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' 1 - i i ■ ■ i VOLUME m CAPE MAY CITY. HEW JERSEY, SATURDAY. OCTOBER 11. 1884. WHOLE NUMBER. 1574.

OAPB MAY CITT. XW. J. S 1 .50 a yaar in Advance. ?rtrfrt«loniI girds. j~bThwfma?T j n'nm«r awn nnn*pnn.t/tw *t i.sw | n.TfM.r nopirr store*. F. J. At rope «« r rtrt Wlr WIW Summer mm. ££ F VOVOULSS, ' ~ ATTOBNK T-AT-L A V WJnw IF mA*cntT 4-tT cmHiT cur ALTER A. BARROW8, ATTOHjfET-AT-LA W •ourrroB hhlt.V 1. J)R. J F. LEAKING ft~80N, distTrts rvre w»T IM j 4 Fts.. fpwn two* SnlP W^llI noon I Otrs *it Oorwrllnese— fiastvlarieaeieu JMCW ML •«." tftpfeETHi ATTORN1?YIA3VLAW ■nun to*. wswvuf urn fxawifpi if , j J HRRERT W. KTIMnfDR, attorneyTat-law ■oiipttok sfd v**-"t if chsfp**t. ^ JJ?. JAMES H. INGRAM, ~ " PHYSICIAN AND STjpGfpN, « (l«v s Ik> rrnion •' IHnb Ftai tm ■p BlTBEN~T()WNSENiTMPT rricKVRLAKI) , MUTUAL tlftE INfitjftANCR GO. t. n*m .1 r*p. M.r r.n n.j, fmr . \ DNIlEB FLANDERS, - CXMINSE1.LDR.AT4.AW, CAlfPFF. F. 1. ItiUflrts -pNnsR?VriitAMsi ^ ARCHITECT A 1^T> BUILDER. .« " W nt-"A Vim" W» <*?VF VI Afr J ' a B. LrrfutT . ~ ' " ; p. flinvj t: - 1 « QRGANS AND SEWING MA- ■ b. f. horner. . — THBria pi <m M«ss?EraG MBE ■wtlingroF. F j. - 3S"1 r** ** fywS W'GRACK,"' PRACTICAL- BUILDER, JEWING MACHINE gjj^g^wSl tBSSt %ilri£S 11 ■HM ' J I>. OUIG. IHI| I. ix> GAK&tSfcPB 8TATH1ERT, ASH STORE YABffiTT *B' V >?!b. nSit *rctmi^ bh *u! ■ .otroi* WHiMTmU. CHEAP UBKAigW. ■ikutt-** mwmmid of JJKNBY harris, general upholsterer,

, | ' JRflW l**? to. IBrrrlunts. 1 1 JJ SCHELLENGER, I" "a3 "-Si Tr~ ~ 6rkkf crxsx. cap* mat OOl'A'l !. GROIES PRCMSIOKS ■ JfJHOM^ERBICSON'S > ^ j f*w ptcji* at awanc came. r groceries!" provisions, i drt ooodtl tkimminoa, kot10fb lais' i fientek rnnttfef f est j at irtvr*rr rmm* >itk caff "•in Hi* JOHN M. BTO8ELL, oriul dba 1411 ik DRY GOODS, GROCERIES, foot*. * ikies aft) notions. FLOTIH AND FEED, PAT*F* .MBniCIFBK. PORK, LARD. HAMS. SEEDS. 4c. OoM Sprtn*. Op. ».t Ob_ F. 1. C. PRIcfeFsTOBES. FA "WWTn.r.Wm? w-T GBOCERIES, JHT GOODS ill BUMS, oils. tabfikbpl nkastlj1 pcttt. NO. *? pbbft sthkft, FEED STORE. cob*. oats. hat. bb af aft) mill f*bi> WOOD YARD. "mt tr * r,i"t p1*t ao .1^. Wslrrial. JEREMIAH B. RCHELLENGKIPS LUMBER YARD ™ "" mass* plaftbbifo lath. HFTFOI.BS OP AIL fT*TW PI/FIBIFO. PBAMK FTTPP, PlCBn*. «»y1hi1*h» pbomptlt mlbn i. b. penbujpin** BUILDING MATERIALS. MILL WORK DEPARTMENT Pine Lumber. Siding. 4c. fm. ip «m- m FViWr«n.wMr* p»r* n. wrwpi imrmww fob pioofco. fc.. AFTl SniFRLK* Hockland Lima. Hair, Hardware and Paint*. KIMBALL. PRINCE & CO.. £eal, Wood. Ihnt. rtr. 'lOAL AND WOOD. J ■ . — — A OOAL AND WOOD YARD lkbiob aao. "toy* afd chkbtni't pink. oas and uh kop.t wood. J^ S. CURTIS, PRACTICAL PLUMBER, fiAS AND STEAM FITTER, \MO-1I Daw »ml (Mpt M.T <34] . Gas. Water and Steam Pipes, Cli« nical Work A Lead Burning TERRA COTTA DRAINAGE Cxp* Ma* ' j^ ATENTS | - 1W

yrdial. A Great Problem. — Takt all the Kldoer and I,iv« JMfaMa. —Take all the Blood pari firm, —Take all lb? RKnrmaiic reaudl?*, as —Take all Ihc Dgrpopda and lndl*?«lun 1 eurm, _ —Take all the A got. Fever and tallioae A, fMifitO. - Take all lb? Brain and Nerve force rcmeera, - T«k? all lb? Grral brallh reworee. —Is « hart, lake all ibe tea! qualiiiee of ' g all lb?