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VOLUME XXX IV. «)- " CAPE MAT CITY, NEW JERSEY, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 89, 18881 _ WHOLE NUMBER 1784. •

HOBH CAPE MAY CITY, N. J.. IP«r«Mm«, raSMsSir art h W Mil1. | . bwxkt r. atn. mm sr. •1-00 • Tsar atrtoUy la Advenes jgwtwrtml ftprto. . ' EAJIING k BLACK, ATTORNKYtLAT-LAW, camdta. m. j. jw-j ->a j. r. lkamikg k boh, ~ DENTISTS I -in Hat unr,'oor?>bwkm ana ocsu UnuiuHnRoni-nmlviiMM-'AMES II. K. HLLDRETH, ATTOWTBY-AT-LAW ucrroic, luirn aud ixaminm in CHAMCtHT. hbmat he. is wahihuo sum. Ca^ftaj ■ff k. LAKE, M. D. RESIDENT PHYSICIAN, HOLLY BCACR, K. J. i Jfflo. at tie VaaVaHq Oouafe. Will beat 3

- spice b leaking, ttorney-at-law ADD. solicitob-in-chancbry, II WAIUIHOTOH BT., oaf* HAJ. H. J. Mm (tars, Tosedara, Thnrvdais AH BAterjennxngton t. hildbeth, attorney - at - law amd solicitor in chancer! , ma uior rr/oiHDib. a. i. HT^moscaai Caps Hat Ooart Horn., «ustnr*« (Suit. ^ b. little, rHAOnoAL ainter and glazier, oaf* mat cm, n. j. ^ o. gilr, house, sign and presco painter, oari mat crrr, n. j. iubrogate'8 ottici. mhooatb or ni oocirrr or cam hat. ah om al cap* MAY OOArt hoaaa, OA tubadat amd saturday askvam. william hhj1r1td, 0aa4i MmilL, y are k eldredge,

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CAP* MAT cm, M. J. VMAA WAY at tBAB* A MlfA Mock <M 1UILDI-NG LDMBER, detractors mm dtm j. b. bphelltatgebs.

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What ThankacrivinE Brought I Laura. In one of those mounlnln villages -of , Tennessee, which, eren "befo d« wait," their Hied ad amiable And beautiful gttl-- Laura Lyiton. The riling* ley In i uaall valley formed 1 by four towering mountains. Cragvillr, i si it ww termed, mnlelned bat a hundred souls, nil more or lew faeppy In themselvre end possessing A fall knowledge of eech other's buslney. II *11 in the letter pert of Norember being waged between Ibe Northern end Southern boata be I ju.t reached thie sc-~ I eluded apot. In one of the moat homely houaea of I the place lived Laura Lytton and her parents. The girl herself waa only tixteen yet ra ol age and yet "wise , beyond ber years." The winter day waa faat grawing to a clone ; dunk waa gathering : quickly i abore, could be seen the nulled hearrna : do clouda were there ; anon, the moon would arise In cffnglent glory. Hiss Lyuon'a home waa on the ouL skirts of tbo Tillage. Lights were ahlo- 1 log through the windows ; some one ■ from within opened the front door and : waa on the point of stepping out, when— "Good crenlng. Laura." The gill looked from the doorway and saw that a young man had accosted her "Oh, bow dy do ! " she replied, "I didn't going, Jim?" 1 "Just came around to ace you. If 1 you're going to take a walk, I'd like to J 1 . As they were slowly going on the ' ; young man aaid : "D'ye knew, Laura, ' that the South la fighting the Noi tfa ?" ' ' No. la that so. what for?" "Don't know ; but 1 do know one "lion i snow; DUl l ao Know

