[?]

VOLUME XXX. ^ CAPE HAY CITY. NEW JERSEY, SATURDAY. OCTOBER 25.1884. WHOLE NUMBER. 1576. r=r . T

OA.PE LA AY Ol l'Y. JM- J. 91.50 a yaar in Advance. *rofrt»ion*l £«rd«. J B. HUFFMAN. A"«lm.imrnL ^wnra*? *i>' «x a*in« w SrPHKMr. COtTfT At Oak* lUjCltT aallj (tcrlns Pistgier *»**oe pj t. dou&la88, ATTORNEYS T-LAW ■oUcttob Tv cnAitcnrr .#-*-""55* ATOrv alter a. babrowb, a t t 0 b set- a t-l a w "ure * SOLICITOR m CHAJTCBHT, Moras Sou.'. V. 7. ■qr. j. p. leaking ft boh, dehtTbtb Hrara^TtolSr" ana 8aiSrammOT " pAMEB M. E. HILPKKTH , attokhbtIat-IiAW A VP •OUCTTOB. MABTRR A TCP EXAMINER IV CIHSCBHT. ^ •pptrbert w. kdmuxd6, " ATTORN EY-AT-LAW wrpCTTOR AVP MA8TER TV CTIAVCBBT . liOwOran now. Tn •*:■*■ ul FrMa** y-)b. james h. ingram, physician and burgeon, t ■j^BUBENTOWNSEND, AGENT CCMBBBLAVD mutual febe insurance 00. : 0»MWCflK>T°TCoorinfW».V:S. 1 FLANDERS, COUNSELLOR- ATI. A*, - OAvnrv. v. j. lusiarts CTarlls. •prNOB RTWILLIAMH. ARCHITECT ANT) BUILDER PEND l>B OOVTBA0T. ^ ^ A attTW-E. A" rta^tiW NTER AND glazier. A PTFMKT, oxvbbal agent pob a. a barnes a co.. in* AlU »re«,Fhlla«etpH*. Pl'iBMll at VMr VIII II BertM Of MM boom. svsdAnceu*^ >»U. qrwanb and sewing maB. F, H Oft NCR, mmiieuKitsimiiius , .. . iwtPinlc'Vi v. i. "".gi?aagjgff,CA" "" "oi-I aosb"»**awittv>b».« ■ «WMU«|KE' ^IMM fflSffifflKlIT BBffiHI. m Washington err .-toman r« uomj ' MBt ifflfBS Y4SBH cheap uBinir MWIMO MACHINE NXKIlUte AVP OIL A ! 8PWIALTT. -jpfykey harris^ , general upholsterer, c*w*1 "una avp repaired. ■aoApvT «--APi:*«Torrr. WISEI^li^ i

<?ap* ?»a# (Co. fRrrrhants. J "PJ^BCHELLENG ER, 1. ami «J ta* oMrttare^h* the Itlf Oak Tree oo OIIEBV CHEW, CAPE VAT COrVTT. r. Where n. *~n. nt attrv faf hn~ ot GROCERIES DRY GOODS PROVISIOHS A" (Mod. ^77. ' cpUOMAB ERRICSON'S VEW FTOB* AT CREEV CREEK., r GROCERIES^ PROVISIONS, PET GOODS. TRIMMINGS. NOTIONS LafleJJt WfflrajJmJlriiiEjear , JOHN M. RUSSELL, " ' OEVKRAL DEALER* *N ' DRY GOODS, GROCERIES, BOOTH. SHOES AVP NOTIONS. I FLOUR A IV D FEED, , PATEVT MEDICINES. ' PORK, LARD. HAMS. REEDS. Ac. JO HV V. BCSSELL. ' CnM Rprtn*. Cspe MM Co- V. J. • j jy C. raiCK^BTOREsi ~ • Nn *7 PXRFY FT.. WABB MAY CrrV. , ' GSOCEffiS, DHT GOODS 81 SOTMS. ' »*tvm. noi/nt*. on* TARVIKHPI. GtteSW^ad PTTTT. feed™8tore!' CORN. OATS. BAT. BRAN AND MILL rxxi) i wood "yard. 1 WOOD CUT A VPUT. CEDAR POST AD alia. I •SBildiBi Patfrial, «tr. [ j fcRKMTAHB.SC'HKl.T.KNGKB'S YARD SrSaPanrad LaxDac. Da Mir V. J_ lmMTIR WHITE PIV*. MSI PLASTERING LATH. s SHINGLES OP A IX WW. PLOORTVO. PKAMB STOPP. PICKETS, , M« tn abort rrarr Mill at ' SW-ORDEBS PROMPTLY PILLED 'i BUILDING MATERIIiLS, AMtbst MILL WORK DEPARTMENT I d",,T* ,n ° White Pine Lumber. Siding, Ac. ^ M SfTaolACt orar tttlttj olhnv. Oor tmtip. r"'- i . •nrvw l.r««»a po* ptnoRrrn. *».. avp iarTef* i rv«m for latr ' Rockland Lima, Hair, Hardware J and Paints. s.isjrs#""- - - •" . or* PAciunas abb pirbt - class, f kimball, prince ft co., i VTVBI.AVD. NEW JERSET <T«1, Wood, Ilmr. rtr. ftOAL AND WOOD. " l~sK=sas«s« A COAL AND WOOD TARD ; 8CHEU.EVGERV LANDIVG. I LZHIGH BGO. STOVE AVP CHESTVrT . r PINK OA A AND H1CKORT WOOD. Wit* AABO* SCBKLLENGES. ' 6. CURTIS, practical plumber, \m m STEAM FITTER, ; \.1I DacswrSC0FA.cn* MAJCRJ. «MABM maw Dah lMm ! t Gas, Water and Steam Pipes ^ Chemical Work A Lead Burning I 1 terra cotta drainage |j Oatrwxa**! PMhrnCmHiidBW-il * PAT ENTI

»fdlral. A Great Problem. , — Take til the Kklorr and Ltrrr jlafcomm. —Take all the Blood pariBer*. —Take all the Rhmmatir remedies, S —Take all Ibe Dftprfia and iodlgaitioD —Take all Ibe Amu, Fever and billiooa —Take all the Brain and Nerve force —Take all Ibe Grtat health ratom. —In aAtrrf, lake all Ibe beat qualities of all theae. and the - ' -bad i * Qualilia of all the U« medictnei In tbe world, and you will find Hal—Bop j ■ — Bitter t bare Ibe best curative qualities and powers of ill —Conrentratrd t —Is Ibem, and I bat Ibry will cure I ; when any or ail d theae, singly or —tern, j —Fail. A I borough trial will give po f itlve proof of Utji. Hardened Urcr. Fiee years sgn I broke down with kid, and Liver complaint and rbenmalUm. Since then I have been unable to be < about at alL My liver became bald like wood; my Hot ha were puffed up and filled with water. All the beat pbyaidans agreed that nothing could cure me. I resolved to try Htip Bitters; I bare used seven bottles; tbe bardnrsa bar all tone from qiy liver, i swelling from my limbs, and it bas uort rd a minute in my case ; otherwise I would have now been in mr grave. J. W. Moket, Buffalo, Oct. I, 1881. i Povcrtr and tSutlcrtnK. 