VOL. XX OCEAN CITY SENTINEL, OCEAN CITE,*, j., R. C. ROBiraX, Elilirul pumelot,

OCEAN CITY. N. J„ THURSDAY. MARCH 7, 1901.

Uutlj c:

••Oh. !

NO. 48.

Klr« HsMUt < liulrli. A*mn aTrotM, brIwi^n Klclilli »o«» Klnlh «tn>U. JUT. John rocb” TuoMUj 'rTTBlDf. "l-rmyrr inaTUnz. •ssg-ssfess

Chnrrh of lb. Holj- T'11U^. ^rrou*!.° 1 .bare*. Holj Communion. fc.<0 a. m.: i

jgSffggTK

CaOa. m. tfanMirtion, » p. m.

afnl. Mu'iaTln'

iMitm' AnilllarT nortMy nun. Brat Monda) .v.nln* o. M.fa month. Prmld.nl. "tSJrtMlan Endmvor mrUI) mmu rt Bandar-.vralaa at (Ak i-.mid.nl. I. Hmllb; oorrmUodln* arnmUD. Ml-

6. THOMAS. No. 108 Market St. PHILADELPHIA, Fine Faniljj Groceries.

LOW FltXOEJS.

3 # T. ABBOTT, M. D., PhyBirlan and Hargeon. OFFICE —Corief Ceilni ud EUtU SlretL

ornci mouhb

I). H. SA.ME*SOIV, Stoves, Heaters,Ranges, PUMPS, SINKS, &.C., 408-10 Asbi/ry Avenue. OCEAN CITY. N,.l.

J. T. BRYAN, PUCTIUl PLUIBER ud CIS FITTER' ■err BMa- are., rhiind.iphia I^^Md In—Firm. Pimbp.. ( K|J r^blS I 1nd' 1 °r.*«ar. • ^-clall). Ordrr. b) nil prompti) alund—l Id. Edw. T. Marshall KiaaBKiat: « tiabmiai.i. PRACTICAL Seashore Painter ia 5 8 WEST AVENUE. OCEAN CITV. N. J.

RALPH L. GOFF, CIVIL ENGINEER. SaRVEYOR. CONVEYANGER. NINTH AND CENTRAL AVENUE, OCEAN CITY, N. J. Ki.At. ebtati: and lant'aANcE. ISRAEL D. ADAMS & €0. Real Estate ■ Insorance .A O-ETTSTTS, Rddds 1.4 11, RmI Eitile t Liw Botldlid. ATLANTIC CITV. N.J. (Vimmimlooera at Deeda for Penn-

HEADQUARTERS FOR Seal Estate aim iDsu«e, CONVEYANCING. ETC.. AT CHARLES P. LAKE’S

JOSEPH SUTTON

Conreiiaflcing. Real Estate Insorance, Mortgages - and Collections

Hsht-

W. L. BERRY, Manufacturing Jeweler, NO. »a SOUTH SECOND ST.. miadclaMIB. rm.

R. R. SOOY ASON Restaurant and Lunch Rooms 24, IS tad S SOUTH miFTH fT«KT PHILADELPHIA. PA. FBICCB BCABPNABl* H ISM SSAPf PCATS A SPICIALT* i. c ’ ( ■ OINIIIS PASLOS •• Hnnsnn Y eUHTOH A CD., ■err BRUSHES, I0M I11UT. Ud I L TUTI IT., ran .pn»pa««a. pa.

Samuel Schurch _ REAL ESTATE L: — AND INSURANCE 701 isturj in , Octu ItJ, I. J.

JOSEPH M. CORSON Real Estate Agent PALERMO. N. J.

HENRI A. W. SMITH i—m«i« mi. i—unpractical Plumber S46 Anburjr Avenue OCEAN CITY, N. J.