*, and the -Uot 1 ' taUtta of afl lb? beat medidom to , Ibe «ortd. and jroa will Bod Uul —Hop g» —Bitten bare Ibe beat carat Ire qoalitiea and power? of all —Cmorntraled •v —Jo tbetn, and that Ibtpeevlll jcart j tt. *beo any or all of ibeae, elnjly or— arm- . - Umd - Fall. A tboroagh trial rrlU five poa- . iure prnof of Uila . Hardrnnl Liver. ' ' Five yrare a*c 1 broke down with kid- 1 ■try and Liver complaint and rbrtuoat lam. , Since the. I' have been unable to be 1 '• about at all. My livrr Ueame baid like 1 Find; uyllmba were puffed up and filled 1 All tie- beat pbyridana agreed that " within* eouht cure me. I reaotred to try H.ip Bflterv; I Ii.rr need terra hnttlcf- f - the hardncae hav all ipine frnut my liver. , a welling fmm my limba, and it I, a. w <wk , od a miraeU In my caae ; otherwiae 1 would have nnw here In my grave. J. c S, W. Mokzt. Buffalo, Oct. 1, 1881. a Powrlj and tuHerieg. "I wa" dragged Aiwn with debt, pover- 1 I wa« completely diicou raged till one p year ago. by the advice of my paator, I , enmmenord ntiog Bnp'BiUeri, and in one 1 mouth we were all well, and none of o? a a have tees a aid, day atnoe. and I leant to amy to all poor men, yr« out keep your (gwlHra well a yewr with Bop Bitten tor kaa than am doctor'? virit trill ooat. 1 " know h."— A Wockikomak. * ^ Wibt Ljttfftfflte ; ' CKM '"IPO" w«» prayer and wnreetji oe waer b to* lira and kow lamuteiy. on eottu* Ufa ma nog bwseir again axle by adv wlta U? lofatit.- h rmurfc. Sir *. Bttlwer Lyuon, la bla "btnngr » ewum ----- „,e " brte*. or Ufj tai m.n; htak and awlQ] roar in wiuk and dvaolauoa. intrr ano ^ ■obd rooai auut Be sakmten nvaratk. and s annua an and akdl mot m and toMiriur n NrlUer ua cniid-a trniarni 'Oor Pataet," nor rr '■ mtnr tne imdt? aF w3 "dier" IV » nf IbaHXtref - — wrke OTdir or "n-aren ttaetr. DlvlBllykMl? " ■ f ■Ttt ItrrS omtOrm and donra weakeaed? Too tl : : * otapoaen Wkat ma fAHgm Teanc will j kryMmd^7muwlarmarikab?1d|r?orire d SALICyUCA.^ J Tn«^ oe^i naae^rBerbd rgnodr- ^Nerw ?l It expel? tar praaonou Trie Add mm 01? * • Worel. whlea I? the prime can?? of Rr.eemvUem. n Oootaad Nearaleta.— A? a ohnd pnrikar b baa u THE OLD RELIABLE SPECIFIC ■ » ENDORSED BY PHT81CIAN8 AND '< m TH0CSAND8 OF PATIENTS ao equal. Avmgrn eoomrme-naa prteddja a POSITIVELY CURES < EmS/'i aSwtlwl'swato'JaS'Sw?' tooabr s RheumatisM • - Gout, neuralgia ' ' SKJiSS?ssSri ' GRAVEL. DIABETES ; "s^POt'lWbHOXHBKIHIB. ' Blood poisokinG ' I sisxs&zsrjxszziii I cw receipt or Ixtoa | vr A*HBCKF* A 00. FBOI-a, mvM*tr earbmadwaj.HvwTtwk. ' _ For ante try B. A. Ceamedy, M. D. an-t Mar.-? A I ® Matxaj. iwjw Mar CUJ. ■> Q — — ! Catarrh fiay Fever E ^Sratfi flTSfilJiK

Conquering a Husband. "Uncle PhD baa been leetoring me again!" exclaimed Mr*. Marian Dyke?, a* her btaaband oami b-rrne to tea ©oe evening. "I cannot, and will not Hand , it any louger and the young wife drop. pad into a cbalr aa though Ibe Uul rei maining port too of bar etrength had left her. "What waa the aatrject of Ibe lecture, my dear?" Inquired Mr. Dykra. with a . cheerful amile, as tboughjie did ix* regard the situation as at all dewperate. "You ktxnr very well that Uncle Phil but ooe subject. " "And that la extravagance, or the reverae. economy." added Mr. Dykea. "Of oouree that waa tbe aubject ol the and you always take hu aide of tbc question. Uncle Phil has ten timet aa much Infiuenoe with you aa I have. be aaya is right, and whatever I say U wrocg," retorted Mrs. Dykea ralber warmly. "If supper li ready. I think we had attend to tbal next; and we Mball tbe whole evening to disease Uncle lecture. Tbc subject will keep for awhile." "But Uorle Phil will be beta to take pari in tbe dlscryaiiin; and that la just what I doe't want. He overshadows me entirely when be says anything, and I might as srell bold my tongue as speak," said tire WTte. "Untie Phil will w* be here, Marian. It is half-past six, and be has to go to a church meeting at seven." "Very well, but I am going to have something done this ltne. 1 won't have Phil here any longer. If be is to stay in this bouse