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VOL. I. '

SEA ISLE CITY, N. J., JUNE 8. 1883. — Si^— ^

NO. -2C.

<$ra £iourrr. ADVERTISING RATES. I ' ' # it bma * ouml a mo i Um column.... $:» oo stow i*s mt llAir t oluiub . 40«0 » A 15 <* ftpmtr 1'ilnmn » om 15 00 too TsissItnSw. ....... 10 QO tui 4uo Om loot : 5 00 S 00 I 00 11.UA ■ A. UOUt. COUNSELOR- AT-LAW, Hkilrr la ( ha»rrr; And N*Urx F«bllc Hrsnch office, Het UK City. 7 -ST -j MeskKace ami Main office. YutlsuU. Nrv Jersey. JAM. U. NIXOH, A TTU11N K 1 AXI>CoL'.1UUA>U AT L»AW. outer la iniuranrr lulldla«, 7-f7.jr M1LLVILLK, S. J. Q KO. B. l OOPil, UNITED STATES COMMISSIONER, -..tf.jr MILLVILLK. N. J. jji ». 11 I'M Ml ME YB, HOMEOPATH 1ST, hEA IHLE CITY. K. J. C t NEWS IN BRIEF" ! > — The wason in Canada promise* well t for cn>i*s the wtow having gradually di*a]>i>eaml without destructive floo d* j — Two experienced French gentlemen t are perfecting arrangements to establish I an ostrich farm in Medina county, c Texas. — Seems as if they did nothing but J declare semi-annual dividends in Ronton, 1 where tliey announce a total of $8,144,770 for April. —The California wine production, as , measured by receipts at San Francisco, \ has risen from 3,3114,007 gallons in 1879 j to 7,(|1,OOU m 1882. —Acre are 40,000 square miles of < almost unbroken forests in N erth Caro- i Una, comprising pine, chestnut, oak, t maple, bench and hickory timber. 1 — Mr. Raillie of Dochfuor, one of the j largest landed proprietors in Scotland, died at Florence u few day ago. lie owned 106,000 acr«, principally in In-verness-sliire. t —Frederick Pouglamdeuie* the statements that he is worth $100,000, or $150, • j 000, and declares that both his fortune and his annual income are very greatly | overestimated. ; —The police of Minuenpolis, Minn., have been ordered to bait pedestrians found in the streets after midnight and ' to compel them to give an accurate 1 account of themselves. —An Englishman who wears a corset in order to reduce lib waist, and who laced it six inches tighter than his natural site, declares that the sensation b , rather pleasant than otherwise. —l>r. Ziegler, the eminent Swiss car- j tog/apher, whose death has just been anno*"**^, was born in 1801, and was a pupil o/ Cwrl Hitter, who has lieeu cal ed the creator of modem geography. I __CoI. Cyrus M. Wheaton. who died ' «4 RahoboUi, Mass., last week, aged 82 years, had been town clerk of that place for more than 40 year*, and at the agu of 81 was a member of the State Legislature. —A painted advertisement in huge -white letters upon the rocks of Lookout .Mountain caused a spirited horse to run •way one day last week, and horse and driver went headlong over a cliff and were Killed. —A very significant proof of the reduction in coal waste resulting from the efforts of the Anti-smoke Amociation b seen in the fact that In 1882 there was a decrease of 183,173 tons in the coal brought into London. —Not more than half the usual supply of LlAjfle syrup has been made in Maine this season, owing to unfavorable condition * of frost and snow during the winter* which prevented a copious flow of ffitp at the usual time. - Mrs. Fletcher Webster, who has been very reriously ill for many weeks at a hotel in Boston, has been removed, to her home in MarshfWd, Mass. Her illness was partial paralysis, attributes! to a draught in a railroad car —A capitalist offered to erect at St. Paul a tMOO hotel provided the cltlrens would subscribe W00, 000, to be ndd on the completion of the building. The offer was accepted. Kansas City Is now looking for a similar offer. _Mn. Cray croft, the sister of Sir John Franklin, died last wa£«ber hoiaw at Dorking at the age of 00. bbe m»nt the greater part of her fortune on the expedition* which were sent to Uw Arctic regions In search of the famous explorer. —The venerable Archbishop Furcell U again In seriously failing health, and the grave** apprehensions of lib friends are aroused. WralyM- has attacked his organs of speech, awl lie can merely articulate above a whisper. He b living at the Convent of 3a UiwUnea; 8L Martin's, Ohio. — Angeh) Marinno, a pilot of Para, Brazil, the survivor of three wives, by whom be has Luty -Ave children, still *• living and through which children lie b calked grandpapa by 119 persons, mat-grandpapa by 181, and great -great - f . ., * •<. . ' 'J Y, . . . ■; f vJ A ' •

