there - ■s is no dispute as to his bringtbe champion - a kisaa of our continent. In feet, the hero ' . ut Atlanta may be said t* porarss a mania t e for latiial salutations of a falhaly sdlV, ' f and is known to frequently indulge in the' ! r proud hoau tint be had kissed 90 pa < 1 cent, of all the pretty girls of the United [ . Stales. Ills chief of tuff - vice 'computed c . the General's kissing monthly average. I i- taken all the rear round, dry and wet sea- i j sons included, at about 1 «o«. or a»y, in ' ,( round numbers, about 29.000 kiaaaa pa I r each fi-cal year. If the General had only t I added babies lo Ibc list of his subjects be ' i- would have kissed his way into tbe White I ; House years ago; but his reluctance to < i waste valuable time and raw material in " c the pursuit of his ttubby induces him. 1 . Willi l lie true instincts of a veteran pro- i . feasor of ovulation, to select ppiy tlie r , prettiest of tbe sex f-ir that boner. it At -the benefit referred to, no sooner n , did Miss Harrison appear on the stage n . than the old war-horse snuffed the battle n • from afar, and began to grow restless and a ; uneasy. The staff winked at each other, arid s ain their chief suggested the pro- I i Wc must now ask our readers to ac- a - company us to the little Danish settle, h ■ mi nt of EcricrlanjJ.'on tlie lx-riler* »f tlie tl Baltic, in Ibe tear 1831. A village festi-- w val is t-eiug held, and a* usual the distiu- h wh?hM rakroTh"*"" ral",r * i ing anil virtue. There o a young Amni. H can . -ffieif amid Mir number,, who. inslead h •f priming the cus-.nmary chaste salute P upon the cliei-k of the village cejcbrlly, 1) KftssAiiasiE'.-ssiv j fly by. and just as the spectators are about quarter the young officer cranes to the in 1-austed wind the weatht-r-lv-ate-n captain H of a wrecking hew approaches and rare ; si "Young man, I'll give y-rn your own bprice to ship asiih me as a diva." P"And why 7" i" "Because you ran bold your brralli hi than any man in the businAo." We merely relate this little incident to hi emphastee i«ir story. The kisser was '? General Sherman pitched in wiih tbe re- 'r mark" tha; be hadn't kined unv thing since hri-akfasL He was standing in the middle at of the stage, with his back to the curtain, c: and absorbed in bestowing a paternal kiss as and absorbed

' upon Alice, and foeling like a just ad- ' milted sugel sliiling down a buttered rain- ' iiow. when that impish young lady saw that lite prompter was about to ring up • the "drop." Quickly- placing her hands ' hear the U II. she backed bitn against the ■ curta'm. As every one knows, this wound '• around a huge wooden roller on the in- • side of the canvas. Tbe Uenerars ooatn tails were caught by this as tlie curtain '• was suspended about ten feel from tbe , stace like a sliea from a clothes line. . The audiaice went off into hysterics of merriment, while the members of the " stsff lay down on the floor of their box ,, and absolutely. ltowlcd, fur they only ' -knew that those convutiivcly clutching legs and venerable gaiters belonged to the Conimsinler-inKthkJ of all our armies. J But tbc^ first thing we know Uie General's ' Tltloa In tho"^rmekll CI b I From the petroil Free Presv Rev. Penstock, who insists upon being ' addressed by his title, and who never acr cords tlie same honor to any of the Judges, • Colonels, or Professors in the club, audr deoly bobbed up and offered the follow. ■ '""'/ira-imf. I)at judging a dog fight or a ; jumping match dies not license acull'd 1 man lo assume dc title of Judge Wi'd a - big J ; and Ilr-Ated, Dat while while waahin' an' stove blsckin' 'am purfeshuns lo be looked ' "ch*0 *fc*h*'>CClt'1 dr puss'ns follain' fessors wid a big I"; and Itemized, Dal bossin' a job ul diggio' a . rellar or fillin' an icchouw dron' entitlt de . bosaa to call himself Colonel, i Penstock was hardly' down before Ibc 1 thirteen Professors, Seventeen Judges and i twenty-eight Colonels In the dab were on I their fa: and demanding to he heard. Ttiey felt the insult, and were prepared lo resent it. and PcnstoeM was seen to [ crow palest the rale of a mile a mlnule. lirolbcr Gardner finally secured silence. - after continuous rapping, aod then said : " Will dc Rev. Penstock please explain ' how he cum by hit title ? " "Yes, ssh. die a preacher, sail." " Was you regularly ordained ? " "Yes, aah." " Who ordsinad you " "Two dracoos of dc Fust Baptist [ Church of Richmond." There was a general yell ova his reply, and the worthy member lost his temper , and rushed ftDm I he. room. . "Aly frh-ndV^kin-lly observed the i President, " envy alius overreaches ha. so B. If it seems to phase a fellow mortnK> call him Professor, or Judge, or Majfir, or Ginoal, kap it up. It costs nuffln'. an' keeps him good-natured. It sounds much better to read in dc papers dat Prof. Gioalong Jones an. at present 1 engaged in cartin' out ashes fur CdL Dsy. ' ball Smith dan to menahun dat ole nigger i Jones has struck a job of de ginger beer 1 pcddla. La dignity go wid your titles, ' howeba. Pr.-feasura am outa plseeun a 1 . wliite man's diickcn coop, an' lie Jqdgv ' who leu his wife go b'arful will appear ' powerful small in de cyea of bis nsvbuia I We will now strike a chain' altltivVl. an' I disjourn dc matin' " ■ Ancient Classics for English Readers. 1 This is Ibe title of s unique and really , delightful series of books, tbe fitB volume | of which. "Ttie Commentaries of Caaar," by Anlbooy Trullofie, is Just issued. The , aim of the series is to open to tbe un- i learned English resder tbe beauties and of classic lore, tell wbo the , writers were, give some connected outof tbe story they narrate, present ; of their moat striking passages in cbaice Eugiiah iraoatarioc. aad illustrate , them with tbe wealth of modern scholarship." There are 27 volumes in all, and , they ban am 0100 each. arc publishing in Tie Ellerir li- , tram, in really charming style, at 15 orals each for papa binding, or 10 orals , for cloth binding. " Herodotus," by George O. Ma-sync; "Cicero." by W. 1. | Collins, and " Demosthenes," by W. J. t Brodribb, are announced lor immediate i sr. d the «ba ephunos are to follow, ooe or m.vr rach week, until the series is complete. From evra these marvelous! j prices large discounts are uffoed to clubs ant! ilK prompt 'orders John B. 1 Airtct|, 1'aUisber, 18 Yerey 8c, New J

The Corn Dentist and Plumber. > (Wc of those mistakes that are liable to . occur in tbe be*! regulated famllle*. made ' quite a laugh in a WKl'siile trsidciKx- a ■ few days ago. Tlie lady of tlie boure had i grumbling shunt a corn on her fool, for montha. and her husland liad tried in Tain lo get bet lo consent to liars a reguordained "corn drain" come up and remove it. but she was afraid it would hurt and she was nervous about having a horrid roan touch her hare font, and she suffered along until Turadar, When in a moment ot agony she U.U1 thc old man to sent up hit nun dentist as nick as he had a inind lo. He went own to his office and ordered the corn tq go up. He iisd already ordered a plumlKT to go to the house and mend aotuc fixtures that had sprang a leak The plumber got there first. The lady gave orders that if a man called with some onm tools, to send blm up to ha room. The plumba rung Ibc belt, and on being asked where tha work was lo be done, the girt told him to go up to tbe lady's town, swt- "« man went up. He bad a roll aI-«oth with tools in it. and as he put it down on the floor to unroll the tools, the lady took off bcr slipper, and removal ha slocking, and placed 1-er foot on a hassock. She looked at the plumber's tools oa the floor, sn-1 almost hinted. There was a big pair of pincbcn and two files, and a lot of iron things that looked big ensugh to reUie corns from an elephant. The man was sorting out the tools, and dido* notice the woman's fright, until the asked: "Is this going to hart much? If it is I had rather Buffer the annoyance." "O. no." said "The man looking up at the gas bracket by the wIdiiow, which had a rag wound around the Joint which leaked, "1 toe* the cap onto the joiohao ga« cannot escape." and seeing the woman's bare fool so near him he opened his eyes in wondtr, aod blushed like a gill. She looked at him anil wondered why lie did not go to work on her foot. was a great, big, muscular fellow, and looked as little like the way she sup posed a rom doctor woold look at possiTaking op a big pair of pinchers. which he carrioi, to test *haky"cas fixtures, he said: "Where due# it seem lo be tbe woret?" "There." says the little woman, bendover and placing ha flnga on the next In the little toe. "Right between two toes. It is a soft corn and sometimes it makes me wild. Now, do careful, won't you," as the man dropped his pi richer" and stqpd hack as though had been struck bylightning. Then laughed out loud, and said: "Madame, I have bcra in tbe plumbing for twenty-two years, but this is tbe flrarohnc I was ever called upon to re"Excuse me," and lie began to roll op bit tools. "Heavens and earth!" said the woman, she tried lo put on her slocking wrong end first, snd blushing so she looked is; though she neva had a com, "I

