[?]

VOLUME XXIX. V CAPE MAY CITY. NEW JERSEY. SATURDAY. JANUARY 5.1884. WHOLE NUMBER. 1539.' Plcktne* fromourExohangee.

&5BM jape may city. »t. j. S 1 .50 a year in Advanoe. yrufrMianal ffardi. ]" B. HUFFMAN, ~ . \ttorwnt Aim mrx» ellor AT law soucttoe. wawnni and examiner mcnancitpt. AAA NOTARY public. Cap* Hat owe. tinea*. H. J. p|" F.DOUGLABS, ( "" a ttttk wirra nrx tr solicitor in chancery CinHiTftn alter a. barrows, i attorn b v-at-la w j . SOLICITOR IN CHANCKHY, . | i-qr j. f. leaking a bon, j dentTbts, ' ,r'v. j1" aaa omaa jissir E. niLBRETH, I attorneyTat-law " solicitor, banter and examiner in chancery. cnyfx. ?. a JpRBERT WTBBMUNDS, 1 att0rneyat-la1t, aoucrroR and banter in chancery r| At OAJ* cam BM". TWAunU Fridays' J^R. JAMES H. INGRAM, PIITSICIAN AND SURGEON, ] jjxnry m. boyd, attorney- at-law >< CONVEYANCER. thl'st rcniw^-'-wata '-'n hand tor notary pdri.ic. ^rit.j JJEitfBEN TOWNKEND! AOItNT CtlMBRLAXD mutualfire insurance co. j C.J.- b.t c *.rt ll-w. N.J. )«A-T ALFRED FLANDERS, counseli-orxt-i.a w. || SproU! Mauev ••»-! Flveilaer CASueroy. Ktl^iw»re*ujara«!w cvwaiy vtuis "5w!"b" ' h*r,W1' ' 'iVr j fcusinrss (fards. "f£nos r^nlllam^ ARCHITECT AND BUILDER. will make deaw'nwi. and NtTERIV | tend ob ojttract. OFFIO-41 .Was*ln»>..i. «.. Oap* bit. XJ. u ^ b- little. PRACTICAL AINTF.R AND GLAZIER. J QRGANS AND SEWING S1A - B. F. HORNER, PUM ORGANS & SEWING MACHINES RRIPOETON, H t. Op- Biy chj. spri-J ^ Q.O To GARRISON'S ' STATIOHEBT, AHD STORE VARIETY J FOB GOLD PEIta. MLANK booeiltoilet •» BINIATTRE W^CIB^B » NTjJA OTUKED ON c AX WING BACIIINE NEEDLES AND OIL A It W ASBINOTON ETH««T.CAPK BAY. N. j. Hoarding Souses. tj^tebt JERSEY HOTELl ■Maw* atm* aad Mattel Sirens, T. W. MOUNT, Profdrtor. IWEWBWjMl^MnMS, rotofart. *pB BAY VIEW HOUSE, j5almbr hquke, j4