1 "1 sras dragged down wltb debt, poverty and suffering ' for years, canted by a sick family and large bills for doctoring. , I was completely discouraged till one ago, bv tbe advice of Sny pastor, I ' commenced using Hop Biuert. sod in one month we were all well, and none of us , hsrc scan s lid dsy since, gnd 1 went to , say to all poor men, you can keep your famillra well a year with Hop Bitters for less than one doctor's visit will com. I ' know iL"— A Working mas. t BilierLjtli'sBriJit ; emu begins wltn prar't stal worship on ester- | HUE himself arsis side by side wnh the Infant." ■ remsrta 8b K Boiwer Ljuon. tn his "SUAnre T'bstto t t I art and aim mom rear and soMlty tbe 1 ■traetsre overhead. Coda will Is tear exempt >- ' whom He has p tared inter tb«r eontruL | the old msna •Tunrvt me not IB the mtdw or J •re Its wr£roTMM.!oe.1°l»7lnE*t»h ud latnt'e-t , twehips; or anme important . organ u torpid or ovrnrorted. This Ua msj hare tares (he , Item ot dyeiirpMa, Itantaaiiem (oat. tnalena. 1 tolne th the •tonuea, dtreetW- beadaehe.or an* , ,"^Z. J SALICYLICA. ; Ooul'aad Nenralgu.-As a mood a<uta« n hu ] THE OLD RELIABLE SPECIFIC , ENDORSED BY PHYBICIANS AND , THOUSANDS OF PATIENTS ! POSITIVELY CURES ! mac» eojcaaed epwtSee octlj treat tooaBr J As- | RheumatisM : Gout. neuralgiA ! gravel. diabetes .tZS'JL*" IL o0*d!Ua0 10 C*L '■ 1 KBrnHEswOamK Blood poisoning WABHBTKVK *00, PROI-8, myLd*w ant Broadway. New Toeh. sate by H. A. Kannsdy, M. D„ and Matey S imray, Ospe May Olty. iaHAx't' ;• (hv* rr * trial i Ely Chasm Halm Causes M Pain » f GiVMi Redief ah one*. A Tbnroogb Trtati meet w;l! Core. X* a Uqoid. Nat a - Scuff. Apply into ,«trils. - 8^^rEr^rh7"*8•,^*"I*0 1 KlT BROTHERS. DrnEglM*. (twega; N. V- ••

A Bit of Experience. In lometnx <fe* ttfea varied ft" eneooilefvd the clever. Ike elmply. Tbe rrabbed, the (Th*e and the (ay; I have been with the nstj and bad. n And w»p« with vie onea who "wefv sad. The eyes that seem iparttlnz with langhter 1 ■ And rre learned dm loot for prefespon s | B« had some s'ood Impulse, some' vttta* -j That •mooEhle bad traffa mlfht he seen. _ , J And. too. I have learned the mow Mcndahlpa We make are as brittle aa (lam, '"r^^T^de-pma J , But. at: I tare found tome few loyal— I . And th> toy and ihepmce thryhate brought tn- , !la*e cheered me my whole Journey Utroufh. ( | DIOTSCHAKCB. 1 , "Confound it all!" exclaimed Dick, , throwing bis paper sngrily uido. "1 declsre Ibe whole thing js entirely loo bait ! < I wasTxtrn nnder an eril star, Cbnrlie, , and there never was the slightest use for , a fellow to try and get Ibe best of bis ill- , l0Ck!" ^ « Dtis last fcRycauacl me tn look up into j the face of my companion with a look of , sfirpriae. 1 "Nonsense.'" I replied, laughln^at his , i cross visage- "What new misfortune has t I overwhelmed you now?" i We were seated— Richard Flanders sad 1 myself — npon tbe piazza of tbe little turn- t hotel al Lakeview, on tbe Erie road, mad, and comfortably enjoylog a quiet j after dinner smoke in tbe cool breeze of < evening, which wafted to our senses the < fragrant perfume of a thousand wild flow. , era, blooming about us on every aide. We < were in the middle of June, and tbe ; weather was sultry and warm. There bad , a little shower In tbe afternoon, Josl c enough to keep lis in doors and give Dick a chance to grumble a little.' j 1 never knew why it was that we seemed > get on so niecly together, for we cm- ] talnly were tbe very best and stauncbest t of friend". I bad always borne a great i liking for Dick; half. I suppose, on ac- 1 1 count of his genial manner, and half for i the odd way there waa about him in cv- | | en-thing he did and said He was tall f snd good looting; bit face was delicate ] and pretty as any woman's; bis eyes were I deep blue, snd his hair always golden. ■ Betide physical favors, nature bad in- 1 dulgrd him In every reaped. lie had t stumbled into a small fortune that yielded f him a couple ot thousand a year, and cer- < talnly ought to make him a favorite with i everybody. t Bnt despite bit figure