THE MAN WHO LAUGHS.

REV. DR. TALMAGE ON THE LAUGHTER OF THE BIBLE.

Sarah's Laugh and David's Smile--The Merriment of Dissipation--The Laugh of Triumph and the Laugh of Scorn--Skepticism, Exultation and Triumph.

BROOKLYN, July 15.--Rev. Dr. Talmage, who is now in Australia on his round the world journey, as selected as the subject for his sermon through the press today "Laughter," the text being taken from Psalm cxxvi, 2, "Then was our mouth filled with laughter," and Psalm ii, 4, "He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh." Thirty-eight times does the Bible make reference to this configuration of the features and quick expulsion of breath which we call laughter. Sometimes it is born of the sunshine and sometimes the midnight. Sometimes it stirs the sympathy of angels and sometimes the cachinnation of devils. All healthy people laugh. Whether it pleases the Lord or displeases him, that depends upon when we laugh and at what we laugh. My theme today is the laughter of the Bible--namely, Sarah's laugh, or that of skepticism; David's laugh, or that of spiritual exultation; the fool's laugh, or that of sinful merriment; God's laugh, or that of infinite condemnation; heaven's laugh, or that of eter-

nal triumph.

Various Kinds of Laughter.

Scene, an oriental tent. The occupants, old Abraham and Sarah, perhaps wrinkled and decrepit. Their three guests are three angels, the Lord Almighty one of them. In return for the hospitality shown by the old people God promises Sarah that she shall become the ancestress of the Lord Jesus Christ. Sarah laughs in the face of God. She does not believe it. She is affrighted at what she has done. She denies it. She says, "I did not laugh." Then God retorted with an emphasis that silenced all disputation, "But thou didst laugh." My friends, the laugh of skepticism in all ages is only the echo of Sarah's laughter. God says he will accomplish a thing, and men say it cannot be done. A great multitude laugh at the miracles.

They say they are contrary to the laws

of nature. What is a law of nature? It is God's way of doing a thing. You ordinarily cross a river at one ferry. Tomorrow you change for one day, and you go across another ferry. You made the rule. Have you not the right to change it? You ordinarily come in at that door of the church. Suppose that next Sabbath you come in at the other door. It is a habit you have. Have you not a right to change your habit? A law of nature is God's habit--his way of doing things. If he makes the law, has he not a right to change it at any time

he wants to change it?

Alas! for the folly of those who laugh at God when he says, "I will do a thing," they responding, "You can't do it." God says that the Bible is true--it is all true. Bishop Colenso laughs, Herbert Spencer laughs, Stuart Mill laughs, great German universities laugh, Harvard laughs--softly. A great many of the learned institutions, with long rows of professors seated on the fence between Christianity and infidel-

ity, laugh softly. They say, "We didn't laugh." That was Sarah's trick. God thunders from the heavens, "But thou didst laugh!" The garden of Eden was only a fable. There never was any ark

built, or if it was built it was too small to have two of every kind. The pillar of fire by night was only the northern lights, the 10 plagues of Egypt only a brilliant specimen of jugglery. The sea parted because the wind blew violently a great while from one direction. The sun and moon did not put themselves out of the way for Joshua. Jacob's lad-

der was only horizontal and picturesque clouds. The destroying angel smiting the firstborn in Egypt was only cholera infantum become epidemic. The gullet of the whale, by positive measurement, too small to swallow a prophet. The story of the immaculate conception a shock

to all decency. The lame, the dumb, the blind, the halt, cured by mere human surgery. The resurrection of Christ's friend only a beautiful tableau, Christ and Lazarus and Mary and Mar-

tha acting their parts well. My friends, there is not a doctrine or statement of God a holy word that has not been de-

rided by the skepticism of the day.

Skeptics and the Bible.

I take up this book of King James translation. I consider it a perfect Bible, but here are skeptics who want it torn to pieces. And now, with this Bible in my hand, let me tear out all those por-

tions which the skepticism of this day demands shall be torn out. What shall go first? "Well," says some one in the audience, "take out all that about the creation and about the first settlement of the world." Away goes Genesis.

"Now," says some one, "take out all that about the miraculous guidance of the children of Israel in the wilderness."