I shall not." Mra. Dykes was very young and her angry pout, aa abe aailed out of tire torn made her look decidedly pretty; at least thought ber husband. But before lire waa fairly out, Ibe door opened and U octe Phil came in. Tbe door was ajar , and he moat have been In the ball daring some portion of the lady's severe remarks about him. But be looked as placid as j though earth bad oo aorrnw far biro. He . wa* a man of fifty, though his batr and beard were white enough for eeveoty. He did nor teem like a man wbn could very dtsaerrvahle If be tried. He bad draomlah took ab'Ut bla face, that of a , serious though not austere man. Certainly not one would have taken bim for : a shipmaster, bat he be had spent most of ; bis life a! sea or In foreign porta. He naed to read tbe bible to bit crew every ; sLd never allow any swearing or i other had language in his presence on | hoard ship. Though he was a "psalmsitgipg skipper." no captain was erer , more popular with bis men thsn Osplain i Code Phil bad been married amo -- life, but hie wife died when be was absent no a long voyage. Be bed recently , given np tbe sea, and retired to bis native . town, now an Important place of tee ; inhabitants. He found bimaelf stranger tbere, but, at bla own requeat bis nephew bad taken bim as s boarder. The gossips are not a little bptbered to , determine whether tbe retired shipmaster wax rich or poor. He engaged in every ; church and Benevolent enterprise, and , contributed moderately of Us means. Cbsriea Dykes bad opened a More la , Triple ton a year before, and rverbody ] thought be was doing welL Mrs. Dykes ; thought so, though Cbsriea bimaelf Insisted that be was not making money , rapidly; be could not tell bow , much until he balanced hit books and ; look aooaunt of stock. In Ibe main be , was disposed to be so. , Uncle Phil made a hasty supper and , then went to his meeting. He -acted just j little strangely for bim, though the ; smile had oot deserted bla face He aaiu Iraa than usual, and seemed to be thinking very earoratly about aomothing you suppore be heard what 1 said, , Charles?" asked Mr* Dykea after Unci? , Ph* bad gone. "I tblak not; but •jrm ought n * to say anything behind bis back you would not aay t£his face," replied tbe busban "Unde Pbtl Isa good maa,ooe of tbe salt of tbe earth." "II? Is altogether too salt for me. If 1 sflbukl put too ranch salt la tbe dough- . nuts, you would oot like tbem. Uncle ( Is sailer than I/*1* wife. "I am sorry yon dout like htm, Mir. "I cast like a man who is continually tripping me up, and kcluring me wpoa ' You ought to know better than be does what you can afford." "I am sure nothing but hit interest in us prompts bin to aay anything. If ooe tnrans well almost anything can be ex"Whes I said that I wished you would keep a bona ao I could 1 ride out every day ac two, be saad-saaa lecture half aa in tragi h. Whether be beard me or not, I said just wnat I meant. Yoa moat get bim out of tbe basse In eomr way. Charles. Take your clerk to board and tell your uncle we moat have tbe "If I tdl him to go. I shall tell tbc reason why I do an." "I am willing to bear all tbe blame. I dooX want any one la tbe bouse to come between me and my fcosbend," said the : lady with a deal of spirit. "Unde Phil does not come between ! you and me. Marian. Thai is aoautd..' "I have asked yoa, and eves begged ; . you a dcard limes to kesp a bone. ! Unde Phil takes sides with you sgaiost "But be never said bone to me In his ' life. 1 cant afford to keep a borae." ■ "Yea. yon can, Cbsriea. Tber aay . you'are tiring mere bnelneaa than Tink- , bam and be keeps two fine bam* and ! ;i£!B»KSSrSK.t!