UUKaMS or YOUTH. 1 alt lu the quit* wuonOglit And list to the soug of the w» v*j, And 1 waU-hVlie druuplug willow As It bends Its bough* to the Uve. As 1 dream the Ire vis of tho hazel And the gnarled and knotted gum, Are falling and drifliug around mr, . And I think of uu childhood's home. And among the breutouu* pictures That hang lu memory's hall, la one of my early childhood, Thai Mxuuulh brightest of all. I oucc had a darling sister, With eves that vrere dark ami deep; Hut 'ureth the weeping willows, ^ We laid her In prnur to sle^». With light and gladsome foOUtvps, Krr« as the winds that blow. We roved through the diui olu forost In (lie summers of long ago. Hut, aht her steiw grew wegry And faint with the spirit's strife; She v%as borne in saint-like beauty To the realms of eternal life. And here Iwnt-ath the willow, Where the streamlets dancing wave I* ever murmuring its music, We made her lonely grave. A TIN SAFK. Onirics Lynford was a young me fhuiiic in good business. At the age of twenty six lie hail taken to himself a wife, Carolina Eustis, the daughter of a neighbor, who had nothing to briug him except her own personal merits, which were many, tuid habits of thrift learned in an economical household, under the stern teaching of necessity. It was well, perliaps, that Charles Lyufonl should obtain a wife of thb character, since he himself found it difficult to save anything froiu lib income. It was not long before Carolina became acquainted with her husband's failing. She could not feel quite easy in the knowledge that they were living fully up to their income, for seeing that a time would come when their family would grow more expensive, and perhaps her husband's business, now nourmight become less so. Accordingly, one day she pu relumed qf a tin-peddler who cauie to the door, a little tin safe, such as children frequently use as a savings hank. Thb she placed conspicuously on the mantelpiece, so tliat her hushond might be sure to sec it ou entering. "Hello! Carrie, what's that?" he asked curiously. •Only a little purchase I made to-day," said the wife. "Rut what bit meant for?" he asked "Let we illustrate," said hb wife playfully. Have you 10-cent piece about you?" Charles drew a dime from hb pocket, lib wife,, taking it from his hand, dropped it tlirough a utile slit at Uie top. Charles laughed. "So you have taken to hoarding, Carrie? My little wife become u miser?" "No1 only a little prudent. Rut, seriously, Charles, tliat b what 1 want you to do everv night." "What! drop a dime into tliat newfangled arrangement of yours?" "Exactly." 44 Very well; that will be easy enough. A dime b no great sum . Rut may 1 know what you are going to do wltli thb newly comn«eiiced hoard?" "Lay it by for a rainy day," answered Caroline. Charles laughed merrily. 4 'And what will a (lime a day amount to?" lie inquired. *In a year it will amount," commenced hb wife seriously— "O, never mind— spare me the calculation! it sounds to much like buain ess, and 1 have enough of tliat during the day." "Rut you don't object to my plan?" "Not in tlie least. 1 have no doubt It b very prudent and commendable; but you know, Carrie, J never was gifted with much prudence." "I am quite aware of that," said hb wife smiling. Thb ended the conversation for the time. The phtn inaugurated by the young wife was steadily carried out. She was not one of those, of whom there are so many, who enter upon a new plan zealously, but soon tire of it. In the present case she was thoroughly mtiv tied of the wisdom of her purpose, and resolved to carry it through. Every morning rim called on her husband for a dime, which was quickly added to the accumulation. Frequently lie had not the exact change, but would toss her a quarter Instead. She would assure ldm, laughingly, that thb would answer her purpose equally as wWl. More tnan oooa Charles bantered her on the subject of her little savings bank, but these were not the only aceessidns the funds received. Her husband early arranged to make her an amide allowance for drew. I say ample, though I dare say some of my city readers might not consider It so. But (.Caroline, who was In the liabit of making up her own dresses, provided herself with a good wardrobe at a much ben expense than some not so well versed In the •r.tonc* of managing could have done. After considerable calculation site ramc to the conclusion that out other allowance she could be able to make a daily deposit equal to Umt rite exacted from her husband. Of thb, however, sbethoartbtb«L on the whole, not to infonn CharU*— enjoying, in anticipation, the pruapect of being abb at sou* time to surprise ldm with the unexpected amount of her savings. At Um close of every month the tin