Away goes Exodus. "Now," says some one else in the audience, "there are things in Deuteronomy and Kings that are not fit to be read." Away go Deu-

teronomy and the Kings. "Now," says some one, "the book of Job is a fable that ought to come out." Away goes the book of Job. "Now," says some one, "those passages in the New Testament which imply the divinity of Jesus Christ ought to come out." Away go the evangelists. "Now," says some one, "the book of Revelation--how prepos-

terous! It represents a man with the moon under his feet and a sharp sword in his hand." Away goes the book of Revelation. Now there are a few pieces left. What shall we do with them?

"Oh," says some man in the audience, "I don't believe a word in the Bible, from one end to the other." Well, it is all gone. Now you have put out the last light for the nations. Now it is the pitch darkness of eternal midnight. How do you like it?

But I think, my friends, we had better keep the Bible a little longer intact.

It has done pretty well for a good many years. Then there are old people who find it a comfort to have it on their laps, and children like the stories in it. Let us keep it for a curiosity anyhow.

If the Bible is to be thrown out of the school and out of the courtroom, so that men no more swear by it, and it is to be put in a dark corridor of the city li-

brary, the Koran on one side and the writings of Confucius on the other, then let us each one keep a copy for himself, for we might have trouble, and we would want to be under the delusions of its consolations, and we might die, and we would one the delusion of the ex-

alted residence of God's right hand, which it mentions. Oh, what an awful thing it is to laugh in God's face and hurl his Revelation back at him! After awhile the day will come when they will say they did not laugh. Then all the hypercriticisms, all the caricatures and all the learned sneers in the quarterly reviews will be brought to judg-

ment, and amid the rocking of every-

thing beneath and amid the flaming of everything above God will thunder, "But thou didst laugh!" I think the most fascinating laughter at Christianity I ever remember was a man in New England. He made the word of God seem ridiculous, and he laughed on at our holy religion until he came to die, and then he said: "My life has been a failure--a failure domestically. I have no children. A failure socially, for I am treated in the streets like a pirate.

A failure professionally because I know but one minister that has adopted my sentiments." For a quarter of a century he laughed at Christianity, and ever since Christianity has been laughing at him. Now, it is a mean thing to

go into a man's house and steal his goods, but I tell you the most gigantic burglary ever invented is the proposition to steal these treasurers of our holy re-

ligion. The meanest laughter ever uttered is the laugh of the skeptic.

David's Laugh. The next laughter mentioned in the Bible is David's laughter, or the expres-

sion of spiritual exultation. "Then was our mouth filled with laughter." He got very much down sometimes, but there are other chapters where for four or five times he calls upon the people to praise and exult. It was not a mere twitch of the lips--it was a demonstra-

tion that took hold of his whole physical nature. "Then was our mouth filled with laughter." My friends, this world will never be converted to God until Christians cry less and laugh and sing more. The horrors are a poor bait. If people are to be persuaded to adopt our holy religion, it will be because they have made up their minds it is a happy religion. They don't like a morbid Christianity. I know there are morbid people who enjoy a funeral. They come early to see the friends take leave of the corpse, and they steal a ride to the ceme-

tery, but all healthy people enjoy a wedding better than they do a burial.

Now, you make the religion of Christ sepulchral and hearselike, and you make it repulsive. I say plant the rose of Sharon along the church walks and columbine to clamber over the church wall, and have a smile on the lip, and have the mouth filled with holy laugh-

ter. There is no man in the world except the Christian, that has the right to feel an untrammeled glee. He is prom-

ised everything is to be for the best here, and he is on the way to a delight which will take all the processions with palm branches and all the orchestras harped and cymbaled and trumpeted to

express. "Oh," you say, "I have so much trouble." Have you more trouble than Paul had? What does he say?

"Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing. Poor, yet making many rich. Having nothing, yet possessing all things." The merriest laugh I think I have ever heard has been in the sickroom of God's dear children. When Theodosius was put upon the rack, he suffered very great torture at the first.