She pm the crest on

mnn'i t.uttoni anil on ■ eenth blnbdaj'. and If any ■

or* eipn-ucd any curiotity euneern-

liic the rapier or the dlncy plemi Ibe lower muikei *he wa« alway* Ins to tell all abe knew a boot The two stria were prond of tbelr blood In the same desree or el

Utile more eo. Tom took It a* a matter

of course. Just as hi* father dldOnc reanon that Mr*. Coomer and

girls detested Crary was that he t always making slighting remarks about the family pedigree and escutcheon. He didn't mean any harm by It. but he bad a reputation for Jocularity and had to anstain IL Noticing that klra. Coomer winced one day when he spoke disrespectfully of one of Ihe pictures, be thereafter prodded the tender spot on all possible occasions. If anybody was In Ibe library for the first time and noticed the tree and the coat Crary would get np and look at them through his eyeglasses as

If be had never seen them before.

"What kind of a beast Is that rubbernecking on tbe shield?" be would ask.

•That's a Hon.”

“Well, well! Wbo'd 'a' thought It! What baa he got his off front paw at retched out that way for? Looks If be had a cramp In It and was trying to restore tbe circulation." “Well, that shows bis position—passant He Is also regardant, having his neck twisted In the manner you dr “You are sure that you have got the animal sired up right? I don't me exactly what a lion would lx- doing with acorns. If they were eocoanuta. It might be all rlgbt. but at It Is then seems to be a discrepancy, as It were. Tbe arm with tbe stick and the acorns would suggest a hog as the appropriate roologlcal specimen. - ' “Maybe It should be a bog." Coomer would say. with an Indulgent smile, “but It's an old misprint anyway, for tbe Coomer* of Salem have always had It that stay. That old fellow up there" —pointing, to tbe lean faced ancestor In the wig—“had tbe lion on his family paid much attention to those things." “Not property. I'm afraid. Too see those andirons there? Father brought them from tbe old Coomer mansion be fore It was pulled down Qualm. arroT they? There Is a lot of that old plunder a round the Umar. Yes. that Is a family picton—my grandmother The one over ' -

«wsy,r "lli» that old gun any history?" asks tbrgnraL “Wellj hardly a history." ssys roomer. T brllere that mygrvoi rn-st-ersnd father rhrried that In I be Ur volution try war. i tea. yon may take It down. It's * bit they railed a lower musket Ton can see tbe English goremmeat stamp an tbe lock and barrel. It looks odd-lb these days ~ J -

Coomer had all bnt one. and that one was canraa and leather iMiund. like a ledger. Coomer picked It up aud fiuttrred over tbe ■'Hellor* be exclaimed. There's a weakness I nerer suspected bf him. Be started to keep a diary. Yes. start ed Is the word. Here's Ihe first date— Jan. 1. 1800. How long did he keep It up? Ha! Did ptetly April IT Is the last entry: /Everything going on In the same old way. Nothing of Imp "Let me look.'' said klra. Coomer

eagerly.

“Nay. nay," answered Coomer. •There may he something here that only a son's eye should He went over by the window with the book and.-seating himself chair. Iicgan to skim through the book. written In a brief, concise style. But for all tliat tbe writer had evidently started in with tbe intention of set Ing everything down without reserra Ion aud with the frankness of a •epys. Several times Coomer had to close the diary on his thumb aud abaoblmaclf to mirth, but at last be r to an entry that made him pale and utter an exclamation brought bis wife to bis side. It waa aa 'Feb. 8.—Sleeker positively refuses to consider tbe purchase of the shipload from Argentina, aud I am likely to lose money on It. I think that I will get with Mr. Sleeker. Arsmlnta Is still worrying l«-cause tbe Bybees have painted tbelr crest on tbelr stanhope. I

for b

t any ci

she wanted IL

only told me not to make a bigger fool of myself than 1 could help. Went ud to Levy Moss' in afL and bought assortment of old truck—pictures, miniatures, etc. I think a bargain, for of them didn't cost more than tbe is they-were palmed on. so tbe paint and tbe frame Is net profit. I am going to tell Mme. Minty to use them ancestors, and 1 think she has got tbe courage to do H. Moss has got Junk around. Among other things bought old musket and sword dollar and a half. I will go around and see Carter King tomorrow