and face, despite i graceful manner, despite tbe usual brightness of hit conversation. It must be i acknowledged that Richard Flanders had j but few friends. He bad one great (anil; be an was habitus! grumbler. c Not hot that the lest of us do. tinder 1 certain drcumstaaBea, complain some- c times; but Dick was a trifle In tbe way of j a cross-grained, crusty individual wbo never waa nor never would bs pleased f with anything or anybody. Tbe weather r 'might be clear or stormy, warm or cold, < alternately; bat it eras, somehow, never r what It ought to be. Tbe fire might < burn ever so brightly upon tbe hearth, and diffuse Ua cheerful influence upon- i every member of tbe household; bnt 1 waa Invariably of the opinion ] that It imparled either too much or loo little wkrmth. He didn't want to be suit- ] ed, and, what is more, be wasn't going to i be. If be could help it; |b U sras always the easiest thing in tbe World for bim to i continually find fault with everybody and every^tng about bim. iNerertbelcsa. be i was a nice fellow, and I liked bim all the I more, perhaps, because he had never U t ken it Into bis odd bead* to complain of me, and everything bad Wsrays gone on i with astonishing smoothness between us. "It's a downright abgrae!" be cried i again, jumping to bis feet and crossing over to my end of the piazza. "I really t cannot aft why I should be tbe mom 111- I fatefl individual under heaven. It bas breo tbe same ever since 1 waa a child; I i have never bad my own way Inanything." < "You are oertainiy the mosL4o-be-pllied man in the world," I replied, in a lone of mock gravity. "What with your personal appearance. arxVa neat income, no cares. ; troubles, no sorrow— it makes me shiver to out template your frightful agouICng "It's all very well for you to laugh. Charlie, be snapped ungraciously, and . stopping directly In front of me. "I , should like to see you in my place for a " So would L with all my heart. Til change shoes with you at cmoe." "It baa always been my fate to meet nothing bat disappointments and mitfor ' -.broach that red-haired Loois Harold, a in-" "Whal!" 1 cried. "Tou must not sny » anything against I.r>uis Harold before i mr. He is the very ties fellow In the 0 oonntry." - "He tea the reddest hair.* if that is nay 1 reanouseadaltoo. But be has not scan or ' beerd tbg last of mr yeL" "1 trait not, fur all our aakca. Dick, I ? added good-naturedly. "Come, tell me j about the whole affair from begtndlng to ^ to end. Looks la too muck of a gentleman to treat you aimbbity, I am sure. I wit! . been again at your old hauTof grum'Ja ling." Richard cruised over again to the place ■' where lie bad thrown the paper, and came - t ank with the Journal in bis band. "Look- «l I hall" he jpowled, as be tnaad it Into my lap. £ it was ibr Paierum Bail, JeumaS that t (h ifficresring paragraph .ou^T my cy'e; _

"We are pleased to bear of the safe return of Mr. Ixmis Harold— our rising young lawyer— with his lovely btitle, from tbrlr extensive wjddlfcg lour el tbe White Mountains."' "Well,""I said, without looking up. ,. "tbe*e is nothing very, extraordinary io that. Y'ou knew that be was married, did you not? I met Louis in the can, the other day, and he invited me very cordially to call upon him." "He did? Very kind, I am sure. He could not do lcsa than invite ua, after tbe trick be has served me." "Trick! 1 will vow it is no such .thing. Louis bas never been guilty of a mean aclion in all bis life." "Indeed. He must feel flattered to have one so eager in bis defence. 1 call him a sneak; and I'll prove it, too. Why. confound hltn, I wanted to marry her my self!" "What!" I fairly screamed, banting into a loud laugh. "You wanted to mar. ry Judge Reynolds' daughter! That must be a rich slorr you have to tell me, and 1 am all ears to bear In what way you suc- ' ceded in attracting tbe young lady's at1 lighted a fresh cigar and banded one to Dick, for I knew well that be could talk and smoke, and grumble, too, al' al tbe "The way of it all was this, be began, drawing up his chair and puBug away - slowly at his weed. "Before my uncle died and left mc the few dollars I enj ty - at present, I was a bard-working man. Oh, you need not smile; I was not born 1 1 earned my living, once ' a lime, and I worked for.lt, too Well, I waa conductor