Somebody asked him how he endured all that pain on the rack. He replied:

"When I was first put on the rack, I suffered a great deal, but very soon a young man in white stood by my side, and with a soft and comfortable handkerchief he wiped the sweat from my brow, and my pains were relieved. It was a punishment for me to get from the rack, because when the pain was all gone the angel was gone." Oh, rejoice evermore! You know how it is in the army--an army in encampment. If to-

day news comes that our side has had a defeat, and tomorrow another portion of the tidings comes, saying we have had another defeat, it demoralizes all the host. But if the news comes of victory today and victory tomorrow the whole army is impassioned for the contest. Now, in the kingdom of our Lord Jesus Christ report fewer defeats tells us the victories--victory over sin and death and hell. Rejoice evermore, and again I say rejoice. I believe there is more religion in a laugh than in a groan.

Anybody can groan, but to laugh in the midst of banishment and persecution and indescribable trial, that required a David, a Daniel, a Paul, a modern heroine.

The Laugh of a Fool.

The next laughter mentioned in the Bible that I shall speak of is the fool's laughter, or the expression of sinful merriment. Solomon was very quick at simile. When he makes a comparison,

we all catch it. What is the laughter of a fool like? He says, "It is the crackling of thorns under a pot." The kettle is swung, and the torch is applied to it, and there is a great noise, and a big blaze, and a sputter, and a quick extin-

guishment. Then it is darker than it was before. Fool's laughter. The most miserable thing on earth is a bad man's fun. There they are--10 men in a bar-

room. They have at home wives, mothers, daughters, The impure jest starts at one corner of the barroom, and crackle, crackle, crackle it goes all around.

In 500 such guffaws there is not one item of happiness. They all feel bemeaned if they have any conscience left. Have nothing to do with men or women who tell immoral stories. I have no confidence either in their Christian character or their morality. So all merriment that springs out of the defects of others--caricature of a lame foot, or a curved spine, or a blind eye, or a deaf ear--will be met with the judgment of God, either upon you or upon your children. Twenty years ago I knew a man who was particularly skillful in imitating the lameness of a neighbor. Not long ago a son of the skillful mimic had his leg amputated for the very defect which his father had mimicked years before. I do not say it was a judgment of God. I leave you to make your own inference. So all merriment born of dissipation, that which starts at the counter of the drinking restaurant or from the wineglass in the home circle, the maudlin simper, the meaningless joke, the saturnalian gibberish, the paroxism [sic] of mirth about nothing which you sometimes see in the fashionable clubroom or the exquisite

parlor at 12 o'clock at night, are the crackling of thorns under a pot. Such laughter and such sin end in death.

When I was a lad, a book came out entitled, "Dow Junior's Patent Sermons." It made a great stir, a very wide laugh, all over the country, that book did. It was a caricature of the Christian ministy [sic], and of the word of God, and of the day of judgment. Oh, we had a great laugh! The commentary on the whole thing is that the author of that book died in poverty, shame, debauchery, kicked out of society and cursed of Almighty God. The laughter of such men is the echo of their own damnation. The Laugh of the Almighty. The next laughter that I shall mention as being in the Bible is the laugh of God's condemnation. "He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh." Again, "The Lord will laugh at him." Again, "I will laugh at his calamity." With such demonstration will God greet every kind of great sin and wickedness. But men build up villainies higher and higher. Good men almost pity God because he is so schemed against by men. Suddenly a pin drops out of the machinery of wickedness or a secret is revealed, and the foundation begins to rock. Finally the whole thing is demolished. What is the matter? I will tell you what the matter is. That crash of ruin is only the reverberation of God's laughter. In the money market there are a great many good men and a great many fraudulent men. A fraudulent man there says, "I mean to have my million." He goes to work reckless of honesty, and he gets his first $100,000. He gets after awhile his $200,000. After awhile he gets his $500,000. "Now," he says, "I have only one more move to make, and

I shall have my million." He gathers up all his resources. He makes that one last grand move, he fails and loses all, and he has not enough money of his own left to pay the cost of the car to his home.