thing " "What's that," she demanded. "Woll " and bo hesitated. "Oh, go On." "Well, I'm going to the war and fight > the Booth for old Tennessee! they're raising a moll company here, and I'm going to Join it." -'-'You're net a going to do any such thing, Jim Broadhnrst 1 Why, we're to be married next month ! " "Oh, that'll be all rlgliL I'm only go. ing to enlist for three months, an' when come back, we can be married." She looked at him for a moment, and then sorrowfully, uld, "when are you "Next week." widow to night, let's turn back," ahe remarked. They retraced their steps and presentLaura opened the back door and sat down upon the trattlde stoop. Her eyes were filled with tears. She deeply lored Jim, and be appeared to return It. in the bearena, the moon sailed serenely orcr pin war-lorn land. IU raya, falling on the dark-halted, grey-eyed mountain girl seemed to transform her She waa sluing there, softly crying to when she waa slat tied by some touching hor, and bearing a masculine Toice say, "don't ery, Laura ! my going away la aa bard for me aa for you to bear ; 1 would not go did I not think it ray duty." It waa James ; he sat on the stoop beside her. "WeD, Jim, It U hard for me. When ' did you say you- were going ?" She remarked. "That Is why I came back here tonlghL The company is mads up, and we're going " 'To-morrow morning !" she brokenly exclaimed. "You are riibt : I came t» SST eoodright : i came say good-

bye." a moan escaped ber. He u ok her bands and warmly klsaed them. They aat In alienee for awhile. Presently be said, "Laura, 1 must go; wo lea re early Id the morning. Let me klsa you good-bye, only for three months, "Ah, «nfg for three months! And win you lore me when you return, will > you marry me then ? " ahe said. j For an answer, he clasped her In his armsand rapturously klaaed her. Arising, 1 said, "good-bye. Laura dear, it am you 1 ninety days from now ; we'll bo married "And ril wait (or yon till you come hack, Jim." They embraced again and separated ; he to his "company," ahe to her room. The moon waa the only observer i The next day, the company left. The three months passed all too alow, ly for Jim. The laat day came, and he waa getting ready (o leave for Cregrllle, when his company became engaged 1 1 a skirmish. The fight fas a long one, and towards the end ed it, he wes . wounded and made prisoner by the ene- - my. hk company was dispersed. a few days afterwards he, with other era hnenllel el V.w Veefc era hospital 1

In that place— and amongst the nuraca waa a rather handsome one of eighteen 1 or thereabouts She seemed to attend 1 jim more than any one else, and the 1 magnetism In ber eyes al laat led him to ' ■peak to her. ' She mid her name was Retta Arilog- 1 ton and that ahe hailed from Philadelphia. Further questioning revealed the ' fact that she waa a very wilful, rich girl (In her own right!, always used to baring her own way, and that the role of nurse, which ahe waa playing, had been assumed because ahe wished to do ( something for " suff< ring humanity." , She told him these things at various , limes, and with a loquadonsua • and ri- , Tadtr rarely equalled. if she had but : known, he would, hare termed her a ( He allowed ber to enchant Mm; he , " rapidly fell In lore with her, and, at last, , when nearly weD, told her so. " But you wtl] be imprisoned, when the authorities, whoa I have kept in lgws^ sr^m.dll"ra' flnd ^ " Not IT you krre me well enough to Wf f lomeape,"h. replied. "Ok. Ikrei you enough, but how to ? escape la more than I know." . She thoughts while and thai add; ".Lot ma -ami- IU borrow a eMWt dress, a pair of spectacles and a slouch hat, and briaj than here umborow , night You srilf pat them on, and whila you pasa for a surgeon, I, of course, wUl r'Mk MM* "e 1 . • — — |