d. thought Vou was a corn doctor. There is n- the gas fixture you are to putty up," and w she went out of tbe room in hci stocking jp feet to blow up tbe girl for sending a ds plumber to plumb a corn. The com doer>t tor arrived soon afla.and did his work, and ar when be and the piutbba went out toad gether they were haringa great laugh as n. they turned tbe corna. Wtenahe tells bcr ,t. husband to send tip a man to do any work in about the bouse now, she stipulates that id lie shall not sfad a plumber, whatever in lie does How a Corn Doctor Chuatod a of Croat Man. ly Borne twenty yean ago David Davis •g was suffering with a severe bunion oo bis k left foot Al least Ibc Senator supposed it was a bunion, although, aa be hadn't '» seen bis feet for a generation, it was prctlg ty much a mat la of guess work. However, it bun him more than tbe Republican successes, so 'be called in a chiropodist, and when that specialist inspected the damage and came to tbe surface once , more be reported that tbe excrescence waa •i about aa big as a 10-crat loaf, and that *. would save the foot. Mr. Davis accordd- ingly procured a shoe of tbe slx-days-go. '- as-you-plrase description. tixf too of which he could almost sec himself when be kicked out pretty bard. It was a sail d sight to wstcb the presiding officer of our 11 most dignified body hobbling up the Cap- . itol ateps. supported by a big cane and n the leallia pedestal referred lo, for six -■d months after tliaL It was a new edition 0 of Bunion's Pilgrim's 1'rugreas, bound in '- calf. Sometimes the bunion would grow betta and sometimes worse. Meanwhile - the Cora Doctor sent in his regular bill w "for digging out the Senator's foundation," as be facetiously called it. At last * the sufferer became Imbued with an abd sorblng desire to visually Inspect the eauic J> of liis termrnts, and one day yielding lo a '• sudden impulse, lie limped into a pbotod graph saloon, pried off his shoes and 're- ° quested tbe operator to lake a tin-type of L his foot. When it was completed be al- '• most fell off his seat in an apoplectic fit of rage, for the picture disclosed a small iron 11 clamp attached lo his little toe, which ibc chiropodist evidently tightened or looaenc d at pleasure. The Senator determined upon a frightful revenge.ancl the next morning, when tbe earn Doctor knelt to remove tbr Shoe, the man of weight dclilieralcly turned ' around and at on bim. But wby dwell upon tbe ad particulars* Tbe corn dor- '■ tor sras removed to tbe hospital, where, ' three montha afta.be died to slow music. afta having made a full cnofeaaion and in c tbe full hope of a glorious immortality. f Thu Tuachers that -Teach In IIt It is by tome peribua considered an it open question whether education cdu- . cales. There is no question that educationr al machinery, properly lubricated with , cash, moves smoxthly, taking in at ooe u cud of its curriculum thousands of brighta eyed urchins, and turning them out duly r at the otha end afta five or six years, r with more or less of knowledge. Bat i_ the machine seems to be out of gear in IIaod tlie urchins will bare a poor show, as the following answers given at an cxaininatiw by several teachers In Adams county, Illinois, holding firstgrade certificates, would indicate : One named as three living American f poets - Shakespeare, Byron aod Lnngfcle low. One teacba thought Shakespeare was e daui; thought he died in Indiana about 1 . ■ Aretha* arid "Pilgrim's Progress" S written by Lwigfellnw. Anatha said "Code Tom's Cabin" wss I wrntrn by Byron. /" > Another thought a bicycle was a muni. Anotba did not know what a tcleL jIUllk....A ora 1-er -lid not know that Cuogreas I Anotba tboagbT'tbal Frelingbuyacn r Several had not hoird of Uie Vienna or - United States floods, or of -tbe Star-route - trial. Moat ot them are men teachers, r and these are ooly part of tbe answer*. ' a^w "or e'lr' imm'uui^raiS^'Sa ■ -