People cannot understand this spasmodic revulsion. Some said it was a sudden turn in Erie railway stock, or in Western Union, or in Illinois Central; some said one thing and some another. They all guessed wrong. I will tell you what it was. "He that sitteth in the heavens laughed." A man in New York said he would be the richest man in the city. He left his honest work as a mechanic and got into the city councils some way and in 10 years stole $15,000,000 from the city government. Fifteen million dollars! He held the legislature of the state of New York in the grip of his right hand. Suspicions were aroused. The grand jury presented indictments. The whole land stood aghast. The man who expected to put half the city in his vest pocket goes to Blackwell's island, goes to Ludlow street jail, breaks prison and goes across the sea, is rearrested and brought back and again remanded to jail. Why? "He that sitteth in the heavens laughed."

Rome was a great empire. She had Horace and Virgil among her poets; she had Augustus and Constantine among her emperors. But what mean the defaced Pantheon, and the Forum turned into a cattle market, and the broken walled Coliseum, and the architectural skeleton of her great aqueducts? What was that thunder?

"Oh," you say, "that was the roar of the battering rams against her walls." No. What was that quiver? "Oh," you say, "that was the tramp of hostile legions." No. The quiver and the roar were the outburst of omnipotent laughter from the defied and insulted heavens. Rome defied God, and he laughed her down. Thebes defied God, and he laughed her down. Nineveh defied God,

and he laughed her down. Babylon defied God, and he laughed her down.

There is a great difference between God's laugh and his smile. His smile is eternal beatitude. He smiled when David sang, and Miriam clapped the cymbals, and Hannah made garments for her son, and Paul preached, and John kindled with apocalyptic vision, and when any man has anything to do and does it well. His smile! Why, it is the 15th of May, the apple orchards in full bloom; it is morning breaking on a rippling sea; it is heaven at high noon, all the bells beating the marriage peal. But his

laughter--may it never fall on us! It is a condemnation for our sins; it is a wasting away.

The Scoffers at Truth.

We may let the satirist laugh at us, and all our companions may laugh at us, and we may be made the target for the merriment of earth and hell, but

God forbid that we should ever come to the fulfillment of the prophecy against the rejectors of the truth. "I will laugh at your calamity." But, my friends, all of us who reject Christ and the pardon of the gospel must come under that tremendous bombardment. God wants us all to repent. He counsels, he coaxes, he importunes, and he dies for us. He comes down out of heaven. He puts all the world's sin on one shoulder, he puts all the world's sorrow on the other

shoulder, and then with that Alp on one side and that Himalaya on the other he starts up the hill back of Jerusalem to achieve our salvation. He puts the palm of his right foot on one long spike, and he puts the palm of his left foot on another long spike, and then, with his hands spotted with his own

blood, he gesticulates, saying: "Look, look and live. With the crimson veil of my sacrifice I will cover up all your sins; with my dying groan I will swallow up all your groans. Look! Live!" But a thousand of you turn your back on that, and then this voice of invitation turns to a tone divinely ominous, that sobs like a simoom through the first chapter of Proverbs, "Because I have called and ye refused, I have stretched out my right hand, and no man regarded, but ye have set at naught all my counsel and would none of my reproof, I, also, will laugh at your calamity."

Oh, what a laugh that is--a deep laugh, a long, reverberating laugh, an overwhelming laugh. God grand we may never hear it. But in this day of merciful visitation yield your heart to Christ, that you may spend all your life on earth under his smile and escape forever the thunder of the laugh of God's indignation.

The Laugh of Triumph.

The other laughter mentioned in the Bible, the only one I shall speak of, is heaven's laughter, or the expression of eternal triumph. Christ staid to his disciples, "Blessed are ye that weep now, for ye shall laugh." That makes me

know positively that we are not to spend our days in heaven singing long meter psalms. The formalistic and stiff no-

tions of heaven that some people have would make me miserable. I am glad to know that the heaven of the Bible is not only a place of holy wor-

ship, but of magnificent sociality. "What," say you, "will the ringing laugh go around the circles of the

saved?" I say yes--pure laughter, cheering laughter, holy laughter. It

will be a laugh of congratulation. When we meet a friend who has suddenly come to a fortune, or who has got over some dire sickness, do we not shake