" But what about the am try ? " V Oh, gold wm Bx him:" The next night arrived. They made ( their recaps, and the sentry, while con- » sMerabJy richer, knew aoeAin?j They went Weal Immediately. Borne dajra afterwards, In one of the I Western churches, they were married. Hohad forgotten CragrQle. Inure and all, In that Tennessee village 'moogst the f moun'alns— and the crescent moon told In hla wild passion for the handsome, r light-haired and blue-eyed Northern girl, J he forgot even- thing— but her. j Fire years passed- In the fall of IMS - his wife died. She had been a good helpmate, and after her death, he neecsf aorily mourned for her. She had left him r no child to bleaa hla life. The world I had ha to lire ? ( He wished to end life, yet stopped be- , fore the awful, dark, unceitsln future— . to him. He had plenty of mooey and bo eon- ' eluded to sen the world. The next week he started. He traveled all over North and 8oulh America. Kuropc, Asia and , Africa, and even ventured Into the Polar 1 regions. , On the 84th of October, 188 . he found himself again in London. Be had been I wantl- ring all over ev«r alncc 1808. , lie waa weary. , In his hotel one night lie said to him- , self. " I will leave to-morrow for New York ; from there I'll. go South, andf by gracious! I'll go to Crsgville; I , don't ruppoae any onr will know me, though, unless it's Laura. 1 wonder if , she Is still living! I promised to return to her after three months, anil marry her. , I couldn't efler 1 married Retta. • • • • Gums' Laura's married by this time, anyhow." ' A tians-AUantlc steamer was plough.

New York. One of her passengers waa 1 Mr. Jam-v Broadliurat. 11c stepped ' ashore at the Metropolis the ilUs tj! No- 1 I rem ber. He tarried th«e jratll hut a 1 , then, after makinjfa few pureliaiea, took 1 a train for Cragvllle, or aa near aa he I It could get to It. 0 He was landed some twenty miles from 1 his destination, however. A stage ran ' " from the railroad to the mountain ril. 1 ° lage ; be took it. and off it went. Aa they were bowling along he asked 1 a "To-morrow Is Thanksgiving day, 1 " My name's Haoks," interrupted the 1 o driver. 1 • " Well. Mr. Hanks, what are the pro. ( pie here agoing to do ? " '- joinder. " Mr. Hanks, do you know any one 1 il by the name of Laura Lytton f " ' • " Sorter that way." il " Does she still live In tbo old place ? 1 1 mean, la she still living here ? " 1 b "Yes. Who be ye, stranger?" 1 i, " You wouldn't know me If 1 told you. 1 :1 1 used to know Miss Lytton when I wns ' f small ; is she married?" " Naw. Got any torbacker. atran- 1 0 ger?" ' " No ; but hcre'a a few cigars. If you 1 want to amoke." 1 •• Tbaoka,"— and ho took them. 1 11 •' How soon will we reach Cragville ? " ' k " 'Bout ten minutes," replied the ' pretty good, alranger," he added. ' Ten minutes post and they drove into 1 11 the village there waa scarcely any 1 H change, except for the worse. He peld 1 a liberal sum to Mr. Haoks and then 1 '■ walked off to the village tavern to ob- 1 'I tain supper and a bed for the night. The next day was Thanksgiving, but, 1 y when James Broadhurst awoke the next ' morning he neither saw nor hoard any I- demonstration whatever. 1

It had been noised about the place that a rich stranger had arrived Urn night be- I Il fore, and when Jim left the tavern that I <■ morning he fonod himself the cynosure 1 i of an eyes, na heard such remarks as 1 e "Who Is he?" " What's hi. name ? " ' " Where's he from?" "What's he I worth?" People were curious; they t a always are In a small village. ' Ik But no one recognised him. " 1 He walked oS toward Miss Lytton's 1 » There had been a hack way to her house, I !■ and It was there yet : James remembered 1 u It and walked up It 1 a He approached the bouse. Ho : aw 1 Laura sitting on the same stoop where ' • lie had left her seven term years before. She waa reading a book- • She had not noticed him coming, ao noialen his steps. He looked Intently , at ber ; all hla old love for ber seemed returning. He drew doser and touched her on the ahoolder. Son looked up In .. surprise, and— j e " Great God 1 la It you, Jim ? Bpcak: i, Speak 1! " , " It la Jim, and he has returned to , you, Laura," ha said, a "But where have you been all Ibcse y yeata?" , I He told ber aB, and said : " Laura, T forgive me, If you can, for what I have ( y done ; I love you still 1 Will you many now?" c