,| . DURABILITY , SEA SHORE PAINTING SECURED BY USING LUCAS' LIQUID PAINTS1 AND CAPITOL LEAD. PLANING MILL, SASH FACTORY & LUMBER YARDS Sash, Blinds. Shutters. Mouldings. BRACKETS, SCROLL WORK, TDBNINGS. ETC, BUILDING LUMBER OF EVERY DESCRIPTION. O*"' WILLIAM C. SCUDDER & SON, PHONT AND PEDEKAL STREETS, CABDEN. N. j. jelt-r ! ICE! ICE!_ ICE! KNICKERBOCKER ICE CO., OF PHILADELPHIA. ICrTLT HOTELS, I1E8TACRANTS AND COTTAGES WITH PURE EASTERN ICE. COAL! COAL! COALL DEBT QUALITY, CAREFULLY PREPARED POP FAMILY USE, AND FULL 1 WEIGHT GUARANTEED; ' A-od your orders to toe BmcA outre. ""• I WABHINGTON STREET Abort OCEAN, CAPE MAT. k. j. • The Best is the Cheapest ! ' BENEZETS BOOTS AND SHOES,: 5 I Washington Street, Cape May, N. J. Ro" ***nl ,or *•' Uf CdtOratod "WALKER S H O E." i Iprttt-U WW. 11. BRXEEET. BOOTS AND SHOES! lAntM ud Moa Comptsu Suva of Good, Cheap Roues ud Show la Cap* MAI 0*. STYLE QUALITY AND PRICE CANNOT BE SURPASSED. | ONE PRI C ETO NLY. b i FI N EWALLTAPERS ELDREDGE JOHNSON. r» 80 WASHINGTON STREET. BUY YOUR FLOUR AND FEED ELDR EDGES' GRAIN DEPOT, No. 3 Decatur Street, Cape May City, ""WMl Indian Mral at B Uanrt.lOnra w* bar- a, Imu 1S«*nu alailir Oa«a M eaaufl t I* mu Hal and CmArd Cera. battel, braa al II Ji a c»L al « to. Ship Mai. 11.41 and Biddna*. »l.ra TKHBS. I A«ll. . ABa arret tar ibr aak nf mi% 3oit Puiraan. Sraa Gcaao. So. I Pzarriaa coo, b">'° L,>" r'""T"' WM. B. ELDREDGE. a FEEHCE cn AS. C. REEV ES FRENCH & REEVES, Noa. 18 and 15 Federal Street. CWMDEN, re. J". GRAIN. FLOUR AND FEED. Fertilixera, Agricultural Implements and Truck Baskets. A. F. KENDALL, | MANUFACTURER OF DOORS, SASH, BLINDS, SHUTTERS, MOULDINGS, j SCROLL WORK, WOOD TURNINGS, MOSQUITO SCREENS, | DEALER IN LUMBER. j ' C. B. COLES, i LUMBER MERCHANT, i 'Doors, Sash. Blinds, Mouldings Boxes, &c. BRACKETS AND SCROLL SAWING. i Office, No. 1 4 Kaighn's Arenue, Camden. N. J. JelL; |

Wrdinl. | Delicate and Feeble Ladies. | joa u hrlacaroiu au • v. bo m pur !»«; taal * Ibnu, nran inn Mmlm trnrui ..a ' trsitdj. Bop Bturra Irrrealanu-a aad .duiro- ( , j i hr -per Ml euar o» p-rtodr-al^ia arr p-rmm. ' ' i and aooe arc co plvfnundlp grmMlal aad. abow [ )]"i~ ; Lid tor am (VOL, Tbrta eM» a«° aba wian t j tODirHiip 8'ti.r, will. Miclcaed rBreiibaiab* r ' j«tn'aa*la lb- lamuj.-^ ladj. la nmliw. a ' 'V^" HlHh Authority. Gauu B. Rata. V. ». era. Hid Hrv ® ^ Baby Saved: n 1 Wcarrao ibaakfui to aaj ibat oar amnnt 1 « pr.araa.dtiBMipui.ai and Irrwulann of to- ' ixarcM bylbcauol H'd> Bm-nlrn. una * wtoch at to-aara-tim- r-Uor-d b-rtoptrf-cl r k-.Rb and urufta.-Tb- Purola. Itetoto, *' ! ORANGES AND FLORIDA rionda fail to Atop iu people lali ol b.pp,a-» " udcaarnrL Art USK b-lp Bator— rujaarrr U "And. calcf amor* th- bl-uap, wklcl ar- B ud t'raiiarat lor tbai uilMrarl- maladr* " failed ebcdlj 10 brla* aboeu I am alac clad to «