hands, do we not laugh with him? And when we get to heaven and see our friends there, some of them having come up out of great tribulation, why, we will say to one of them, "The last time I saw you you had been suffering for six weeks under a low intermittent fever," or to another we will say: "You for 10 years were limping with the rheumatism, and you were full of complaints when we saw you last. I congratulate you on this eternal recovery." We shall laugh. Yes, we shall congratulate all those who have come out of great financial embarrassments in this world because they have become millionaires in heaven. Ye shall laugh. It shall be a laugh of reassociation. It is just as natural for us to laugh when we meet a friend we have not seen for 10 years as anything is possible to be natural. When we meet our friends from whom we have been parted 10 or 20 or 30 years, will it not be with infinite congratulation? Our perception quickened, our knowledge improved, we will know each other at a flash. We will have to talk over all that has happened since we have been separated, the one that has been 10 years in heaven telling us all that has happened in the 10 years of his heavenly residence, and we telling him in return all that has happened during the 10 years of his absence from earth. Ye shall laugh. I think George Whitefield and John Wesley will have a laugh of contempt for their earthly collisions, and Toplady and Charles Wesley will have a laugh of contempt for their earthly misunderstandings, and the two farmers who were in a lawsuit all their days will have a laugh of contempt over their earthly disturbance about a line fence. Exemption from all annoyance. Immersion in all gladness. Ye shall laugh. Christ says so. Ye shall laugh. Yes, it will be a laugh of triumph. Oh, what a pleasant thing it will be to stand on the wall of heaven and look down at satan and hurl at him defiance and see him caged and chained and we forever free from his clutches! Aha! Yes, it will be a laugh of royal greeting.

Five Prayerful Wishes. You know how the Frenchmen cheered when Napoleon came back from Elba; you know how the English cheered when Wellington came back from Waterloo; you know how Americans cheered when Kossuth arrived from Hungary; you remember how Rome cheered when Pompey came back vic-

tor over 900 cities. Every cheer was a laugh. But, oh, the mightier greeting, the gladder greeting, when the snow

white cavalry troop of heaven shall go through the streets, and, according to the book of Revelation, Christ in the red coat, the crimson coat, on a white horse, and all the armies of heaven fol-

lowing him on white horses! Oh, when we see and hear that cavalcade we shall cheer, we shall laugh! Does not your heart beat quickly at the thought of the

great jubilee upon which we are soon to enter? I pray God that when we get through with this world and are going out of it we may have some such vision

as the dying Christian had when he saw written over all the clouds in the

sky the letter "W," and they asked him, standing by his side, what he thought that letter "W" meant. "Oh," he said, "that stands for welcome."

And so may it be when we quit this world. "W" on the gate, "W" on the door of the mansion, "W" on the throne. Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! I have preached this sermon with five prayerful wishes--that you might see what a mean thing is the laugh of skepticism, what a bright thing is the laugh of spiritual exultation, what a hollow thing is the laugh of sinful merriment, what an awful thing is the laugh of condemnation, what a radiant, rubicund thing is the laugh of eternal triumph. Avoid the ill; choose the right. Be comforted. "Blessed are ye that weep now--ye shall laugh; ye shall laugh."

The Toad In the Moon.

The red men who inhabit the whole western continent between the Rocky mountains and the Cascade range believe that the spots on Luna's face represent the form of a gigantic toad, and tell the following story to substantiate their queer ideas:

In time long past a little wolf, being desperately in love with a toad, went a wooing one night and prayed that the moon might shine brightly on his adventure. His prayer was granted, and by the clear light of the moon he was pursuing the toad and had almost caught her when, as a last chance she made a desperate spring for

the face of the moon (which appeared much nearer than common) and succeeded in

reaching that luminary, where she sets until this day in plain view of all the wolves of the world, which nightly howl in their ag-

ony whenever they think of how the toad outwitted their ancestor.--St. Louis Republic.

Modern Methods of Entertaining. When people meet for mutual entertainment and are so unutterably bored that they have to call in some man or woman who makes a business of being amusing to help them out, what is to become of the

whole scheme of human association? The clever variety artists who have lately been "doing their acts" at private entertainments are very well worth seeing, but why they should be grafted on to the dinner or garden party? Can the exertions of a strong man or a skirt dancer vicariously promote digestion? Why should a hostess think it worth while to offer her guests a form of entertainment which the proletariat witnesses nightly for 25 cents a head?--Kate Field's Washington.