, " As I hope God to forgive me my , sins, ao I forgive you, jim. I love yon I and will many yon. Do you know," , ahe added pathetically, " I told you I B i would wall tm you came back : I have mated oil tAvsr poors, and you've return- j . ed to me at last." , They were married. ■ ■ • That's , what Thanksgiving brought Laura. ^ , Fiuxx Fiildixo. s Smooth potatoes. ^ 1 We have become fully satisfied ol one ' thug, that to order to secure smooth po- e latoes. It la better to plant upen new ' or that that baa not been under < - cultivation for a little time. We have 1 hern digging potatoes from a piece of • 1 ground that baa not been cultivated for a number of yens, and they are as 1 ' smooth aa cold be desired, while the • same variety plan'-r : la t garden turn- a ed ant very rough' and very scabby. > We have bad a similar Mtperiencc before r • and are. left somewhat to doubt aa to the ' real cause of the difference. If, aa j » canaalby a minute insect in the soil. < why might u not bain one sod aa well « 1 as aootharf cr why not In a nrw sob aa 1 well aa an old? Then again, If any far- 1 ' tffiaee affecta a change, why should n ' • not do so in every case, which does not 1 9 appear to be Ust mast Thar ore qaes- > ' dona for the ooosidcraflon of scientific ' ■ uwsuistau. w • ' experiment Mafloua.— SmaHnw Tais- •

Oping to School. Dear Utile man, ao' you are bock In '' school and you don't like it pretty well »- I don't think ? WeU, that's natural and boy Uke, but it isn't right. Going to •cbool Is great fun, after you are too old * to go any more, which wUl be when you are old enough to die, and then I anpd pose you wUl go to another school. ie When I was your age 1 don't think I d liked going to achool a Utile bit. but much sense when I was young. I only 1. worked and studied about six or seven hours a day then, and had but three B teachers to obey. 1 waa the gladdca! <• boy you ever knew, when I gol'.oul of a- achool. Since then I have been at work u all the time, anil have to obey more pec- » one lime. The editor says If I don't have my composition ready by Friday - man says he must have it In band Friday morning or it won't go in, the proof t- reader says If bo dosen't get the proofs k Thursday night they wUl have to read h themselves and the compositors— there d are acventT-five or eighty of them— tie. w olare they will strike If I don't write more plainly and punctuate properly, d and spell better. Then 1 used to iccite n before a email class, or school at most. and aay my piece before all the stib- " acribcra. When I was a boy thclcmcbrr 1 ' mo right out in print before everybody, and, when 1 don t aay tuy lesson to suit ■ though? The way he makes the bnt tly is a ' caution, and Uie worst of It Is I daren't ■ "hoUor," and ao get over It ; Usat would ' only make him worse, and beside every. 1 body wnjtld langh at mo and cry, "Give

| dot your i's ami : cross your t's to earn ! | landlord, and the grocery n.i.o and ' the tax collector ami the shoemaket, ' and I don't know how many other pro. i club of my party, and I hare to march < , the dust am! mud. and listen to long < speeches anil make some longer ones my"barr feet and I're only Ur n Ashing i this year, >ml ll.uu I didu'l slay I long and didn't catch anything ; al the | . gel a bite to cat myself, and l am always the laat one waited on ; a man down in i me for shooting his dog— and he looks i body knows I'm afraid of a gun and 1 couldn't hit a Bock of barns anyhow, on - rest, and with globe sights. Another 1 and poor widow woman in Rag alley. to sue me, if I dou't pay hcrplObrcause I has no garden, and 1 never owned a cow I , In my life. I can't follow the circus pro- ' ration, I canT slay home whenj hare | . In this great big school tells awful lies. ' i sod some of them are fools, sod some ' , sneaks, and some are Hare, and some i but they're so busy you can only snulch It Isn't so very much differed from vour ' ^ own school after aU, only the discipline ' I Is more severe, and the Teacher 1s atrlct. - while lie Is loving and gentle. But every , time you break a rule you smart for it. 1 I don't wonder that some of tbo older '