I'ABLCa'a Tonic. Ta- wonl 'GByr-r-la drepp-d 1 I aad aa ytngrr la u caimportul aaronastoSKd- j in , CatarhH 'caar-peanlwa- j | outoaa.^JtAJlBy ,TV , 'jgewHsasssTOiss €apr YWau Co. Prnhmts. • CT SCHF.I.I.kni;KH. ) I " Tr~ '", I groS£ if SV'piviioNs ' All Goodl U Beit m FMwSdtllrer-d lr— I , °r ctaraa. I-iAp 3 JAMES H.ECHELLENGER, > GREEN CREEK. CAPE MAT CO, FRESH AND CURED MEATS, • ""TsffSrSi™ ™" *— al maika prtra*. "mr* i»*n"u£ai eSir. j*.j fJHOMAS EBRICSON'S GROC E RIEsT PROVl's IONS. DRT GIKJDS-TKIMB1M.5. NOTIONS I JOHN M. RUSSELL, OBNSRAL DEALER IK I DRY GOODS, GROCERIES, ] ' BOOTH, SHOES AND NOTIONS. j FL^UIl AND FEED. , ! PATENT MEDICINE*, . _| PORK. LARD, HAMS, SEEDS. 4" JOHN M. RUSSELL, C°t< El*"*. °«P- "AT Ou. N. J. C. PRICES' 8TOBJJS, j al.n PERRY FT, CAPE MAT .*ITT, i j 6B0CERHS, DRY GMDS aifi NOTIONS.; OUA VA^IiuBvOLsASaad PUI1T. | IMMrm Baui: j CONN IAS^at »R.ix®M.E»'iLL rrvo I .! WOOD YARD. J WOOD CUT A SPLIT. CEDAk PONT all air—, j

PIONEER LIFE. I' KOOLLKTIOSI -W EA1U-T DAT! IN TH* | J™L « NT nk «. aoOTT. OF LINCa-Txa. o. j Beaidaa the esptore ud ekrryicg letn J , eaplirily of children by the Indians nloDg , the finmieri of the adruce arltlrttirnta - . «I the rmriy Went, there were frequent in- ' a dc— a of their hrentning brat in the for. ! ' rail by Buying away. I am able to ; , rerkll three of tbeae occtirreocea t mt look i place In our and adjoin'tog reulanenli. ' ' triihlbeper1icu1eraufwbiehlwaitin.iliar. One. ud the inoet melancholy of ; them *11, bar fotlowt: There were many custom! and babiii . . of the log oabin pioneera of the wild wet! . which bare not heretofore hero meotloned * former akelche*. Tbry hare moatly | Into disuse by the changing times. . Among them area that the blowing horns ! at ir'rgular hour*, aa aignala of diatices. i a- thai help was needed. There was no j i | cabin without a born of some kind. The ; | cows horn was often impoverished, he | sawing off the the lip and btlrtyjig an J 1 j opening through with ihe "burning iron" 1 to inert the natural hollow pajf, after the j ' I- >ne had been rcmored. Tbry were ex- j ' cedent substitutes for the lin bom. The j ' in ihe morning, and about twelve m.. was I ( .fie hteakfast and dinner horn. Al any 1 other time, but especiallly in the bight, it ' | was a call fat somebody to come, ud I failed to bring Ibeneanru neigh- 1 I believe h was :n 1830, 1 was aliout 13 1 yeai^TOd, and was returning from Ihe < oiitl wiih my'lwg of own meal. I had 1 an ived within 800 or 400 yards of a little < larm in the woods, when 1 caught the ' eound of my aun| s voice aniionaly calling ' iulervala of lesa than half a minute, 1 "Brckey," "Beckey." t«uch calla were by no n-eani uncommon I out of sight or behind time, and I thought ' nothing of it nntil I bad come down ihe 1 lane to a point opposite the boose. My 1 aunt was standing out iu Ihe yard with ' baby in her arms. She called tome 1 mod said she had sent Ileckry and Mar- 1 cant over to Mr. II.'s for some milk, ud ' thai I bey had been gone more tbu three 1 hour*, and she was very uneasy about I them; and she asked me if I would ride ' out no the palb and see if I oould meel them. But 1 had yet nearly a mile to go ' through the woods, ud A portion of Ihe ' way through a awall, and the ton was ■ just artting. I told bar that the girls 1 would surely be along in a lew minutes. 1 and that my mother would be very un- 1 M.. ir T h;. ( ™. i. ....... ,_.i. c nol get before dark.