Cbsriea Dykes had fjromlaed to buy a horse and buggy. • It appeared to be the only way in which be could induce his * wife to allow Code Phil to remxin In the '■ house. Doubtless be was weak to yield * tbe point against Lie own Judgement. d In Ike evening Squire Graves made a »- friendly calL Mrs. Dfkes was very glad | =- to see him, for be had a lady's horse la ! ■t sell. It was just tbe animal she wanted i and as tbe had conquered ber husband ' once that day, she intended to have tbe - • borer trade settled that evening. " "Glad to see you. squire; anything! ^ new?" the young merchant began, doing 'There la news, but I suppose you hire heard it," replied tbe visitor. "I haven't beard anything; what is 0 it?" ' "Hsveu't you beard that Tinkbam has • been attached ? ' "Tinkbam! Is It poasiblr r exclaimed r Mr. Dykea, glancing at bis wife. • "It's a faaft; a keeper was put tntotais store this afternoon, and aa attachment ' put oo his bones and carriages." 1 "That uaa because he kept two bones 5 when ooe was enough far him," interposed ' Mrs. Dykea. With her moral between two horses and 1 Before tbe squire left be had sold bit ' lady's bone. Mrs. Dykes was perfectly , ' happy, and ber heart begin to warm toward Cod- Phil. Wbcn the retired riiip- | master came in from the Ducting, there , • were a doxen things she aranttd to do for , 1 his oomluri. Tbc lady bad beaten ber , bushand and bis ancle and she was satis- , > Bed. > Before break fast the next morning , > Squire Graves' man led tbc bone over and ( put bim in tbe little stable. One of tbe , ' rlerks was to take care of bim. Unde ' Phil, saw tbe purchase, but bo said notbt log unpleasant. He looked tbe animal ] 1 over, said be was worth tbe bandied dob , I lsre to be psld foCblm in goods from tbe | store. Marian even thought she liked , i Uncle Phil then. He did not prophesy , 1 *°y or ditastcr. , 1 I After breakfast tbc lady thought she ! would drive over to ber lather's in tbe 1 next town. 8be returned in season for dinner. ' But Uncle Phil did not cone down to . ' thai meal Tbe lady rang the bell the , > second time but with no better result. , Uncle Phil did not evidently bear tbe bdl, for ibe never kept ibe table waiting fur t ! bim. Tbe door was wide open and she ( ' weol in. The shipmaster was nut there. ( trunk was Dot there, tbe picture of , the Seabird, in which be bad sailed many | 1 a voyage, bad been taken from the walL , Was U possible tb^JJncie Phil bad ( gone without even aaying goot-bye to | tbem ? Tbexe waa a letter on tbe table - . Djxaa.-frwtW-YAfer-nr' rMrnriih rite ( hastened down to tbe dining-room. To , that abe waa aatcoMled and chagrined, would not half express ber fcel- ! »"«*• 1 "Uncle Phil has gone 1" abe exdalned. , "He has left tor good, bag and baggage." ( She loaaed tbe letter upon tbe table, for | 1 abe had not lbs courage to open it- j "Then i suppose yoa are quite saxiafled, You bare got tbe borae, and got j rid of Uncle Phil," said Mr. Dykea. , greatly grieved to learn that ibe worthy , had gooe ; and be saw that be must , beard tbe Impulsive words of Mrs. 1 tbe evenlag before. ( Mrs. Dykes dropped Into ber cbalr at , tbc table; and buret Into tears. Just as | sbe bad been reconciled to tbe boarder, be bad fied without even a word of ex plana- ( lion. She inter, ded to treat Mm with tbe utmost kindocaa and onoxi deration, aa a , noble warrior treats a fallen foe. Just ( 1 then sbe felt as though abe would be will- ( to lose the borae to regain Uncle . PhlL , 1 Charles opened tbe letter. It was very , short, but there waa dm a particle of bit- , let ocas in iL He ebunid still pray lot , them, and desired to do all be could Ic . aarire and make tbem happy. | | "1 will go to him and beg bim to come , 1 Lack, husband!" exclaimed tbe weeping j 1 wift "You win never forgive mc." , "I am very sorry be has gone, but 1 ( • will not bale you, Marian. We will call ( upon him this evening at the hotel." ' They did oa]L Uncle Phil sras exactly - the same as be bad been before. He was . glad to she tbem, sod tbere sraa at* a ( parotide t>f change In bla tooe or manner. ( ■ Both Char Ire and bis wife tried to say . nxnething about bis leaving their bouse, , but be beaded than off every time. He 1 would not permit tbe metier to be menr tiooed. Tbey went borne, unable even to , get iaaa apology. 