box was emptied ami the entire contents transferred to a more pretentious savings bank, where interest would tie allowed. When the sums deposited there liecame large enough Mrs. I.ynfonl, who luid considerable business capacity, withdrew and invested in lank and other stocks, which jrould yield a large iter cmt. Of her mode of investment Iter husband remained in complete ignorance. Nor did lie ever express any deaire to be made acquainted with lib wife's management, lie was an easy, careless fellow, spending as he went, enjoying the present and not feeling any particular concern about the future. At tire end of eight years, during which time he hail been unusually favored by prosperity in business and uninterrupted in health, hb books showed that he had not exceeded hb income, but on the other luuid had saved absolutely nothing. Twenty-five cents alone stood to hb credit. "Running pretty close, isu't it Carrie?" he said laughingly. "I take credit to myself for keeping on the right side of Uie line. Rut then, 1 suppose you have saved an immense sum." "IIow much do you think?" asked hb wife. "O, perhaps $100,*' said he, carelessly ; "though it would take a good many dimes to do that." 11 is wife siniled, but did not volunteer to enlighten him as to the correctness of hb conjecture. So things went on, till at length came the panic of 1H7S— a panic so recent tliat it will be remembered by many readers of thb sketch. It will be remembered how universally trade and business of every kind were depressed at that period. Among others the trade which occupied Charles Lynford suffered. One evening he came home looking quite serious — an expresnion which seldom came over hb cheerf ul face. Caroline, who hail watched the signs of the times, was not unprepared to see this. She liad expected tliat her husband's business would be affected. "What b the matter, diaries? ' she asked, cheerfully. "Tlie matter lit, that we shall have to economize greatly." "Anything unfavorable turned up in business matters?" 441 should think there hail. I shall have but half a day's work for some time to .come, ami lam afraid that even thb will fail lieforekmg. You haven't an idea how dull business of every* kind has become." "I think I liave," said hb wife, quietly, "1 have read the jiapers carefully aiid have been looking out for something of thb Jtind." "Do you think we can reduce our ex(tenses one-half?" asked her husband, doubtfully. "I think we shall lie able to do so. Roth of us are well sujiplied with clothing, and we shall not need any more for a year at least. That will cut off considerable expense. Then there a great many superfluities you are accustomed to buy-little things you are kind enough to briug borne to me frequently, which , I can do very well wit -tout. Then we can plainly have toss pits and cakes; and I have no doubt it will be an improvement so far as health b concerned. " 4 4 What a calculator you are, Carrie!" said lier husband, feeling considerably easier In mind. 441 really think, after I all you have said, that it wont be so hard to live on half our usual income — for the preeent at least. But"— and ; hb countenance again cltangcd — 4 tuppose my work should entirely fail, 1 . suppose you couldn't reduce our expenses to nothinff at all. could you?" • 'Tliat certainly sun>ajwea my power." said hb wife, smiling; "but even in ; tliat case there b no ground for discouragement. You haVe not forgotten our • savings bank, have you?" t 44 Why no; 1 didn,t think of that," ; said her husband. 4%l suppose that would keep off starvation for a few weeks." i lib wife smiled. "And In those few weeks," she added > "business might revive." "To lie sure," said her husband. : "Well I guess that it'll be all right ; 1 '11 » not trouble myself about It any Ioni g*r." l l The apprehensions to which Mr. j Lynford had -given expression proved - to be only too well founned. In lew I than h month from the date of the conr vernation just recorded, the limited supr ply of work which he liad been able to secure entirely failed, and he found t himself without work of any kind— i throw n back on hb own resources. ! Although he had expected this, it . seemed unexpected when It came upon him, and again be turned in a tit of r discouragement. He briefly explained • to hb wife the new calamity which had - come uiwu them. I "And the worst of it is," he added. i. "there b no hope of better times till Spring. ' I "Do you think burinem will revive t then?" asked hb wife. "It must by tliat time; there ere five v or six month* between. 1 don't know ti bow we are to live during that time." II 4i do." said hb wife quietly. ii "Your' exclaimed her hnslnnd in surprise. e ,fYes, your income has never been r more than fflOO or |T00 a year, and I & hare no dout* we can live tlx months (1 on $300." "Yea, certainly; but where b that o money to oome from? 1 dotal want to l- run in debt, and if I dkl 1 should not • know where to borrow." h "Fortunatsly there is no need of it, mid Mrs, Lynrord. "You *mm tt n forget eur UttJs mvlngs bank."