Eating Oranges. In southern Europe the peasants always eat fruit in its natural shape and never think of treating it to do [?] sugar, salt or other seasoning. Around Naples and in

Malaga the people bite a hole in the orange, suck out the juice and then throw the orange away. Small American people often

do the same, but of course the American must try his hand at improving nature, so

he puts a lump of sugar in it. An orange planter thinks such a thing desecration.-- Pittsburg Dispatch.

Monkeys, as is well known, are like cats in their dread of getting wet. On shipboard you may have often laughed to see them scampering from a heavy spray as it dashed over the deck, or huddling together under the [?] of the long boat during a passing shower.

New Orleans, with a population of over 242,000, is said by The National Police Reporter to have a most inade-

quate police force. The city is patrolled at night by not over 86 men and by day by 82 men. During last year two members of the force were murdered and 14 seriously injured in the discharge of their duties.

GREAT IN SPRING AND SUMMER CLOTHING, Hats, Caps and Gents Furnishing Goods,

AT M. MENDEL'S RELIABLE ONE PRICE STORE.

1625 ATLANTIC AVENUE, ATLANTIC CITY, N. J. Children's Nobby Clothing a Specialty. A Banjo Souvenier Given Away with every Child's Suit.

ODDS AND ENDS.

"The Iliad in a Nutshell" is mentioned by Pliny as having been seen by Cicero.

Roman treaties, laws and public documents of importance were written on tablets of brass.

The tongue is mightier than the sword when it comes to cutting remarks.--Galveston News.

For over 100 years St. Helena was a most important calling station for vessels bound for India.

Tunis is under French protection, and although the boy nominally rules the government is administered by a French resident.

Richmond has grown so fast that some of the fortifications constructed outside of the city during the war are now within the city limits.

A New York cigar dealer recently advertised for a live Indian to act as a sign, and 1,000 men of all colors and all nationalities applied for the job. While "making up" for an entertainment at Chattanooga some powder passed through the nostrils of William Cameron to his lungs, causing his death. There lives near Winston, N. C., a little girl, 6 years old, who plays on any musical instrument at sight. She has never had a music lesson and is a prodigy. Maybridge, the pioneer investigator of animal locomotion by means of instantaneous photographs, announces that he will soon turn his attention to the flight of insects and birds. Here is an advertisement from The Australasian: "If Hubert Lynott, my husband, does not return and support me within three months from this date, I intend to remarry. Florence Emilie Lynott." Queen Victoria has presented Herr Voigt, the bandmaster of her Prussian Dragoon guards, with a gold pencil case, set with brilliants, and has given 3,000 marks for distribution among the men of the squadron.

Queen Victoria has presented Herr Voigt, the bandmaster of her Prussian Dragoon guards, with a gold pencil case, set with brilliants, and has given 3,000 marks for distribution among the men of the squadron.

The London Vanity Fair says: "Five years ago Rudyard Kipling left India to see China, Japan and America, after which he came to London and got married. He has now made his home in Vermont of Central America." A restaurant keeper in Detroit found a gold locket imbedded in the center of a cake of ice one day last week. It contained the picture of a beautiful wom-

an. Every feature save the mouth was classic. The smile that was frozen on her lips gave the face an expression of cruelty.

Fiddled For Snakes to Dance.

"Uncle" Henry Harrison of Union county, Texas, tells the following snake story, which is vouched for by all his neighbors:

Several years ago an Italian, Joe de Novo by name, bought a small tract of mountain land about 30 miles from Caryville. Without repairing the cabin, he and his wife moved into it. They were childless and had little to do with their neighbors. The man went once a month to the country store that was near by to make the necessary purchases. Things went on this way until some hunters, overtaken by a storm late one afternoon, were forced to seek refuge in his cabin. The rain continuing unabated, they were forced to remain into the night. After supper the Italian got down his fiddle and began to play low and plaintively. In a short while a huge rattlesnake appeared upon the hearth, then another and another, until no less than seven wriggling serpents were in sight. The hunters were terribly alarmed, but De Novo bade them be quiet and watch.