1 Both of tbem missed tbe kindly words ! and wholesome whricc of Ibe good man, - though Mra. Dykea would not acknowledge It. His good Infiuenoe upon both 1 was Int. EreoCharlea became reckless fc Tbecloaeof Thtkbem's -etorw brought < more bus lores to tbe young merchant fry ■ a time, though tbe bankrupt's successor L soon made things exriting (or bim. A i rulnota com petition followed. No longer e rcstrslnod by Uncle Phil's pendent couof Is, Charles blanched out. and grasped e oaore than be oould porelbly handle. A^the cod of the year tbe balance sheet was not pleasing to look upon. Then fole lowed a reckless attempt to reoover lost e eround. Nam at tbe Tripleton Bank be- . came very troublesome. One of tbrm n j wu given for a new piano. People said | Dykea sras bring loo fast. Tbe young d . merchant wu worried. He bad yielded t , u> one extravagance, and there wu a long * | train behind iL His next balance sheet showed that be * ana three tbonund dollars in debt, and ! bis stock wee oot worth half tbe sum. He * uw that be must feiV After sapper, one L~ evening, be told bis wits all about iL It * : would be a terrible huniiliadoo to faD. u " 1 "rink ban. had; and Marian wept u tbongb " her heart would break. ■"! la tbemkM of the scene Cools PbU walked into the nrrea. v si war, did. ial2£V^e%uM,aa

s lavs that falls doe uvrnorTow," said Chas. e bitterly, what bc'uw that be oould not s conceal tbe facts from the good man." e "How much do yon owe In all. Char. I fcar asked Uncle Phil. . *° AWil three tboosaod dollars," s groaned Charles. f i "Will three tbonund put you at) yoar. s feet, aolidv.L!bsrlti?" I "Yea, sir, but I cant raise three hunI I dred." sj "I will glre you t check for three tbou. I sand dollars io tbe morning. I will be fj down at the store at eight o'clock. I ? noticed that you looked worried lately, but you said nothing to me." 1 "I could not say anything to you, uncle; and I cannot tike yoor money, after ■ what has happened." "Nothing has happened yet, and with 1 the blessing of God, nothing shall happen. " ' Uncle PbU would not understand him. "You may help mc on one condition," 1 addgd^ Charles after some discussion. 1 "And that is yon will come hack and live 1 Marian joined In insisting oo thia ooo1 dition, and ibe good man yielded. He used no reproaches: he would not even ■ 1 say, "1 toM you to." Tbe note wu paid the next day, and in the evening Uncle 1 Phil wu domiciled in his old quarters, quite u happy at the young people. Cbsriea 41d the lady's borse,tbs buggy, ■ the pisDO, and other extras, and reduood | ' all his expenses to a very reasonable fig- , ure. Marian wu happy again, and did ! w* believe tbere wu any loo much salt ! about Uncle PhlL She bad given np toe ! business of conquering a busbaDd. In fact, both of them have come to believe j that neither should conquer. or try to conquer the other. After awhile it came out that Uncle ' ' Phil wu worth at least fifty tbonund dol1 Doubtless the church and tbe mis- , aions will get some of It; but It is probable ! ' that Charles Dykes will be remembered, 1 though both be and his wife sincerely bopc that the good man will live till he Is a | Nsmes of Oenorals. 1 From an article hy George F. Williams, , the well-known war correspondent, on I "Lights and Bbadnwa of Army Life," in . tbe October Century, we quote tbe fa). . lowing : - , "Every general of prominence bad a nickname bestowed upon bim by his , Some of ibeae names were of a f , sarcastic namre, but usually tbey Indies- , ted tbe confidence of the men in their ( or their admiration for tbem. ( General Grant wu commonly known ( over tbe watch-fires In tbe Army of tbe t as "Old United States,' from Ufc , initials of bis name, but sometimes be was ( dicating h^ rank u lieutenant general. | 1 endeared to bis army u , 'Little Mac.' , Meade, who wore spectacles wu dp- , lighted to learn tbal tbe soldiers hsd ( named bim 'Four-eyed George," few be f knew it wu not intended u a reproach. , Burnside, the colonel of tbe First Rhode ( regiment, rose to the dignity of f 'Rhody' when be became a general. , never liked tbe sobriquet of t 'Figbllng Joe.' though he always lived up ( to It during bis oreer in the field. Prg* ^ WU saddled with ibe little of 'Haddle-bag , John.' In memory of hi? . famous order , about headqt tart eve being oo horeeback. , His men use to ray that his headquarters , 1 moved prettily rapidly at times Bigel. , khc Gr-mian grneral. was known In tbe , other corps u 'Dutcby.' , Hancock won the brevet of 'Superb,' | a remark made by General Meade at | when the Second Corps re- ( pulsed Longstreefs