The dlataner over to II. a was tbree-quar. of a'mile over a blared palb through the thick woods. Rebecca was nine uil sTisKit- iissr. lillle Becca ud Maigel: 1 can atill see them running down the lane to mea t , lis when we went over1 there; but I never ' saw thein again. It teas thick dusk when I arrived 1 home, and my father bad jnst Jakrn the hag off from the horses back, when long ; blasts of the born; back from the dirrc- ' tion which I had come, reached our ears. | 1 told the story of the absent children, as J I had heard It, and at once, without waitI inc for a bite to cat, my father called my ! ildev brother, and the three of us haricn- | cd over to my uncles. It was a very dark night, ud ifheo we arrived at the house the door was closed ; and everything around was profoundly • silent- A"amall dog disputed our eD'rance ! at the door, ud was sent bowling anajnd ; Urn cabin by a vigottmt kick from my ' father. Inside was a Utile boy of flvr," i crying on Ihe hearth, and a smaller on* ' asleep beside him. There was a small fir, burning in the chimney place, jnst aufll J rient to shed a dubious light about the • <o-m. My father went out In the yard, r and presently beard my lunt calling out of the woods hack of the emit field. II-sp-edily improvised a torch from some dry clapboards and hickory hark that was al Q ways kept at band for emergencies, ud went out aud brought her In. She had waited till darkness was scttiug In, ud Si hen. with her bnhy, had walked all the way to her neighbor's, but only to Irani thai Ihe girls had started home mure than - an hour before night. In returning, in the ' thick darkness she was unable to follow the path, and became kwt In the woods Mr. II. was also from home. There was no Intelligence of the children. That they i wet* k»t. was now beyond all doubt. My father at once begun long and loud blasts • from the cow's horn, which was kept up for some lime, to indicate the emergency I; of the case, ud by About ten o'clock Vow 10 peraboa bad collected, moatly bringing h rcbe* with them. From that rime until daylight the wands was blaring with l orchis, ud Al sunrise no clue what-

ever hid been obtained. In the mcan- , lime, throughout the night, horns were blown ud guns fired off aa far as the trarch extended, eo that in tbeearly morn- y a ing all within hearing bad collected, wheo h the hunt was syatemattsed. and prepara- I r ii ms completed for searching every rod of L L ground for milea around. I Various 'theories were dlsetueed, the prerailing oneheing that tbry had left the path > foe some purpowe and being uoabia to re- ' gain It, bad wandered away Into the I • depths cf the forest btyood Jhe call of their motherTMf^gthers I he Ireful tug- t gear loo was thrownoBfThat tbry might I have been picked np by pnnthets, which ' are more or lera prowling through the < woods. Thetheoryof capture by Indians was likewise thought of ; but do Indians " had been beard of in the country for See- t I In the early part of the day the tin < ! bucket, containing about one quart of ' . milk, was found a few hundred yards I L I north uf the path: ud s'.ill'furthcr away, i i late In the afternoon, a fragment of ooe ■ ' of the little-oalico-dresara was found ad^ i i boring to a thorn bush, where It bad been j ' I Ms off ; and a few rods farther the sun- j i t, [bonnet of Margaret was picked up. It was ! I ! October, aad the children were barefoot- | ' ; Early fn Ihe morning of Ore seoSnati ' I day the little barefoot tracks were found J :