. pupils arc glad, glad, glad, when their i are allsald, and lh« blotted books i are put a way, and they are called up InI the higher room, where lliey will be ■ closer to the Master, and all the hard i places In the old lessons wUl be explained > away so lovingly and clearly that never a sigh will punctuate the recitation, and blindly now. Ah, my little man, you'd I better learn lo love your school ; you'll get out of It uotll they send word . the sexton that you have graduated. , —Robert J. Burilcttc tu Brooklyn Eagle. How to Mark* Happy Homea. A woman who to handy with a needle ' An effort to introduce ecwing In the ■ public schools to to be made. 1 Science and history are all very well : la their way ; they improve the mind. 1 But they are of Utile use as an aid to housekeeping. 1 A man who desires a wife to apt to 1 choose a woman who wUl be a helper. and talk French like a native. ' She may explain the "wbichoeis of : J the when" with fluency. But con she sew on a button with

clereity ? (ton she take "a stitch In Umc" lo her ' husband's trousers ? These are questions which young j Intending to many wIU ask. It to to meet such an emergency that educational circles are mov. Sewing taught to the public schools will, they say, accomplish great results. , Thlrty-flve thousand girto will be bet- , tor fitted tot wives (ty aid of this useful accompltohmenU .No doubt tnaqy a poor hnsband reechoes the sentiment. He wishes that girls had been taught tewing when his wife went to school. By all means teach the girls bow to . The tendency ol the times to toward lawn tennis and kindred sports. Now let the girls become as expert with the needle as with the raqoet. Then the question "to marriage a faUMra. Rivet Chandler's "Quick and the to baring Ine same treatment ton critics to England aa to this ooualry. It has ra (suits and wUl probMy, but not certainly, dtoqppsar, but It takes a good deal of a book to make the talk this oaekaa, and too comment It raises to ot the aort which generally fola work from hands of real power, i The critics are nrarty SWayt ready to condemn the first of such works and the , rmp reader buy, them hy lb. tl«m-

Tha Goose-Bono Wiggins. I The foreshadowing of the approach- | ] tog winter, aa It to" road from the dots , , and the lines on the goose bone, to not a , 1 cheerful story. The bone to dark at c , both nods, which lodicatea a long win- | . Itr. The goose from whoae bono this s study was taken was hatched In April ,1 I and killed after the Ides of September . t I The bone to wonderfully marked. The i f dots and breves and lines mingle aU j , along the keel, thus indicating very t i changeable weather, but the breves 1 . mostly turn down and are heavy, show- , ; tog that the genual character of llio t f Winter will be falling colt! weather Aa f [ will be arcn by the table, the danger j r falling between the 30th and S6th, and ,, . at any time within this period blustering , \ of sunshiny weather. The heaviest ' i storm period of the month centres to the ; , very foul, and probably some of the . coldest weather of the season, and these t ■ the middle of January. Watc i this per. [ ■ tod ; but above all, prepare for IL It to h . more than probable that the earth will t • .lawns and thai a cold north wind will ' The 54th and Mth of December will be ° ' " r d"k"' "J'™, | d"5 ' " : lime It is a curious clustering of bad i

' ly tie below zero, probably remaining • , For February sk .rt storm periods run i . very' late in getting a atari. It will ! April. The writer remember, t. have ' sacred than the home and family re" ' lions. But such a scene aa the following, ; described by a 8L Lvuto^paper. would