t "And b It possible it can amount to - $230?" exclaimed Ciiarles in surprise. 44 Yes, and $000 mow," said hb \ wife. » , "Impossible!" , 4 Wait a minute and 1 will prove I it." i Caroline withdrew u moment, and l then reap|>eured with several certificates - of hank aiid rail mod riiare», amounting - to $800, and a bank book in which a \ balance was deposited to Iter credit. 41 Are you quite sure you haven ^ received a legacy?" demanded ('lurries iu : amazement. 'Surely a dime a day Itas not produced thb?" 4,No; hut two dime* a day have, with • a little extra detNtsit now and then. I . think, Charles we shall be able to ward off starvation for a lime." i 44 All this 1 owe to your nrudeiioe," | i said Charles gratefully. How can 1 repay you?" , Charhvi Lynford remained out of j employment for some months, but in the spring, as he anticipated, business revived, and he was in receipt of hb okl income. More than two-thirds of the fund was still left, and henceforth Cltarle* was uo less assiduous that hb wife iu striv- ! ing to increase it. The little tin savings bauk still stands on tho mantel -piece and never faib to receive a dejmsit daily. A MnwMrr) z-ariu. Mr Bradshcar. a grower of strawberries in Georgia says; I planted twentyacres in berries. Off these twenty acres I sold $1,801) worth of berries, deducting the freight for Uie most part. We cleared in actual cash $1,000 or aliout $75 an acre. Tlie net profit would have been larger except for inexperience in slapping , pour facilities and the small yield of berries." "Are you doing better thb year?" •4Muyh better My yield is much larger. 1 have already picked and sold over ten thousand quarts a day two days last week, and will get one thousand to-day." 44 Are prices better thb season?" "I am selling with more judgment. At the first of the season I got $1 a quart, I then drop|»ed to 50 cents a quart, and then 25 cents. To-day 1 reduced the price in Thomasville to 15 ceuta a quart, and sold all my man could liaiil. 1 made u trade with Mr. Pillow, of Jacksonville, to sell him all the berries I could ship at 13 cents a quart at my packinghouse, up to May 1. They net me 10 cents a quart and I have del i verod h iin live th» rnsand quarts. The ffiippiug facilities offered me are not yet all 1 want, not are the rates adjusted property. For example, T can ship a hundred ]K>unds of berries to New York and have my refrigerator returned to mo for just half whitt it carta mo to ship the same berries to Atlanta. The rates given to me to Athuita'b $1.07 a hundred, or just 3 cents leas than the express rate. In spite of thb 1 will clear over $100 an acre on my berries, or $2,600 on my twenty-acre patch." "What was the expense of cultivating it?" "It cost me just $48 thb yfcar. Tlie sale of plants ami strawberries more than paid the whole expenses." Thb is tlie story of a strawberry farm. , A clear profit of $100 an acre on berries, coming In when money is needed b | enough to tempt others to berryrtpltuiv. At M r. Blockahear's low estimate of one 1 thousand quarts to the acre, from which he has already gathered five hundred quarts, hemes can 1* sold at five cents a quart and more money made than with any of tlie heavy crops. MoMlcknrs* C»t>**<1 By ImAAlnsOon. i It may lia\c liapj«ened to many of you ■ to feel a degree of seMtckmw, or, at " any rate, of the discomfort in which tliat slate ordinarily commences, from tlie mere contemplation of an agitated sea, especially iu view of a ship tossing about in it. And I remember very well that when, at one of our semiscientiftc or popular exhibitions in London, there I was a small model of a ship, which floated— as it were— upon a sea of guldbeater4* skin, and was made, by a conl ceaVd combination of. levers, to go - through a series of movements remarkably resembling the pitching and rolling of a shin at sea, with an occasional 1 sinking aown Into the trough of a wave, * manv persons said that they oould not ■ continue to look at it without sanitations - which made it desirable for them to i turn away. I was once tokl of a lady 1 who accompanied a friend to see her off - by steamer, 1 think Mffifll the