| where the children had been following the margin of a small branch for a short diatuoe, but beyond that they oould not be ' traced. This was acme two rut las from , the foot path O". mm or leasing between the ; was found All theories were nnw given . lost in the foresL ! The circle of the search was widened j 1 1 each day. as the crowd continued to augt rocot by Ihe cocsunl arrival of people ; , frcan more remote settlements, uolil at | - last more thu 3000 persons were believed r to be engaged io the html. Muy name across from (be south aide of the Ohio, i Wagon loads of provisions were sent in ! from remote settlements to sustain the I people. A system of aignala to be given r , by the horn and the firing of guns, aad headquarters .were established, where reI porta were made ere-y evening The slg- , ; nal for Ihe finding of the children, dead or , alive, waa to he three guna or blasts uf the horns, three limes repented. In u east and northeast direction from j the little settlement on the creek where ! 'be children strsyed swsy. there seal u wholly unbroken wilderness of | fully 30 miles in extent. There were no j more then a few small cabins scattered , j through it at wide intervals; Through , this with' expanse nf waste, wolves, |«nthers, bests, wild cats and catamounts : abounded. The whole extent was fioally I over. The last sad hope was' kept i that if the dear liule girls t boa Id fin. i alii have fallen a prey to savage beasts, ev ideoce of inch a fate might be dis. , covered in fragments of thiit clothing, or tbeir hones. No such signs were ever nor wee the signal for "found" I Drard; ud the mystery will only be unfolded in thai great ud final day when all secret things will be revealed. , The mother of little Beckey and Margaret was a Christian philosopher, ud , she sustained herself during the three ; "~ta c.f terrible ordeal with a calm re- | signation to whatever might be io store ( here but kbe. never saw bet darlings agsin on the shone of Time. I recall, but with no pleasure, the dreary three weeks. 1 was much of the lime io the j woods with the hunters; ud I well . remember bow our care became wearied , for the final signal, which wav , never beard. Twenty years afterward, the family re- | moved to western Illinois, where the of the children sooo after died. My aunt died in about 1850, al the ripe age of ' 80 years, ud went to join ber lost amoog the angels. The wilderness, 1 the scene r,f the melsncfaoly tragedy, is '

"Hey, old man, wbst's the mstler with , your homebody deaor I'm In an awful hurry. I've got to get < "I* your wife cv children aickf Why, | man alive, you are aa pale as m ghost.., ■ 1 "I know I am. I've reason to be; but • ' let me go," ud he rushed up the street ( ' bk' a maniac. , Presently be returned with his hands in , ' his pockets, bis hat arranged jauntily on' I one side of his bead, s powerful, happy ( " look on his face, and from bis lipe came ' the luneful strains of 'Oh I'm s Deny." , "1 beg your pardon, old man for my abruptneasa few mnm-nU ago, but I bad ao ; ' lime to lose; let's smile." , And over a glass nf beer be confined to ' bit frtend that be had given the coat be ' had been wearing for several months to f ' tiii wife 10 sew on a button a od bad forI. gotten to first look ihrough'Ute pockets. "Bot I scar just to lime," lie eald, «riih " a heartfelt sigh, ud bit f rirod, * bo was a benedict himself, pressed his hand earnoily ud they parted. II A prominent business firm in one of our • leading cities, which has groara rich by ) liberally patronizing the printer, gives tu d ceroing advertising; d ' We have for many yrsra studied the <1 art of advertising, ud still it remains a >e marvel to us that there lAot a hundred n times mare of II. We never knew a man n to advertise his wares liberally and stead- * lly that it did not pay. Yet there are ■ thousands of manufacturers ud tens of > thousands of men, having articles which >* they declare ought to be In every hjuse1 hold in the oounlry, who advert!* y at gingerly and closely aa though tbry " bad at heart no faith In it at aJJL Bow P can they expect to get their goods uyy where unless some koowlege of Ihe article k first gats into the family newspaper. If y we wailed till people learned from the " oeykpra, we might wait for years before >E the mat wonderful and useful invention I- became known."