Jews or Gentiles or Pagans. The oeca. ' sion waa that of a contlmmlion ot Jewish ' for the rabbi to spread his hands above ? the children's beads, and thus bestow J hla blesaiog. On this occasion, however, Rabbi Sale made a touching change to [ the ceremonial. J When tbo moment came for the bleasj ing, he spoke to tho children of the ! value of parent.', love and the filial affection. He then told them lo go to 1 their parents to lite pews and get their ' all to tears, and as Utey brushed them ' from their faces, some of the drops fell which nearly hid them from light. , A11 tho class turned and went toward their parents. All? AU but one. She , .was a litUe o:pban, and ahe had no place I gone, she stood alooc and motherless, and hor Utile one wandered about for The rabbi realized the situation to a In a few eloquent words ho called the i congregation's altcnllqn _lo her lowly condilion, and reminded them thai she r rested upon tho fatherhood of God. Above ber golden hair the rabbi raised , his hands, and In silence let them rest to benediction. Then he dismissed her,

r and as ahe passed down tho broad stole , of tear-stained hamlkcrchlefs that fluttered on every aide. The Tamptatlon of Political t "You don't know, Sehoocs," said hto - editorial risltor, "what the temptations * are that assail the political journalist. 1 Publishing your modest lltUc society paper, as you do, you have 10 deal with • a constituency unlike mo to every repect. Your manhood to not assaUed. ' No attempt la made to buy you openly. Yon my friend have never been ap- ' preached by any political emissary who wanted to purchase the support of your I paper outright for $500 or # 1 ,000, or some such polity sum." 1 "Novcrl" replied Jekooes, with a wistful, yearning look. No Profit on Suoh a .Customer. c A negro entered) an Amrricus, Gsl, I restaurant, and, laying down a dollar, ■ sold: "Give me a square m«J and no . change." Tho proprietor bustled s but soon sickened of the bargain. The 1 hungry man ate thirty-two links of aau- . >gc, thirteen biscuits, half a dozen .. slices of fresh pork, and two fried muk o lata. He saoaikadas be left Uie restatie rut; "i have been suffering from dysy pepsla, and my appetite Isn't very good." — Chletfo JDraM.

Preatdent Lincoln's Lac Caaea. In hto "Reminiscences of Abraham Schpler Colfax laid : "No man clothed with sorb rut power u President Lindon ever wielded it more tenderly and more forbaartogly- No man to hto hands the key of life and ttcaih crcr pardoned ao many offender, and to easily. ' There were time to time Of course, instanstances of ccwardlce to Use army in face of the enemy— a crime punishable hy the laws of war throughout the world with death. In the ear.ier years of the war all the death penalties of court-martial hod to he sent the President as Commandcr-to-Chlcf, hto approval When Judge Holt, the Judge Advocate General of tho army, laid the first case before the President and explained it. he replied : "WeU, 1 time to read the testimony ." Teal seemed quite reasonable. When the Judge explained the next ease, Mr. Lincoln Mid : '1 niurr-put this hjr unui 1 can settle in my mind whctt^Whis sol- - tie. demoralized hto regiment by hto frnse. The cou:LmailiaL in examining hto antecedents, found that he had netwho stole continually from hto comrades. • Here," .aid Judge Holt; -Is a ease that does out deny hto guilt The will bet-

: tcr serve the country dead than living, | ' Judge lloll cz porta I. of course, that he 1 gcrs through bis hair, as he often nsed I "Well, after all. Judge. I think I must ' - L.v cases." Mid Jud.-e Huh, with a < "What do you mean by leg rases, air?" J i -Why. why." replied Mr." Lincolo, ' I "do you see those papers crowded into 1 those pigeon-holes? They are the papers ■ • that you call hy that long title, 'Coward- 1 - ire in the fare or an enemy.' but I call 1 I Chic for yourself If Almighty God give. ^ a man cowardly legs, ho » can he help ; I A REASONABLE REQUEST. : Chieoyv Tribunt. ^ 1 I man gently. r He stood In fore her with hto weight j r on the mantlcpiere, hto right arm behind | t lean, unstudied ease and grace, acquired ' only by long>nd patient practice. j ured by ordinary standards and by the ' f indeed midden. We have known each 1 ' 8-88 o'clock tost night neither of as had 1 1 ever heard of the other. Yet with the ' heart one day to as 100 years. Could 1 ' we have known one another better, 1