e him Ic

i few ci

pedigree*. If be charges too mncb. I relatlonahlp with tbe CoomIters «f Hudson street, who ire always bragging Slioor tbelr old family mansion ai Malem Think tbat will be Ibe best plan, anyway Hope Mm*. Minty will in- satisfied, bnt when she led me she said that sbr didn't If 1 didn't know wbn my grand father was.” Tbat finished the entry. Coomer looked II hls wife, st^ sbr looked at bnt neltiier spoke instead roomer her by tbe band and. larking tbe fatal record beneath Ms inn. led her from tbe basement. Her arm was •bom hls waist, and tbcj looked like ifflletlon bad brought very rio-w together -Chicago Record. “Do yon think people In tbe next rortd will follow tbe same arcana Iona they do berar asked ibe fosmp

ag lady.

"No." saW tbe body will aiufcd

will average sail boles, with MU Isa

THE EXPERT’S THEORY.

One of the older members of the Baltells Ibis anecdote of the late Severn Teackle Wallis as illustrating the cleverness and sarcasm of Mr.

Wallis:

Mr. Wallis was defending the will of a wealthy testator, and. as the lawyers say. when the estate Is Urge a lawyer "will wrestle with a will with a wUL" A prominent physician was railed to testify for those contesting the wUL The doctor became restless under the lengthy ghd exhaustive cross examtnaWallis, aud finally he petu-

CLN'CH WEST FISHISS'

Some young men who enlisted during tile war with Spain, hut never saw any active service, were talking over their days In uniform one night and old. Interesting stories of lamp life. Tbe young man tv bo had been a hospl-

Wallls. I belle

e trsta-

3 In our

r. yon a

quietly: “Doi

of court that the testator wan Inaaue. Why do you say be was Insane r "I believe." the doctor replied, "that every man Is more or less Insane on some one subject." “Is It your deliberate professional opinion." Mr. Wallis then asked, •“expressed here In court under oath, that every man Is more or less Insane on

some subject r

“Yes." Ihe doctor replied; “I will say here under oalb that from my reading, knowledge and experience I believe that every man Is more or less Insane on some one subJecL" Then Mr. Wallis said In that fine tone of sarcasm for which be was noted. “Doctor, has It ever occurred to you tbat you are Insane on the subject of

Insanity T'

Immediately the doctor fired up aud exclaimed. "But. Mr. Wallis. I am not

Mr. Wallis arose and said: “Doctor, according to your own sworn theory, you must be Insane on some subject I pronounce you Insane on tbe subject of Insanity." Court. Jury and spectators laughed •loud, and nothing more was said about itor being Insane.—Baltimore OLD DUTCH WERE CHOLERIC

What a contentious crowd

babltanta of the village, then known a

Breuckelen. now part of Brt

Brooklyn.

Tbe early records are filled reports of Inquiries Into the cam rioting and disturbances of tbe peace. The early court records consist largely of actions brought for slander and assault It Is recorded that a mao was arrested for railing an oOctil a “snappertje." another was pnt In JalL charged with having railed hit neighbor a “dick beestc" and still another was clapped Into Jail for having called a certain official a “bloodsucker.* Some of tbe old Dutch records make Interesting reading. And tbe court meted out Justice In all these cases with-a regard for common sense and a disregard for statute law that one cannot help but admire. One Instance of curious adjustment of penalties may be cited: Tbe village tavern keeper and a contentious woman both appeared before the court, asking Justice. They bad quarreled. The woman bad accused tbe Innkeeper of wttering hls brandy, and be In turn bed applied ao opprobrious epithet to tbe woman. Tbe court after bearing tbe evidence adjudged both to be guilty. With rare discrimination In making tbe pcfilahment fit tbe crime tbe man was fined 8 gulden aud tbe woman, who bad Impugned tbe quality of tbe brandy, waa fined 20 gulden. * With hundreds of limes tbe population today, tbe courts of Brooklyn do not have one-tenth the slander or assaolt cases that they had some 200 years ago. and. as for a riot there has not been one of any magnitude even threatened In more than a score of yean.—Brooklyn Eagle.