British Channel, and on whom the sight of the t rough sea and of tho heaving of the i vessel at Uie pier was sufficient to excite f real and rouijdcte seasickne**. Clearly 1 it was the mental state, in these casks, 1 that called up a physical condition of the central organs so far corresponding , to tliat which the actual experience I would have done as not only to produce the sensation, but U»e renex act prompt - c on by it. It was not the mere sight , but the "associations connected with the p sight, that brought about that feeling, r Triere b an oM story told of himself by II a very able physician of hb dky. Van Swleten, which is an excellent ill art rail tion of thb tendency to tlie reproduction a ( a former phyrteal state by a n strong mental impression, lie says I that he onee happened to pass a place a where tliete was a body of s d<ig in s state of such loathsome decomposition J as to produce upon him the physical reo salt to which I hare just now alluded ►t Some years afterward, in passing ths same spot, the remembrance of what " be then saw and smelt come upon him D with such vividness as to reproduce the soma result

, TU* Mr»a b*rr» . » Norfolk, Virginia, Utiw centre of the great strawberry fields. Frota the Western branch buck of Fortsiuouth, across • tlie N orfolk and Western JLnlruad ; along the Eastern Branch, down the Virgiub I Beach Railroad to Friitccn* Anne Court » House, and around to Norfolk again by way of I^ambert 's Foiut is tlie straw - > berry country that suppln-s the North and West with this delicious fruit at thb season of the year. Tiu* first shipment was made on the 5th of May, and by tlie 1 15th tlie** Imrric* will be so plentiful tliat tuauy of tlteui will rot on the whatvea from lack of tiuu»j*>i tatiou. Tin* crop is rather late this year on aecouut of tlie severe rains in April; but the uarui, bright sun of tin- past few days will ripen liieni fast and they will not only be plentiful but cheap. < >n tlie 10th says a reporter, 1 went out to a large farm on the outskirts of the city. Two hundred ami fifty acres were covered with berries. Scon* of colored |«ople were lioemg and grubbing. Tlie sun's lieal was something terrific, but they didn't mind it. ' Tlie owner of a farm of twenty-five acre* told me that tliat amount of laud would produce three thousand crates. 44llalf of these," said he, "are lost by bad picking, neglect or stealiug. We will only count on fifteen hundred crates sun', us coming from that amount of land. Each crate holds sixty quarts, which we sell at ten cents a quart to retailers and cominuciion agent* in other cities. We get back iu money f rum UKproduce of tliat many acres tlie sum of $b,0U0. This is an actual average. We Itave several varieties of lierric*; The Wilson seudiing, the Sliarplc?*, Charleston, Stuart aud another kind which we call the Nameless. Tlie vines -of the latter 1 got from a negro, and they come first. The Wilson out yields all others and are the most popular. These are planted twelve inches apart, aud tlie rows an- about three feet from each other. The Cliarlestoii* and Stuarts are planted five feel ai«trl in the hilb and eighteen inche* between, because they are great runner*. Tin* Wilsons grow in cluster* or bunches and are therefore diffetvul in taste and size, l^tnd of natural medium stillness will yield more than light land, hut tin- soil tliat L* made stiff artificially by the free use of water will not have the desired effect in the matter of production. We can plant any time between October and early Miring, and I prefer the latter season. Those who plant in tlie fall generally pjacc the berry Heedliugs ou the south side of noine other crop, such as kale, com and beau*, giving as a reason for so doing that the taller crops protect Um* tender berry from the cold of the north wind during tin* winter; but my experience of twenty years lias taugiit me that the berries so lilauted don't do so well, and therefore 1 plant them in the early spring and alone. The same culture that is used in corn and other crops b all that 's misled in this. Anything that Will keep the grass out will do. "Once the season