men. Humphrey, being a distinguished engineer, wu iDvari- , ably styled -Old Mathematics" Tbe , Reserves used to call Crew'Physios' be beings surgeon at the J ginning of his military career. Ixigan, ( with his long black bair and dark com- ( plexion, wu 'Blank Jack' with his men. ( bhrridan. the calvary leader, wu 'Little ( Phil.' and Sherman's troops spoke ot him "Old Tecomseh!" The sterling nature ( and stead! sal puipnae of YXinmu earned for htm the significant and familiar name J •Old Reliable.' AVxander McOriwetl McOook.' The 1 New York City regiments hi tbe Fifth ( Corps changed Bykes to *8yk»ey.' Halwu derisively nicknamed 'Old t and Roaecrens bad kls name ( shortened to 'Roaey.' Lew WslBoe wu : H/xtiu' to tbe wildlere under his command; he wu a 'great favorite far his , 1 fighting qualities. sod tbe soldiers adopted tbal inappropriate name for want of a brt1 ter. Kearney, wbn had left an arm in Mexico, wu invariably knows the ranks u •One-armed Phil. Boiler wu styled 1 "Oodteye,' for obvious reasons. Ktlpat- ' rick wu nicknamed 'E.11L* while Custer wu (filled 'Ringlets' on account of his 1 long, flowfcgchrh; sbd sd'tbe catalogue r might he prolonged indefinitely. ' "Among tbe Confederates - familiar ' tha Federals. Tbe soldiers of the Army ' of Northern Virginia usually spoke of 1 General Lae as 'Bob Lee.' little Ms hone r^ best known u "fikle and Bone.' 1 Early was relied -Bad Old Man,' and - Jacks**! will five In Itl***" 'Btoooa Very Like Ono. i *cuoa BwSgvt. c Uusbsoo — 1> looks like rain my dear. J Deo't yo« think wa bad beonr take an g umbrella? Wile — Oh, no we doot wut* to bo e botberea with It. d Htwbaod— Yon take great chancre my I Wife— I know I do. If I wore a man It would be a bold speculator I would „ oevev be content, likeyoe, todoanordlauy, humdrum breineu lb* would jot bring me a living. „ [An bndr latar. tbe eoeple standing hi a , narrow doorway with the rain bearing U O-rertT »« ] WU*— Huw do I ktookl i- j|gir«W*MlBIIHI

u The Milwaukee Bed Boy. * Fresa raersBsa. "Say, what kind of mm [way yon keeping naw-a-dsys," asked tbc grooeryman of „ the bad boy as be leaned against a hitching post outside the grocery, looking at some melons and woodering if It wouldat r lie just bis luck to find out that tbe ripest looking one wu erven when |be got it out id tbe alley. "I saw yon Sunday nooo with one of tbe hardest looking boys in _ town, ooe of thou newsboys, and 1 peej same you were going fishing. 1 Mil yoa . stieb on«n parry will ruin you!" "O, I guess not," said tha boy, aa be took bis jack knife and plugged a mrioa. ] tasted of tbe red end of the plog end pet It back. That wu my premium 8unday school scholar." "Premium Sunday school scholar," exclaimed tbe giuueiyutsu, as be turned the melon over so the ping wouldn't T«tow. ~ and charged Ibe melon to tbe bad boy's father. "Well be wu tbe worst looking ' scholar I ever uw. What did you do with e bint? Put him in a eager" "No, be ia at large yet. You see my teacher gives a premium for new acholr are. and I captured tbe one you uw ma I with, but he liked to broke up tbe school. He is one of these boys that waul talk like c other people. I por.nl him about the lea- ' son, which wu about the oldest man. and tbe strongest man. and the meekest mas, ' and about tbe prodigal son, and all that, I and I thought he would be an ornament " I to our class, but tbe teacher couldn't keep " from laughing. Sbe asked him who wu 1 tbe strongest man, and I had told bim it e wu Samson, and tbe darn fool said it wu 1 John Sullivan, and when the teacher said ' Samson wu tbs strongest man, he wapted to bet ber that Sullivan could knock Samson out In three rounds. Marquis of ' Qoeenibury rules. I wu never so mortified In my life, and I hmcbfd tbe boy and told him tbe teacbrr wu right, and be c hauled off and wu going to hit me right ' tbere. Dear me, I wished I bad never c got bim to go with me. Toe teacher told shout tbe prodigal too. and then asked my scholar what mads tbs prodigal son go amy from borne, and be answered that the prodigal son had a stepmother, and his ' father basted bim with a font O. my, bow 1 I felt. Then abe asked tbe hoy what tbe 1 prodigal son's fetber did when be came ~ and I whispered to the boy thai be fell upon his neck and klseed bim, and be 1 said 'Jumped on bis neck and chewed 1 Tbe teacher felt arrfully, but sbe 1 said tbe answer wu not correct, and for tbe boy to gores again, and I whispered r tbe boy, 'be fell oo hie nock.' What