All clients knew tbit, wltb “Old Abe" at tbelr lawyer, they would srta tbelr case—If It was fair; If not. that' It was a waste of time to take It to him. After listening some time one day to a would be client's statement wltb fa la eyas on tbe celling, be swung suddenly round In blf chair and exclaimed: "Well, you bare a pretly good case In technical law, bat a pretly bad one In equity and Justice. You'll have to get some other fellow to win this case for you- I couldn't do IL All tbe time, wblle standing talking to tbat Jury. I'd bo thinking. 'Lincoln, you're a liar,' and I believe I should forget myself and say K

e books: Two cup* mean one pint; m cup of butler It half a pound; butr six* of an egg Is two ounces:

il of sugar Is a rounded taad; four tsaspoonfuls (liquid) are o one tablespoonful; one beapI of bouse la om

only was It boL but every day Increased our belief tbat the government bad no Intention of giving us a chance lo get Into action or to let us go back to our homes. It was a mighty tough predicament for a lot of young men who had left business and everything else in a hurst of patriotic enthusiasm and expected to get Into a scrap In short order. The men worked every wire they could to get their discharges, but It was at a time when the man with a pull couldn't get any more thaw the man without a friend. After nwhfli tbe boys give up trying to get their discharge* sod mede up their miuds to grin and bear IL "As a hospital steward 1 used to hear a good deal about tbe health of tbe regiment from tbe surgeons, and one day I was very much surprised to bear ooo of them say that be was afraid Cinch of Company C was gslng to lose hls mind. I knew Cinch ss a big. good natured fellow, who tried to get a discharge as soon aa he learned that we were not going to have a fighc When he failed, be became aulleu and moody. The more we watched him Ibe more convinced we became that something was wrong with him. Every time we came around we fourd him mumbling to himself, and one day a crowd of us found him seated on a stamp In the middle of • big rlover field, holding In front of him a long pole, attached to which was a piece of cord, on the end of which was a pin bent to resemble a fishhook. He would drop Ihe hook Into tbe long grass and let It stay there for a time. Then be would make a cast and when tbe hook fell would alt and wsteb the end of bla line Intently. Every one* In awhile be would Jerk tbe line out of tbe grmaa as though be ' felt a nibble. Once one of tbe boys stepped up and said: “ 'What are you fishing' for? “He got do answer. AO Cinch did was to tarn a pair of hollow eyes on him and then resume hls fishing. After that a gang used to go ont and wsteb Cinch every afternoon. They would bide lu tbe grass and almost wltb laughter at tbe seriousness which tbe poor fellow would esi Hoe of wrapping cord and bis pin book and then sit and wait foi Every once In awhile one of tbe boys would esuoter out and say: “ ■what are you fishing for. Cinch? - “It gut to be tbe regimental saying, and I suppose tbat tbe question. 'What ape you fishing for. Cinch r was thrown at tbe mao from Company C a hundred time* • day. By augju the news got to tbe officers that Cinch was going fasL They heard about bis fishing lu the fields, and one day tbe surgeon major went ont and witnessed tbe per formance. He srwrt hock and reported to tbe eteooel tbat unless cinch once be would be I Tbe result waa tbat bla telegraphed on to Washington and discharge papers were turned at once. Tbe colonel In tbe goodness S>f hls heart went to look np Cinch and give him tbe news He found him sitting on a stomp In tbe field fishing away, while around him sat about 60 of tbe of whom would yeU. ilng for. Cl neb T Tbe colonel stepped np and touching Cinch on shoulder said: “ •Cinch, we think your health dee ao we have procured an honorable discharge for ydh. Here It Is.' and be banded Cl net tbe papers. "Cinch dropped hls fish, grabbed the papers He gave one look at them, and when be saw that they were all right waved them triumphantly over bis bead and shouted at tbe top of hls voice: “This Is what I waa fishing for. daog ye alt This la what I lag for. and I get It too' And with tbat be went dancing over tbe field, leaving ui standing there, the first gtram of tbe truth creeping Into —