on the Erie, and i made two trips a day from Jersey City to 1 It was a bard life, I can tell you. but I did not mind it much, at 1 moat do that or perish In tbe poor"I bad been on tbe road for about two and was just beginning to like my occupation, when occurred the melar. ' clioly event I am going to relate, and which bas thrown a shadow over my life ' ever since. A man never has but one op- ' portuoity to make bis mark in this world. ' and woe to the fool that lets bis golden ! chance slip by unheeded. "It was a lovely May afternoon. lasgoing through tbe cart collecting fares, and about tbe middle of tbe train I saw Harold sealed by tbe aide of a very beautiful young lady. My heart gave a great thump as I stopped to speak will; keeping my eyes all tbe while fixed ' tbe lorety girl In the next seat Be I had looked at her three seconds 1 that I was head and cars in love, and trembled like a leaf when I politrli asked bcr for ber ticket. Judge of my astonishment when the Ixa^^ul youne • coolly informed mc that she had loa' pocket-book! My delightful visionlike a flash of lightning, and 1 wat with ber in a moment 1 bad read in tbe papers about theae pretty imporand I was loo old a bird to let a pai r 1 of blur eyes cheat me out of the Just fare, " 'Sorry, miss," I replied, putting oo my sternest look. 'But you mus; pay 1 " 'But. sir," the pleaded, wltb some confusion, 'tocne one bas robbed me, ana bare not a cent in my possession. I am ouly going as far as lUdge wood. My father^ > " 'Yes. yes; I know, youjMriGpcr.'.cd Judge Sqmebody, will make U all rigbt with tbe company tomorrow. Excuse me, but I most bare your fare. Oar ' relet are Imperative. I must get my pay, else you must leave tbe car.' "I felt the immense Importance of f position. Tbe Interests of tbe Erie Railroad Company were In my bands, and resolved to save their credit al any cost ' "Get off tbe car! " she ejaculated. "Why cannot walk to Hidgewood, snd papa's ' waiting for me at tbe depot. ' i " •barrj. miss,' I replied, "but I have i iostructiooa.' "Here waa my glorious cbance— and. ■ accursed be the hour— I mimed IL Louis - Harold chimed in Just then, and mid,with a half smile,— " 'Excuse me; but perhaps I can be of i aariataooe. ' "He ftew out his pock«-book and I handed mc a dollar. " Take tbe young lady's fare out al ■ that, Dick; 1 will go ball for this one's • ' 1 " "Ob, thank 700, ever so kindly,' mid i the young lady sweetly. 'I am so grate- ' ful 1 Tou must get off with me at Rldgrl wood, and my father win par you back. ' You are very kind, air; Indeed you are" 1 "I took tbe fifty cents for brr fare and ■ banded back the change to Louis, fir - winked at me thru, as IX to my. 'I've go: ! tbe best of yon this time, my man,' and I felt that be bad. Every time I had a . cbance to be near the ear 1 looked la. I They were chatting as eareesBly and I laughing aa merrily aa If they had been ' friends all their lives. I avoided passing near them, for somehow I felt that It was ' all over wltb me. "When I opened the door and called I oat 'Hidgewood!' Louis rose and helped * tbe young tody out. I saw ber ran to a • bt old gentleman on tbe platform, and , hold up ber cheek for him to kim. Tben she called Louis up sod told ber story. ? " Thlrgrntieman. pap*,' I beard ber 0 my, 'area pollle enough to pay my fare " when tbe rude conductor threatened to pal roe off lb* car." r "nnmpereooaUy and deeply grateful. «• dr.'tbe old gentleman said, offering Ir.ui* a dollar. The iapertineaae of aome of these eandaouta to. truly marvelous. I 0 psny to obtain his discharge, tomorrow. ' 0 "I ground my teeth wbeu I heard this, 1 arid listened again; tbe young tody to " " "Ob, please do not, pap*" she broke In 'He's a friend of Mr. Harold's. ' * "Tbe tost thing that I aaw.aa the train ' m-ivrel en, was that Louie had declined taking the old gentleman's money, and * was walking down the platform between htm and bis lovely daughter. Three day. d later I mat Lmto to the s»e»C and be K ^ *"*' ***** W*ral? ^