The Terrible Small Boy. "Mr. Crimson beak, will .you show me chickens if I come down to jour t tome day t" asked little Johnny a Whsn he ud bit wife mere calling al the Yeast residence. ' \ t "Why, Johnny, I don't keep chickens, " replied Mr. Crimaonbeak, gently pattlpg the boy oo ihe head; "what made you a think I did!" < "Why, wbeneatv 1 bear mamma mention your name, she calla you the henpecked husband ; hut 1 can't see bow you < be hen-pecked if don't keep uy , chickens." I John suddenly vanished from the room, 1 and taking his father's r levator far the I garret. ^ ' . "A Nebraska widow with twenly-ooe children it advertising for a hash and." ( it great virtue in printer'! Ink ; It , has brought fortunes, ta both men ud wo- j men; but we don't believe a doable col- 1 advertisement inserted next to read- j < ing matter every day for six months. . weald brings husband to a widow wlih i • ! twenty-one children— oolem the Mmcwre I i In the back ground or somewhere.' j . We dislike to go hack on advertising, but I : the line must he drawn somewhere. - I fftrnU. , J<

e Ark anus Way*. "WW you pleass lend me your sir j » sail u Immigrant, stopping at the fen * r • mounding a log cabin and addreawng s t citizen of Arkansaw. "My wagno broke , » down bad here a piece, and puts me out > pretty badly, I aMure you. I wont keep i it loog. Will you lend it io me r 1 "I would if H wu't fur ooe thing." - [ said the equatter, for such be was, re- , e plied. . ' t "What's that?" " I 1 "Ain't got nary n.' > "You don't pretend to aay that you I - haven't got u as, do youf I 1 "Noah, don't pretend Irr say ir, bot I > jest my IL" i i "How do you get BkoR) without sn I I EX?" "Don't get along without ooe." "Didn't yon say yon cBdnl have one?" L r "Yed." » "Then you have qnef" | ■ "Nock." i i "My friend, 1 hate to call a man a liar, j 1 but I'm afraid this occasion demands il. i You are a liar one way or the other. I t ' don't know which.' t i "Ef I thought that you meant that I'd i I git over lhar u" crawl over yer till yer « dog would meet yer iu the road u' would g not recognize yer, but I don't b'leve yer ' meu it. You tec, i niter baveuaz.bat 1 * It, ud since then I have bean bor- f rowin' from one of the neighbor*, bot 1 a ain't got it now." t "How far does the neighbor you apeak I of live from here?" a " 'Boat elz mile*.' "He's not your' closest neighbor, is t L* "Nook." t "Then why do you go so far to (borrow ] ax r ■ l "Wall, you ace. it I borried it from a t close neighbor he could step over an' git g it aoy time, but when I borried It from a frllrw that livce ao far away, he waits a - good while before be cornea atUHL" < "Why don't you buy in ax?* ^ • It's cheaper ter borry it" j "But you lose a great deal of hue go- ! after Itr «* " , "No more tbu the Mher fellow doe* In I cunin' trier il. Wall, good day, far I've t got to go oul ud borry a tuk the ole wo- i mini got too hlgb-tonrd to wash in th* J Water aa a Thirst Quencher. c Events* CsIL "Did yon .ever suffer extreme banger or € thiret!" Was asked of i Kentucky Colonel ' who bad been relating some solid stork* •bout himself.