The snakes seemed filled with the wildest ecstasy. If the music was low and soft, they would move in graceful curves like the mazes of the waltz; if it was loud and quick, their movements were quick. At all times they kept the most perfect time. If the music ceased, they would rush from sight, but would return immediately upon its resumption. Numbers visited the Italian to witness this sight. Lately De Novo died. After the burial the woman sold out and returned to her native country, the cabin was torn down, and the rattlers disappeared.--Louisville Courier-Journal.

Burned Zulus Dreaded the Ice. "The natives of the tropical countries

are seldom so much astonished as they are when first introduced to snow and ice," said E. A. Forester of Chicago.

"While the World's fair was in progress I saw a joke played upon two members of a Zulu band which was greatly enjoyed and appreciated by all present except the Zulus themselves. The manager of their tribe, whom I knew inti-

mately, knowing that none of Zulus had ever seen any ice, thought it would be great fun to see how they would act when brought in contact with it. He accordingly told two of them that he wished them to go down town with him. He informed me what he was going to do and invited me to accompany him, which I did. We stopped at the office of one of the large breweries, and after explaining our errand were readily granted permission to go through the icehouse. "On arriving at the door of the icehouse we all entered, the Zulus, who were barefooted, following close behind. All along the walls inside great cakes of ice were piled. My friend, the manager, climbed up on top of the cakes and told the Zulus to follow him. They obeyed. When the cold chill of the ice struck their bare feet, they didn't know what to make of it. They looked at one another for a minute and jabbered some-

thing in their outlandish tongue. They stood it for about a minute, then, giving vent to a yell, they sprang to the ground, and rushing to the door threw them-

selves on the ground outside, where they lay writhing about, nursing their feet and insisting that they had been se-

verely burned."--St. Louis Globe-Dem-

ocrat.

Femininity of a Canoe. A canoe is considered by many to be more decidedly feminine than any other craft. She is coy, she has pretty little coquettish ways, and she is a store of perpetual surprises. "Beware, take care; she is foolish[?] there[?]"

Perhaps because she is a kindred spirit the canoe is particularly suited to wom-

an's use. A canoe must be made a friend, and it cannot be driven, but must be led.

A canoe is a shy water sprite, any violent or sudden action frightens her, and if she is displeased she throws one over board.--Hou-

ston Advertiser.

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Y. CORSON, REAL ESTATE AGENT, AND LICENSED AUCTIONEER, No. 721 Asbury Avenue, OCEAN CITY, N. J. Properties for sale. Boarding Houses and Cottages for Rent in all parts of the city. Correspondence solicited.

WM. LAKE, C. E., REAL ESTATE AGENT, Surveying, Conveyancing, Commissioner of Deeds, Notary Public, Master in Chancery. Sec'y Ocean City Building and Loan Association. Lots for Sale or Exchange. Houses to rent, furnished or unfurnished. Deeds, Bonds, Mortgages, Wills and Contracts carefully drawn. Abstracts of titles carefully prepared. Experience of more than twenty-five years. Office--Sixth Street and Asbury Avenue. P. O. Box 825. WM. LAKE.

E. B. LAKE, SUPERINTENDENT OF OCEAN CITY ASSOCIATION From its Organization, and also REAL ESTATE AGENT

Having thousands of Building Lots for sale at various prices, Some very Cheap and located in all parts of Ocean City. Now is the time to purchase property before the second railroad comes, as then property will greatly advance. I have a good many Inquiries for Property between 6th and 12th streets. Any one having property for sale might do well to give me their prices. All persons desiring to Buy, or Sell, or Exchange property, would do well before closing any transaction to call on or address

E. B. LAKE,

Association Office, No. 601 Asbury Ave., Ocean City, N. J.

DESIRABLE

COTTAGES FOR SALE OR RENT.

If you intend visiting the seashore the coming

season, call on or write

R. CURTIS ROBINSON, REAL ESTATE AND INSURANCE AGENT, 744 ASBURY AVENUE, OCEAN CITY, N. J.

who has on hand a number of desirable furnished and unfurnished cottages. Full information given on application.

Building lots for sale in every section of the city. Insurance written by first class Companies. Come and see me before insuring elsewhere.

Money to loan on Bond and Mortgage on Improved Property.