<■- , " 'That wa< a splendid cbanoe you tg j threw away upon me, old fdlow.'he said. • 'I am ever so much obliged to you. Mtos w Reynold* is a (pleaded young lady, end (1 was dying f<ir an introduction. Upon ;\ my soul, you could not have managed 0 anything hatter if we had rehearsed it for d s whole WW* together.' * "Confound bim! I could have pulled I- oat a handful of his ngly hair. The next time wr met be was raving about bis dear I* Cornelia. They ware engaged. He was * a struggling lawyer, just starting, without talent or elien'.a. and Judge Reynolds is !- an influential man. What was tbe cocao- , qtieoce? Loui* Harold hit today Ibe , '' every one aava that be is getting ah»g , 11 splendidly. If 1 am to believe to reports, . his wife thinks tbe world of him, though, for my part. I really cannot see what she finds to admire to such a carrot -haired telfl low aa be to." r- "That will do," I cried, cutting him " short wltb a. hearty laugh. "I shall not 1 >ct yon utter 1 word of complaint against :* that na^s hsir. It to not the external adornment of his fronliapiecr that we must examine; it ia tbe fertility of tbr ' brain that worts behind it. But, speak. ing seriously, that was really a beautiful ' opportunity whicb you offered him." Dick waa disposed to take my Jret in '• earnest, and ao it pleased bim to have IL I' fje fell back to puffing away at hit cigar c and mumbling to hunarlt about Ibe woes )' and deception of this world until a late - boor in tbr night, when I lose and moved 0 thai we adjourn to bed. ' Six months later Dick had a wife of bi* 1 own, wbo laughed quite as heartily as I myself when she heard bis melancholy " story, and the assures bim that one being II litis been made happy through bis misfor- * tune — herself. v Tbe little woman has made wonderful changes lo tbe character of Richard Flan. ' dcra. He to ao altered loAey that his own f twin brother would scarcely know bim. Tbe most striking feature of it mil Is that 1 be bas forever dooc away with his old c habit of grumbling. He bas tbe most de- ■ liciou* temper In tbe world, and his little wife looks with great and just pride al 0 the aococasful result of ber patient endeavnra. There to a perpetual smile upon ' his lips from morning until night, and - Richard Flanders declare* himself ss tbe ' grandest king. r It was a long time before be cotild be " brought tn call npon Mr. and Mrs. Uarok); '' but bis wife's casing prcvsiled at last, 1 and toe two families are now firmly *ttaobrd to each other. I Dick lakes s special pleasure in rrooont- ' tog a certain little episode that took place I in a railway train, some year* ago. He ' has made it into a little story, intended only for bis intimate friends, and which. ' al my suggestion, he bas called, " Dick's ' Cbance."! . j A Royal Matchmaker Outwitted. Going one day from Potsdam to Berlin, Frederick tbe Great, writes Colonel I! ackrnburj, io bis biography of tb1 Prussian monarch, aaw coming toward f him. In tbe opposite dir.cUcm. a magnificent gi'l. young, handsome and of gtaal E figure, superb in number of lochia. He 1 was at onoe struck with admiration for J ber. stopped to ulk and found tha' 'I root Berlin lo ber Saxou borne. I "Tben," said Frederick William, "you I will be passing t lie gate of Prtadam, mod - gdil on doubt jaw rids note tn'tbecom- ' tnaodant. receiving a (hilar for your Bg! anmrn, even when tall, are not ' easily outwitted. Tbe git I knew the king E by sigtt and reputation, and, knowing i that to refuse tbe note would probably ■ bring ber a abower of blows from tbe r talan. accepted tbe cootmistino. Arriving 1 near tbe gate of Potsdam, tbe found there a little wiseoed old bag, to whom tbe an. E trusted the delivery of tbe totter, honestly banding "over Use dollar with It. Tben , forwitb she aped away toward hams. » Tbe commandant opened tbe note, and b found himself ordered to marry tbe bearer to a certain gigantic Irish grenadier ' named Macdoll f? MaeDowallj. Ha rubbed hi* eyes, but three could be 00 i doubt about tbe clearnras of tbe command. Tbe grenadier waa anal for, and ' tben began a carious scene. Tbe man ' wai to absolute despair. Such a state tar one of his thews and sinews seemed a d horrible mockery. Tbe proposed wife, - no tbe contrary, was quite ready to submil herself to I he orders of Ibe king. There was no escape; to refuse furtl.tr would be Oat mutiny, and tbe soldier 1 was actually obliged to obey The misr take waa not discovered till tbe ucxt " morning, wbeu Frederick, finding bimself thwarted to bis designs for tbe devcL * opment of giants to Germany, oratacuted I- to tbe