do you think that fool boy answered?" He ' said to the teacher. -O. I know. The old ' man slipped on a banana peel and fell oo tbe back ot bis neck.' I thought tbe ' . . i et no ?Femlom on each a recruit u that. 1 the said be would pall through all ' right. Sbe asked him wbo tbe oldest man ' wu. and be answered it all right, 'Ma1 thusrlah.' bnt when she uked bim bow old Methuselah wu he bad to get in some slrng. He uld be wu a regular old timer > ; away back, a General Jackson demo- | erst. Tbe teacher said that tbe boy must . not mention politics io Bnndsy school, and , then be wu mad again, and because I told i ' to be good be pinched my kg till it ' 1 black and blue. Tbe teacher asked , : the boy wbo wu the meekest nun, and I . whispered to Ore boy that It wu Moses, ^ and be said right out load 'Mcwe.' The 1 teacher than asked him what made Moees meek, and be said, 'reuse Moae didn't 1 no sand !' Tbe teacher asked bim what be meant by Moses not baring any sand, end beuld, 'Why, gall, of course. 1 dtda't have gaM enough to ga his hack aad wall up people!' Tbe teacher get pale In tbe face, and reld Ibe boy wu the wont sbe ever sew. Sbe uked him why Jot. afflloted sritb bo«e, and be aald -canac Job'sHveT was out of order and dtdo'l lake ' no pills.' "H* teacher wu dlaguated and said are ooold be exeneed. Wben wa gat " outdoors. I told the boy be had dlureoed me and tbe Sunday school, and I wu : Uh'nmed of Wm. and then be hit me on 1 tbe neck arlth some sand be tad tied up In a stocking, and yelled -fight: fight." and run amy, and when the people name out ! of cborch. thinking somebody bad yelled •fire!' tbey found me with my ooee bleed- ■ Ing. and laid all tbe fom to me. Well, 1 that settles IL I don't by to coo vert no ' more home-made heathens. Hereafter I 1 will give my money to tbe baatben across " tbe ocean, where yoa don't get uhemed ' of your converts, and get slugged Ih tbe ( neck. Give me that melon you charged 5 10 "AU right, take your old melon. It to green, anyway," said tbe grooeryman. ° "Bnt what to yoor pa doing now? I see ' him oo tbe enroere talking a good deal. and smoking cigars, and be seems to have ; moony, but I Devcr are him doing any- ' thing." c "Well, ps is oooutxirwm," said lbs had boy. 'This war* be to a dtoattofied r working man, 1 think be told ma, and to b around telling people that his candidate for president Thu g-* to be elected a tbe . rouotry to mined. Ink week be wu organising a dub to carry torches, and tbe . next-week be has an engagement to poae s at a laborer ruined by tariff crwxnatbing. k It don't make much difference in pa which party be works for each week u langu be gets his salary and cigus, bothie asms are all rnutmag and be oomplainscf overwork. Ma saya If there wu ooe or tyro r. more political parttre far pa to join It o would kill him. Whendectiaolsoearpa ought to get an oOoc from ooe parly or tbe „ but be deal know which will win, so be y to overwork any man. But I goon be will pull through. If Ibe different partle. do oot got to setting up to much beer. It Id Is a trying lima far a pottrician, tbs last month of a campaign, and I expert pa's st head will begin to enlarge abort Ortobcx," and tbe bad boy lock his melon under bis arm and want sway. "They're thrown me overboard— tbalV zoagbt- tbe poilriden criaL " ButttOl or Pre got arrogtbenoqgk to swim to lbs

Curious Notions' By the Borons tbe mono to called tbe k creator if tbe earth end tb* grandmother g of the aun. In tbe myths of Ottawu it to . an old woman with a pleasant white fare j —the sister of tbe dsy star. Tbe CMqottna j call tbe mono their mother, and tbe Seve5 Joe make It a rider on a mute. t Where the planets are worshiped, pteu fereore in hoorei is : generally scc.HtGd B to tbe brighter and nxve C'Dsolcuous star t of Ibe day. Breocodos of Braid gi»e the 3 higher place la the moon and dartre moat of the phenomena of nature from K. and a In Central America and Raytl are also people wba bald tbc mooo in no less t boo or. r Curiously three people find their ooum terpart* amoogjrlbesjof W astern, Boothern . and Central Africa, who rejoice with ? dancing aad feasts at each appearance of the waw moon, and expect an improre- , roent of thelt cond Itlnn from Its heoeflcrnl ; Influence, and they are not ao far remored t, from tbe eu pent Wool wnmeo of rteiltxed Europe sod American wbo watt for tbe . dwelling, to cot their hair, to be married, e and to baptise their children. A belief existed