"Well," be replied. "I never (offered what might be calltd extreme bong^ nomas knows how -to endure ftfeajdeks ol thirst better tbu I do." 1 excuraioD ud became lost io the woods For three dsys not * drop pained my lips ' Mylengtbened absence fi nil lycaosed Alan* ^ lying inu uDLuuAfM|i ions [ condition on Ihe hank of a llpri front stream, aod It was hour* beforerSJlmpes of saving me was enletulqed.* '. "Was the trout stream dry!" asked ooe "Dry! Certainly not. How could I catch flth U lbs stream was dry!" "Well. I don't see bow you could suffer ' from thirst with a ^tream of water close at 1 hand. $«£ 1 "Water cloae at hand!" rnHM ' Krntuchv CWoneL "And whgf'WWater I k"' to do with a muA being ( Mine# Meat. i 1 From Pack. « ' It is u old New Eoglud custom to - place the mlnced-meal jar in a ennveoiem spot in the pantry where the various members of the household can drop in odds ud.ends of raw material from time Mr. Uukiosoo Boomwhlftar raaeatly ' thought It would be a good scheme to ' iotrodaoe this system Into the domestic -cooomy of his New Y'ork establish m*l. ' A recent essay of Mr. Buklnaoe Boom1 wbiftert Jar ahowed upas follows. ' Three croes sections of bacon rind. One turkey wing. Two cuhea of free-lunch cheee*. One steak bone. ' One aboeotriog. ' Collections of banana skins One canceled postage stamp. Two peanuts. ' One blood alky. " Ball fish hall. Two apples c One tallow cadk. ' Six sulphur matches 0 Remnants of a ham madwich. « One shoe, No 17. His Honorable Bon.

Prom ths Wall Street News Ooe was a Coitsd States Beaalor, and the other a Wall Buret speculator. The speculator led off with; "Leta'a aeetyoo bad sane!" "Yes air. so I hid." biuerly replied the the other. "Aod be— be k not in politics! ' "No. air — no, eirf I gave bim 85,000 to Utah i- his fines lut Hun Ik flu of Ohio, ud what did be dor "Bought Mndmr "Nn. sir. Be weal Into a It rex pad ud made 830, 000 to tlx moolhs! ■ Ah! may you never knew what vtds to. a plebiu loo -a son who perfora--pads aad aaoey to fame and dlgoi- ' "!" Mo Great* For Him. "When Greece ber knee* 0 recce ber shouted bis teacher. "Go ana etody your ' piece." Neither b there occasioo to greats y«r hair. Parkert Hair Balaam is all i Ut* derMttng yau jremt- 'TVaAorea ths ori- ■. gJLwt ^ gaud ftwtkesealpr ptnseas i ! Tbe Ber. Ms - iieun I* a minister in Oooejis, puhably; a My prrecrer

Our babies -With all tbeir fanlts Wc ' love them still, not noisy, t A diaobedknt llukgirt, being toW by i her mother that it was aeooemary that lbs ' t should be whipped. sauL "Well, mi then I I luppaee J must; bat tool you fire me ' the chloroform first! "Is this jour dog!" "No: be belongs to Squire Smith. And between you End me. he's deal smarter thu his owner. "Yet; there are dogs of that sort. Have bad several myself."— Harper's Bator, A dear old gentleman, tbe father of s i family, no being asked which waa favorite among hit children, iunoceotl replied; "I never fa*duy favorites them. Bot If I bad had, Ibey would been John and Mary."— Harper'! Bisl is a limited motiarch j- .Johnny!" my idea of a limited monarehy e Use ruler dou'i hare much ta tuk." un- see! Well, if you area hoeain1 yourself instance. Foxlers QatrlU. Il must make a clergyman feel complimented after delivering a aermoc u baur see a threedooh report of it In the paper next day, preceded by the arords, "Tbe 'eubetue* of Rev. Mr. Texoal'a eeemon k given below."— Hosfos Tranterpl. "Johny," said the teacher, '"a He cu be acted as well as told. Now il your were to put sand ia hit sugar ud sell it, be would be ncti« a Ik and doing wnxig." "Thau what mother told said Johnny, Impetuously and be said be didn't care. "-Hast. Mrs. Shoddy, to shopman: Show me a thermometer, one of your beat." Shopmen: "This, ma'am, U ooe of our finest— Yenetiu glass and tbe beet of quicksilver." Shoddy.;. "Silver! That would be nice tbe kitchlng, but I want ooe for my boodore. Haven't you one with quick goldr "Subscriber' asks, "b it proper oc be. [ag introduced to u editor, to Invite him to drink, and would K be a breach of etiquette oc his pert to decline tbe Invitation'-'" As regards yon Bret proposition It would eminently proper, ud a law should be enacted making it compulsory. Your question it rather a carious one. No, would Dot be a breach of etiquette, wookl be a mireck.-Roch*M*r Pot A shabbily dressed women called upon ooaof our citiiaai for aid, claiming that she was ia a starving condition. The citixen looked upon ber plethoric form, estimating tbe avoirdupois of lbs toper, flqons ftt, ud answered, "You don' t look like ■ nerving woman " "I know loos liar s sisrving woman. "t snow