divorce of tbe ill-matched couple, d -ro- . TerrlDle Effects of at Stroke of Llgtrtnlne. j "Where in the world -have you bern. Johnny?" d "Why, I have Josl bren onv to ace Mr. d Smith's barn. It was struck hjr lightning Ibis morning, pa." d "So rbeard. Did it kill anjtbing?" a "Yea, k killed tou of animal*." "U killed— U killed a abcep and two T pig*, and a dBf, and another sheep, and a T goose, and a horse, and a jackass, and S row, mod a Blaine man, and anotberjaokass, and—" 1 "And any ruber animate, my •an?'' "Yew; it killed a bog, and a greenbacklf rr and anrabev gnom --Ban, flaasan. Old But Very GoodOne nnaodoto, told by tbe writer wbo ' had juM sketched Brrlie aoctoty, whether ' litaraPy ttwe or ooiy a neat tosaatfcm, has " met with great sneeoa. It nits at wfaM uaed to be t called in Germany a French * fashion. A* English missionary, so tbe story goes, was invited to a large dlooer ° party by a German Professor and Depoty. " Out of regard to bis doth tbe bote, after >d the ladlat hart withdrawn from the table, ■u a;>: I ytxed to tbe ndaalnitary for their, pevb*pa. too "dcooltetoe style of ttrcas. 'Oh. ' pray d-to*t mcn'i 10 it." repiM tto ntte- " ai marv; "I have lived ten r- *r» amocg be tbe revagcu nf Africa,and am quite pocnaWaedtoMxirifWg, -

*u Invention a of Half a Century. The number of inventions that hare " been made for tbe last fifty Tears u uo- ''' nreerdeotrd In the history of tbe world. 1 ■° Invmtinos ot benefit to the human rare < J hatra been made to all acrs aiooe man waa • 01 rrealed; but looking lark for half a hue- 1 died yean, bow many more are crowded 1 -'1 into the past fifty than into any other fifty c si or reenrded to htatorv! . Tbe perfection * " : of the hdomotirr, and tb» now world- ■ " | traversing ateamshipa. Ibe t-legraph, tbe 1 j telephone. Ibe audi phone, tbe sewing ma. " '* j ct-ine. tbe photograph, the cylinder d *" pi tut Ing press, chrtuno lithograph printing, 1 le tbe elevator for hotel* and ntliex many. '' ld 1 s lorried build inga, tbe cotton gin and tbe 'K spiuning-jeany. tbe reaper, tbe mowrr.lh* c "• » learn tbreaber, tbe steam engine, tbe irs- "• proved prnoras tor making si eel. t heap- • " plication of ether and clilorofsnn to de- 1 1- atroy amsibility lo painful surgery caaqs, '' and an an through a hog catalogue. Nor c n are we yet door in tbe field of Jnvrullno 1 " and dtocovery. Tbe appbeatkm of coal I u sras and petroleum tn heriiog and cooking ' '' operations to only trembling on Ibe verge e e of suecreafttl experimeal; tbe introduction T r nf the steam from a great central reservoir c '■ to geoerai use for cooking and beating to • '■ forrahadowed as gmong the coming events; P tbe artificial prodociloe of butter bas al- 0 " ready created a oonatornation among dairy il '■ men; tbe navigalton of the air by some * ' device akin to our protect balloon would c also seem to be prefigured, and toe pro- 0 ' putoioo of machinery by electricity to ° now clearly Indicated by the march of ex- u permcnt. There are some problems whicb * wc have hitherto deemed impossible of c aolutiun, but are the mysteries of even tbe c > moat iotprolwlth- of the more subtle to ^ f grasp than that of tbr ocean cable or that • '• of trie phtM'yrraph or the telephone ? Wr " talk by cattle with an ocean rolling bo- 'I 11 1 ween; we speak in our voices to friends P '* a hundred miles or more from were we arn tictt late before tbe mirvophpne. I'oder d tl* blaring sun of July we produce ice by n l' chemical means, rival ing tbr most solid « d and cryataline | r*t!nctloo ■>! nature. Our k s snrgeons graft the akin from oor peraon'a >' lc arm to the face nf anotlter, and it adheres 1' 11 and becomes an Integral portion of Ida d '■ body. We make a mile of white printing *■ 0 paper and send it 00 a apo..l that a per- u '' feeling printing preaa unwinds and prints, 1 ,e and delivers to you, folded and counted. * many thousand per bopr. Of a serity toto P e is tbe age of invention, nor bas the ootid s! '• reached a stopping-place yet. '• l' She Wanted Him To Say Something Startling To Make Her Blush at the Altar. # t One wedding as a sequence of July o t courtship by tbe seashore occurred this *! j week. It was burned became tbe bride- n , groom had to go to Europe on business, a -j atgl wanted to take tbe new wife along, a' II was a wonder he spared Ibe lime to fall in love, even in vacation time. He hadn't j !