we hail attended the theatre, the concert. the church nod the oyster parlor ' "i wIU not pretend to deny, Mr. Dar- | nclln." replied the young lady with a " that your avowal moves me strangely." "I kcew it— I felt It," he responded 5 eagerly. " Lore Is not. the slow, vege- " table like growth of yeata. It does not ' leisurely step of m man working by the ' seesion. It does not need lo be Jerked ' to, ae it were. It needs not be agonised 1 whiskers, my darling. It la here! You L* wIU forgive my presumption, wUl you 9 not, and speak the words that tremble on pottr lips— Urn words that wUl fill my • cop of joy to overflowing?" The evening had passed like a beaull- * fnl dream. Mr. Danielle, admonished ' by the cWcY that It waa time to go, had E risen reluelanUy to hto feet, and stood holding the hand of hto beautiful bc- " My love," he mid. to eager, passion. 1 ate accents, » now that you have hies- " sect my life with a measureless, incffsble ' luv. sn<l made all mv future radient Joy, made all

' with golden hope, you will not think I | am asking too much If I plead for just " What to It ? " shy ly responded the " Please tell me your first name ?" , Within a few years Fiji has become British, enormous provinces on tho ( north-west frontier of India "and the } whole kingdom of Upper Burmeh. tbo foundations have been laid of a great colony to Borneo, )whleh will One day, probably, absorb the whole Island. Half the enormous Island of New Guinea, , almost a continent to extent, hesbeeome r de jure if not de facto, the territory of c the queen. Great tract! of land. Including the whole of Zulaltnd, have been i acquired to South Africa- Advance has been made on the Congo. Egypt to to English control. Berber and Khartoum seem likely to become British. Cyprus will harJIr return to Turkey, and to ' South America British possessions hsve ' been extended.— Liverpool Jfsrrary. i The Sorrow That Followed tho Joy. e "Yea," the sold at heeakfsmt table this i- morning, "i am glad Thanksgiving to " °*"whyr hi aakrd. "Because," she replied, "beeausa i l con .now begin reminding you that " Christmas to coming and that 1 need a sealskin aacque. "-Philadelphia Unit.

So Awfutty runny. , Look at that drunken man I isn't It . awfully funny to see him reeling along , the street, now on this aide and now on j the other ? There he goes kerslam up 1 against the jam p. poet I It's enough to „ make one die of laughter I UeUo I he c has fallen flat into the gutter I See him 2 waUow to the mud I Isn't It exexudms ttogly diverting ? nonsense I It's aa r good aa a play I What exquisite humor , you erer hear anything half so funny ?, t Just watch hto eyes! How wild they look I If one did not know he wie only drunk, one might think htm a madman. Great fun, isn't it ? , Wonder if he's going home ? Hto wife I Is probably waiting for htm. What fun . lo see ber when ho tumbles into the X house! How laughable to see the tears B faU from her streaming eyes I How dlverting lo scan her pinched face, with its look of nngtttoh and long suffering. . Perhaps she thinks, as she sees him toI night, of tho bright, clean anil handsome . young man who won her heart not ao „ many yoara ago I And now look at tho , contrast I That sodden face, those torn f and soiled clothes, that meaningless jarjolly? , Look at the leant supper that to tpresd I Utile ones are eyidcnUy suffering from , should succor them goes into the rum- , dealer's till ; the money which should { buy them decent anil comfortable cloth- . tog to offered up to the demon drink I D It'a enough to split one's sides. It's too s funny for snythiog I I And see hto little cbUdren I How they . hide away in the corners and behind anyt thing that offers to escape hto obacrvm- . Sec him charing the little fellow around the room I Will lie hit him with that hit