o;»eii* we pick every day, and of course lutve to ship the same day, by whatever steamer is leaving for the N orth on that day. F reiglit to New York and Philadelphia is one cent |**r quart; to Boston, one ami one-quarter cents, and to Baltimore, three-quarters of a cant. We ship to all Nortlieru markets. Boston is tlie "best market, for the people of that city must he very fond of strawberries, as they use an immense quantity. Philadelphia comes next ami then N ew Y ark ami Bait unore. i Rut there is a new field opemil for us by the completion of the Clie&qieakc and Ohio liail road to Newport News. Thev have built immense refrigerator care, for Uie puriHwc of transporting our truck, ftnits and fbli to tlie est . 17ie picker* i are fold two cents a quart for picking. . A first-class picker can make by 2 P. if. i —our time to stop for Uie day — picking i Wilsons, from $2.50 to $3, 1 have |«kid I a man ami hb wife six dollars iu one day, ; but it b the lianlent thing in the world I to get good pickers trow -a-days. Tlie • numtar of railroad* buildifig and other J improvements going on around us take i the liost hand* off ami we lutve to send - over to the eastern shore and northern - neck uf Virginia for help to mjouat us > during the fruit and tnirking season. ■ What we really need is aood German [ pickers, who will take Uielr tents out in i the fields and stay there until Uie season , b over. We have labor enough, such 1 as it b, but tlie lem said about thequalt lty of it the letter. When tlie colored i people are jwul off, at the end of a day r or week, they invariably go to town and r will not work again until all their money i b gone : hut the Germans I have seen in s the North picking l«etri»* remain, «a I 5 said before, in the Held until the season > b finblied, ahi they get tlieii money r in bulk and return tollieir homes. Those , are Uie kiml we need and all such con f get stead v employment, for, after the r berrv wuou b over, we want them for 5 other crop*. Sweet peas oome next, then e prtatoe* Umis. etc., ami there b uo ex- - cuse for any farm laborer to bo idle, t People far from town are planting small p crops, because they can't get labor, and • in tub reaper t we are more fortunate V Uian thev ore- You can safoly say thai ii all good" farm laborers can get all the r employment tliey want in thb locality* "The openiug of the Virginia Blrtth X Railroad to the ocean* will open up a • tx«w trucking section of country that e has heretofore Iieen neglected on account s of the lock of pcxqier transportation, ft The nearer wc get to the ocean the 8 nearer we are to the gulf stream, the I consequence of which will be earlier e truck and fruits, and. then the new J direct a venae to the W ert will open ur ft new markets to ua, and with the unao- • poly we hare at thb seown, In the Northern cities there b no danger but

w liat w tr can sell at good prices all the stuff that can or will he raised in thb section." "How much i* truck and fruit iand worth an acre in Norfolk and Pnnoewi Anne Counties?" "That depends on locality altugeUi er. Improved lands in the vicinit) of Norfolk or Portaiu«>QUi are worth $100 per acre. There are only muet) acres in DeRrei» Park, as it b known by, and the owner asks $150, UUU for it ; but thb b au exceiKional case. In the territory already ipoken of as ybout to he opened up by tlie new railroad, there b plenty of virgui land well covered with timber, which, no doubt, can be bought at reasonable figures now, but it u only a question of time when lite whole territory in PriiH-easi Anne couifty , from here to tlie Atlantic Ocean, will resemble one continued truck and fruit farm. Tlie timber is Liund to go as the country settles up, and early fruits aud vegetables will take its place. " 44 Do you think thecropof straw hemes will be greater or leas tins year than last?"we queried. •The stonus of A|inJ did not kill the blooms and the crop will be very heavy. Some people rent tin- land this season, and if they are fortunate aud tneet with no mishaps, by next season they will own their own farm; if not where they are now, it may lie further down toward the ocean. 