• ever paid much jaltention to girls, raprc- n I. tally tbe Fifth avenue type; rod that was k •1 shown a' the c-remoov. "Now. John." abe tali) the day before, jj il_ "I wouldn't get manled at all if J didn't i- th-ok I wmild Itiusb at tbe altar. An unil blushing bride to my pet aversion. But e I'm afraid to trast'myarlf. I don't scare ,r easy, and I would aa likely as not go right ui ,t to rough tbe ordeal as cool as a cucumber. t» y What 1 want you to do to to say sometblng startling abockiog— Impnqxtr, you li u know— tbe instant we are ready to march T d in. Tiiat'll bring a blush, and then I'll & y. be charming." „ "But, wha— wba— wha shall I—" tbe f( numbskull stammered, g "Oh. I muao't know beforehand, a - because I wouldn't get red- Only g don't be atraid to put It strong. This b y is important." — Well, when tbe time came for bcr to be „ dreadfully abashed by an improper remark. t be gently, heailatingly whispered: "Are you sure by love yoar hosiery is suitable V v to tbe oceasioor' ^ 1 That was bis I dm of what would shock n a Knickerbocker girl! She was married 0 d With a blush on. however, bnt It was ooe a „ of anger at bis fallnre to prove himself a [■ ,, man to rely on at an important moment. ' , " Drinkers of Blood. ® Tbey haunt tbe abattoir every week J d" and drink, tbe warm beef blood by the 1 cupful. It to caught aa it flows from the r animals throaL Ii benefits thin blooded persona Sometime since s woman came c c to tbe Mock yards who mid ber physician 1 5' bid told ber she must drink beef blood. ' "But I can never do iL never I" tbe J r mid shuddering. n "Bui it tastes JuM like milk." add tbe u gentleman appealed to. " Come, I'll [t blindfold you and give yon a glass of milk. Tben. Ill .give you aome more f milk, or a glass of blood, tben a taste of 1 d milk till you get ibem mixed up, and you r g won't know wbicb to whicb. Sbe consented and drank tbe glass of ( milk first given ber with a relish. "Ah I J that was the milk. Now I think I can g. try toe blood," the told tben. "But, madam, you bare drank it al- 1 ig Commercial OaeetU. How Sugar Cans Is Mndn. a Sugar cnoe grows during about fire ro and a half moo tha. Il makt* its appear- „ anoe My on tbe 1st of April, and by lbs e * tfiih of September it baadoue reaching up. I 1- ward. In that Ume Jt grows or ongfat to " grow 18 fStL counting toe while Joints and tbe top flag or tuft- On tbe fine of t- July U to some * feet high, ao that from |, then until tbe lfito of Beptwnber it grows , 86 inches. During August, bowerer, It t rtorbes tbe largest rate of inereaae, toe d ordinary growth during that mouth under j, * favorable oooditioos bring 40 Indies. " August to known as tbe "growiog mooto." " It to then that cuRivstloo to over and « 41 ground tooroughly shaded by the foliage s * It to then tost tbe daily abower* atimulaie f a lite process or regetatiaa until one can aL e f- roost literally "see it" about upward. It " ii 00 dear. Mill nigbla during this T. month that you can bear tost light crack- n b. lug wand all over a bealtoy field of cane, a *■ It to (be month wben. into cart of growing r * toreeJouttos of en inch per day. good f one oogbt to grow o«f MlfiBdfi ttoii* !|

Shark • Sharks, as a rule, bare round bodies. Tbe mouth u oown underneath the bead, In most flabea. The most marked characteristic of sharks Is their roradty. Tbey will eat anything that comes In their and their Jaws ere provided with ooe Set are torn out or rendered wortotom another set 1 takes tbeir place. Tbe twth . are set in a tongh bnlj very durable cartiThe trell. of roost toprfcj will ojme not very easily. Tbe slgr (n which tbey grow can be Judged by tue aim 'of totir teeth. Tbe teeth of some abarka. particutbe mas- a lees, are ahaip and pointed like spikes, white tbe teeth of toe other classes are act Into the Jaws fiat like pa v. ing Mooes, lo a span boor on board ship a sailor will lake aa much pleasure in sharpening a thro* book as a barber does strapping a raaor. After a shark to captursd and hauled aboard tbe vessel mOurt cut it up into as many small pieces as pomltue before throwing it overSharks are as tenacious of life aa cala, and it to oecesmry tn cut tbetti all p pieces in order to kill them. Qn