. it, ' tbe willingly uiwrred.'T am bloated , with grief."— Hartford Tftam. , Once upon a time women died; and as the mourners were carrying ber to the . grave Ibey tripped against the slump and ' been oolytn aYAnoC' Two ' j*M"Dt»T tbe really died, and at they were oarrying , her down tbe same road aad Beared tbe , tobed. "Steady, boy.; eteady there. Be ^ wry earefol!" — Qwir, ! Th* romulic experience of Miss Beech, tbe Bethel yoong lady who wrote ber , name oo tbe land of a bat aod finally , whose hands It fell, has htd an unexpected sequel. Of course tbe other girls in . th* bat shop did Ihe tame thing, and now , a wseteea firm lias refuted a consignment of bale seal to their order because ao muy of Ihem have young women's names [ written inside tbe hand." Cesser's mistake-.— "Boss, will you tell me haw to makeroot beer.eaked a oaioccd mu at a dkrk la • drag state, a day or two ago. "Yea, I will, lake a bickmy atlck, > these EaUoaa of water, an old hat, a quart I of moHeaaes, i paper of Uckt and egoand ■ of aaynoe pepper.and boil aad skim dad » set 1a a real piaca." "fiqy dat ag^. bass, e ao lew tllaramember." Tho clerk reprated the dtreoliaaa aod^ecMtomer r brought hlx fist down onlbeoounlet with c the exclamation; "1 seee-wbot I spiled c my Tsbll batch? I (eft oul da tacks.'"- . V*. - Be wss smoking a fuli-tlt raced Havana ' whan be met hk friend. "Hare a agar!" be Inquired politely. "Thank*," mid the ether, eraletaUy, ud lighting Ihe proffered weed. After a few experimental puffs, however, the friend removed tbe cigar frecn Ma Hps, and. looking at II doubtfully, aaid, with a very evident do you pay for these cigars!" "Two for a quarter," replied the original proprietor of Doth weeds, taking hi* own cigar out of his mouth ud looking at it with con•kkrehla satisfaction. "This cost me twenty caota and that fire." Tbe con erraslion languished at this point-— Funk. Wonder Among Widows.

A few days ago a prominent financier died in this cily, karlog a widow hardly d half hk age, whom be married lot apcood * Wilt some fifteen years aaoc. Al Ihe time of his second marriage he bad seaera] grown op children who, at usually » happens, were very ugry.pnd who inaisled thai his new wife bad accepted Mu uu account of bis wealth. Despite lbs 0 difference of their ages they were In sym- '' palhy and lived happily together. She ■tea, and now that be k dead baa opened d t boarding bouse, resolved to Uka care of '■ herself. Allhoogh her late husband wu o toM.»is ^^.l— Iiito-. » >- lhat he had lost hit f*rttiae In Wall street i- and that be, lad oo will home of the widow's f needs he ve urged ber Io Insist on ber legal rights, bot she stubbornly refuses in- The dead financier, who devotedly " loved her. is thought to have provided * gaueroutly for ber In his will. Bot even D if tbe riBl bad bean destroyed she would " b: roll lied to ber dower, hot she will ml- " low ne aotioc in ber behalf. r Quinine Superseded. -mmmm dlL ■ •-