1 know one young man who - bought a small farm cueitiug $3,(JU0 on credit last year, and this year he b the sole owner, having made tnooe) enough on Irish potatoes alone last season to pay all of his indebtedness." iraOsn A pylr 1*1*. The principul feature about tlse common run tif eating-bouses south of the Ohio river t* tin- plain, unassuming little ap|il«vpie whwii the) i**t forth. Y ou can buy the little pie for ouly ten cents, hut it is seldom tliat a |uu**-uger eats more than one in a lifetime. After you Itave eaten it, and drank one or taxi glasses of water, tlie pie gets sociable, and gradual I v unpreases upon your mind ttw- fact tliat you will not feel lonesome as long as it travel* with you. Tlie strangest tiling is, >ou never do. Atuut fifteen minute* after you have made its acquaintance the waistband of your pauts cannot meet n> note, and detuan«ls an extension. A half hour later, wheu you retire to your berth in the sleeping car, and fall into a troubled slumber, the pie, not being at all sleepy, concludes to have some fun. The first thing you set* in your dream* w your own body graduali> swelling iu the alia;*- of a balloon. The balloon get* larger and larger' until it puriieti tlie U|iper uertli to the top uf the car, and Iheu you liear tin- smothered cries for help of the tnan it contains. Tlie swelling increases, and you imagine tliat you fioat upward and bump against the roof of tlie car like a toy balloon which lia* escaped from the grasp of a child. This feeling lasts for some time, but suddenly you swell until you fill tlie interior of the car and suffocate the jsowengers, when you explode and the train is wrecked. Tbe ten-cent pie is proud of the fact tliat it lias takeu hold of a strong man, who has been shot through and never murmured about it, and doubled him up until his spine cracked, hurled him from one aide of his berth to the other, and made htm liellow for i*regoric like a child. This is the style of pie prepared hv eating-house* in the South for the benefit of traveller*. It weigh* four ounces, contain* three dozen full-grown cramps, and can always lie purrliaaed for tlie small sum of ten oeu\». A Csasry Mouw. Some time during last w inter a noise similar to the note of a canary bird was lieurd in on® of tlie rooms on tlie firat floor of a house iu Bedford County . l*a. It was the room in which the lady of the house hail been sleeping and a canary bird was caged in the same room. She, thinking it rather unusual for the bird to t* chirping at that hour of the night, Ed up and lighting a lamp found the nl to bv iu a sleeping postureand perfectly quiet. The light was blown out, the lady again retired and shortly after the same musical noise was heard again Gazing sharply in the direction of the sound the lady was enabled by the light thrown on the floor by the stove tosses mouse sitting on the oilcloth and actually inn taU ug the canary. In order Unit there might be no mistake otbei members of tlie family remained quietly in the room after nightfall and aaw the little musician ixane out upon the oilcloth and set up its song. Finally a trap was set and two mice caught, after which no more chirping was hoard. n«w Vtllora g«t » Start. Vitlard lias made a great fortune. U is put at all kind* of figure*. Some my he has from 989,066,090 to $25,000,000. L Villard was » young GtMman of respeotable but not at all aristocratic family who came to thb country some vear* 1 before the war. He had a knack for business, and although for arose years he had to be a newspaper corres|Kodmit and get beaten around from point to point, be kept nmoey in hb mind He made his first mOMQr in a big whisky deal in Washington Aware that the ; taxes wouhl have th be rained in order to provide the govermeut with the revenue, he addremrd himeslf to knowtna when and to what extent the tare* would » 1* raised on vital matter* like whisky, tobacco, etc. la that way hb became r connected with Horace White, who wet a political correspondent-, of com > mittee, etc. There men and a few of - their frtend* made gxvri round sums of f money fbr thai day. porhops $00,060 to l $160,000 apiece.