botUe? Yes— no I hto wife has caught dragging ber along after hltn I See I ho has turned upon her I He hits her with the bottle I Bee how the blood Howe still she lice, be has kUled her I Scs the children as they gather about their 3asf mother ! Look at their scared And look at him. their father I See hto daxed, idiotic store I Hark I Somebody's at the door I It Is Uie police. They drag him off to the Jail 1 Think o( the Think ot the orphaned children 1 Oh. there to nothing to tbto world half so funny as a drunken man. No wonder laugh at hint aa ho pitches along tbo Thanksgiving day was suggested, doubtless, hy the llshrew feast of the the end of the year." Its history In America begin, as early as 1831. Tho occasions! observance of such a day, I formally recommended by the clril suae earlier date. In Holland tho flrat annlvcriary of the deliverance of the city of Lcydrn from the sclgc. October 2d, , thanksgiving and praise- lo tho Eng- ' I Ish church service the 5th of November I is so celebrated, to commcmortloo of the discovery of the gun-powder ploL One I of the most remarkable of thanksgiving ampton soil Easlhampton, L I. Mou- , tnuk Foint, which consist! of 8000 acres i was owned by numerous proprietors to I pasturage for stock. Tho lime of driv- ! the herds home to winter su fixed . st s meeting of the Town Council, "and I it came," Mys the historian, "to be a rule, from the period beyond which tho i memory of man runneth not that tho

|( Thursday of the week following the re. y turn of the cattle from Montauk should lt be oWrred aa a day ot thanksgiving." % At an early period of New England hto- „ tory certain periods of prosperity were r_ often made the occasions of public „ thanksgivings, or feasts, sod often a day r of fasting and prayer waa turned Into a >• day of thanksgiving hy what seemed an A Immediate answer to their prayers.— Table Talk. 11 Tho Pump Was Out of Ordor. * "Beg perdon, sir," he said aa he e stopped a citizen on Michigan avenue, Jj "but does this svenue lead lo Dear- ^ "Itdoea." " "And to the poot-koure?" u ,.W u "Thanks. I am on my way to that 10 Institution." y "Yes." "Got to go out tbeie aa a pauper." "Yes." ' "I shall probably die out there aa my ' spirit to broken and my amblllon gone," 'j "Very likely, hut tboy have a nice oemetery there." " "If I had a dollar I think I could keep myself until I found work, and would not be obliged to go," continued I the man. * "But you uavento the dollar?"

"I thought noL Just keep right on 11 walking and you'll get out there by_ nighL Very nice place. Part of it is on " insane asylum, and then there's the cemetery I spoke of. Good day." . The citizen walked on, and the other shuffled around a corner, where a companion to waiting asked : I "WeU, did he play?" o "Yea." "How much?" , "Played me for a foot. We'd better 0 try aome other dodge. Thto to no crowd for sympathy. j A Sound Lagal Opinion. • e. BsinbrtHge Mttnday, &tq., County 1 Atty., Clay Co., Texas, says: "Have 1- used Electric Bitters with meet happy 0 results. My brother also was vary tow s with Malarial Fever and Jaundice, but n wee cured by timely use of this medln dne. Am satisfied Electric Bitters saved a hto Ufa." „ Mr. i-. Wilcoxaon, of Hone Cave, . Ky., adds a like testimony, saytegt He postlvely believes he wotfid hsve died, had It not been for Electric Bitten. The great remedy wUl ward off, aa weU aa cure all Mriaria, Diseases, and for ill Kidney, Liver awl Stomach dto. i, orders slamis unequaled. Price 80c. " tad 0l el Mercy JaMecray'i. 0 Customer (lo bead waiter)—" Hare, sir, thto clumsy fellow has spUtod onr half of my eup of tea down my book." It Head Walter (to clumsy waiter rinrnly>-^-" Bring thto gentleman a cup of i too Thstanly."— n. t. Sun.