among the aoclest e Mexicans and Peru elans, the Natchez of . the Mississippi, and tbe Apalachlans of i Florida, that the can was tie radient abode of dead chiefs and braers. , To tbe Esquimaux of Lahradoe belongs t tbe honor of ha ring discovered tbal the P mooo wu the paradise for the good, while i tbe wicked were consigned to a bole In t tbe earth; although aome of tbe South s American Indiana and the Pnlynrelaaa of I T ok elan may be nearly abreast of them In ] the competition. | Tha An* Statesmen Breathe, In the hue of tbe Capitol at Washing, j ton lathe enginery by which tbe House, F the Senate and the committee rooms are , warmed sod ventilated, and the gu lightr ed by electricity. It Is altogether a big j apparatus, consisting of three immense f fane, four engines and eight hollers, with 0 tbe necessary appliance for regulating the , temperature aad moisture of the air supt plied fa tbe nation's legislators. The in- . strument which tells whether the sir Is too . motet or too dry to operated by siegic hu- , man heir. A perfectly dry air Is pal at 0; . ulorated air. tbal to air carrying all tbe . moisture it will bold, is pat at 100. j A dial with a hand like that of a clock t represents tbc different degrees from 0 to r 100. Tbe human bair abaorbs moisture ( like a rope, and like a rope it becomes ( shorter alien wet. Tbe difference in . length between a bair fix Inches long 1 wben wet and tbe same hair wben dry to made to represent tbe bund red degrees of , moisture on the dial, and ibe bud or too dry. more slouu i. thrown in, if loo ! moist, leas steam to allowed to escape, ud thus the atmosphere of the nation's state s- | men to regulated ud kept at the healthful . point, wblcb t? about 80 degree*. In gathering wild fiuwera, aulumiaayre - or picnicing in tbe woods, we are more . oe leas exposed to danger from poisoning from ley or other wild Tines sod ahruta. I readily absorbad by the blood, and painful I swellings or eruptions arc caused. Bucb affections Hood's Saraaporilla readily cures, u It expels all impurities from the Even in cases of putoonlog by < Paris groan. Hood's barsaparilis bu been , remarkably successful. It should be . constantly In the bouae fee all Wood disorders. Hood's Saras perrtlla to made ' by C. L Hood 4 Co., Lowell. Mala., and ■ to aold by all druggists. 100 Doses «1. ' Tbe coocril of a Ksnsas ssn to to remove tbe tombstones from his family bur. ' tod plot to tbe roof of bla bouse, where ' tbey stand In a row of seven aloog the , ridgepole. ' Nwver Give Up. ' If yon are (offering with low ud de- : preaaed spirits lam of appetite, general deI bility, disordered blood, week ooostllolton, t beadaeba, or sty disease of a bilious , nature, by all meua procare a bottle of Electric Bittera. You will be turpriaed to 1 at* tbe rapid Improvement that will foli low ; you will be inspired with new life ; , strength and activity will return ; pain , and misery will oeass, and henceforth you will rejwloe in the praise of Electric I Hitters. Sold at fifty oeotaa bottle by i Dr. Kennedy. («) A tingle flower was the cause or war ' between Montezuma and Malmally, lad ' of tbe Mixtecs, lo 1507, If we may be1 Here the Aztec trtdKioox. ) Bucklwn'a Arnica Salvo. The Beat Salve in the world fur Outa, 1 Bruises, Bores, Ulcers. Salt Rheum, Fever Bona, letter. Chapped Hands, Chilblains. Corns, and all Skin Eruptions, ud positively cures Pile*, ar no pay required. It to guaranteed lo give perfect aatiiface tion, or money refunded. Prioe 25 oenU gtr^hctx. For Sale by Dr. Kennedy Tha Salvation Army claims that its colore to flying in nideteeo countries, and I that it prints eighteen journals In six difs "I was mart dead wttb heart difficulty e nan dow do a good d*ya work, and sin- . cert 1 y recommend Dr. Graves' Heart Regulator as the remedy.— Geo Gladding " Hartagrore, O." $1. per bottle at your ' drug aura. ' Tbe law of the barvert to to reap more j" than you sow. Sow u art and reap a habit; sow a habit and reap a character; t sow a character aad reap a darthiy. I SSsS'i * sump. Welir, Jbchardaon 4 On, Bur- • UhfiVrttVL *■ A Norriatown man Us a cook ao pretty f yfwt faadnatlog that tbe flat day be em- - " ployed ber the "mashed" his potatoes. The next day Mm "ianlnrt" Ma ton. If you wul to make those cattle fat, ■ sfessrssiffi'ss ^ times s day. and keep tbem out of the weather. Pita *Q nests a pound pack-t-,1 Wives are pti atmtpllrsM Ofrtarea. 31 ! Tbry are always asking for a lock of their