ooe occasion some Miinr* caught a good aiznd •hark, and, after getting it 00 deck, dispatched It. aa they thought. Tbey cut the mangled can-mas bark into the water. A little while afterward shay caught tbr amine shark, apparently as lull dfiiie and mischief as ever. Tbe thrashing shark has a tough and ugly looking tail longer than toe body, with which It t brashes and. dtoahies lis eoctnire. Il to a {ormtdsMr aod relent Icm enemy nf tbe whale, and bunts tbe leviaof toe deep lo ountpany with tbe •word fish. Tliese flab travel In p> cks wolves. Wben a w bale U attacked swtjrd fish goes dnwo under iL and by pricking and cuulbg Jt In tbe belly tbey force Ibe monster to rise to toe surface of water. Then Ibe threshing abarka raise toeir talis end thrash the * hale acram toe back. The aword-fleb anil tbe shark up their combined aarauits until their mammoth, but against litem power. It s*, adversary is t1»sd The oo'V fwrt of whale that i* eaten by ttie thrashing thark to toe tongue;- It to not known that awnrd-flsh eats any part of a whale. appear in j.dn with tbe thraahiog in asmulting toe whale only out of r.ciouaness. With all tbtir voracity, are eo tilled to Ibe oedll of canng for one another. Young sharks are watched and protected by toe older otiea. In gat bet ing wild floaers, autum leaves picoicing it. the wood*, we arc intra I'M ezpnsrd to dapg-r fn.m potwnlog Ivy or other arlid vines and shrubs. Tbe poison i» u oiler crraln il cutnstancrs readily abaotbed by the bWaal. and painful • scllinga or eruiuioua are caused. Buch affection* Hned't Sariararilli readHy cures, as it expel* al' impurities from toe blond. Even in twee nf poisoning by Pari* grarn. H'wd'a S*rre;sn'l» bat been remarkatjv aiteeerafiii. ft '.hreiWi he cnoaun'ly in 'be hmoe for all hlood disorders. Hood's Ssrttpsrril!* to made by C. 1. lfood & On.. Irtwell. Maw . and to sold by all druggl-ta. 100 Docs fit. What She Thought. "In what tense to the lenfi gtase-rgg used, George, in onantctow with base ?" inquired a young lady. That is to say, it means a cipher. player who fails to soore anything to Qd to have made a goose-egg." "How fanny! I thought it meant fometbing different." "Indeed. ' What was your idea of goose^g «r "I thought it might have been an egg by some of tbe 'fotfls* of tbe game." — Youngstown Saturday Sight. An Editor's Tribute. Thereto P. Kestor. Editor of Ft. Wayne, Ind.. "Gazette," writes; "For tbr past five yean have always nsed Dr. King's New Diarovcry, for cnugbs of moat severe character, aa well aa for those of a milder type. It never failFto effect speedy cure. My friends to whom I recommended il speak of It In same high terms. Having been cared by It of every coagh I have bad for flva years. I consider it toe only reliable and aura care tor Congbs. Colds. Mo." Call at Kennedy's Store end get a Free Trial Bodta. Large Size #1.00. (8) Mrs. Beiva A. Lock wood, having accepted the nomination for tbe Presidency, anxious u to tbe kind of candidate she should btvt 00 tbe ileket with ber tor President. He should be an Apollo, Beiva, dear, of course. BucRlen'a Arnica Salve. Tbe Best Salve in toe world fur Cute, Bruises, Bores, Dicers, Ssli Rheum, Fever leuer, Chapped Hands, ChilbCoras, and all Skin Eruptions, and positively cairna Pi tea. nr eo pay required. Il to guaranteed to gin perfect ieattofacper'' box. For Bale by , • A madera phUjaopher to inks il a mislachtel to an old bat; bat be aikn "Wbo ever beard of a woman being Mlachad to old bonnet?" WKxxi at the xazh vm. Ibt Diamond Dyes always do more tben tbey claim lo do. Color over thai old dram. will look like new. Threat* Warranted. 10c. at druggists. Write, B Chard**) ft Co, Burling tot), VL A young lady may keep ber lover waiting twenty minutes io tbe parlor while she fixes ber hack hair, but if she is only affectionate, enough a Urn the dura get d two stair* be will admit thai she U warth weight iy gold. Tba bog to a very gnas feeder end to consequently always liable to eat to much *nris brings about indigestion, diartoaa. When aoflering from toto cause give bim Day's Hone sod Ostlic Powder every day with his food. ' T should think you would need a military guard to keep the young owe away," said a citizen lo tbe father of six marriageable daughter*. "Old Pm % pretty good font ptjater mysplf I" was Ibq