L and by

___ regimental q nest Ion. ‘What ai Ashing foe. CinchT" bad beeo al ad and In' a most emphatic am prising fashion. Cinch « anybody, bnt wbe ' *

coal?" be asked

“Knin't I git de Job?" “Why. you're pretty small, and thru you might charge too much. Yon might ask more than I could pay." “Dow mncb la yo' got7" asked tbe small man of business. “Kin yo* raise a dollabr “Oh. mv gon.loess, nor “Seventy-five cents?" "No; run along and don't bother me.” And she started to dose tbe door. “Mebbe so yo'U gib SO cents." "No. no; run along." •i reckons yo' all ain't got *r qua'tab?" “No." “Ker a dime?" “No. not even a dime." replied tbe woman, beginning to laugh. “Well, bow mncb Is yo’ got?" questioned Ham. showing*hls Ivories. “I sut'nly dews wanlrr git de Job." "Fve got just s nickel." “Well I'm Jua' a-lookio fer nickel Jobs.” And be straightway begam.— Washington star.

of hi* risltoca on u a man who said o the deputy who answered tbe call it tbe window: “1 a.o going out of town today and rant to'get a letter to my brother, wbo a on board tbe Majestic, aad she M

stay la New York or where be will go from here. Caa

yon help me?"

"Certainly we can." said the deck. “A mallboat goes to meet tbe steamer, and If you address your letter property and po* domestic postage on It It win ddl.-rrad all rlgbt”

“But b

id nr

Lillie Jack—till, muite-r. I do lore eakel It's awful skew Mother treprovlagtyi—Iso should not say you “love" cake-say "Ilk*.* Do sol my “awful"-my -very.” Do oet ■y "Bte*"-my “good.” And. by ibe ray. tbe word "oh" shoo Id be omitted, low. my deer, repeat tbe seuteoca coronly. Jack-1 like cate. If* very good. Mother—That's better Jack twlih aa air of dtegueti - It ■mods as If I was only talking ’boat

ind with. the wife bud bud ■ drat of prororatlon. Hie magistrate, turning to tbe bue-

d the magistrate. "I will bind her orer to keep the peace." “To- eua'L" (booted tbe husband: “she's thrown It a way!” - Ft arson's Weekly.

To ban

a perfect stomach a mao u

not used of ao agraL pa/ "be* /••

"Addrtsa It ■John Smith, possessor on board tacomlng steamer Majeeril, due In New York. Dec. 12.' Tbat win

reneb him."

“No city? No nothing?" •That’s all-just as 1 told you.” Tbe man thanked tbe clerk and west away, and came back a little biter wltb an addressed letter la Me baud. -Bay." be mid to tbe clerk, “about that letter. I've addressed U aad (tamped U all right, bat the mas's name Isn't John Smith. How about that?"-New York Tribune.

of tbe Bucks county papers for SO years. 'He wouldn't glre It up fur anything.' mid tbla man's non. •Ho gets more real enjoyment from It than from anything be reads A da By edition baa been started within the test ten years, but be d He only gets tk print* gossip ol the virion* town* throughout tbe cc ty. He will pore over tble by tbe bi

"Why. 1 uaed to | father.” or "1 once licked bis Dncia Jim for tying my clothes up when we used to go swimming In the Neabaat-

of de road?" queried tbe o wbo aat In a chair at the bead of tl sum. “Yes: b*'* tbe man I want to am replied tbe caHer. “ ’Bom a pern or “About buying out the road for tSOr 000.000. Caa you attend to tbe bmb nem for m*r “I 'specu I could, mb, but. die bote my second day yera aa twin I ain't tmb In powerful well, perhaps you’d better see de president himelf-right down de ball an second doth to de left mb.”— Chicago News

Tbe 3-ysar-old son of a fiat dweller, wbo had beard bh father complain «ecaskmally bee*us

1 come down and play with m*r Not today.” mid Mrs Blank; “tea U In no condition to play." "IVfcrt'i the matterr naked tbe boy anxiously. T* sb* drunk?”—New Yoafc

“My boy—be"* only • p •aid Stuart Bobmu. tba actor ty of friends at tbe Playaa* gDtn up writing play* andta